Chapter Text
Pete did not know a life outside of his existence as a Guardian, but that was not to say he wasn’t curious.
Guardians did not sleep or eat, so there was nothing but time to observe humans. Humans, on the other hand, could only be observed. They were not aware of the Guardians around them unless they were made aware.
Still, the Guardians were ever-present.
Pete gathered with the others on the cliff where they liked to watch the sunrise as the waves crashed on the rocks below them. Pete, like his fellow Guardians, could see the sunrise and could hear the birds around them, but that was all. They could not smell the salt from the sea, nor taste its brine in the back of their throats. They could not feel the southern winds blowing warm against their skin. They were just observers, not made for more.
Pete shifted his belt over his plain black tunic, which he considered a type of uniform, and turned to the Guardian next to him, Erika. She looked older, though Pete supposed they were all just as timeless as the rest. He himself resembled a young man, fresh-faced with soft, delicate features. Erika reminded him of the matrons he watched calling for their older children as they neared the time they would leave to make their own household.
“It’s been quiet lately,” Erika said, turning to fix Pete with a serious look.
Pete nodded. There had been a war, just a few months prior, that had lasted over a hundred days. The blood had soaked into the soil, though Pete could not smell the copper like the humans could. At some point, though, even their noses acclimated to the scent.
It seemed the Panya Clan, tenuously united, still had many enemies. It felt like only a matter of time before another would attack Theera Castle.
Pete squinted, his gaze roaming above the village to the large stone fortress at the top of the hill, near the edge of the cliff. He had spent many, many days stalking the halls, so he was well familiar with its inhabitants. In fact, one of them was his main reason for being. Not every human is assigned their own personal guardian, but some are in need of one.
Macau was one such human.
He was a sickly child when he was young, but he was not meant to pass. Not yet. So Pete had been assigned to him, stroking his fevered forehead and cheeks. Pete had watched over him as he slept. As tempted as Pete was at times to show himself to Macau, he had only done it once. Macau had been delirious with fever, crying out for someone to help him. His mother had passed the week before, and his nanny disliked the pre-pubescent boy, so Pete let Macau see that he was not alone. Macau’s eyes had gone wide, so Pete smiled at him pleasantly, showing off his dimples.
“It’s alright, Macau,” Pete had murmured, stroking his hair. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Pete bent to press a kiss to Macau’s temple, and Macau closed his eyes.
“I knew you were there,” he whispered.
Pete made himself invisible again in time for Macau’s brother, Vegas, to enter the room with a fresh bowl of cool water and medicine.
Pete watched as Vegas gently wiped Macau down and helped him swallow the medicine, his face pinched with worry the entire time. Vegas was only on the cusp of manhood and had to take on such a responsibility.
Pete knew the children in the village had little to no luxury, and probably needed the presence of Guardians more, but something about Vegas always drew his special attention. He was a walking contradiction, and Pete was fascinated by him more than any other human.
He would follow him through the castle halls, watching him sneer at everyone, only to see him gaze fondly at Macau later that same evening. Vegas was his cousin Kinn’s general, so Pete had seen up close many times how proficient Vegas was on the battlefield. He was ruthless, returning to his rooms coated in the blood of his enemies. Pete had watched the very same man, though, lounging in a soft tunic in his bed with a book in his hands, looking completely harmless. Sometimes, after checking on Macau, Pete would sit on the floor beside Vegas’s bed and just watch him read for hours, burning through several candles before he finally went to bed.
Pete wondered what the pages felt like. Were they sharp? Were they soft? He would rest his hand on the book where Vegas had dropped it, snoring softly. Would the binding be warmed from Vegas’s body heat? Just as the wanting threatened to consume him, Pete would frown, curling his fingers as he snatched his hand away and retreated to somewhere outside of the castle, away from the ever-present temptation.
Vegas would sit in on meetings as Pete observed, wondering why he wasn’t chosen to be the next king. It wasn’t that Kinn was unworthy, but Vegas just seemed to want it, as he wanted everything, more. He expended more effort to keep everyone, especially his brother, safe. He was sharp, able to predict the moves their enemies would make well in advance. He had a mind for running the castle, as well, making sure their stores were always full enough and that the people in the village below had at least the necessities to make it through each season. Kinn, however, was better liked by the people by a mile. He was strong, but had a kindness to him, even though he had not anticipated the position. His elder brother had abdicated after a near-death experience that left his mind broken. Khun often wandered the halls, mumbling to himself and jumping at shadows when he wasn’t laughing raucously.
Pete knew the truth, though. Khun wasn’t jumping at shadows. He was able to sense Guardians. Pete didn’t know how, but Khun had approached him several times as he wandered the halls. Even stranger, one of Khun’s valets, who was always with him, sometimes let his gaze hover in Pete’s direction just long enough to make him suspicious.
The first time Khun had spoken to him, Pete had thought he had accidentally made himself visible, not that he had ever done that before. Pete had blinked, transporting himself instantaneously to another room in the castle. He waved a hand in front of Kim, Kinn’s younger brother, who continued to play his lyre and ignored him. Pete knew that Kim had become rather enamored with a young boy from the village, but he had to keep it a secret, and wondered if the song was meant for him. Pete thought it was sweet, even if he didn’t completely understand.
He blinked, appearing before the king himself, but Kinn kept talking with his advisor, Chan, and neither of them acknowledged his presence. He checked in with Macau, but Macau was just in his room, painting. Pete scowled for a moment. Macau knew better than to sit by the window without a blanket. With a light huff, Pete knocked the blanket onto the floor near his feet.
“What the-” Macau mumbled, turning. He didn’t see Pete, but Pete smiled when Macau picked the blanket up and wrapped it around his shoulders before he resumed painting.
Last, Pete found Vegas, who was sitting at a table in the Great Hall, eating a peach. There was a large tree near the very edge of the cliff where the brave picked them when they didn’t want to venture further away. Many had gotten and eaten peaches from elsewhere and it never caught Pete’s attention. However, as one of the brave few who preferred the peaches from the tree on the cliff, Vegas always made Pete sit and watch. Pete could not taste, but watching Vegas devour the fruit made him wish more than anything that he could. He sat longer than he meant to, his mind turning to thoughts of himself licking the juice that gathered at the corners of Vegas’s mouth.
“Pete,” Erika had called, snapping him out of his reverie.
Pete had followed her, begrudgingly. He had duties, though, as much as he wanted to continue staring at Vegas. Macau was his to watch, but he and the other Guardians were also generally responsible for life in the area.
After that, Pete made it a habit to check in on Vegas more often. He had grown into a devilishly handsome man and was hedonistic in a way that Pete quickly became obsessed with. Pete watched him eat, he watched him torture and kill, he watched him fuck the young men that Kinn discarded when he was done with them, though this Pete did not enjoy to watch as much as the other moments. Something unpleasant twisted in him, seeing Vegas share the company of another man.
Rather, Pete especially liked to watch Vegas lounge in a hot bath, the steam rising around his flushed skin. Vegas looked fully relaxed, then. Pete would sit close to the edge of the copper tub, running his hands through the flower petals that floated around Vegas’s limbs and torso. Some days, Pete would take it a step further, running his fingers along Vegas’s skin, closing his eyes to try his hardest to feel . It never worked, though. There was just nothing.
Vegas would reach for his glass of wine with a soft groan, and Pete would listen as he mumbled something to himself. It was often about his brother, or about something that had irritated him in the latest meeting with his cousin.
At sunset, Pete stood next to Erika again.
“Where was I before I came here?” he asked.
Erika gave him a gentle look. “None of us knows the answer, as you well know. One day you were not here, then one day you were.”
Pete sighed. “Yes, but what do I do next?”
“You keep your charge safe. You will know when it is his time. Then, you will receive a new charge. You will exist until you are no longer useful.”
Pete understood. He couldn’t explain it, but whenever a living being passed that needed him, he could feel the pull in his chest. He knew where to go in an instant.
The Guardians began to blink away from the edge of the cliff, but Pete and Erika continued on foot together to keep talking.
“Pete, you still spend an abnormal amount of time with that human.”
“Macau?”
Erika pursed her lips. She always knew when Pete was being purposefully dense.
“You know I mean his brother.”
“He’s…” Pete waved a hand in the air, trying to conjure the right words suited to capture Vegas’s essence. Giving up, Pete simply said, “He intrigues me.”
“You play a dangerous game. You’re not a mortal. You are getting attached, and you know he could very well die in the next battle.”
Pete knew. He did. He didn’t need to be reminded.
“Don’t…” he began carefully, “Don’t other Guardians feel like this?”
“Like what?” Erika asked kindly, tilting her head in Pete’s direction. She had always taken special interest in Pete, and he was always grateful for her advice and company. He could confide in her.
With a forceful exhale, Pete’s hands flapped in front of him as he tried to explain. “Like…like I can’t get away from him. Like I just want to watch him, all the time, and more than that, I want him to see me. I want him to know I’m there. I hear Kim write love songs, and sometimes, the words feel…right. Can…can Guardians fall in love?”
Erika pursed her lips together. With a grimace, she turned her gaze to the field and said, “It’s not common, but not unheard of. I, myself, once knew a human I was quite… intrigued by, as you put it. She worked in the kitchens of the castle long ago. But I used to watch her. She was quiet and had a gentle smile. She was…she was kind.”
A subdued smile lit her face as her eyes lost focus.
“What happened to her?” Pete asked, his voice low, knowing the answer.
“She died. Typhoid. I was at least with her at the end, and that was something.”
“Does it always end badly? I know human life has a limit, but isn’t there some joy to be had in it?”
Erika sighed. “Some humans are like candles burning at both ends, Pete. Their flame is bright, and flickers enthrallingly, but they do not last long. For some people, that is enough. But not all humans are like that. There have been Guardians who have found true happiness with a human. And perhaps that is our true purpose, to love them, even if they do not know it. But I know of one in the castle who is loved, and who knows it.”
That night, Pete hovered around the Great Hall, watching the people drink and laugh. Well, he meant to watch the people. Instead, he focused rather a lot on Vegas. Vegas didn’t throw his head back and laugh like the others, he saved that behavior for Macau’s company only, but he did drink as his keen eyes watched someone from across the room.
Pete followed his gaze and found Porsche. He was from the village and the elder brother of the young boy Kim was enamored with, Chay. Porsche had recently started working in the castle to support his brother better, and his charming face had caught Kinn’s eye. As it seemed, that fact had already caught Vegas’s attention.
Pete sighed. They seemed to be focused on little else during peaceful times. Still, Pete preferred it to the violence.
Every time they battled, he kept his eyes on Vegas, ready to step in and doing something he was not allowed to do. He kept his meddling minute, perhaps pushing Vegas’s arms a little to the side of an incoming sword, or knocking over a scroll with information about his enemy’s battle strategies to remind him. Pete was not meant to interfere with the cycle of life, but he didn’t know what would happen if he did. Would he be punished? He did not feel pain. Would he disappear? The worst thing he could fathom was Macau and Vegas being taken from him.
“Not one for parties?” A voice called beside him.
Pete ignored it for a moment, certain they could not be speaking to him.
“Hello? I know you can hear me, Guardian.”
That had Pete’s head turning to see the tall valet who followed Khun around looking almost directly at him.
“You can see me?” Pete asked so that he could be heard, twisting to look around the room. No one else paid him any attention.
“Come this way,” Pol, Pete remembered, whispered excitedly as his eyes went wide.
Sparing one last glance at Vegas, Pete followed Pol out of the noisy hall and down several corridors.
When they were tucked away, Pol smiled broadly. “I’ve been wanting to speak to you, but I didn’t want to do it in front of Khun. Can you…Can you show yourself? Unless I really am talking to myself…”
Pete realized that Pol was basically looking through him.
With a deep breath, Pete let himself be seen. “How did you know I was there?”
“Wow,” Pol exclaimed, stepping back to take in Pete’s full form. He was almost a full head shorter than Pol, so the man had to bend a little. “I’d recognize those black tunics anywhere.”
Pete tilted his head to the side.
“I used to be one of you,” Pol explained, smiling again. “I used to be Khun’s Guardian.”