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Crushing. Fingers around his throat, hard and unmoving no matter how he clawed at the hand attached to them. He was pinned to the wall, unable to talk or breathe or escape. Violet fire blinded him, framing the bleached skull and the wrathful blazing eyes. Terror kept him just as thoroughly helpless as the ghost's grip, but amid the icy fear was a heady mix of relief and rapt wonder – something strangely, absurdly close to joy.
Tears turned his vision into a pink and purple blur until he blinked them away, and he let go of the hand holding him, reached forward, and brushed his fingers wonderingly against the ghost's face.
“L-Lewis-?” It was the sob that choked off his words, and not the crushing hand. He knew that because that was when the phantom released him, pulling away as if it had been burned, as if a ghost that wielded flames could ever be burned.
“Arthur, get up!”
Vivi's voice dragged him out of the memory and back to the present. He'd hit the ground hard enough to get the wind knocked out of him, but slowly his breath was coming back. The memories dredged up by the feeling of empty lungs faded to the back of his mind.
Everything hurt, his ears most of all. Fiery explosions and a total lack of noise protection tended to do that. But he'd lost count of how many times he'd been knocked off his feet since arriving, and the various bumps and bruises were making themselves known. Gritting his teeth, Arthur forced himself upright and shook his head until his vision cleared.
“Only a ghost town,” Vivi had said. “It's probably nothing, maybe a couple of restless spirits at worst. Nothing too complicated.” Her eyes had flickered to the sides then, checking to make sure that their conversation was as private as she'd wanted it to be. “I just want us to... get a feel for each other again.” See if this really can work out, she hadn't said.
(If Lewis had been eavesdropping, he'd kept quiet about it.)
It hadn't turned out to be much of a ghost town, especially now when the town was basically gone. What had started as minor supernatural disturbances, as a road trip “for old time's sake” and a well-meaning attempt to ease tension, had quickly escalated to... this. An abandoned and now leveled sprawl of derelict buildings, a rampaging monster, and fire. Lots and lots of fire.
Arthur was as good as useless for this, and he knew it. The best he could do was try to stay out of Lewis and Mystery's way while they kept the thing from slaughtering him or Vivi (mostly Vivi, said a little voice in the back of his head). As far as he could tell, the creature that had only recently awakened from a decades-long slumber beneath the earth of the abandoned town was some kind of dog in the same way that Mystery was some kind of dog – namely, it really wasn't when you got down to it. The thing had two heads, was the size of your average woolly mammoth, and was absolutely bristling with snakes.
(A cerberus, Mystery had called it. Wasn't there only supposed to be one Cerberus? Arthur had asked. Well yes, technically, Mystery had said, but it's a giant demonic dog from the Underworld and it has more than one head and there are snakes attached to it, so no matter what I say, you're going to look at it and think Cerberus, so we might as well just call it that.)
With a roar and a heave, the cerberus lunged. Lewis's flames roared upward, and Arthur spotted sunlight glinting off a flask of holy water as it arced through the air from Vivi's outstretched hand. Flames and water both burned as they struck, and the creature roared.
Amid the fear, the sight brought him a whiff of nostalgia. Vivi had, in a weird way, sort of been right – it was bringing him back to old times. Vivi always did have the best aim. The flames are new, though. Lewis liked that shotgun we loaded with rock salt pellets, didn't he. Back when we all thought Mystery was just a dog and ghosts were fun times and we were invincible, and Vivi knew she loved Lewis and I knew she loved Lewis and it took forever for Lewis to find out that he was the only one who didn't know she loved him and then suddenly I was the only one that had a secret anymore.
He wondered how effective the threat of death and destruction was as a bonding exercise, if facing down a giant hellhound would make Lewis stop hating him which would make Vivi stop fretting over Lewis hating him.
His stomach heaved dangerously when the cerberus's teeth snapped shut where Lewis had been standing mere seconds before. He bit back the warning that hovered on the tip of his tongue – literally bit his lip to keep from crying out, until it stung and he tasted blood – and cast about for the van. There were supplies there – extra holy water, those rock-salt guns that Lewis had favored back when he was flesh and blood – and even if Arthur couldn't use them, he could hand them off to Vivi. He was useless just standing here; Lewis didn't need him to shout warnings, and probably wouldn't thank him for trying. For all Arthur knew, the ghost might even ignore him out of spite.
Another crash amid the crackle of fire made him look back again, his chest tightening as his friends (in spite of everything, his mind would never call them anything other than his friends, plural, meaning all of them) fought. Vivi was small and Mystery was holding back to keep his excess kitsune power from attracting even bigger nasties, which left Lewis to do all the heavy lifting. It made Arthur's stomach turn. Lewis needed help and he wasn't getting it, and he probably wouldn't accept it if it came from Arthur, and wasn't that one of the main problems that this trip was supposed to fix?
(“Well maybe we just need to beat up some evil ghosts,” Vivi had growled over a road map. “I'm willing to try anything to let Lewis work off some steam so you two can stop resenting each other already.”
“I don't resent him,” Arthur had protested quietly.
“Well you might want to tell him that, because he sure seems to think you do.”
It wasn't Lewis's fault for thinking that. Most demons needed some kind of handhold to force a possession so quickly, and resentment and jealousy were oh-so-popular. Lewis thought that and Arthur didn't correct him because correcting him meant admitting the real reason.)
Vivi cried out, and the cerberus reared back, and moments later Mystery went hurtling into the remnants of a gas station. Arthur hoped the gas pumps were shut off, and ran like hell to dodge flying rubble. In his panic, his steps took him closer to the others, until he was dodging purple flames as well.
Maybe it was a good thing he did, and maybe it wasn't. Vivi was distracted, looking back to see if Mystery was all right, and a swipe of its paw knocked her back. She rolled with the impact, sliding to a halt with a dazed groan. Arthur was still too far off to do her any good when the beast lunged for her, one set of jaws opening wide.
Arthur was halfway there when magenta flames blossomed between the cerberus and Vivi's crumpled body. Lewis had flung himself in front of her. His form was wreathed in fire as the hellhound's momentum carried it forward and its fangs snapped shut around him.
Arthur screamed until his throat felt scraped raw.
The cerberus reared back, howling shrilly, and the stink of burned meat wafted from its mouth. Lewis's form wavered, his flames sputtered, and he vanished like a mirage moments before Arthur reached them.
A high, keening noise reached his ears as he stumbled to Vivi's side, and he recognized her voice. She was conscious, staring wide-eyed and blankly at the spot where Lewis had been standing. A flash of gold faded to blue, and something small and heart-shaped clattered to the ground. A wisp of purple light, like glowing mist, hovered around the object before disappearing inside.
The locket.
A snarl of rage forced his attention upward. The uninjured head was glaring down at the tiny object, its fangs bared to the gums as its bristling mane of snakes thrashed and hissed. It charged again, and one of its paws rose as if ready to crush the locket underfoot.
Thoughts ran through Arthur's head, a simple sequence of if-then logic.
If it's from the Underworld then it knows about how the dead work. If it knows how the dead work then it knows what Lewis is. If it knows what Lewis is and it knows that Lewis is the strongest of us, then it wants to take him out completely first. If it's still trying to take him out then that means he's not gone yet.
He wasn't sure if he could call it courage when he lunged forward and grabbed the locket out from under the beast's claws. There was no decision, no overcoming of fear. There was simply a desperate need to act, and the fulfillment of the need with little or no command from his brain. Arthur snatched up the locket and scrambled backward just as the claws came down. White-hot pain seared his head where the tip of a claw grazed him, and blood trickled hot and wet down his face, but he flung himself out of the creature's immediate reach with the locket clutched protectively to his chest.
“I've got him,” he heard himself say, as if his own voice was far away. “I've got him, Vivi we gotta...” Telling her was redundant, and his voice trailed off as he returned to Vivi's side and helped her drag herself up off the ground. She met his eyes for a second, dazed and half-conscious, and he readily focused on her rather than the roaring and hissing behind him.
Another growl rang out, followed by a raspy, high-pitched howl. Mystery cannoned into the creature with all seven tails flying out like banners. The cerberus was bigger, but Mystery's eyes blazed with fury, and Arthur took the chance to drag himself and Vivi away. They leaned on each other, supporting each other.
They made it to one of the few buildings left standing, and Arthur didn't stop until it was between them and the furiously battling demon dogs. His legs gave out beneath him, his breath rasped in and out, and it was all he could do to keep from keeling over and passing out. Vivi slumped down beside him, still dazed and exhausted.
Head wounds bled like crazy, and Arthur had lost enough to make him dizzy, so he slid down into a sitting position with his back propped against the wall. He listed to the side, and might have slid to the ground if Vivi hadn't been beside him. They leaned on each other, keeping one another upright, as Mystery held off the cerberus to give them time.
Maybe Mystery could beat that thing by himself, and maybe he couldn't. Arthur wasn't willing to take that chance, and he doubted Vivi was either.
There was blood running down the side of his face and his ears were ringing, but he forced back the dizziness and focused on the locket.
It was still warm to the touch, still pulsing faintly if he really felt for it, but it had faded to cold blue and the cerberus's rough handling had cracked it. Just looking at it, Arthur fought back the sudden urge to cry. Not again. Not again.
“V-vivi.” He found her hand and pressed the locket into it until she curled her fingers around it it. “Vivi, we need him but – but his heart's broken, and, and if anyone can fix it it's you.”
“Lewis...” She forced herself to sit forward, running her shaking hands over Lewis's locket. “Lewis, I'm sorry... I'm sorry...” Her shoulders trembled, and her voice wobbled with the threat of tears. “Arthur, this is my fault, we never should've come, w-we never... I did it again, Arthur, and I don't...” Her eyes fell upon him again, desperate and unfocused. Arthur stared back helplessly.
I don't know what to do.
A crash. A dog's yelp of pain. They couldn't be sure whose it was.
It was on an impulse that Arthur reached over and rested his flesh-and-blood hand over Vivi's, over the locket, fingers curling around the warmth of Lewis's soul. He looked at Vivi's battered, desperate face, then down at the locket in their hands, and broke. Tears came flooding out without any warning, without even the aching pressure in his throat to tell him they were coming. Vivi's free arm wrapped around his shoulders, and he leaned against her as the floodgates broke.
“I wasn't jealous.” And with those three words out, he couldn't stop the rest. He hunched over, speaking half to Vivi and half to the soul beneath his hand. He couldn't know if Lewis could hear him, but so far silence had gotten him nowhere just like it had gotten Mystery nowhere. “Oh God, I wasn't jealous, that wasn't it. That wasn't what it used to get in because I didn't resent you, I never resented you because how could I? I-” His voice caught in his throat, and his vision blurred with tears. “I loved you. I loved both of you, and I don't mean – do you understand? I was in love with you, both of you, I always was, and h-how stupid and pathetic and greedy is that, right?” He felt Vivi tense against him but he was beyond caring. “But I didn't say anything, and then you were already together and you were already perfect and there just wasn't room for me in that, and what – what kind of shitty friend would I be if I threatened that? I-if I barged into something so good and perfect just because of my stupid feelings, just because I felt left out when what I should've been feeling was happy for you and that's why it got in, Lewis, that's how I let it in and let it kill you, because I was too busy wanting what I couldn't have to get a grip and be happy with what I already did, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry Lewis, I'm sorry Vivi, I'm so sorry but we need you. Please.” He gripped the locket until his knuckles turned white. “Please, Lewis, I just found you and I don't care if you're still mad. I can't lose you again. I can't-”
The building they were hiding behind rocked. Wood cracked and splintered above them as the hellhound charged straight through it to get to them, tearing through as if it were made of paper.
Vivi's arm tightened around him and she shoved him to the ground beneath her, shielding him as best she could, while splintered wood rained around them. They huddled together on the ground, arms shielding their heads, and missed the way the locket in their hands glowed.
Arthur heard Vivi's sharp intake of breath, felt her sit up and pull him along with her. She was crying, he could tell from the way she shook against him, and he finally opened his eyes to find himself huddled in her lap, curled protectively around the locket that now pulsed and shone gold. He lifted his head, and there was Lewis standing over them, watching him silently.
Had he heard all that? A skeleton's face was hard to read, and in the end it didn't really matter anyway.
He lifted the locket up and offered it. The strength left his arm the moment Lewis took it from his hand. Arthur's vision turned from bleached bone to magenta fire to two snarling heads and seven waving tails, until finally darkening to merciful black.
“You were my best friend, and I trusted you,” was the first thing he heard when he woke up safe with a mattress beneath him and gauze on his head.
Coming from Lewis, it should have sounded like an accusation, but it didn't. Arthur blinked blearily, coming more into himself as he gradually took in the hotel room around him and the sight of Lewis before him, looking for all the world like he did when he was alive, the only difference being blackness in his eyes where there should have been white.
His throat was bone-dry, but Lewis helped him sit up and sip water from a cup. That came as a surprise, but not an unpleasant one. Arthur let him, too tired and resigned to be bashful. He didn't ask where Vivi or Mystery were. He didn't say anything at all.
“They're all right,” Lewis said, answering the question he hadn't asked. “We banished it – the creature. Well, Mystery did. He's... off. Laying false trails, in case the light show attracted any attention. Vivi's out getting food.”
Arthur nodded, kneading the mattress beneath him. He wasn't ready to speak, and even if he had been, he had no idea what to say. Everything he'd ever wanted to say had already come spilling out.
Lewis watched him a moment longer. Hesitantly, as if he wasn't sure he was allowed, Lewis lowered himself down to sit beside him again. “Arthur,” he began, then pursed his lips as if he wasn't sure how to proceed. “You were my best friend, and I trusted you,” he repeated. “And yet I – not even once. Not once did I ever question it. I never stopped to wonder – why you would do something like that. I never stopped to think that maybe – maybe there was more to it than what I thought I saw. That maybe I didn't have all... all the facts. Th-that maybe the reason why I never thought you'd ever hurt me is that you never would.”
He fell silent, and Arthur watched him wordlessly, mind blank.
“That was a demon,” Lewis went on finally. “A demon took over a part of you, and forced you to-” He broke off. “Whatever you were feeling at the time, there wasn't anything you could've done.” He met Arthur's eyes briefly, then looked away. “You know that. I know that. I've known since I found out the truth, but I still punished you for it because being angry is easier than being wrong. If anyone's feelings are stupid and selfish, it's mine.”
And there it was: confirmation. Lewis had heard. Arthur felt his heart twist, but even the feeling was hollow, as if it was a reflex rather than an actual emotion.
“You don't have anything to be sorry for,” Lewis told him. “I do. I have everything to be sorry for, and it shouldn't have taken so much to drag that out of me. You-” His throat bobbed, and his cheekbone moved as he clenched his teeth. “You deserved better from me. I hurt you more than you ever hurt me.”
Arthur found his voice then. “I killed-”
“You didn't. Something else did, and you were just...” Lewis met his eyes again. “You've never hurt me, Arthur. Ever.”
He didn't have an answer for that, even though he searched his brain for one. So he simply nodded. They sat in silence for a few moments longer, and Arthur tried to take comfort in the fact that Lewis seemed just as unsure about how to move forward as he was.
The silence finally got to him, and Arthur cleared his throat. “Look, um. About that stuff I said. Before. W-when you were in the, um. Is it cool with you if we just... forget that happened? Forget I said anything, it's not – I mean...”
“It's fine,” Lewis assured him, avoiding his eyes. “Not like I can really blame you.”
“For what?”
Lewis winced. “After everything that's happened, everything that – that I put you through, it's not surprising that you don't feel – well, anyway.”
That wasn't what he meant. “Honestly I'm just happy you're back,” Arthur blurted. Lewis looked at him, surprised, and Arthur wrung his hands in his lap. “We told you before, we lost our memories. Vivi more than me. I still remembered you, at least, I just... I didn't remember the cave. So I didn't know... not... not to look for you.” Now he felt the tightness in his throat, the burning pressure behind his eyes, and he blinked rapidly in an attempt to ward it off. “I-I don't know if I would've felt, uh, better? I-if I'd known, but. At least I would've known, you know? You being dead, that would've been something, right? Maybe I could deal with that, or move on from that. But not knowing was just – what was I supposed to do with that?” His vision blurred, and he blinked it away. “A-and now you're back, and there's so much I can just... not care about. Because you're back, and... that's all I need. Everything else is just...” He shrugged. “Is that dumb? Because everything's so messed up, and part of me just... doesn't even care. I just want to be with – with my friends.”
Lewis didn't answer immediately. He just sat and searched Arthur's face, like he'd caught Arthur's last-minute change of wording. Embarrassed, Arthur pretended to focus on his prosthetic and check it for damage.
The door opened, and Vivi came in with a couple of plastic bags. Upon seeing Arthur, she plunked them down on the table, kicked the door shut behind her, and bounded across the room. “Arthur!” Before he had the chance to react, she had launched herself from the other side of the bed and seized him in a tight hug. “Oh my gosh you're awake Arthur and what the heck do you think you're playing at?”
“Um?” Arthur managed to squeak, but she was already pushing herself back to arm's length and glaring at him with unusually shiny eyes.
“Really, Arthur? Stupid and pathetic and greedy? You know, if I caught anybody talking about you like that they'd get a heartfelt kick in the pants, so what makes you think you get to talk about yourself like that?” Without stopping for a breath, she ranted on. “And really? 'No room for you'? What's that supposed to mean?”
“I don't know what's happening please stop yelling at me,” Arthur said faintly.
She sobered immediately and pulled back further. “Oh! Sorry Arthur, I should've known better, you just woke up and here I am scolding you. Are you all right? How're you feeling?”
“I think...” Arthur blinked at her, then looked at Lewis, then back at Vivi. He thought about where he had been before this, and compared it to where he was now. “I'm okay. I think, whatever happens, I'm... I'm okay.”
Vivi's face broke into a smile, and for a split second it was like staring at the sun.
“For what it's worth,” Lewis said finally. “I mean, I've been a pretty terrible friend and there are a lot of things I did, to you, that I wish I could erase. But this? I mean, us being here again, as a team? That's a good thing. It will always be a good thing.” He paused, laughing quietly. “It's funny, even after we spent all that time chasing ghosts, I-I never really knew for sure where I'd end up, after I died, but... I'm just so glad it's here.”
Arthur's chest felt tight all of a sudden, as if it wasn't quite big enough to hold everything he was feeling. He swallowed hard, blinking rapidly again, and missed the meaningful look that passed between his two friends.
“And Arthur...” Lewis went on. “You should know that – it's not the same if you aren't here too. There's no team if you're not in it.”
“Jesus, you're just-” Blinking wasn't going to cut it anymore. He was tearing up and that was all there was to it. As quickly as he could he wiped his eyes, but that only made it worse. “Okay. Um. Sorry, I just – what?”
His vision had gone blurry, but he heard the laughter in Vivi's voice as she spoke. “He's saying we love you too, Artie. When did you ever get the idea that there wasn't room for you?”
“Uhm?” was all Arthur could manage, between trying not to cry and trying to comprehend the words coming out of Vivi's mouth. It was official; he had lost control of his life. “Okay, wow. I... wow.” A giddy laugh bubbled up out of his mouth. “Wow.”
A cool hand steadied his head, and Lewis's kiss felt like the shock of cold wind and the spark in the air before a rainstorm. It was a strange, heady feeling, and one that Arthur could definitely get used to.
But not yet. The kiss broke when a gleeful Vivi tackled them both into the mattress to steal a few of her own.