Chapter Text
“Shit.” Virgil grabbed the blankets surrounding him, trying to cover himself as he reached for his discarded hoodie on the floor. One would think a hoodie with glow in the dark patterns would be easier to find in almost complete darkness. He knew that My Chemical Romance song all too well, it was the tone Virgil assigned to his father's contact.
“He must already be here to pick me up.” Virgil wasn't quick enough to retrieve his phone before the call stopped. He unlocked it and sent a quick text to his dad, telling him to wait some more minutes.
Virgil made up some excuse like having to say goodbye to his friends or making a quick stop in the bathroom, something he wouldn't remember until he eventually re-read his text. His dad couldn't know the real reason for taking so long to get out of the party.
A groan could be heard as Virgil moved. There was his real reason. Roman Alejandro Flores, currently lay naked right next to him.
How had this even happened? Virgil could have never been able to pull the captain of the swimming team and local theater star on his own. So, Roman had to be at least a little drunk, clearly more than him who only had a shot or two. But, not only did Virgil somehow convince him to make out with him, it all escalated rather quickly when they found themselves in Roman's room.
Virgil looked over at his jeans and boxers, tossed away at the other end of the room. God, he really did this, didn't he? Not only had Roman taken an interest in him, Virgil had sex with him.
Yeah, he could panic about that at home.
Virgil stood up, trying to stretch his shirt long enough to cover his crotch. He could almost laugh, covering himself as if Roman hadn't seen him half naked already. Whatever, Virgil was still determined to keep whatever dignity he had left.
Roman sat up, squinting to try and find his own shirt between the pile of clothes on the floor. “Leaving so soon?” He asked, yawning mid question.
“We spent like an hour cuddling, Roman,” Virgil grabbed his clothes and started dressing himself. “I'm pretty sure you fell asleep twenty minutes ago.”
Roman made a semi-offended gasp as he stepped out of bed. “Well, I did most of the job anyway, pillow prince.”
Virgil rolled his eyes, as if Roman could see his annoyed expression. "My dad is already here to pick me up, I can't stay any longer."
Virgil finished getting dressed and turned around to look at Roman, only to immediately cover his eyes as he realized the other was still naked. This was ridiculous. You two had sex, Virgil! What are you so ashamed about?
Roman wasn't facing Virgil, too busy focusing on putting his prince costume back on without messing up his hair any further. Virgil tugged on his own shirt nervously. He was so thankful Roman didn't force him to take it off, nor his binder. Virgil was already ashamed enough of this situation. Roman seeing his breasts would have made it way worse. "I guess I'll uh, see you at school then?"
Roman froze midway, pulling his pants on, turning to look at Virgil. "Yeah, uh, about that Virge, I think we should... keep this between us."
And there it was, of course. How could Virgil have been so stupid? This was a one-night thing, Roman giving in to what he had at such short notice. It was obvious he didn't care about Virgil.
"Ah, right. Wouldn't want anyone to know Roman Flores settled for a trans guy."
"Wha—no! Virgil, it's not that!" Roman, now decently dressed but not as accessorized as he was before, walked closer to Virgil. "I don't care if you're trans, I would never see you as any less of a man. You know how everyone at school is. I don't want gossip going around or—"
"Oh so it's just me then?" Virgil interrupted, looking up at the taller guy as he got closer. "You're just ashamed of your one-night stand with the emo loser."
"Virgil—"
"Save it, Roman." Virgil gathered the rest of his stuff, "if it was such a mistake, then fine, we won't have to talk about this ever again."
And with that, Virgil left the room, not giving Roman a chance to say anything else to try and defend himself.
Virgil leaned against the bedroom door with a sigh. Don't cry, Virgil, not here. He should have seen it coming, he should have known. Roman had one too many drinks, was horny, and Virgil was the only one around stupid enough to fall for his games. At least the skeleton mask that completed his costume would hide Virgil's watery eyes.
Well, if it didn't matter to Roman, it wouldn't matter to Virgil either.
And Virgil was willing to keep it that way, he really did, but his body had other opinions on the matter.
Virgil bounced his leg, glancing between the clock on the wall and the digital calendar he had checked far too many times this week. He was late. His period was late.
Virgil wasn't even on testosterone yet! He had only socially transitioned. His period shouldn't be altered at all. He was on birth control... okay maybe he forgot to take a pill or two, but Roman wore a condom! There was no way... right?
The bell rang, loud enough to snap Virgil out of his thoughts and allow him to grab his backpack. Whatever this was, if he was- if there was a- if something was... happening with his body, Roman had to know. Virgil wouldn't be able to do this alone, and it took two to tango, so he was giving Roman his fair part of the blame.
All the courage Virgil managed to collect disappeared from his body as soon as he saw Roman.
Usually, Virgil would be starstruck at the sight. Roman’s perfect smile showing as he laughed with his friends. Pearly white teeth that contrasted with the taller guy's tan skin. His dark curls bouncing around with every chuckle. The way Virgil could almost see the joy radiating through Roman’s eyes. Damn, this guy broke his heart and Virgil wasn't any less charmed by him.
But that didn't mean he wasn't mad at Roman. It was infuriating how such simple features could make Virgil feel so giddy and flustered, even with the horrible attitude behind them. It made Virgil sick... or maybe it was the nausea he had been experiencing all day.
Whatever, time to drop the penny, Virgil. There was definitely no way out of this until he had a clear answer.
With one last deep breath, Virgil finally managed to walk closer to Roman, deciding to ignore the large group of jocks and theater kids gathered around him. Roman didn’t even seem to notice Virgil approaching, or didn’t care to look if he did.
Virgil fidgeted with the sleeve of his hoodie nervously. They hadn't even looked at each other since that day! Jeez, it had been what, a month? Yeah, Virgil didn't want to think about time with the possibility of... was it too late to flee and forget about this lame attempt at social interaction?
“...Roman?” Virgil managed to say, calling out for the popular guy's attention. He instantly regretted how unsure that sounded, how quiet his voice was. “Can we uh, talk?” Virgil glanced at the people around them, who had all stopped talking with Virgil's intervention. That only made him more anxious. He felt like a little kid expected to perform for family friends or something! Virgil definitely didn't want any public for this. “Alone, please.”
Roman blinked a couple of times. Virgil had been ignoring him after the party and suddenly wanted to just... talk? Out of nowhere?
One of his friends started chuckling, and Roman glared at him. The rest seemed to get the hint and one by one started to leave to mind their own business. Roman grabbed his script from his locker before closing it. “Is everything alright?”
Virgil let out a relieved sigh as they were left alone. Without giving himself more time to think about it, Virgil grabbed Roman’s hand and dragged him out of the building, towards the back of the school.
“Wha—Hey! Wait up fast and anxious! I have to get to rehearsal soon!” Roman complained, but still followed Virgil to wherever he was being taken to.
Virgil rushed hand in hand with Roman to stand by the dumpsters. Probably not the best idea considering the smell could make his nausea stronger, but they needed a private place for this. Virgil needed a private place for this.
Roman snatched his hand back as soon as Virgil stopped walking. “Can you tell me what's going on already? Seriously, what matter would you want to discuss next to piles of trash of all places.” He took off his backpack, opening it to leave the script inside, “you need to stop hanging out with my brother so-”
“We have a problem, Roman” Virgil interrupted. He couldn't allow Roman to start rambling now! Virgil had to make use of any little speck of initiative he still had while he had it.
Roman huffed, crossing his arms. “We? There hasn't been a ‘we’ since Halloween, and now you come up and-”
“Shh, zip it, princey.” Virgil closed his hand in front of Roman, as if he was actually closing the other's mouth. “First of all; a ‘we’ not existing, it's only your fault, okay? Let's get that out of the way. And second, just let me talk. Please, Roman, I'm not going to be able to do this if you keep talking.”
Roman eyed Virgil up and down with an unamused expression, as if he could guess what the emo was about to say. He sighed and gestured between them with his hand. “The floor is yours.”
Virgil took another deep breath and nodded. "So, the thing is..." Oh shit, the whole monologue Virgil had already planned in his mind was already all burred out, and he was not good at making things on the spot. "...I'm late." Great, awesome work Virgil. That definitely made everything clear for Roman.
Roman stood silent for a moment, raising an eyebrow at Virgil. "Late... for what?" Roman flinched at his own words. "Sorry, no talking. Keep going."
"Ugh, why is this so hard to say?" Virgil mumbled, mostly to himself. "I mean my period. My period is late."
Roman didn't want to show any kind of disgust, but his face still scrunched up at the topic. He took Virgil's silence as permission to speak. "And you felt like I needed to know this because..?"
Virgil rolled his eyes in annoyance. Could someone really be this dense? "Because I think I might be pregnant, Roman!" Virgil nervously looked around as he raised his voice, making sure there was no one else listening. There, done, ripped the band-aid off.
All the color was drained from Roman's face as the information suddenly clicked in his brain. "You might... Oh God." He ran a hand through his hair, hoping that would snap him back to reality. "And is it-? Them-? You think it's mine?"
"Oh, I am sure it's yours." The shorter guy looked down, stuffing his hands in his hoodie's pockets. "It's not like I've... done it with anyone else. After or-" Virgil hesitated for a moment before continuing, "-even before you."
"Oh."
Oh? Was that everything Roman had to say? Oh, Virgil could almost feel the look the other was giving him. He didn't need to look up to know. Roman was pitying him, and surely regretting his choices. Why wouldn't he? Roman had been lucky enough to A: fuck the only guy in the school who could actually get pregnant, B: had their condom most likely breaking and getting said guy pregnant, and basically impregnated a fucking virgin! Of course, Roman wouldn't say anything else but 'Oh.'
Deciding that he had had enough of the silence, Virgil finally looked up to meet Roman's gaze.
And his look was anything but pitiful. In fact, Virgil couldn't quite tell what Roman was feeling. He had a clear shocked and puzzled expression, but there was also this... joy? Maybe hopeful? Spark in his eyes.
Virgil didn't have any time to react before Roman grabbed his hand and dragged him to the parking lot.
Unlike Roman before, Virgil did struggle, or at least tried to. "W-wait! Where are we even going? You're not going to say anything? This is a big deal, Roman!"
"We're getting you a pregnancy test."
"Wha-"
"We can't be sure otherwise," Roman glanced back at him, but didn't stop rushing through the building. "I don't know much about periods and all that bloody jazz, but some of my friends have had pregnancy scares, and then they turned out to be nothing. They just randomly decide not to show up sometimes or something like that, right?"
Virgil sighed, letting himself be guided to Roman's car. His period in particular had always been on time, much to Virgil's dismay. He'd heard stories of perfectly healthy people who only had their period every couple of months or only bled one day a month, but of course that couldn't be him. But Roman didn't need to know that, "right, it sometimes happens."
Roman only let go of Virgil when they were right next to his small red car, reaching for his backpack to look for the keys.
Virgil caught a glimpse of the previously stored script. "Didn't you say you had rehearsals today?"
"This is way more important. They can deal without the ghost of Christmas present for a day, it's not like I don't know my lines already." Roman unlocked his car, opening the passenger door for Virgil.
Virgil couldn't help but blush at such a simple action. "If you're sure." It's not like he wanted to complain, Virgil was already trying to figure out a way to sneak out to a pharmacy so he could know for sure. If Roman wanted to make it easier for him, Virgil wouldn't stop him.
Once Virgil was in the car, Roman closed the door behind him and walked around to get to the driver's seat. The entire drive to the nearest pharmacy was completely silent, except for the faint music playing on the radio.
Should Virgil say something to ease the tension? Waiting for Roman to react was killing him! He had already spilled out the beans, there was nothing else to say! Roman was right, this could be nothing. There could be no baby and Virgil and Roman would go back to their separate lives and forget this ever happened.
But if it was something? What were they going to do if Virgil was actually pregnant?
Being left alone in the car was not helping with Virgil's panic. Roman had insisted on getting in to buy the test himself, which was a relief because Virgil wouldn't have been able to handle that right now.
Virgil was brought back to reality as the car's door slammed shut.
"Alright, I bought three different brands, one of each so we can be sure." Roman handed the plastic bag to Virgil. "My parents work late today and Remus has band rehearsal, so my house is empty. Or would you prefer we go to your house?"
Virgil looked into the bag, thinking about how Roman had to pay for three pregnancy tests. It seemed a bit excessive, but Virgil had heard about false negatives before, so perhaps it was for the best. He looked up at Roman, "definitely not my house. My dad works from home, and I'm not going through breaking the news twice today. I'll tell him if, you know, but I really want some privacy now."
Roman nodded. "My house it is."
And now here he was, peeing in a cup, in Roman's bathroom. Virgil glanced over at the shower trying to distract himself, wondering why Roman needed so many products anyway. This was so weird. Virgil was expecting to just wake up at some point and find a red stain on his sheets. Another round of nausea hit him, almost as if his body wanted to reiterate this was real.
Virgil walked out of the bathroom, pee cup in hand. The three tests were already in and there was a timer running on Virgil's phone.
Roman looked up from where he was sitting on his bed, but continued petting his dog, Zero, who was laying behind him. "I thought you were going to wait in there."
"I was." Virgil sat next to him, hesitantly leaving the cup on Roman's nightstand. "Turns out I didn't want to be alone after all."
Virgil only noticed how much he was shaking when Roman's hand was placed on top of his. "What... what would you want to do? If it's positive? If you are pregnant?"
Virgil sighed, guess this conversation was happening now. "I-I... I don't know? I mean, a baby is going to do wonders with my dysphoria, that's for sure. And I don't feel like driving I don't know how many towns over to get... an abortion or something." Virgil slid down from Roman's bed, curling up on the floor without letting go of his hand.
"I know I have some options, and I wouldn't have to have this hypothetical baby... it just... doesn't feel right to me." Virgil stayed silent for a moment, and then chuckled to himself. “You’re gonna think I’m crazy, but... I’ve been like... imagining it? Me with a baby.” Virgil looked at the ceiling as he spoke, trying to avoid Roman’s gaze. “Even... us, with a baby.”
“I mean, we don’t even know if I’m-” Virgil paused breath, as if one more word would make him start crying. “And you didn't want to have anything to do with me in the first place, and now there might be a child involved? The least I want is pressure you into a situation you want no part in."
Roman let out a dry chuckle. “That doesn’t sound crazy at all,” he said as he slid down to sit closer to Virgil. “It hasn’t even been an hour since you told me and... I think I’m already picturing it too...” Roman looked fondly at Virgil and wrapped an arm around him. "Virge... I am really sorry about what I said that night. There are just these... constant expectations about me. Be a strong and capable leader for the swim team; be a great cast member and a perfect performer; keep your grades up; surround yourself with the right people."
"Right," despite himself, Virgil leaned into Roman's touch, sniffing another tear away. "And I'm not the right people."
"No! Ugh I-" Roman pinched the bridge of his nose, "I keep messing this up. I guess I'm trying to say that... I've been blindly believing what everyone expects from me. I mean I'm already gay, if I was going to date a guy it had to be someone at my social level or whatever. But that's not what I want, and I was, still am, so afraid of letting everyone down."
Roman looked back at Virgil, leaning back against his bed. "I know I'm lucky to be accepted and have parents who let me do whatever activities I want, but it still feels... conditional? If I'm going to do theater then I can't mess any line, or it would have been for nothing. I need to get a new trophy in every competition or else I'm a failure. I love everything that I do, but if it's not perfect, if I'm not perfect... who says everything I have is not going to go away?"
"I've always been drawn to you, Virgil."
Virgil let out a dry chuckle."Me? I'm not that interesting."
Roman shook his head. "You're not worried about being perfect, at least from my perspective. You are, well, you. I admire the way you go out and just live. I admire you, Virgil. That night we were both in the mood and I acted recklessly, reckless enough to not check the damn condom. I-I panicked!" Roman chuckled awkwardly, "There's this image of me being a heartbreaker and a Don Juan, but I had never felt anything like when we were together. I didn't want to screw it up and look at us, that's exactly what I did!"
Virgil bit his cheek, analyzing Roman and trying to find something that would tell if he was lying, making stuff up. Roman Alejandro Flores, the perfect guy. Virgil would never have guessed he was just as anxious as himself on the inside.
A lick on his cheek interrupted his thoughts. Zero had hopped down from the bed and decided Virgil deserved some affection. The teen chuckled quietly and pet the dog's head with his free hand. How could Virgil be stressed with such a cute puppy on his lap?
"We were both reckless.” He said after Zero helped his mind stop wandering. “Got caught up in the moment, I've heard it happens." Virgil shrugged, trying to sound as reassuring as possible. "I honestly thought you were just horny and settled for whoever was around."
"Goodness, Virgil, no, that couldn't be further from the truth!" Roman gave Virgil's hand a gentle squeeze. "If it makes you feel any better, you weren't the only virgin here that night."
Virgil let out a relieved sigh he didn't even know he was holding. "Yeah, that helps. You have no idea how scared I was of doing something wrong."
"Oh, tell me about it." Roman chuckled, without any awkwardness this time. "I never actually thought I would have sex with someone with a vagina. N-not that there was anything wrong with that, but I know nothing about female anatomy."
Virgil snorted, letting out a few louder chuckles himself. "I never thought I would have sex at all."
Roman nudged Virgil's arm playfully. "Nonsense! Have you looked at yourself? You're hot, hot topic. You were literally glowing that night."
"Yeah, maybe because my so-called costume glowed in the dark, dumb-ass."
"See that caught me off guard. I never thought you of all people would show up in a hoodie and a store-bought mask to a Halloween party."
Virgil tsked, rolling his eyes playfully. "In my defense, Janus dragged me to the party without proper heads up to get a decent costume. I have all these ideas but never go anywhere to actually make them."
Roman chuckled, "I would love to see them someday."
Virgil smiled, genuinely smiled, and might have blushed a little as well. "Maybe you will, if you have enough willpower to not instantly rip my costume off, again."
They both laughed, the awkwardness of the situation long gone by now. The moment was ruined, however, when the alarm on Virgil's phone went off.
The teenagers froze, looking into each other's eyes for even a little bit of courage.
Virgil reached into his pocket to take out his phone and turn off the alarm. "It's time." He looked over at the abandoned cup, and the three sticks that would determine their future.
Roman nodded. "We can do it, we're in this together, okay?" He stood up, pulling Virgil with him and making Zero jump off the emo's lap.
Virgil walked over to Roman's nightstand, picking up the test without looking at the results yet. He turned around and went to hand one to Roman, before pulling away. "I just want, no, need to know if you're going to be here or not. If there's a baby, they don't deserve to be abandoned. I need to know you're not going to walk away. If you don't want this, I'll figure it out on my own, but I need to know now."
Roman stood quiet for a moment, reaching to grab the test Virgil wanted to hand him. "This baby, if they exist, it's as much mine as it is yours. I'm going to be here with you no matter what you choose V. Pushing you away that night was the stupidest thing I've ever done, and I would never do it again, not to you." Roman walked closer, wrapping his arms around Virgil's waist, "and definitely not to them."
Virgil felt his eyes tearing up, and could have sworn he also felt the pieces of his heart fusing back together. "Alright..." He held both tests with one hand, covering the results with the other. "Ready?"
Roman let go of Virgil, copying his actions with the test he had. "As I'll ever be."
Virgil nodded. "One."
"Two," Roman followed.
They both hesitated for a second, looking at each other and nodded, their thoughts completely synced.
"Three."