Work Text:
2:56am
Felix wakes up with a gasp.
He sits up, heart thudding inside his chest. He clutches it tight, trying to calm himself down – but it is to no avail. His hand slightly trembles, and he closes his eyes shut for a moment.
The blond breathes in, and out and then when he deems himself able, he gets up from the bed, his socked feet wandering through the hall, until he’s finally in front of Minho's bedroom door.
He doesn't notice he's started tearing up until he tastes the salty flavor on his mouth. That, however, does not stop him. He knocks once. twice.
His vision turns blurry, his eyes sting due to the hot tears.
Three. Four times.
Then he hears it: steps coming closer and closer, until the door finally opens.
Minho is standing in front of him; baggy white shirt and shorts, hair slightly mussed – he had probably been sleeping.
“Yongbok?” Minho says, half-awake, and when the blond looks up the other man frowns, concern rapidly overtaking his features. “What happened? Hey–” He takes his trembling hand immediately, tugs him inside.
“What happened?” He repeats and closes the door, and once he does the blond man hugs him tightly, the impact of it nearly sending Minho to stumble back against the wall behind him.
It takes a second for Minho to react to it, instinctively wrapping his arms around the younger one in return once he gets out of his own shock.
“You're worrying me– Yongbok.” Minho says, and tries to stay firm, but the blond is clearly at a loss. He shakes his head when Minho tries to take a better look at him, sinking his face further into the older's chest.
Minho gives in and caresses his hair, kneads mindless patterns into his side.
They stay like that for God-knows-how-long, until Felix's silent sobs turn into sniffles, and Minho feels comfortable enough to part, taking his hand in his again and leading him to sit on his bed.
“I had a d-dream…about you, hyung.” Yongbok finally confesses when he sees Minho squat down to look him in the eye. “A nightmare, to be precise.” He wipes the tears that fall down. “We were– you were driving. I was in the passenger seat. I don't know where we were going,” He frowns as if trying to remember. “and we were so happy, chatting and joking and then– And then you–” He starts stuttering, suddenly agitated.
“Hey–” Minho interrupts, holding his hand tightly. “Slow down. Breathe.” He guides him, and Felix hesitantly nods. He gulps, then, breathing in.
Silence engulfs them both for a while, and the blond feels the other man caressing his hand with his thumb.
“We were suddenly hit by another car,” Felix starts again, squeezing his eyes shut once more. "And you lost control.”
“The car rolled over.” He continues, and his hands shake even harder. “When it all finally stopped, I looked over, and you were not next to me. I panicked, I looked for you and you were…you were lying on the road." Felix looks at Minho, bottom lip between his teeth. “You were lifeless hyung. I tried to reach for you, I swear, but I couldn't–”
Minho stands up to sit next to the younger when he sees his despair returning, caressing the side of his arm as the other rests his head on his shoulder. “I'm here. I'm fine.” Minho assures, trying to get to him.
Felix doesn't say anything, just shakes as he sobs into his shoulder.
For the first time in a long time, he feels powerless.
“Do you want me to hand you a glass of water? Make you some tea?” He whispers after a while, and quickly realizes he has not made the right choice of words when the blond clutches the front of his shirt, shaking his head.
“No, don't leave.” He begs, and his voice sounds so desperate; Minho is stunned for a second.
“Ok, I won't. I promise I won't.” He placates, alarmed at the reaction.
He's never seen Felix like this. So distraught, so frayed.
Felix’s grip on his shirt loosens up at Minho's words, and he heaves out a heavy breath.
“Do you wanna sleep here tonight?” Minho tries again.
The thought of sending Felix away in this state doesn't feel right.
Felix thankfully nods and Minho lies down first, making space for the younger to join him.
Felix scooches on closer instantly once he gets under the covers, burying his face in the crook of Minho's neck. The other lets him do that, and then his hand caresses his back up and down, while his other hand rests on his waist.
Chest to chest like this, Minho can feel Felix's fast heartbeat. It's so strong it almost alarms him.
The heavy wind outside rattles the windowpane, and Felix's fingers are cold where they touch under Minho's shirt.
“What can I do for your tears to stop, huh? Tell me.” The older one asks when he feels the spot on his shirt get damp with new warm tears.
“Just h-hold me...” His voice cracks a little, and just the sound of it is enough to make Minho's chest tighten.
He listens to the blond's calm sobs, and a lump forms in his throat.
It is weird and strange for him to see the other like this, so vulnerable in his hold, so frail and desperately sad. It is even weirder that the cause of it was Minho himself, in a way.
But Minho does as he's told and holds Felix for as long as he can, until the blond's hold on his sides go lax, the sound of his sobs is no longer heard, and his breathing evens out.
Felix wakes up feeling warm; a nice sensation amidst the chill cold from this particularly relentless Winter.
He feels an arm wrapped around his middle that's almost keeping him trapped where he is; feels his back against a strong chest.
It takes a moment for him to get out of his sleepy haze and realize that the body behind him belongs to Minho. The memories start flooding in, then – the nightmare, the tears, Minho's embrace, his bed.
Felix feels that uncomfortable sensation come back for half a second; just the memory of what he'd dreamed about getting him tense again. He decidedly shifts to turn around, still in Minho's hold, and clings to him like an ivy to a tree.
The older stirs from the movement, but also clings to the blond when he settles in.
“I'm glad you're really fine.” He whispers sincerely as he thinks that the older is still asleep, and is surprised when he hears his hoarse chuckle.
“Good morning to you, too.” He says, stroking Felix's back. It sends shivers through him, but he doesn't squirm away. In his state, thinks he'll be able to stand anything Minho does to him, as long as he stays close.
“Feeling better?” He hears Minho ask from the top of his head after a while, his voice still rough with sleep.
“Mhm. Much better.” He looks up. “Sorry about last night.”
Minho shakes his head. “Don't worry about it.” He takes a look at the younger, and his hand comes up to caress his cheek. “If anything, I should be the one apologizing. Look how puffy your eyes are because of me.” He says and his eyes look soft, his voice sounding genuinely apologetic.
Felix's hand comes up to rest above Minho's, which is still tenderly cradling his face. “My imagination did this to me, not you.”
Minho sends him a faint smile at that. He nods.
Felix is not really sure why, but neither of them makes a move to leave after that. He has no way of knowing Minho's reasons, but for him it is just so warm and comfortable here; this delicate silent bubble they're wrapped in, the warmth from the oldest's skin.
They hold each other until they briefly fall asleep once again, and then are forced to wake up for real once they start hearing some bustling in the kitchen.
“Come.” Minho extends his hands for Felix to grab as he gets up, and gives him a playful, light slap on his butt as they leave the room.
Felix's day is hectic.
First he's dropped off at a star-studded fashion event, all about chic poses with his strong make-up and tight outfits. The whole thing lasts about 4 hours, but it's not hard to mingle, somehow. He does his best to engage and be polite even on an empty stomach (as he hadn't even had time to have a meal).
Then, he gets to eat a little after everything is done, and is once again dropped off by the manager at another location afterwards – in which a photoshoot takes place. Another magazine he will be the cover of.
It's almost 11pm when he gets back to the dorm – Tired, and definitely hungry after having had only one light meal in the entire day.
He almost cries when he closes the door behind him and catches the smell of food.
Minho has his back turned to him when he enters the kitchen – The older is stir-frying something, he guesses, by the sizzling sound he hears.
“Hi.” Felix greets as he drops his bag on the nearest chair.
“Oh, you're home.” Minho gives him a look from the top of his shoulder. “Thought you would be out all night.”
“God, no.” Felix whines, and he hears Minho chuckle. The blond sits at the table, just waiting, and when the other notices he hasn't left, he turns around.
“Hungry?” He asks with a lopsided smirk, and Felix nods profusely.
“There's stew and I'm frying some bacon to go with the fried eggs. I just craved it.” Minho shrugs, and the other smiles.
“Go take a shower while I set the table.”
°••°
After Felix is done showering he puts on his pajamas and joins the older one again; both of them eating in comfortable silence. The food tastes delicious, but it's a given when the one cooking them is Minho.
“Gosh hyung, thank you so much for this, seriously.” He hums in delight, and Minho looks at him for a moment, something akin to fondness in his gaze.
“Where are the others?” The blond asks after some time.
Minho pauses. “I don't know? I think Kim Seungmin and Innie were gonna go find some restaurant downtown, but I heard there was a change of plans. I'm not sure though…” He trails off. “All I know is that they're not home.”
“Mhm.” The younger hums.
They both resume eating, and once they're done, Felix offers to wash the dishes while Minho dries them and puts them away.
It's nice and easy just being side by side, the tranquility a complete contrast to the busy day he'd had. He feels some sort of security, in a way.
Minho turns off the kitchen light once they're out and lets out a content sigh. They both brush their teeth together inside the shared bathroom, and Minho's free hand rests on the blond's hip. They make eye-contact in the sink mirror for a moment, before Minho looks away.
It's quite late, and they both have schedules tomorrow, so neither of them decides to stay in the living room when they're done with their night routines; both men heading to the halls where their respective bedrooms are, instead.
“Hyung.” Felix grabs Minho's hand before he can open the door to his own room.
“Mhm?” He looks at their hands, and then at Felix.
“Can I sleep with you again?” He asks, suddenly sheepish. He feels Minho's gaze on him and flushes; it feels suddenly embarrassing now, having asked.
“Are you still having bad dreams?” He questions and, bless him, sounds genuinely concerned.
And now that's the embarrassing part.
Felix is okay. It has been 2 days since that…incident, and it's been fine. Tonight, though, he just doesn't want the warmth he's been feeling in Minho's presence to end this abruptly.
Also, despite the prior events, It would be a lie to say that he hadn't had one of the best night's sleep once he was tucked inside the older's embrace that night.
Felix was so tired. He just wanted his hyung again.
“No, I'm no longer having bad dreams.” He explains and his cheeks burn. He must look so immature to him, he doesn't even want to elaborate his reasons. He's sure that the older one is straight up going to reject the idea. It was fine the first time since he was distraught and in a fragile state, but there was no reason for them to sleep in the same bed now.
Felix almost backpedals, trying to conjure up anything reasonable to say and ask the older to forget it, when suddenly he feels Minho's hand shift inside his grasp, turning to intertwine their fingers while he opens the door and drags him inside.
The lights are out, and Felix's eyes take some seconds to get used to the full-on darkness before Minho lets go of his hand and moves forward to lie under the covers, making space for him without saying a word.
Felix feels that warmth and some kind of relief at that, not wasting time before joining him. He settles under the covers as well with his back turned to the older, shifting slightly close, though still hesitant.
In his head, he's afraid to ruin this. He doesn't want to bother Minho in his own bed when he was kind enough to let him stay; doesn't know what he's comfortable with now that the circumstances are different.
He's still in his own head, buried under his own thoughts when he suddenly feels the light touch of Minho's hand on his hip for the second time that night, this time to tug him closer to the older's own body. His breath stutters a little, for some reason. He hadn't expected that.
Felix's back is flush to Minho's chest, now.
“Yongbok.”
“Yes?”
“Is this okay?” The older one asks close to his ear, voice small and light. Apparently he'd been having the same thoughts.
Felix nods, moving even closer, somehow, and the older man's hand moves up around his middle, keeping him near. He sighs in contentment – from the warmth, from the stability he offers.
It's foreign to him, feeling this way next to Minho. He's always been a hyung who behaved in a quite feisty way, somebody he'd always found amusing and intriguing but who, sometimes unintentionally, he kept at arm's length.
Now when they're close like this, all he feels is comfort; and some kind of good feeling spreading all over.
It doesn't take long until Felix's tiredness catches up to him and he closes his eyes; the steady beating of Minho's heart behind him lulling him to sleep.
After that night, sleeping together becomes their routine.
No matter how busy they've been or which day it is, Minho and Felix always find a way to end up falling asleep side by side on Minho's bed – to the point where now Felix doesn't even have to knock: Minho's bedroom door is always ajar, as if he's waiting.
The blond's belongings are basically all left in Minho's room now; his earphones, his laptop (sometimes they watch movies together on the bed, cuddling before lying down together), even some of his clothes.
At practice Felix always looks for Minho, too. Teasing him, slapping his butt to grab his attention (it always works, and he feels proud of himself whenever the other sends him an incredulous smile after being hit), lying his head on Minho's lap during breaks while the other is on his phone…
Minho has his own way of showing his affection as well. Light fingers on Felix's nape when they walk together, a fleeting touch on the blond's waist as they pass by one another, a smirk he sends when their eyes meet through the practice room mirror.
It's all there, tangible and very much real, and it's so natural being with Lee Know, like something fits into place whenever he's in his presence.
Lee Know is sitting down inside a music show waiting/dressing room, entertained by something on his phone when Felix opens the door. In the seats in front of him are Changbin, Chan, Seungmin and Jeongin, all except Minho playing a game of rock paper scissors to decide something.
“What are you guys doing?” The blond asks while he holds the small electric fan to his face, trying to cool himself off. They are on a little break, about to do the 3rd and last recording for a music show performance in advance for the comeback week.
There's plenty of space in the large sitting space they have, but he walks over to sit on Minho's lap instead.
The other just glances at him once before moving his arms out of the way and spreading his legs for Yongbok to sit properly, wrapping one arm around his middle when he does so. Minho resumes scrolling through his phone with one hand after the blond has settled in.
Felix doesn't notice the looks exchanged between Changbin and Chan at their suddenly close interaction, too busy listening to Seungmin when he explains,
“Whoever loses is gonna buy coffee for the staff.”
He has a mischievous look on his face, and the blond nods, suddenly excited. “Okay, then I wanna play, too!”
“Alright.” Seungmin says, and then,
“Lee Know hyung is out because he's a cheapskate.” Seungmin teases, making them laugh.
“No, he's not….” Felix weakly says and gives them a small smile before looking back at Minho, who caresses his side in silent acknowledgement.
“Okay, let's do this.” The leader calls their attention once again.
Felix wins first, and he excitedly yelps. Minho instinctively holds him close when he almost jumps from his lap in celebration, and the others burst into laughter at his excitement.
“It's always the ones who suggest the game. C'mon, please be Changbin, please.” Seungmin brazenly says, and the other bumps into him with his shoulder.
“Ya!!” He exclaims indignantly, yet holding a laugh himself.
Bangchan ends up getting the penalty, his jaw slacking when he realizes it.
The others make fun of him, and then after some time just eating snacks and drinking water, the boys leave, leaving Felix and Minho alone.
“What are you watching, huh?” The blond asks from his spot on his lap, suddenly curious;; now leaning back against the older's chest and he doesn't even flinch, just holds his waist with his free hand while he tilts his phone to show him cat reels.
“That's adorable.” Felix genuinely coos and Minho smiles, too.
“Thank you.” The older responds, teasing him – suddenly much more lively than he was moments ago. The realization fills his heart with warmth, somehow.
“Not you.” Felix playfully rolls his eyes.
He takes a look at Minho, then. His eyes look soft even with the heavy make-up on, his lips are scarlet; plump when he beams at him.
For the first time, looking at him makes Felix’s heart stutter.
"Okay fine, you too.” He grumbles, earning a laugh from the older.
“How was your day?” Felix asks Minho, staring at him from his spot on the bed.
It's past 2am, and the other had gotten here only an hour ago. Felix had decided to just watch a random rerun of a cooking program in the living room and wait for him; the other members were already asleep.
“Exhausting.” Minho says with a sigh. “Did manager hyung tell you I was filming?”
Felix nods. “I asked him this morning where you were.”
It had been weird, waking up without Lee Know by his side. He felt cold, and, with his eyes still closed, he reached to pat the older's side of the bed, but it was empty. He didn't like that feeling at all, and tried to fall asleep again but he couldn't – not without him. So Felix went on a search for him in the dorm but it turns out he was just not at home, and the others had still not woken up.
He ended up having to ask the manager about Lee Know's whereabouts, then, and it turns out that the other was filming some variety show content. The information settled his nerves, but he couldn't help but miss him throughout the day, and during his own schedules.
He just couldn't wait to see him again.
“You filmed something too, right? You still have some make-up on…” Minho muses, reaching up to cradle Felix's cheek, caressing it with his thumb. The blond closes his eyes, leaning into his gentle touch. When he opens them, something foreign blooms inside his chest again at the sight of Minho.
“Pretty.” He hears the older say, and feels the heat in his cheeks instantly.
“Hyung...” He whines, ducking his head down in embarrassment.
“What?” He asks, feigning ignorance.
“Stop saying these kinds of things.” He begs weakly, yet a smile graces his face.
“I'm just telling the truth.” He says, voice low. “You hear it all the time.”
“But coming from you, it's different.” He blurts out before he can stop himself, before he can even think of what he's saying, and feels the weight of Minho's piercing gaze.
“Is it?”
The other still has his hand on his cheek; and gives it another caress. The warm touch makes Felix’s flush intensify. The words don't come out.
“Okay, I'll be good, now. I'll stop talking.” Minho surrenders with a mischievous smirk, and just the sight of it makes Felix’s heart race faster. He doesn't know what's gotten into him.
Still, he shifts closer and sinks into the other's chest even further, and Minho tugs him close, cradling his head.
The hours go by, but Felix stays awake. For the first time since he and Minho started sleeping together, he has trouble falling asleep.
Instead of offering comfort, the warmth of Lee Know's body now makes the younger feel agitated; the hand he has on Felix's hip almost burns his skin through the fabric of his shorts.
He's sleeping now; eyes shut, long eyelashes framing his cheeks, plump lips slightly open and barely showing his bunny teeth. He looks so handsome, Felix doesn't want to stop looking.
The more he stares, though, the more he becomes aware of his own heartbeat; his heart thuds so intensely, it almost hurts. A lump forms in his throat then, and he tries to ignore the meaning of it. But it's not easy.
It's not easy when all he wants is for Minho to call him pretty again, for him to hold him like that again, make him melt under his intense attention.
Felix is suddenly overcome with the urge to take his previous words back; to let Minho know he wants his praises, and his searing touches and everything he can give him.
But of course, he can't say any of that now, so he just sinks deeper into Minho's hold, and when the latter holds him tighter on instinct Felix sighs in contentment, pressing a light kiss on Minho's clothed chest.
Minho hadn't come back to the dorms last night.
They'd had group filmings in the afternoon (which lasted for hours), and after that Felix had a free schedule so he just went back to their shared dorm along with Jeongin. He needed this little bit of rest after such a busy couple of weeks, and some lazying wouldn't hurt.
He read some pages of a novel he'd bought the week prior; ordered them both pizza when Jeongin commented he was hungry.
After they were done eating, Felix brushed his teeth and retreated into his own room for a while to play computer games, and did his best not to think about Minho.
It wasn't that he was getting codependent, really – He wasn't. But as much as he and the older had been spending a lot of time cuddling before falling asleep, this hectic comeback season prevented them from hanging out one-on-one during the day.
Felix had foolishly hoped that Minho would come home with him since they were both free after the group filmings, and was more disappointed than he cared to admit when he didn't.
The hours passed. Felix eventually emerged from his room once again; saw when Seungmin came home from his outing with Hyunjin, tired from shopping and wandering around, but with a content expression on his face nonetheless.
“Thought you had gone to that seolleongtang place with Changbin hyung.” Seungmin said as he slipped off his jacket.
“Nah, too tired.” Felix responded from his spot on the living room fluffy carpet; a glass of water in hand. “Besides, I'm waiting for the prickly cat to get here so we can watch a movie, maybe.” He shrugged.
“Isn't he at Han's?” Seungmin tilted his head.
“I don't know. Is he?”
“I think so. Han said they were having an ‘anime marathon’, and you know how excited they get.” Seungmin rolled his eyes. “Honestly, I don't know how they can watch the same thing so many times. Don't they get tired of it?” He rambled, but Felix didn’t even pay attention to the rest.
Han's shared dorm with Bangchan, Changbin and Hyunjin wasn't very near to this one, and it was already nearing 9pm. Minho for sure wasn't coming home tonight.
The prospect of not falling asleep in Minho's arms made him feel so dejected, and the fact that he had chosen to spend time with Han when Felix was free bothered him.
It was so shameful that it did, though, and out of character for him to feel this way. Lee Know could and should hang out with whoever he wanted, and Han was a fellow member, their friend.
He resented the feeling bubbling up in his throat at that; couldn't accept how affected he felt by it.
He was jealous.
“By the way, I noticed you two have gotten quite close…” Seungmin’s comment brought him back to the moment.
He blinked, not really knowing what to make of that.
It was true, they'd gotten closer (maybe too close now, given Felix's recent realizations).
But what did Seungmin mean by that? Was he being judgmental, genuine or just sarcastic? He could never tell.
“Yeah, I think so. Lee Know hyung is nice.” He settled on saying, fidgeting with the hem of his sweater, suddenly jittery.
His previous thoughts coupled with this talk about Lee Know made his heart leap inside his chest. He was thankful that the other boy was sitting on the couch, because since Felix was sitting on the floor with his back leaning on that same couch, Seungmin couldn't quite see his face, and consequently, couldn't notice the sudden flush on his cheeks.
The latter scoffed. “Yeah, I guess.” He said, and then, “I think he likes you a lot.”
That grabbed his attention, and he looked up at Seungmin. “Really?” He paused. “Did he tell you that?”
“No, but you can just tell…” Seungmin trailed off. “He keeps asking for you when you're not around, which, no offense, sometimes gets annoying.” He grumbled.
“Besides, when he knows you have a schedule, he makes breakfast for you in advance, before you wake up. He gets up so early just to do that– I caught him doing it at least twice, you know I'm kind of an insomniac.”
“I asked him what he was doing one time, and he said ‘Breakfast for Yongbokkie’ with that sweet tone. I almost gagged.”
“What?” Felix asked, genuinely surprised.
“I know, right? He would never do that for me, that's for sure.” He rolled his eyes. “Most of the time you're so rushed, though, you don't even get to grab a bite, which does make me kind of feel bad for him.” He shrugged.
Felix didn't say a word, still processing the fact that Lee Know got up crazy early in the morning just to cook for him, and did it without even waking him up, too. That was just so sweet, so nice of him. And he'd still get onto bed again afterwards just so they would “wake up” side by side.
Felix's mind was spiraling.
The blond still wasn't able to voice anything out loud, too wrapped up in his own thoughts, and Seungmin seemed to notice his lack of response.
“What, did you really think those delicious breakfasts were made by me or Innie?” He chuckled.
“When you would wake up, the food would already be ready and since he made it in large proportion, we'd just heat it if it went cold, and eat it. Yesterday, too, was like that.”
It all made sense. There was a lot of kimbap and gyeran jjim, even seaweed soup yesterday, indeed. He remembered feeling his mouth water at all the delicious food on the table when he woke up, and unfortunately had only been able to eat a little bit of each before he was rushed to get ready, not wanting to arrive late at the filming location.
He clutched his chest when he felt his heart start to race, and a sudden warmth enveloped him. How did he never know? Why didn't Minho say anything?
“Also,” Seungmin cleared his throat “he seems calmer too, now, almost…tamed?” Seungmin continued, oblivious, and laughed to himself. “Your personality is rubbing off on him, and I'm glad. He's a lot less insufferable these days.” He said sharply but with no real venom, before moving to stand up.
Seungmin sighed. “I'm gonna take a shower, I'm feeling sweaty.” He said abruptly. “And you should stand up from that spot before your back starts to hurt.” He nagged before walking away, completely unaware of the havoc that his words had caused inside Felix's mind
Lino hyung ❤️
Hey
Want anything?
I'm on my way to the dorm.
Felix sat up on the couch when his phone buzzed, heart instantly picking up at the notification, and even more so at the message itself. Maybe it was the fact that the older one was coming home, or the fact that he was texting Felix at all.
It could also be because he was being thoughtful and kind towards him right now, and those kinds of actions from him made Felix's heart flutter.
Either way, it was all because of Minho. The smile on his face, and the sudden flush on his cheeks.
Me
Hi hyungie 💕
Bring some strawberries, please
That way we can share! 😊
Thank you, hyung. <3
Lino hyung ❤️
Sure!!!
See you later, Yongbok.
Me
See ya 💕
“Wow these are huge!” Felix exclaims when he opens the box of strawberries that Lee Know brought.
“Right? That's what I thought too. And they look really fresh.” The older man says from his place next to him by the kitchen counter. “Ah, I also brought you chocolate, just in case? I don't know. It seemed like you were craving sweets, so…” His voice suddenly goes small, and from up-close Felix can see Minho's ears turning red.
The long-haired man stares at him for a moment, and when Minho stares back, it sends something through his chest, a warmth straight to the heart.
“What is it?” Minho asks with a tilt of his head, slightly confused.
He turns from the counter to face Minho fully and then moves closer, wrapping the older man in a hug.
Despite himself, Minho reciprocates the hug right away, and his cologne fills Felix's senses instantly.
“Missed you so much...” The blond confesses into his chest, and has to physically hold himself back from kissing him there.
“I can tell. You're wearing my shirt.” Minho teases, and Felix pulls away to look at the other, all the color leaving his face instantly.
He freezes and then looks down. That is, indeed, Minho's shirt he had stolen from his closet the night prior.
After it was clear Minho wasn't coming home, Felix showered, did his night routine and got into bed.
Except that all he did was turn and toss, not really managing to fall asleep at all.
He missed Minho, and it was undeniable. Missed his presence, his strong hold around him, his warmth and his scent – God, his sandalwood and earthly scent was inebriating sometimes, and it brought so much comfort…being without it was almost maddening.
He couldn't stop wishing the other was there with him, and at one point he got so desperate that he had the idea to sneak into his bedroom and just burrow one of his oversized shirts to wear.
Felix felt the warmth and the comfort instantly, and noticed that the other's pleasant scent still clung to his shirt even though it had already been washed and cleaned.
He happily made his way back to his room after fetching it, and made a mental note to take it off in the morning before Minho arrived so he wouldn't find it weird.
He had forgotten all about it, apparently.
“Oh hyung, I–” Felix's blood quickly returns to his cheeks as he begins to stammer and rush to explain himself, but the other cuts him off.
“Yongbok, it's okay.” Minho chuckles, vaguely amused. “You look good in it, anyway.” He shrugs. “It suits you.”
Felix blinks at him, surprised and somehow even more smitten by his reaction, and Minho, noticing his state of being at a loss for words, reaches out to ruffle his hair.
“Let's just go ahead and eat these, I kind of want to try them too.”
°••°
They spend the afternoon like that; sharing sweet strawberries, and then huddled on the couch; Felix laying his head on Minho's lap as he resumes reading his novel, picking up from where he'd stopped. Minho, in turn, is watching TV, the volume low so it doesn't disturb the blond's reading.
After that, Jeongin arrives from his dermatologist appointment and the three of them decide to play Halli Galli. It is an individual game, but Minho keeps on tapping Felix's side to let him know when there's a card with 5 fruits (since he sometimes fails to realize it), so he can tap the bell and win.
He manages to win a few cards like that, but Jeongin is faster, and ultimately wins the game. He gives out a penalty, too, because with them there's no game without some sort of punishment for the loser, and well, they have to not only make dinner tonight but wash the dishes as well.
Felix groans while the youngest laughs. “That's so cruel, Innie-ya. Who taught you that?” He asks, and the other just laughs even more.
Minho stands up in the meantime, promptly extending his hand for Felix to grab and get himself up as well, so they can go ahead and start preparing.
..
“I thought we were gonna make this together.” Felix says from his spot on the empty counter. He's sitting on it, legs dangling, just watching as Minho chops garlic on the cutting board. He's already made the dakbokkeumtang all alone, not letting Felix do so much as lift up a fork. Now he's also doing the rice by himself.
“I mean, I could have helped you, hyung.” Felix whines, finding it unfair. They both got the punishment, after all.
Minho gives him a look from the top of his shoulder “It's fine. You’ve had a busy week.”
“So did you.” Felix retorts. “You're already so nice to me...” He adds.
“This is nothing, Yongbok-ah.” Minho responds. “Besides, we can wash the dishes together later, if you want.”
“I'm not talking only about this, hyung.” Felix tells him. “Look, you share your bed with me every night just because I want to – because I asked you to. You take care of me at practice; you bring me strawberries and chocolates (!) – and you even make breakfast for me when you know I have schedules.”
Minho's movements with the rice paddle stop. “How do you even kn–" He starts, and then interrupts himself. “Kim Seungmin.” He says, and shakes his head.
“Yes. He told me. Because otherwise, I wouldn't even have known it.” Felix pointedly says, getting off the counter with a little thud, walking towards Minho. He hugs the older from behind, resting his chin upon his shoulder.
Minho doesn't pull away.
“Thank you.” The blond says, low.
Minho slightly turns his head to take a look at him, and they both stare at each other for a moment. For Felix, those seconds feel like a lifetime; It's just him and Minho, here, and he feels the warmth in his fond gaze, in the way he places his right arm around Felix's waist by the stove.
He sees Minho's eyes roam his entire face, and for a moment his gaze lands on his lips; for a fraction of a second before the older looks into his eyes again and leans in, pressing a light kiss on Felix's forehead, before he resumes cooking.
The feeling of it is so light, so tender, his lips soft and plushy, and Felix just…stops for a second, the gesture of affection just doing more in deepening what he's been feeling for the other; what he's been trying to attribute to something else– and failing to do so.
Minho is just so dependable, so self-sufficient. He doesn't need anyone. He cooks, he cleans up after himself. For someone who has a reputation of being grumpy, he rarely complains, and Felix knows this; he's been paying attention like he has tunnel vision for Minho.
He's so kind, so genuinely nice. And not only to him (as others might imply). He sees the way Minho treats the staff, how kind he is to waiters when the whole group is out at restaurants; how he cares for his members (although the way he shows it might be different).
It's all there, and it's always been there.
He's so handsome, too, almost impossibly so. On the stage yes, with all the heavy make-up and shiny outfits, but even more so right here, right now – bare-faced, wearing his comfortable clothes, hair slightly mussed.
They are setting the table together, and Felix cannot stop staring at him. Something swells inside his chest, a feeling so strong and powerful, it makes his eyes sting, a little; and he realizes right at that moment – he's fallen in love.
He's fallen in love with Minho.
°••°
The dakbokkeumtang tastes delicious, of course – the braised chicken is spicy, but not in a way that's unbearable. It tastes properly-seasoned, and with rice it's just incredible. They don't even say much as they dig in, but when they do, only praises are heard.
“Wow hyung, this is so good!”
“Seriously, how is the chicken so crispy?”
“Ah hyung, even the rice…yah…”
Minho shrinks under all the compliments, and Felix watches him fondly, eventually leaning close, too. “This is really good, Lee Know hyung, seriously. Thank you for the amazing dinner.” The blond says to him, and leaves a light squeeze on his thigh under the table. “Even though you didn't let me help.” He adds and playfully pinches him, and the older flinches from it, letting out a light chuckle.
°••°
Jeongin and Seungmin end up washing the dishes – the youngest had said he felt bad to make Minho do it since the food was so good, and when Felix was about to follow them into the kitchen and say he wanted to help too, Minho grabbed him by the arm, making him stop in his tracks.
They sit down on the couch, and Minho instantly picks the remote and starts scrolling through, trying to find a movie for them both to watch. He eventually chooses the one Felix wants (for no good reason other than the poster looks good).
The youngest ones eventually say their ‘good nights’ as they emerge from the kitchen and pass by them in the living room, and Felix feels horrible for the pang of giddiness that he feels at them calling it a night instead of joining him and Minho.
It's past 11pm now, and it's cold. From the drops clinging to the windowpane, it's safe to assume that it's drizzling a bit outside.
Minho, noticing his sudden shivers, pauses the movie to fetch a comforter in his room for them to share, and when he sits down again, Felix doesn't hesitate in shifting closer to him.
The plot of the movie they're watching revolves around a heist, but if someone were to ask, Felix wouldn't be able to name even the main character.
All he can focus on is Minho. The feeling of his arm wrapped around his body, Minho's chest against his head… from up-close, the blond can smell the older's sandalwood cologne like he's put it on himself.
He's never felt this around anyone: this giddiness just being by his side, the feeling of absolute fervor churning under his belly at Minho's mere presence. It was in equal parts overwhelming and amazing.
“You're jittery.” Minho looks down at him at some point, scanning his face. He takes his hand under the cover. “You're trembling, Yongbok.” He says, concern quickly clouding his features, then being replaced by confusion. “This is not a scary movie, though?”
Felix shakes his head. “No, it isn't. I'm not scared, I–... I don't know.” He chuckles, almost embarrassed.
It's Minho making him feel like this; heart leaping, hands trembling, legs feeling like they're gonna turn into jelly once he stands up.
Minho looks at him for a moment too long, still partially concerned; but he doesn't say anything – just remains holding his hand, and they stay huddled until the movie ends.
When it does, Minho turns the TV off, picks up the comforter and walks up to his room, placing it onto his bed before heading out and into the bathroom. Felix follows him.
They brush their teeth side by side like they've done a few times before, and when they're out and into the hall again, Minho opens the door of his bedroom for Felix to enter first; no question asked.
Felix's feet lead him straight towards the bed. He sits, watches as Minho strips himself off his regular clothes and changes into his night ones and tries not to stare too long.
Minho's body is beautiful; toned in all the right places, but with a softness to it, too – he looks like a painting; Felix can't get enough of him.
When he finishes changing, he turns off the lights.
Felix lies down, then, making space for Minho, and the other gets under the covers with a relaxed sigh.
The older holds him close, and Felix buries his nose in the crook of Minho's neck. Suddenly it's like all his worries and all other things fade away; he only exists here in this moment, trapped in this bubble of absolute comfort and stability.
“Missed you.” Minho confesses, breaking the silence that had formed between them. The words make Felix's heart leap, make something bloom and take form inside his chest.
There's something about the way Minho says things sometimes – like the words are struggling to get out, like these admissions are against his will. It is as though doesn't want to say it, but he does it anyway, because that's what he feels and he can't contain it.
Lee Minho, Felix has learned, is not a man to lie. He doesn't say anything just because he feels like it, or because that might be expected of him to say. He says things that he actually means, hurtful or loving. That's what makes his opinions and thoughts so respected, that's what makes his words heavy, and more impactful, in a way.
So he knows that Minho is telling the truth right now, but still, there's that something, a bitter thing, rearing its thorns amongst the flowers blooming inside his heart.
“Did you really?” The words are thrown into the dead silence of the room, and he feels the atmosphere getting stifling.
Minho doesn't respond right away. He prompts himself on one of his elbows instead, the position giving him an edge over Felix. Even in the dark, he can feel the other's eyes roaming his face, searching for something.
“I did. I did miss you, Yongbok.” He says, though tentatively, at first. “And I missed this. Us, like this.” He points between them more surely this time, and Felix swears he feels the words searing through him. And then,
“Why, do you not believe me?” Minho asks, suddenly serious, and Felix can see the moment he frowns.
It makes Felix’s insides turn.
There's so much he wants to say. He needs Minho; he knows this – knows it because no one makes him feel like this; so safe but also so unsure, like everything he says has to be right. He doesn't want to upset him. He doesn't want to ruin this.
Felix's never worried about any of that before, never had to analyze his own feelings towards another person. But Minho has him stumbling over his words, fretting. He feels anguished, almost, by how much he feels right now.
He just wants to know if Minho feels it, too.
“It's not that.” The blond reassures, almost a breath too quick. “It's not.”
“Then what is it? Is there something wrong?”
“Hyung.” He calls for Minho's attention, placing his hand on top of his where he's touching the blond's cheek.
“Mhm.” Minho hums, patient; and he looks almost like a God like this; painted blue by the moonlight coming in through the window, his big eyelashes fanning when he blinks. Felix's breath hitches; he doesn't want anyone else to have this.
“This…” The long-haired man points between them just like the older had done moments ago. “Us, like this. It's just between you and me?” He whispers, and when Minho looks at him with a slight hint of confusion, he rushes to clarify.
He clears his throat, anxious. “When you slept–” he pauses, “When you slept at Han's, did you sleep with him like this? Like we do?” He gulps, and there it is.
The true root of the bitterness taking place inside his ribcage; the jealousy he's been trying to tame.
Do you hold him like you hold me? Do you touch anyone else like you touch me?
Minho hadn't come home that night, and Felix could not stop thinking about it. It filled him with shame, and he tried to get rid of those thoughts, but he couldn't. He kept imagining it, and he found out that he hated it; hated the thought of someone else in the older's embrace.
He should've known by then – how deep he had already fallen.
“No.” Minho is quick to respond as if realizing what this is about, and his gaze is so piercing, Felix feels almost trapped under it. “I slept in his bedroom, yes, because it was cold and it would be uncomfortable for me to sleep on the couch.” He stops. “But I didn't really want to share the bed. I slept in a sleeping bag instead." He explains.
The blond nods, and feels even more ashamed by the jolt of relief that washes through him at that.
“Yongbok.” the older says after a moment, light and almost tentative. Felix gazes up at him instantly, just the sound of his voice enough to draw all of his attention.
The other is still propped up on his elbow, still looking down at him, eyes roaming and searching.
“Would it matter to you, if I slept with him?” He hears Minho whisper, and Felix blinks; he freezes for a second. His heart, in turn, thuds so loudly, he can almost hear it.
The question is simple, yet filled with so much meaning. Felix's eyes sting.
“Hyung…”
“Tell me, am I reading this wrong?” Minho asks again, searching his eyes.
He still caresses Felix's cheek, gaze still so tender and Felix just can't bring himself to lie, can't bring himself to run away from the way Lee Know makes him feel.
Felix shakes his head, eyes shining. “No. No, you aren't.”
“Yongbok…”
“Lee Know hyung.” He says back, staring.
The silence between them is heavy with tension, with all the words unsaid, and Minho stares back, his gaze so strong Felix feels almost burdened to be stared at.
Then he sees it; the moment Minho's gaze lands on his lips, the way his tongue darts out to wet his own bottom lip before he cradles the left side of Felix's face. His thumb grazes it, and it's like he's almost savoring it; drinking in this moment.
In turn, Felix looks at him with bated breath, anticipating, completely at his mercy.
His heart thuds when Minho finally leans down, planting a kiss on his lips.
It's so chaste for a second, like they're both testing the waters, both men hesitant to cross this threshold.
Then Minho starts getting bolder; his hand goes down to grab Felix's side, gripping his waist in a tight hold. The younger's hands, in turn, fly up to hold each side of Minho's face, and their kiss turns more passionate, wet.
Minho's lips on his own feel amazing – plush and soft – and each stroke of his tongue gets him gradually more pliant. Felix hums and whines into the continuous kisses, and his legs wrap around the older's waist at some point.
Lee Know's body on top of him almost cages him, and the press of his weight mixed with his fresh cologne is maddening. Felix gasps when they part for air, and Minho plants kisses on his neck while the blond grips his shoulders.
“This might be the best kiss I've ever had.” Felix confesses his thoughts out loud, out of breath, arching his back at the cold feeling of Minho's plump lips on his neck.
The older pulls away at the words, and even in the dark, Felix can recognize that smirk on his face. They stare at each other, then, and Felix feels a pang of something; so intense, so good. He doesn't want this to ever stop. He doesn't want Minho to ever stop.
Minho takes one of Felix's hands, and he feels a bolt of electricity running through him when the older intertwines their fingers. He places their now joined hands above Felix's head on the mattress, body pushing down on him.
Felix just watches it unfold with a hitched breath, watches Minho take the lead. He falls to pieces under his gaze, under his touch – under him.
Their noses brush; Felix wants this forever.
Minho closes the space between them again.
Lee Know and Felix can't keep their hands to themselves.
They kiss rushedly inside empty dressing rooms, and during breaks of their content filmings; both men locking themselves in the bathroom, hoping no one can find them.
It's always a hassle to smooth out their wrinkled clothes and messy hairs afterwards, but Felix doesn't mind.
They intertwine their fingers under the table when all the members gather to eat together, both of them barely hiding their flush at the mere contact – like high-schoolers.
But whatever it is that they have, it's filled with tenderness, too.
Minho kisses Felix's shoulder when he passes him by in the kitchen; cooks for him whenever he can.
Felix texts Minho when they're far apart, sends him pictures telling him how much he wishes they were together.
He's also made it a habit to bring pudding to Minho whenever he gets home, and the older is always so happy and grateful about it, Felix's heart swells with fondness every time (and if he's been watching tutorials on how to make them himself in order to surprise the other man, no one has to know).
The blond often wakes up being spooned by Minho, now, and has to fight the urge to utter words far too meaningful whenever he turns around and sees Minho next to him.
He wonders how long he'll be able to keep it in.
Minho has a hand on Felix's hip as they descend down the steps to leave the stage, both of them exhausted (just like all the other members).
Tours are always demanding and relentless on their bodies. Even if they work out regularly and manage themselves to the best of their ability, that doesn't stop them from feeling out of breath and even weak after almost 3 hours of continuous dancing and singing.
The ride back to the hotel is quiet, as expected, the van silent except for the sounds coming from the members’ phones. Felix had found a way to sit next to Minho, who, in turn, had not made a move to acknowledge him when he sat down, and remained looking out the window.
He did seem more on edge than usual today; maybe from the nerves, maybe from the series of malfunctions happening on stage and then, the downpour they had to deal with by the final act of the concert – which admittedly had made them more vulnerable to potentially dangerous situations (like slipping off one of the very high platforms used for the stages, for example).
Felix is also more stressed than he usually is, but he knows Minho has a more harsh way to express it. That's why he doesn't push it when Minho doesn't talk to him in the van – just lets him be, instead.
The younger one has always been good at getting out of Minho's way when would get like that – he'd learned to deal with him back when they were trainees, and looking back, maybe that's one of the reasons as to why they'd never fought.
Still, he can't help but be selfish, in a way. He needs Minho, always; needs his warmth and his presence, even today– maybe even more so today – So, he rests his head on his shoulder, even if tentatively, and is quite surprised when Minho, despite still not saying a word, moves his arm to reach and hold Felix's side, bringing him closer.
°••°
It's late in the evening. Felix is already clad in his robe, ready to take a bath, when he hears someone knocking.
He's skeptical at first – since he's pretty sure he hadn't ordered room service and well, there could never be too many precautions considering their line of work.
“Who is it?” He asks, approaching the door in careful steps, heart already racing.
A wave of relief washes over him, however, when he hears Minho's voice on the other side.
“It's me.”
Felix smiles involuntarily at the sound of it, and lets out a sigh of relief before he unlocks and opens the door.
“Hi.” He greets, and steps aside so Lee Know can get inside the room.
“Hi.” The other says back with a faint smile that comes out strained. His voice also lacks its usual tone, and Felix catches it right away.
Felix notices that Minho has both hands at his side when he gets in, and seems fidgety, anxious.
The blond feels a pang in his chest at that, and his previous giddiness at Minho's presence morphs into something more like concern.
He doesn't mention it, though. Lee Know is not the type to open up when he feels like he's expected to; so Felix just swallows down his worry and his questions, and tries to move as naturally as possible.
He plants a quick kiss on his lips, which the other is surprisingly quick to reciprocate. He feels Minho's hand on his waist, grounding him.
“I was just about to take a bath.” Felix says when they part a little. He strokes Minho's cheek, and his heart flutters when the other closes his eyes at the contact. “Wanna join me?” He asks, and Minho's eyes open. He stares at him, hand still resting on his waist.
“Are you sure?”
His expression softens. It's sweet, Felix thinks, that he asks.
Ever since this…thing between them started, they haven't done much besides making-out, roaming each other's bodies with their hands (while fully clothed).
Meaning that while they have seen each other naked on other occasions, it was way back; way before their friendship bloomed into whatever it is that they have right now. In a way, this is a new step for them.
“Yes,” Felix nods, and plants another quick peck on Minho's mouth. “I'm sure.”
..
The bathroom is huge; with a dual-sink vanity in brown hues, and a bathtub that's clearly big enough for two.
Felix undoes the knot in his robe without hesitation, letting it fall past his shoulders and pool at his feet. He looks back, notices Minho's eyes roaming his naked figure; his searing gaze makes his pulse quicken, and sends a heat to his cheeks.
He doesn't say anything to that, however, and enters the tub first, sighing as his cold skin makes contact with the warm water inside.
He can't help but sit back and watch as Minho, a little more timid than he'd just been, takes off his shirt. The older lets it fall on the ground before undoing the button and then unzipping his pants, getting them off in a swift motion.
Felix almost feels bad for staring so blatantly, but Minho's body is just gorgeous. The epitome of manliness.
Again, he settles on not saying anything, even when his heart feels like it's gonna race out of his chest when Minho takes off his boxers, revealing his cock.
The blond looks away, then, trying to regain his composure.
If Minho notices how affected Felix is, he also doesn't mention it, and when he joins him inside the tub, the younger quickly settles with his back against Minho's chest.
The other sighs in contentment, and his hands come up to play with Felix’s now damp hair.
They remain like that for a while, silent and immersed in the soapy water, and for the nth time, Felix feels that pleasant, serene sensation emerge in his chest; something that feels much like… peace.
They're far away, busy kicking off a World tour, and yet, Felix has never felt more at home, than he does right here, right now; in Minho's arms.
The feeling of soft lips on his nape takes him out of his thoughts, a gesture of affection from Minho quickly followed by a sudden “Sorry.”
“What for?” Felix frowns in confusion, hands playing with the soap bubbles and suds.
“For the way I treated you earlier. For not talking to you. In the van.”
Felix turns his head then, and sees the genuine apologetic expression on Minho's face. It all clicks then; his behavior when he came in, all jittery and nervous. He just wanted to apologize.
That stirs something in his heart.
“Hyung, It's fine.” The blond says, trying to reassure his troubled self.
“I was an asshole.”
Felix moves, some of the water splashing as he turns around to face Minho, and then he gets closer, straddling both sides of Minho's thighs, settling onto his lap.
“Lee Minho.” He starts, and wraps both arms around Minho's shoulders, hands moving up to caress the back of his hair. “You weren't an asshole, I promise. I'm not upset.” This position gives him an edge over the older, who now looks up at him, eyes fixed.
“I know you, hyung. I know that you were irritated and sensitive today. There were many problems on stage and off of it, it was just chaos. And I know how hard you work and how much you want things to be good.”
Minho listens to him, eyes glued to him as his hands hold Felix's waist.
“And you being silent was you trying not to take it out on other people around you.”
Minho nods and looks down, his ears turning red.
“You've been practicing that. You weren't like that back in the day.”
The older chuckles, and holds Felix tighter, closer. “I really wasn't.”
“I know that. And I know when you're trying to be hurtful and mean. You've just never been like that to me.” He presses a kiss to Minho's cheek.
Minho pulls apart for a while, and strokes Felix's hair away from his face. For a moment he just…stares, and there's something in his eyes, a softness to his gaze that Felix almost can't take.
“I felt so bad about it. I kept thinking about how I behaved.” The older confesses. “I admit that I don't know how to deal with my feelings sometimes.” He explains, and at each word, Felix's heart just swells with tenderness and a pang of something more. “And to have you here, like this, someone who understands me like this is just…” He trails off.
“I'm so lucky.” Minho finishes, cradling Felix's jaw. The long-haired man preens, his hands trailing up Minho's nape when the other presses a kiss on his neck. He makes his way up, and up, planting kisses under his ear, and then his jaw before finally reaching Felix's lips and it's just intoxicating.
Minho's kisses are light, soft, but firm; there's no hesitation, no second guessing; he takes the lead and Felix gets lost in it, hums and whines as the older bites and sucks; their noses brush, their heads tilt, and he can feel the thud of their combined heartbeats, their growing desire, and he can't deny himself this anymore.
They eventually part but remain close; breathless, foreheads joined.
“Hyung.” Felix says against Minho's lips, wanting.
“Take me to bed tonight?”
The pitter-patter on the windowpane is a constant sound, and the window curtains rattle with the strong wind. Bright lightning lights up the sky outside; roaring furiously against the heavy rain.
The sizzling, electrifying sound which in any other occasion would have Felix shrinking in fear, now feels more like a background noise; Minho's strong hold on him and his tender gaze drowning out everything else. There's only them, right here and right now, Lee Yongbok and Lee Minho.
His heart soars.
The press of Minho's lips is soft against Felix's forehead, then his cheek, and finally his lips. The younger sighs in contentment, body relaxing as he wraps both arms around Minho's nape, then his hands make their way up, cradling the other's face.
They kiss again and again. It's languid, wet, and Felix feels almost intoxicated by how good it feels. Minho's body presses down on him, and his weight pins him down – they've done this before, but not quite like this; completely bare and vulnerable into each other's arms.
Felix feels Minho's erection graze against one of his inner thighs under the covers and lets out a whine.
“Need you.” He whispers against Minho's lips when they part. “Please.”
The older doesn't hesitate. He pulls back and picks up the bottle of lube that had been fetched by Felix from his suitcase just moments ago. He opens the cap and sits on his heels, coating his fingers with the cold liquid. Minho then places the bottle back at the far end of the mattress, and makes his way back to Felix.
The long-haired man shifts over the pillow placed below his lower back and opens his legs wider when Minho positions himself between them.
The older kisses him on the mouth again, hand already reaching down, searching for his most intimate part. Felix feels Minho's indicator circling his rim, and clenches his eyes shut as Minho presses his lube-coated finger inside him.
He sighs, heart thudding loudly. The sensation is uncomfortable at first, but Minho distracts him with his searing kisses and his caresses.
“More.” Felix asks when he's ready, and Minho begins to open him up with two fingers, now. The blond whines when the older presses in and out, and searches for Minho's lips again, pulling him down. The pleasure builds up more and more, and he moans.
“Feeling good?” Minho asks and Felix nods, biting his bottom lip.
“I need you. I need you now. Please, hyung.” He begs, opening his legs wider, and Minho kisses him hot and wet once again before he parts.
Felix watches Minho. Watches the way he licks his lips, the way he strokes himself a few times before lining up to his entrance. Felix sees the pleasure overtaking his features when he pushes in, how his mouth turns into an ‘O’, heaving long, heavy breaths. Minho curses under his breath, bites down his moan, but he doesn't thrust, not yet.
Felix, in turn, feels the overwhelming burn; the sensation of Minho's cock tearing him up inside making his eyes sting.
Minho caresses his cheek, notices his state. “Want me to pull out?” He asks, and his voice sounds so devastatingly tender, Felix almost breaks into a sob.
“No.” He shakes his head, feels the older's affectionate touch on his abs and then his sides, thumb grazing and caressing, and he wants him so much.
He's so careful, even when Felix allows him to move he starts at a slow pace; thrusting in and out languidly, searching the blond's face for any signs of discomfort.
But there isn't any, not anymore, and soon his thrusts get stronger, faster, and Felix's moans get louder along with it.
Minho grabs Felix's hips, fucks him so good, so right, he can't form a single coherent thought, and a stream of “Please,” “Yes!” “Oh, hyung please, yes!” falls from his lips.
His vision gets blurry when the other pushes down on him again and he feels his body close, warm and hot. Felix holds Minho as he drives into him, and feels something swelling in his chest.
Felix is lightheaded, completely at Minho's mercy; bewitched, almost. He feels so much, he doesn't even think he understands it. It consumes him; makes him pliant, overwhelmed with all the ways in which Minho occupies his mind – with all the ways in which Minho has him.
He feels Minho's lips collide with his own again, and then instantly tastes the salty flavor of tears between them.
It is only then that Felix realizes that he's crying.
“Yongbok,” Minho tries, concerned, but Felix just shakes his head, wrapping him into his arms, and into a long, deep kiss.
It's so passionate, so unbelievably affectionate; their bodies flushed against one another's, sharing the warmth, their breaths, reaching for something so real, something Felix never knew he was capable of feeling.
“I love you,” Felix confesses when they pull apart, sniffling. “I love you.”
Minho stares, registers the words and his face… softens. Just like that; disarmed and vulnerable above Felix, the pureness of the moment so fleeting, so precious.
The older kisses him in lieu of saying it back, but he doesn't even need to.
Felix already knows.
They finish moments after, holding each other tight, whispering sweet nothings into each other's lips.
They end up telling the members about it eventually, over bottles of soju in the living room, all of them reunited in some kind of gathering.
It had seemed Ike the perfect moment.
It went as well as it possibly could have. Chan was surprised, both as the leader and as their friend, but once he got over his initial shock, he was overwhelmingly positive and supportive – Minho even had to push him away when he'd squeezed him into a hug too tight.
Seungmin, in turn, almost laughed, proudly saying he was not only not surprised, but also had seen it coming.
“What?” Minho scoffed at the time. “You're such a liar, Kim Seungmin.”
“Well, I hate to say it, but you were kind of obvious.” Seungmin shrugged, biting on some chips. “All bright-eyed and clingy around Yongbok. I'd never seen you like that. Like, with anyone.” He'd said, and Felix sent Minho a fond glance when he noticed the other's ears going red.
The others were also surprised – the youngest most of all – but overall they were more curious than anything. ‘How did it begin?’ ‘Who made the first move?’ ‘How will you act now with each other?’
and a ‘Whatever you do, just please don't kiss in front of me.’ That came from Changbin, causing all the others to burst into laughter.
Informing the company, however, had been a different story, and a little more bothersome. But after they sat down in a meeting which went over all the ‘dos and don'ts’ of how to act with each other in public now that they were in a relationship (and clarified that whatever happened, they would not let it get in the way of the group and the relationship between the members), both Felix and Minho were dismissed.
Months go by, and the relationship between Felix and Minho only strengthens.
What was once a courteous and light relationship gradually turns into a deeper bond, a type of connection Felix has never really had with anyone else before.
With the changes in the group's dorm arrangement, all the members now lived separately, and with permission from the company, Minho and Felix now lived together, just the two of them.
Waking up next to Minho every day feels just right, Felix thinks. Knowing that he's there, seeing him every morning, getting to hug and to hold and to love him…nothing makes him happier.
Sometimes they have movie nights, and sometimes they go to cozy cafés together.
Sometimes Minho brings him flowers, and other times he takes Felix to the most luxurious restaurants he knows.
They burst out laughing in the middle of the living room floor sometimes, and have fun with the dumbest stuff – card games, Minho's stupid jokes.
“I love you.” He hears Minho say it one time; the first time. Minho is on top of Felix on the couch, tickling him after having run after him, and Felix is heaving with laughter, red in the face. Minho has mercy on him and stops; stares at him for a little while, and…he says it, just like that. Sincere, honest.
Minho's just so honest and it hurts to feel like this. Felix loves him. And Minho loves him back.
Felix already knew it, there was no doubt about it – what they had was different. It was not a fleeting fling or an adventurous infatuation, no. This was something else.
But he'd been unknowingly waiting to hear those words from Minho, it seems – words the older had never said to him, not even after moving in together.
Felix never pressured him, never felt the need to; he knew him, knew to respect his boundaries and if he was not comfortable with it, it was fine.
But as soon as the words left Lee Know's mouth, they went straight into his heart and bubbled up in his throat, forming a knot and before he knew it his face scrunched up, and he let out a sob.
Minho was alarmed initially, and Felix knew it just from the way he called his name, asking what was wrong.
After understanding the importance of the moment and what it meant for the other, though, he was quick to act. He scooped up Felix in his arms, so warm, so loving and wiped his tears; confessing over and over words that undid Felix as much as healed him:
“I love you.”
“Yongbok-ah, I'm home.” Felix hears Minho say in the living room, his voice alone enough to coax a smile out of the younger.
He's in the kitchen, fixing his apron after almost being done baking a caramel pudding (Lee Know's favorite).
He'd been watching a lot of youtube tutorials and reading internet recipes on how to make them since months ago (ever since he realized how much the other man truly loved that dessert).
Felix had wanted to surprise him, do something nice. With the group's busy schedules, however, he had no time to actually make it.
But now that the end of the year period had already passed (the time of the year when they were the busiest), and all the members had been granted some time off, both Minho and Felix decided to spend these two weeks together.
For Felix it was just the perfect opportunity to put in practice his surprise. Hence, while Minho had been out to run some errands, Felix had started baking the other's favorite dessert. He desperately hoped that it would turn out alright.
“Oh, here you are. Yongbok-ah, the whole apartment smells like pudding.” Minho says in an amused tone as he enters the kitchen, already pressing a kiss to Felix's cheek. “You've been cooking something?” He asks when pulls away, noticing Felix's apron.
“No, I'm baking.” Felix corrects with a smile that Minho catches. The older man looks behind him, then, noticing the ingredients he used which are still on the sink, and it clicks.
“You're making pudding?” He asks, eyebrows shooting up in surprise and Felix swears his eyes shine, his enthusiasm almost child-like. It makes Felix’s heart swell with fondness, and he nods.
“I've been wanting to make it for a while. You love it so much, so.” He shrugs, and once he coyly looks at Minho again, he notices the softness in his expression. The tenderness of it all makes Felix’s cheeks heat.
Minho leans forward, gives him a peck on the lips, and the blond closes his eyes, savoring it before the older pulls away.
“Thank you.”
“Oh hyung don't thank me yet, I don't know if it'll taste good.” Felix tells him, suddenly self-conscious. “I followed the recipe faithfully, though.”
Minho chuckles, and tucks a strand of Felix's hair behind his ear.
“I'd be a fool not to appreciate your efforts. You didn't have to do this. So thank you.” He presses a quick kiss on Felix's nose freckles. The blond smiles.
“And I'm sure it will taste great.”
°••°
Felix is looking at Minho from across the table, his chin resting on his palm, just watching him eat the pudding.
This is Minho's 3rd serving already, and he hasn't stopped humming as he digs in, his expressions relaxed and delighted. Seeing him like this, Felix understands the appeal of cooking and the happiness some people feel at seeing others enjoy the food they make.
“Seriously, this is better than the ones I buy at the convenience store. This is so good.” Minho praises again, genuinely, filling Felix's chest with warmth and pride.
They clean up together afterwards, washing the dishes side by side in the double bowl kitchen sink. Their shoulders and hips touch from time to time, and Felix can't help but feel that flutter inside his ribcage.
The light from outside filters in through the window, and they hear the birds sing. It's a tranquil afternoon, some kind of peace settling in between their comfortable silence.
Later, at night, they end up at a jazz bar – intimate, yet sophisticated. Minho has a suit on, and he looks more charming than ever.
The lights are dimmed in the establishment, the tables far away from one another so the guests (mostly couples) can have their privacy. They talk over glasses of champagne, flirt as if they're on their first date.
The hours pass, and the blond sits next to Minho instead of across from him, the latter's arm draping over his shoulder. Felix settles in the crook of Minho's neck, holding the hand that's hanging off his shoulder, intertwining their fingers together.
They enjoy the live music, and Minho kisses his temple. They drink some more, and Minho kisses him some more; past the spot below his ear, and then he plants a kiss on his neck. Felix shudders, and looks at Minho.
The other stares back, and the atmosphere changes a little. Felix looks down at Minho's lips, then trails up his gaze back to his own. There's a glint there, one he recognizes too well.
It's time to go home.
..
They make love that night; slow and tender. Minho's hands roam Felix's body with devotion-like care, his touch carefully tearing him apart and putting him back together.
Felix holds onto Minho as the other drives into him, his nails raking down his back, kissing him as passionately as he feels. They look at each other, confess love into each other's lips. Felix calls Minho's name like a mantra, arches his back with pleasure and bliss.
--
They're facing each other, way past their high; both under the covers. Felix has his head resting over Minho's outstretched arm, and the latter traces Felix's freckles with his other hand.
“Yongbok.” He hears Minho whisper in the dead of the night. Minho looks beautiful, almost unreal with his hair slightly tousled, eyes big and vulnerable, with a depth to them that'll always take his breath away.
“Yes?” Felix responds, voice wobbly with emotion.
“You're the love of my life.” He confesses, and it's like time stops.
The words, his voice, him. Felix's heart lurches, his heartbeat picks up.
His eyes sting, and he shifts closer. Minho holds him tighter, takes his now trembling hand into his own and lifts it up to his lips, pressing a delicate kiss on it.
“Say it again, please.” Felix whispers.
“You're the love of my life, Lee Yongbok.” Minho repeats, sincerity oozing out of him. "You are."
The blond breaks into a smile, teary, and their noses brush.
He understands now. All the songs, all the stories and the poems, the paintings and the novels. All about love. This is it. Something which transcends time, which connects souls.
He feels it, deep in his core – this inevitable pull, this ravishing feeling. Felix belongs to Minho – mind, body, soul – wholly, forever. He loves him. He always will.
Felix kisses him again.