Work Text:
Buck: hello karen how are you on this lovely day?
Karen: Hi Buck, is everything ok?
Buck: ofc! i'm just reaching out to my close personal friend to see how you're doing!!!!
Karen: Oh well that's good. I'm doing well, just on my lunch break
Buck: i love lunch!!! we have so much in common
Karen: Oh that's what this is…
Buck: what are you talking about i'm just chatting with my good friend who I love
Karen: You're jealous of Hen and Eddie's friendship so you're using me to make them jealous
Buck: no i'm not!!! i just think you're really cool and we should talk more, we have so much in common we're practically twins
Buck: in fact i'm changing your name in my phone
Contact successfully changed to BFFL
BFFL : So your plan is to keep texting a "BFFL" until Eddie gets so jealous he explodes?
Buck: well and we hang out and stuff
Buck: bc you're so cool!! not to make eddie jealous
BFFL: What's in it for me?
Buck: you get to hang out with me? maybe make your wife a little jealous
BFFL: Now why would I, an adult with healthy communication skills, want to make my wife jealous?
Buck: you don't think jealousy is a little hot?
BFFL: Oh god I'm stuck in the middle of your weird mating ritual with Eddie, aren't I?
Buck: omg i'm not in love with eddie
BFFL: And when did i say that? 🤨
Buck: haha anyway
Buck: are you in or not?
BFFL: I'm going to need more than just making my wife jealous. Which will not happen, because we're both lesbians and not insane.
Buck: i'll do your yard work for the next three months
BFFL: And drain the gutters
Buck: deal
Buck: omg eddie texted me i have to go
BFFL: Wait! If you're going to make him jealous you can't respond to his texts right away
Buck: but what if it's an emergency?
BFFL: Aren't you guys at the fire station?
Buck: oh well yeah
Buck: but i'm in the kitchen and he's staring at me from the dining table
BFFL: I can't believe I'm helping you right now. Take a deep breath. Laugh at your phone at then lock it. Go sit next to Eddie and I'll text you something so it comes up on your lock screen for Eddie to see
Buck: holy shit you're a genius
Buck: locking phone now
BFFL: You're such a great friend. Can't wait to see you this weekend!
Eddie DiASS: Buck who are you talking to?
Eddie DiASS: Buck?
Eddie DiASS: Buck respond to me this medical call Hen and I are on is a joke
Eddie DiASS: I saw your phone before Hen and I left, who is your BFFL?
Eddie DiASS: I know it's not me because my name in your phone is Eddie DiASS. Which… speaking of can you change that?
Buck: oh sorry eddie i was just talking to my friend
Eddie DiASS: Who?
Buck: i have lots of friends outside of you
Eddie DiASS: Gotcha, I'll stop bothering you then.
Buck: no!!!! i love when you bother me!!!!
Buck: the bffl thing is just an inside joke between me and karen
Eddie DiASS: You and Karen have inside jokes?
Buck: yeah we hang out sometimes… you must not have noticed because you've been so busy hanging out with her wife
Eddie DiASS: I guess, anyway do you want to get dinner tonight after work?
Buck: yes!! let me just make sure karen didn't want to hang out
Eddie DiASS: So what if she did? I asked you first
Eddie DiASS: And it's Hen and Karen's date night tonight. I thought as her BFFL you would know that.
Buck: haha right i knew that, totally
Buck: just slipped my mind
Buck: can we do curry tonight?
Eddie DiASS: Sure we can go to the place Chris doesn't like since he's going out with friends
Buck: is that child ever home?
Eddie DiASS: One of his friends has a car, and being a weird teenager in a taco bell is a rite of passage apparently
Buck: wait do you think he'll get me a baja blast?
Eddie DiASS: Please don't make the child run errands for you
Buck: what's the point of having a teenager if I can't boss him around?
Eddie DiASS: Gotta go, finally done with this stupid call. Be back in ten.
Buck: hello gamer
Chris (three apples tall): you are decrepit
Buck: getting dinner with your dad, will you bring me a baja blast when you come home?
Chris (three apples tall): are you paying for my meal?
Buck: i've paid for every meal you've gotten at taco bell since you were eight
Chris (three apples tall): real
Chris (three apples tall): one baja blast coming up
Buck: yay love you!!!!
Chris (three apples tall): yeah yeah whatever have fun on your date with dad
Buck: can two men not get curry together platonically
Chris (three apples tall): not you and dad no
Chris (three apples tall): also ew from the place with the weird mural?
Buck: the food is soooo good!!!!! it's not their fault!!!! the owners niece painted it and they know it's bad but they don't want to upset her
Chris (three apples tall): maybe they should just be brave and admit their feelings
Buck: wow that's very grown up advice
Chris (three apples tall): yeah, maybe everyone should take my advice
Buck: haha yeah anyway have to go the alarms are going off
Chris (three apples tall): i fear i'm on a call with dad rn and the alarms are not going off
Buck: whoa that's so weird i'm going to go call the alarm repair man ok bye
Buck: i may have fucked up slightly
BFFL: Hang on let me just pause my research that may change society forever
BFFL: Alright, what's up?
Buck: eddie asked me who i was texting, and he was jealous!!!! but then he asked me to dinner
BFFL: This all sounds good
BFFL: I mean it sounds insane, but that's your baseline
Buck: it was good and then i mentioned it to chris and chris called it a date
BFFL: Is that not your end goal? Sorry I'm good at my job??? If you didn't want to be successful you shouldn't have hired the most competent bitch you know
Buck: no!!!! my end goal was to make eddie jealous so he'd spend more time with me, not make another person think i'm in love with eddie
BFFL: another person?
Buck: maddie and t*mmy and now chris
BFFL: Your sister, your ex-boyfriend and the child you think of as a son all think you're in love with Eddie?
Buck: uh, when you put it like that it sounds bad
BFFL: Not bad, but I'm confused. You are in love with Eddie, right?
Buck: karen no!!! i just care a lot about him and want him to devote all of his attention to me
BFFL: Right…
BFFL: You also find it hot when he's jealous?
Buck: i mean i guess, but everything eddie does is hot, he's eddie. even your wife said he was hot
BFFL: So you're attracted to him, care about him deeply, co-parent with him, and want him to pay attention to you all of the time, but you're NOT in love with him
Buck: exactly! thank god someone gets it
BFFL: No no, I'm not done. Can I ask why you're not in love with Eddie?
Buck: eddie is straight
BFFL: Buck, I'm a scientist I'm going to need more
Buck: what more do you need? eddie is straight so i can't be in love with him
Buck: because if i was in love with him i'd be hopelessly pining over someone who will never love me the same and i'll ruin the most important relationship in my life.
BFFL: So, those are all reasons why it would be bad to be in love with Eddie. Not reasons you're not in love with him
Buck: oh
Buck: oh fuck
BFFL: So?
Buck: i may be slightly in love with eddie
Buck: what do i do now?
BFFL: Kiss him on the mouth
Buck: he's still straight
BFFL: No comment
Buck: how am i going to survive dinner with him tonight?
BFFL: The same way you survived dinner with him every other time
Buck: i wasn't in love with him every other time!!!
BFFL: I think we just established you were
Buck: but i didn't know!!!! now i do. i'm going to imagine kissing him over curry
BFFL: Have him order something really stinky
Buck: he could eat a live rat and i'd still want to kiss him
BFFL: Wow full 180 from not being in love with him, huh?
Buck: i'm a firefighter i'm good at adapting quickly
BFFL: wait you're having curry tonight?
Buck: yeah, at this place eddie and i love but chris hates
BFFL: The one with the really good food but a freaky painting so no one is ever there?
Buck: yeah! do you know it?
BFFL: That's where Hen and I are going for date night
BFFL: Hen said someone recommended it to her. I'm now realizing it was Eddie
Buck: HE'S RECOMMENDING OUR PLACE TO HEN???!
BFFL: Buck, focus. I think I have a way to help you, but I'm going to need you to throw in another month of lawn maintenance and you have to change the chain on Mara's bike
Buck: sure, anything please help
BFFL: If we're both going there for dinner tonight, we could all sit together. That way Hen and I can intervene if you get too embarrassing
Buck: karen you're genius
Buck: thank you thank you thank you thank you
Karen: Just traded away date night in exchange for four months of yard work and replacing Mara's bike chain
Hen: Baby, what?
Hen: I was looking forward to their garlic naan, Eddie said it was really good
Karen: Oh we're getting that naan baby. We just have to sit with Buck and Eddie
Hen: We're double dating with the idiots? Why didn't Eddie tell me?
Karen: Jfc you really do talk about Eddie a lot
Hen: Oh Buck got to you didn't he
Karen: A little, but I may or may not have gotten Buck to admit he's in love with Eddie
Hen: Oh shit!
Hen: How did you do that in one day? It took me three weeks to get Eddie to say it
Karen: I'm me
Hen: You're right my bad
Karen: Buck is really not handling your friendship well
Hen: Yeah, I think the whale documentary sent him over the edge
Karen: YOU WENT TO A DOCUMENTARY WITHOUT ME?
Hen: Not at first! We were going to see that new gay movie, but Eddie had a panic attack halfway through so we snuck into a whale documentary instead
Hen: Turns out Eddie's really into Ewan McGregor
Karen: Oh, was this the day that Eddie came out to you?
Hen: Yeah, and I've had to deal with his pining gay ass ever since
Karen: Well, get ready to deal with them at dinner!
Four pretty best friends
Hen: Maddie, you are the strongest soldier on the planet
Maddie: Oh god, what did Buck do this time?
Karen: We're out to dinner with him and Eddie
Chim: enough said, thoughts and prayers
Hen: There's an uncomfortable amount of sexual tension in this family owned Indian restaurant
Chim: more or less than eddie's first shift?
Hen: More.
Karen: Buck knows.
Maddie: No fucking way?!
Karen: Way. Cracked that egg this morning
Maddie: How?!
Hen: Buck's trying to make Eddie jealous using my wife
Chim: if i have to meet with hr i'm going to kill buck
Karen: Hey! You leave my bffl alone
Hen: Oh my god you're really committing to this huh?
Maddie: Hang on, if you're at dinner with them are they not mad you're spending the whole time texting?
Karen: Oh they fully forgot we're here
Hen: Karen asked Buck about his opinions on the Philadelphia zoo and he's been on a monologue for the last fifteen minutes
Karen: And Eddie's been staring at him the whole time looking lovesick
Chim: heart eyes howell core
Hen: ???
Maddie: Huh?
Chim: oh y'all aren't fucking with dan and phil?
Karen: I have two children and a PhD
Chim: and dan and phil have a sixteen year long profound love, what's your point?
Maddie: Howie, who are Dan and Phil?
Chim: youtubers, ravi and i binged a bunch of their videos when we covered for B shift last weekend
Maddie: Oh, that's nice…
Hen: GAY UPDATE
Hen: Eddie just wiped sauce away from the corner of Buck's mouth
Karen: Buck bluescreened gtg
Hen: Karen is weirdly good at keeping Buck's foot out of his mouth
Chim: your wife is weirdly good at everything
Hen: I know that's right
Buck: thank you for being there tonight. if you weren't there i would have tried to kiss him
BFFL: Which I still think is the correct move
Buck: karen pls
BFFL: Alright moving on
BFFL: What's our next step? I'm weirdly invested now
Buck: wait really?!
BFFL: Chris is hanging out at ours this weekend, want to join? You can already be at the house when Chris drops Eddie off
Buck: wait that's evil,,, i'm in
BFFL: Be there at 10, bring bagels from the bakery by your place
Buck: 🫡🫡🫡
Kids Table
Chrissypoo: buck how was your double date? you ran out of the house pretty fast after getting baja blasted
MayDay: buck!! you had a date?!
Buckaroo: it wasn't a date!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was with eddie and hen and karen
Harry freakin' Grant: henren mention, big win for lesbians
Wafflehouse: we should get your head examined
Harry freakin' Grant: sorry they're my moms now
MayDay: lowkey true i caught harry googling adult adoption yesterday
Wafflehouse: sorry i already have an adopted sibling don't need more
Chrissypoo: can we circle back to buck and my dad??
Ravioli: oh god can we please keep the buddie agenda out of the groupchat i get enough of it at work
Buckaroo: what is buddie?
MayDay: it's a new mental illness they just discovered
Wafflehouse: wrong it's been around since 2019 and we've all been suffering ever since
Ravioli: BUck + eDDIE =buddie
Buckaroo: oh no
Buckaroo: am i that obvious
Harry freakin' Grant: yes
MayDay: yes
Wafflehouse: yes
Chrissypoo: yes
Ravioli: yes
Buckaroo: guys pls i only found out today
MayDay: aw he's stupid!
Ravioli: sorry,,, you didn't know you in love with eddie when you dragged me to a bar and hooked up with tommy?
Chrissypoo: oh that's a lore drop
Buckaroo: ravi!!!!! stfu!!!!!!
Buckaroo: everyone below the age of eighteen erase that knowledge from your memory
Wafflehouse: gladly
Buckaroo: can we talk about literally anything else
Wafflehouse: no bc mom just told me you're crashing Chris and i's hang this weekend
Chrissypoo: does dad know?
Buckaroo: he'll know when he drops you off
Ravioli: wait are you using hen to make eddie jealous because you're jealous of hen and eddie's friendship?
Buckaroo: no!!!!!!!!
Buckaroo: i'm using karen to make eddie jealous
Buckaroo: completely different
MayDay: you're aware that hen and karen are lesbians correct?
Buckaroo: i'm trying to make him platonically jealous not romantically jealous
Buckaroo: i think
Buckaroo: that was the original plan,,, i'm confused
Harry freakin' Grant: buck confused
Harry freakin' Grant: fork found in kitchen
Buckaroo: man, can someone in this chat be nice to me for once
MayDay: sorry buck, i think your actions are incredibly normal and this whole plan seems like it's going to work out perfectly
Chrissypoo: liars go to hell
Harry freakin' Grant: ^^^^^
Wafflehouse: buck will you bring food when you come
Buckaroo: your mom already requested bagels
Wafflehouse: fuck yeah, as long as i'm benefiting from your intricate rituals i'm in
Ravioli: you realize i have a shift with buck and eddie after this weekend right? how am i going to survive that?
Harry freakin' Grant: we all have to make sacrifices for buddie canon ravi
Harry freakin' Grant: i, for instance, dropped out of school
MayDay: wayyyyy too soon
Chrissypoo: i've had to watch them flirt with each other nearly every day since i moved to LA i think you can handle a shift ravi
Ravioli: i'm not as brave as you chris
Chrissypoo: then suffer
New Group Created
Chris: that was so gay
Denny: watching Eddie be torn between wanting to glare at mom and also being really afraid of her was so funny
Hen: Did you see the way he tripped down the stairs? Karen, babe, I didn't realize the full comedic potential of this situation
Karen: I'm a genius, I know
Chris: karen do you think you can get them to kiss this week? we have teacher conferences and i'd rather not confuse my hs teachers as much as i confused my elementary ones
Denny: buck comes to your parent teacher conferences?!
Chris: "hi ms. poulter this is my dad, and this is my dads homoerotic best friend. can you tell them how good at math i am?"
Karen: A week is a tight turn around, but I'll do my best
Chris: thank you legend
Hen: Eddie just texted me asking if I wanted to get coffee before our shift. I'll work on it from that end
Chris: take him to a gay bar
Hen: Your father isn't ready for a gay bar
Chris: so you admit you think he's gay?
Hen: No comment.
Chris: booooooo
BFFL: Alright for our next step we need to do something you and Eddie normally do together
Buck: we typically just do normal best friend stuff,,, go out to dinner, go on adventures, cuddle on the couch that kind of stuff
BFFL: Can you pick something less gay?
Buck: you're gay!!!!!
BFFL: yeah but not like that
Buck: you could bring me coffee at work? i know it's kinda dumb but eddie takes a lot of pride in being the only one to know my coffee order
BFFL: Hen and Chim don't know your coffee order?
Buck: when i was a probie they asked me what my coffee order was and i didn't want to be complicated so i asked for a white mocha, but i'd rather have an oat milk latte with cold foam and a pump of raspberry syrup
Buck: eddie's the only one who noticed i get something different when i order
BFFL: that's so gay
Buck: karen please don't get my hopes up. eddie is straight.
BFFL: Sorry, I'll bring coffee to the fire house, can you send me everyone's orders?
Buck: shared a note with you
BFFL: have you updated this recently?
Buck: no???
BFFL: So you've always had Eddie's name written with three pink hearts afterward?
Buck: yeah he just give pink heart vibes
BFFL: Eddie Diaz ,with the silver star, gives pink heart vibes
Buck: yeah watch this
Buck: 💕💕💕eddie💕💕💕
Buck: doesn't that just look correct?
BFFL: if you say so…
Kids Table
Ravioli: if one of you venmos me twenty dollars i'll live react to the gay shit going on in the firehouse rn
Harry freakin' Grant: i have no money
Wafflehouse: me when my actions have consequences
Harry freakin' Grant: stfu
MayDay: how about i venmo you nothing and i won't tell you know who about the cheesecake incident
Chrissypoo: gonna need a lore reveal for that later
Ravioli: fuck ok good point
Ravioli: karen is here and eddie is fuming
Harry freakin' Grant: can't realate, when i see my mother Karen Wilson i'm overcome with joy
Wafflehouse: therapy pls!!!!!
Ravioli: anyway so karen brought us all coffee which is so sweet!!!
Ravioli: i think she got buck's order wrong??? bc eddie took one look at it and was FUMING
Chrissypoo: wait was it a hot coffee or cold
Ravioli: cold
Chrissypoo: oh wow buck you're crazy for that
Wafflehouse: wait why?
Chrissypoo: buck has a special favorite coffee that he only lets dad order him, the others get him hot coffee
Harry freakin' Grant: and buck let mom order that for him?
Wafflehouse: NOT YOUR MOM
MayDay: @buckaroo care to comment on your actions??
Buckaroo: eddie rearranged his plans with hen so we could go to the planetarium and get tacos tomorrow 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
Chrissypoo: you're a freak
Raviloi: karen and buck just did a secret handshake before she left and istg i saw steam come out of eddie's ears
Buckaroo: eddie said he has something important to tell me after tacos tomorrow
Buckaroo: do you think he wants to get matching best friend tattoos???!!!
Wafflehouse: i'm going to have mom study you in a lab
Gay Parent Support Group
ChrisTOEpher: phase one complete: dad came out to me today
Town MAYor: are we allowed to know this?
ChrisTOEpher: buck's finding out in twenty minutes when they get back from their "not date" so after that legally yes
DW from Arthur: welcome to the club officially, i of course remain superior bc i have lesbian moms, but you're in second place
How harry if bald: denny we've talked about this henren are my moms now too
DW from Arthur: i'm begging you to go to therapy bro
How harry if bald: acab includes athena grant
Town MAYor: and i've always said that
ChrisTOEpher: can y'all keep your mommy issues out of the chat we have to lock in
ChrisTOEpher: buck is here
DW from Arthur: ten bucks says they kiss
Town MAYor: ten bucks says he bucks it up
ChrisTOEpher: shhhh
ChrisTOEpher: ok dad is telling him
How harry if bald: what did buck say
ChrisTOEpher: nothing, he's just staring at dad
Town MAYor: uh oh
ChrisTOEpher: oh fuck buck just yelled "that's cool, i have plans with karen i forgot about"
DW form Arthur: completely rizzless
ChrisTOEpher: and he ran out of the house
ChrisTOEpher: his keys are still on the table
ChrisTOEpher: oh he's fully running down the sidewalk
Town MAYor: denny i accept payment through venmo, zelle or sims gift cards
How harry if bald: oh shit we have ourselves a gamer
DW from Arthur: i really thought i was going to win that one
How harry if bald: never bet against may bro
Buck: how many months of yard work would it take for you to pick me up?
BFFL: Where are you?
Buck: somewhere between seven and ten blocks from Eddie's house
Buck: he came out and i just started running
Buck: i told him we have plans
BFFL: Plans you needed to run to?
Buck: Buck shared his location
BFFL: Be there in ten
Kids table
Chrissypoo: buck buckley wtf is wrong with you
Buckaroo: sorry for not saying goodbye, i forgot i had something planned with karen
Wafflehouse: i'm literally with mom and i watched her pull a Uey to come get you so try again
Harry freakin' Grant: my question is why didn't you go back into the house to get your keys
MayDay: harry come get in the car we're going to chris's house
Wafflehouse: wait i'd rather come to chris's why do we have to pick up the cringe fail
MayDay: sorry you're stuck with buck, harry and i are bringing ice cream to eddie
Ravioli: hey wtf is happening, why is my phone exploding at frolf
Harry freakin' Grant: ravi we don't have time to mock you right now
Ravioli: damn ok
Wafflehouse: were you silent or were you silenced?!
Chrissypoo: long story short dad came out to buck and instead of kissing him buck was a cringe fail and fully ran away
Wafflehouse: like ran ran
Wafflehouse: mom, and i just picked him up on the side of the road like a hitchhiker
Buckaroo: why are you bringing eddie ice cream?
Chrissypoo: dad said hen is en route as well fyi
MayDay: i don't know, buck, why would i bring someone ice cream after they just came out to their best friend and their best friend ran away?!?!
Buckaroo: oh
Buckaroo: i really fucked up didn't i?
Ravioli: yeah this is not your best moment
Ravioli: not your worst tbf but still bad
Buckaroo: wtf do i do?
MayDay: just go to henren's house and let karen fix this pls
Everyone with a functioning braincell:
Hen: Hi everyone this is mara i'm typing for my mama because she's driving to Eddie's, but she said we had to make this group to deal with the stupid boys
Maddie: Hi Mara! What did my brother and Eddie do now?
Ravi: Eddie came out to Buck and Buck ran away in fear
Chim: jfc
Karen: hello denny here! transcribing for mom who is also driving. we have buck in the car because he ran from eddie's home without car keys
Maddie: Denny honey can you tell buck "what the fuck?"
Karen: he says he's going to go raise llamas in peru
Chim: good
Karen: so how are we fixing this?
Hen: We're heading to Eddie's house with May and Harry to patch things over
Karen: mom and i are taking buck back to ours to figure out a game plan
Chim: mads has already gotten in the car and she's headed to the wilsons
Karen: buck heard that and turned white and threw his head in his hands
Chim: good he should be afraid
Ravi: i'm at frolf, but lmk if i can help
Chim: i think the girls have it handled rav
Ravi: bet
Gay Parent Support Group
ChrisTOEpher: sos does anyone have eyes on dad
How harry if bald: he said he was going to the bathroom
Town MAYor: i'm in the bathroom
Chrissypoo: oh fuck
DW from Arthur: now how the fuck did you guys lose eddie
How harry if bald: i was putting whipped cream on the ice cream!!!
Town MAYor: i was literally peeing!!!
Chrissypoo: he locked himself in his room
DW from Arthur: update i can no longer judge buck locked himself in the bathroom
Town MAYor: this is either going to go so well or so bad
Buck: eddie
Eddie DiASS: I don't really want to talk to you right now
Buck: i know and i'm sorry
Buck: i panicked
Eddie DiASS: Yeah, I noticed
Buck: it's not about you, i mean it kind of is
Buck: but it's not about you being gay!!!! that's so great and i'm so proud of you!!!!
Eddie DiASS: It's kind of hard to believe that when you ran away
Buck: i know, but eddie i promise it's not what you think
Eddie DiASS: I don't even know what to think, Buck.
Eddie DiASS: First you make all of these plans without me, and start spending time with Karen instead of me
Eddie DiASS: Now you run away when I come out to you
Buck: eddie, i just
Buck: god, idk i just figured something out and now i'm going a little insane
Eddie DiASS: So you figured me out and this is your way of letting me down easy?
Buck: let you down easy? huh?
Eddie DiASS: You figured out that I'm in love with you
Buck: no!!! i figured out that i'm in love with you
Buck: wait what???
Buck: eddie
Eddie DiASS: You're in love with me?
Buck: you're in love with me?
Eddie DiASS: Jfc why are we doing this over text? Call me
Contact successfully changed to 💕💕💕eddie💕💕💕
💕💕💕eddie💕💕💕: All it took was me confessing my love for you to change that fucking contact?
Contact successfully changed to Buck 🩵
Buck 🩵: i'm still a big fan of your ass tbf
💕💕💕eddie💕💕💕: you're an idiot, can you come home now?
Buck 🩵: on my way
Gay Parent Support Group
ChrisTOEpher: dad's giggling from the bedroom
DW from Arthur: buck is too
How harry if bald: did we do it?
Town MAYor: wtf did you do harry?
How harry if bald: teamwork makes the dream work
DW from Arthur: oop we're taking buck back to your house
DW from Arthur: chris want to come to our house?
ChrisTOEpher: yes pls, i don't want to deal with the tension
Town MAYor: i'll round up everyone and we can reconvene at the wilsons
How harry if bald: family bonding!!!
DW from Arthur: bro i will have may and my moms leave you behind
How harry if bald: you would really leave me with buck and eddie while they consummate their relationship???!!
ChrisTOEpher: bro those are my dads don't talk about that
DW from Arthur: don't worry bestie we'll be there in ten minutes to both deliver and save you from your gay dads
Buck: we'll come pick chris up after lunch if that's ok with you
BFFL: Of course, please cover any hickies or bruises you may have. Christopher doesn't need to be traumatized again
Buck: karen if the love of your life confessed his love to you over the phone you would also jump into his arms and kiss him once you saw him again
BFFL: Not if I was surrounded by children and innocent lesbians
Buck: i'm sorrrrry
BFFL: Mmmhmm, anything else you'd like to say to me?
Buck: oh yes!!!! thank you so so so much
Buck: making eddie jealous worked so well
Buck: speaking of, eddie told me i should change your contact name, but i kind of like it
BFFL: I kind of like it too, in fact
Contact successfully changed to Buck (BFFL)
Buck (BFFL): love you bestie!!!!!
BFFL: Love you too, bestie
BFFL: But please never involve me in your stupid shit again ❤️