Chapter Text
Once upon a time, there was a lock, a blue lock.
The lock was blue, blue like the ocean, blue like Kaiser's magnificent orbs, blue like the never-ending tears flowing down everyone's face when they smell Isagi's fart aura in the changing room after a match airing on BLTV.
Unfortunately for the blue lock fags, Ego received complaints about the members’ education levels after airing the show, receiving dox threats for child exploitation.
“OH MY GOD WILL THESE FUCKERS SHUT UP ABOUT CHILD ABUSE, THEY'RE NOT CHILDREN ANYMORE, THEY'RE TEENS YOU RETARDS-” Ego slams the desk so hard the big ass monitors in his goon cave short-circuit, the screens flickering and shooting white sparks out the corners.
“It's midnight. Why are you still reading the BLTV comments? Also, I don't think-” Anri starts.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP-”
After Anri gave up talking any sense into him, it only took a few hours with Ego being the smartypants intellectual that he was, to come up with the only logical idea–to build a school next to the blue lock facility instead of just sending them to some school that's already been built, because obviously, that would mean freedom, and we don't want that.
Technically it would be fine, except for the fact that the blue lockers were already massive ball-kicking fagatrons on the field. And now, they're gonna be hormonal pent-up teenagers locked in class with their only form of release taken away, adding to their growing homicidal urges.
“Lovely,” Ego smiled like a creep (imagine: momo), muttering to himself, “this is the best idea I've ever had.”
Anri considered calling the mental institution for another checkup.
The construction started immediately, funded purely by Ego's spite and malice. Construction only started in the dead of night when everyone was asleep, and ended in the mornings, so no one could sleep well for the rest of the month.
Smushing his head in the pillows, Chigiri bemoaned that even the non-stop sounds of Reo and Nagi doing the abracadabra shalala oohnana was more preferable.
Soon enough, the second prison was built.
With Ego threatening everyone over the national striker position, everyone (unwillingly) signed away their life again for unprompted education.
And so, with everything set, Blue Lock Institute was formed.
-timeskip-
*BALL LICKERS*
Hiori: OMG OMGNGNGMFNFNLMAO
Isagi: what
Hiori: *sends video* watch
Isagi: we're in class tf
Hiori: we all know ur ass is just there to ogle at kaisers sexy muscles sybau🥀🥀
Looking up, Isagi does a quick scan of the classroom to ensure that the coast was clear.
Fortunately, the only notable sight was Mr Noa’s herculean ass staring back at him from the blackboard, Noa himself engrossed in writing unintelligible formulas and equations that Isagi was sure 99.9% of the class couldn't understand. (Math core)
“What could possibly go wrong?” Isagi sighs, opening the video.
Big fucking mistake.
Isagi didn't check his phone's volume.
The moans and panting in the totally-appropriate-for-class-not-gooning video plays on full blast in the enclosed classroom, some random dude's moans broadcasted as loud as a full surround sound system in cinemas.
Isagi's face drops instantly, eyes turning the size of dinner plates. (fake eyes open)
His face turning the same color as Chigiri's hair, Isagi’s finger shoots to the volume button as fast as his little brain was able to react and hastily tries to shove his phone away from him.
Any unsuspecting person would’ve thought he was holding a radioactive spider with the way Isagi was treating his phone.
As soon as it was stuffed into his drawer's depths, Isagi squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced, mentally preparing himself for literally everyone's stares and hoping that he was just having a nightmare.
He wasn't.
Kurona, his seatmate, being ever-so-helpful, whispers, “no offence bro, but I think you're fucked, fucked.”
Isagi, still covering his face, whispers back, “shhhhhhhhhh shut up no I'm not trusttt.”
Kurona side eyes him skeptically.
A few moments pass, and the classroom is still dead silent. Resigning himself to his fate, Isagi opens his eyes, clearing his throat. Only to find basically the whole class staring at him, save for Nagi, who was, as always, sleeping.
Looking around at everyone, Isagi smiled serenely, hoping that his expression was conveying “yeah guys haha everyone pls pretend you didn't hear the sex tape i just broadcasted for the whole world to hear”.
Well apparently it did not, because the next thing Isagi knew, even Mr Noa stops whatever Pythagorean theorem, circumcentre, circle within a triangle shi he was on to turn his hawk eyes on Isagi's sorry ass. Isagi starts mentally writing his will: Fuck Hiori.
As Noa walks towards Isagi’s desk, Isagi nudges Kurona urgently, still keeping his eyes on Noa. “Dude, please help me delete my browser history and photo gallery when I die. I can't let my stash of Kaiser pics be publicly released bruh.”
Kurona nods solemnly, “I'll delete your gooner pics, pics.”
“Wh- no they’re not! I-” is all Isagi manages to splutter before Noa arrives at his desk, wearing a grave look on his face.
“Anything to say for yourself, Yoichi?”
“IT'S ALL HIORI’S FAULT FUCK HIS MOMMY FUCKKK!” is what Isagi would've said if he wasn't the annoying stuck-up Noel Noa simp he was. So instead, he says, “uhhhhhhhhhhh no?” And let out a nervous laugh. Noa narrows his eyes at Isagi, judgement clear on his face.
However, he seems to understand the woes of a hormonal teenage boy locked in a boys-only space and dismissed the sounds from Yoichi's cellular device earlier, merely muttering something along the lines of “teenagers and their sex drive these days”.
Once Noa returns back to the blackboard, Isagi pulls out his phone again, already predicting the fuckload of notifications from the fuckass groupchat.
*BALL LICKERS*
Otoya: LMAO ISAGIIIII AUSHSHSSHH FUCKING LOSERRRR💀💀💀💀
Rin: fuck did I just hear
Chigiri: Bro managed to get rin online
Yukimiya: I wish I was deaf
Karasu: ur already blind pick a struggle vro😐
Igaguri: @Isagi send link
Otoya: ew
Karasu: ew
Igaguri: sybau as if y’all dont touch each other already
Otoya: no homo
Karasu: its not gay with socks on bruh dont u know the rules
Reo: real
Chigiri: reo stfu ur literally the worst
I hate being in charge of our laundry
Niko: bros getting exposed
Hiori: gambler mentality
u never know if the wet patch ur touching is sweat or nagis or reos offspring
Yukimiya: hell nah dealing with y’all fruitcakes is already too much
Nagi: wts hppning :x
Reo: Nagi you’re awake! <33333
Chigiri: backread u fag
Reo: don't be mean to Nagi :(
Chigiri: IM SO TIRED OF U BOTH
GET A ROOM UR RICH ENOUGH TO AFFORD ONE I DONT WANT TO ROOM WITH YOU TWO ANYMORE ALL I HEAR AT NIGHT IS BOTH OF UR HEAVY BREATHING
Niko: chigiri crashout in the chat
Bachira: @Reo @Nagi my monster and i dont wanna be part of y’all’s no homo bro hangout
the walls are paper thin yk
Otoya: “my monster” peak schizo 🥀
Karasu: nah bro got the monster mad
it gonna tickle ur toes when ur sleeping😛😛
Barou: everyone SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PAY ATTENTION
Niko: Barou asserting dominance in the chat
Hiori: everyone barou barou kyun ur ass back to noel Noa ig
*everyone is offline.*