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He's so awkward, well you both are. The way he breathes is strangely special to you, as if its the gentle, jilting rhythm of his lungs that is keeping you moving, placating your inhibitions and allowing you to just go for it.
He's laying back, resting back on his elbows, looking unsure of what you're doing or where you're even going to go next, but he's so excited and he's so into this so you let yourself get swept away, uncaring. His breath catches as you begin to remove your shirt, and you pause, glancing up to meet his eyes. He was just surprised, so you continue, fabric sliding across your shoulders, kissing your skin and leaving goosebumps as the warm air envelopes you in its stead. You shades, abandoned at the side, reflect the two of you as you move together, slow and hesitant, in the dim light, candles flickering to blur your shared shadow across the wall.
If you're honest, you never thought he'd let you get this far. You thought maybe, just maybe, he'd let you get his sweater off. That you're now sitting here, shivering in his lap, as his hands grip your hips and he blinks in something close to disbelief as he looks you over, is nothing short of a miracle. Your hands rest on his naked chest, watching his eyes for any sign of discomfort or a change of heart, but there's only wonder, and the slightest hint of confusion that makes you want to kiss him forever.
You lean in to do just that, your fingers finding the cushion at his back and curling into it as you hold yourself over him, his hands stuttering before gripping you tight, lips faltering as they reach for yours and meeting you more than halfway.
You can feel him beneath you, constrained, and sure, you're fucking nervous. You're shit scared, of course you are. You never even got this far with Terezi and, sure, you're no expert on Troll anatomy, but you're pretty sure she didn't have whatever he's got going on down there. But, behind all that you're excited. You want it. You want him. You really fucking want him, and you lean into him further, a gasp pushing past your lips into his, and his hands react, holding you tight and close.
Your hips shift and he groans into your mouth and for a moment you have to squeee your eyes closed to steady yourself. He half gasps as you press your head to his, pulling your lips apart, still breathing heavily. You want to say something but you can't. You want him to say something but he doesn't, just keeps watching to see what you'll do. So you do something.
You shuffle yourself down so you're between his legs, his hands try to follow you but end up resting, dejected by his sides. And now you're honestly just making it up as you go along, so you reach for the button on his jeans, making his fingers twitch. Once you've unzipped him he starts breathing again, and he's silent as you pull them down his legs. His underwear is dark, darker still where its stained with his arousal, and you can smell him. It's like Karkat purified, concentrated or something. It does something to you, like you just lose yourself for a moment and lean in, dragging your mouth across him, and he gasps loudly, hands flying to tangle fingers in your hair. You hear your name and it just pushes you further, your tongue tracing around him, tasting him for the first time, and its weird. It really is sweet like Terezi thought. Not like sugar, but something close. Close enough, and you want more, so you pull his underwear down.
It's not as intimidating as you thought it might be. It's not as big as you figured, and its wet, slick with something that you think should make you feel uneasy but you really don't mind. You like it, in fact. You want to touch it.
“Dave,” he says, just as your fingers brush against him, and you look up at him. He's blushing, eyes misted over, and he looks like he's almost smiling even though he can barely catch his breath. Your hand wraps around him, and you watch his face as it moves. His mouth stretches into some kind of a silent curse, one hand leaving your head to curl between his teeth. Looking down, you see what he feels. This really isn't as strange as it seems it should be. Your lip catches between your teeth and you lean down, licking shortly along him, just to taste. “Jesus!”
You can't help the tiny smirk that spreads across your mouth as you continue, lips kissing him, sucking softly, tongue wide and flat as you move along him, hand still moving, fingers tightening their hold as they dance around. He's gasping now, covering his eyes, the hand in your hair pulling almost violently though it doesn't hurt.
You pause, looking up, hand stilling. A tiny string of saliva mixed with his own wetness connects you for a moment, his eyes widening at the image. Fuck, if he's not gorgeous right now. You move, hand leaving him in favour of dragging your body up his, pressing yourself into him, leaving as little space as possible between you both. He grasps you firm around your middle and kisses you deeper than he ever has before, his tongue winding about yours, not even allowing you to breathe for a moment. When you pull back he's panting, eyes dark, and his hands push at your pants. You try to kick them off while trying to kiss him again but he just wants them off, and forces you to sit up again so he can undo the buttons.
He pauses when he sees you. You figure this must be as weird for him as it is for you, but you don't give him the chance to get used to it. You're on him again, straddling his hips, and you can feel him now, right against you, skin on skin, and it feels so fucking weird, it moves against your cock, but you just want more. He grabs your hips and moves you both together hastily, breathing into your mouth ragged and desperate. You hold his shoulders and try to keep kissing him but its difficult, especially when his fingers drift around behind you, gripping your ass and holding you open. Your eyes widen as you feel it, sliding beneath you, moving back, and his eyes are staring right into yours and he's actually asking, and all you can do is nod because yes, shit yes, this is okay, yes.
It slides against you and you choke on a breath because it just feels so strange. He freezes, hands holding you close but not down. You meet his eyes, biting your lips because, seriously, fuck, this is weird, and push back, sliding yourself against him.
The way his eyelids flutter is more than enough to convince you that you want him inside you.
It curls up, the slightly pointed tip rubbing against your skin, pressing only slightly, and you can feel the wetness it leaves behind. It pushes further, slicking you up as it goes, and yes, it's weird and uncomfortable, but fuck if it's not hot. You can feel it moving, licking you inside.
You don't remember when your eyes closed, but as it keeps pushing inside you find yourself leaning further down against him. By the time he's fully inside, you're breathing into his collar bone. His breathing is shaky, and yours isn't much better, but he grips you and moves.
A word cuts itself off in your mouth, your hands curling around his arms, and you freeze, still trying to keep up with him even though he doesn't stop. He just keeps going, holding you against him as he slides out of you, then right back in, slow as he can. Your tongue slips out and glides across his throat as you release a moan, and he falters. Pausing, your hips shift, getting him to move again, and now he's got you. Now he doesn't stop.
He holds you fast as he begins to speed up, and you let a broken whine fall into his neck, and he lets out the most amazing sound, almost like a purr. Fuck, but you can't take much more of this.
A hand drops from his shoulder and you begin to stroke yourself, trying to keep with his rhythm but there's no hope for that. You move slow and loose, even as he speeds up even more, his hands brutal with their grasp on your hip and your ass. He growls in your ear and your eyes roll back, panting into his skin, sweat running down your back, and suddenly its just too much.
You come with a curse and a moan, and he gasps into your hair, sounding desperate.
“B-bucket,” he groans, but you refuse to move.
“Just do it,” you whisper, and he does, letting himself go, coming inside you. You feel it spill out and you can't hold back another whine as his hips keep moving and he's letting all these tiny little noises out with each motion. It's so wet, even as his hips start stuttering, moving slower and slower until he finally stops.
You think you might pass out from the way you're both hyperventilating, and when you peel yourself from his chest you feel light-headed. But one look at his face makes you smile, his hair plastered to his forehead, blush vibrant beneath his skin. His eyes are glazed, a little wet, and watching you absently. You press a kiss to his mouth and refuse to move for the rest of the evening.
He agrees with you.
Of course he does.