Chapter Text
“Juju, wake up!”
Euijoo heard Nicholas call his name. It was rare for Nicholas to wake up before him, but ever since they’d come to Taipei for the holidays, Nicholas had been up early every morning, going to the market with his family or playing basketball with his old friends.
Euijoo had come along since his parents were in Europe and he wanted to rest. When Nicholas suggested Taipei, he said yes without thinking twice. Now he was curled up in his crush’s bedroom, blanket pulled over his face.
Nicholas yanked the blanket away and grabbed his arms, dragging him upright. Euijoo swayed, half-asleep, and yawned. If he could, he’d sleep all day. Idol life was exhausting and being leader made it worse. He groaned, trying to push Nicholas away, but the older only laughed.
“Come on, you’ve slept too much. Time for breakfast.”
“Argh!” Euijoo groaned again, but Nicholas was already pulling him toward the bathroom. His wrist tingled where Nicholas had gripped him. The sleep snapped out of his eyes.
The bathroom floor felt cold beneath his feet when he looked at his reflection. Nicholas took the toothbrush he’d brought for him, squeezed toothpaste on it, and pressed it against Euijoo’s lips. Euijoo, being a menace, refused to open his mouth.
“Come on, Juju, don’t be a baby.”
Euijoo smirked.
Nicholas sighed, yanked him closer by the waist, and that was enough to make Euijoo gasp. He hated how reactive he was.
Nicholas shoved the brush into his mouth and laughed at his dumbstruck face.
“I’ll do it myself,” Euijoo muttered, pulling away and hiding the blush creeping up his cheeks. Nicholas narrowed his eyes, suspicious, then left the bathroom still laughing.
Everyone knew Euijoo and Nicholas were best friends. Fans shipped them. Their bandmates loved their constant bickering. But no one knew that one of them was hopelessly in love with the other. And that was Euijoo.
It had been terrifying when he first woke up one morning to find his underwear wet after a dream about his older bandmate. He’d cursed loudly in Korean, waking Nicholas, who groaned and told him to shut up. Panicked, Euijoo ran to the bathroom, realizing for the first time that he might not be straight. Or maybe he was bi. He did like girls, didn’t he? For a moment, he’d just stood there, heart thudding in his throat, too scared to even breathe.
Everything changed after that, quietly but completely.
Those questions never left his head. He started watching Nicholas differently. The way he moved in practice, the curve of his smile, that stupid red hair. Euijoo wasn’t sure when things changed. All he knew was that they had. And he could never say it out loud. That wouldn’t be good for anyone. His heart cracked every time he thought about it.
He didn’t have the courage to face any of it, so he buried those feelings deep. They came out only at night, when he was alone, when his body betrayed him with memories of Nicholas’s touch. He hated how easily he shivered when their fingers brushed, or their arms grazed. Nicholas, being a clueless idiot, would just raise an eyebrow and move on.
Now, staying at his crush’s house, after being held by the person he wanted most, Euijoo realized this trip might not have been the best idea. His body could betray him again, and this time his heart might not survive it.
He pushed the thought down, forcing himself to breathe normally.
He finished brushing, went to the living room, and helped the Wang family set the table for breakfast. The soft chatter and clinking dishes grounded him for a moment. Nicholas’s parents were warm people. Euijoo often thought about how lucky he was to have Nicholas, his bandmates, and their families. They had all become family to him. It was something he’d always be grateful for.
After breakfast, Nicholas and Euijoo goofed around in his room, playing video games and scrolling through Instagram. Euijoo’s guilty pleasure was watching Nichojoo edits. He giggled to himself thinking fans were so dramatic, turning every little moment into something romantic.
“What are you giggling at?” Nicholas asked.
Euijoo stiffened, praying to any god listening that Nicho wouldn’t figure out what he’s doing. “Nothing,” he said too fast.
“It’s not nothing. Come on, show me.”
Nicholas lunged for his phone, but Euijoo had quick reflexes. He jumped back, holding it high. His pulse kicked up as he dodged him. “You’re so annoying, Weno. Go away.”
“I’m not. You love me, I know you do. Show me.”
Euijoo stuck out his tongue. He barely teased Nicholas first as it was usually the other way around. Nicholas smirked and suddenly lunged again. They crashed onto the bed in a mess of limbs. Euijoo froze for a moment.
Too close.
But soon the thought faded away as they wrestled for the phone, all laughs and giggles. Euijoo clutched it tight, laughing so hard he could barely breathe.
Then Nicholas pinched his waist.
Euijoo gasped, the phone slipping from his hands. Nicholas caught it easily.
His face turned red when he saw the Nichojoo edit playing on screen. Nicholas blinked, processing.
He raised an eyebrow. Euijoo sat up, flustered and unsure where to put his hands. Then he realized his shirt was still riding up, his waist exposed.
Nicholas’ eyes flickered over his waist before going back to the screen. Euijoo could almost see Nicholas’ ears going red, but his thoughts snapped when Nicholas burst out laughing and tossed the phone back. “Why were you watching that? And giggling?”
Mortification punched through Euijoo.
“Well, the videos were… funny, I guess,” Euijoo said, voice small.
“Funny?”
“Yeah, you know how fans ship us. They think we’re in love or something,” Euijoo replied, his face getting hotter. “So they make
edits and—”
“Don’t be stupid. That’s ridiculous.”
Ouch. That one stung more than Euijoo expected. He swallowed and forced a smile.
“Of course. I mean, it’s just what fans do. Shipping culture, you know. It’s not that deep.” He tried to sound casual but failed miserably. “Do you think it’s weird that I watched them?” His throat constricted. “I won’t if it makes you uncomfortable.”
Euijoo’s question threw him off. Did he feel uncomfortable?
“No, no,” Nicholas said quickly, not sure why he felt weirdly defensive. He’d never liked shipping. It messed everything up between idols who were just trying to be friends, who just needed each other in such a difficult industry. People made wild assumptions, and it wasn’t fair. What if this messed things up for Euijoo? And why was Euijoo watching it in the first place?
“Well, it’s just that shipping culture is…” Nicholas started, trying to explain. Euijoo nodded politely, already wishing the floor would swallow him whole.
And that was that. The topic died. Nicholas didn’t push it, so Euijoo was grateful the moment passed. He didn’t have the energy for anything more. His chest felt hollow.
But deep down, Euijoo knew there was no chance Nicholas would ever see him as more than a friend. Videos aside, Nicholas wasn’t gay. He dated girls. Still did.
Even if Euijoo had convinced himself it shouldn’t hurt this much, it did.
Sometimes, when Nicholas went out clubbing, Euijoo buried his face in a pillow and tried not to imagine him kissing someone else.
They spent the rest of the trip laughing and pretending everything was fine. It was easier to laugh than to deal with the truth.
As their trip neared its end, a quiet tension grew between the two best friends. Neither was willing to address it. Nicholas’s chest felt heavy in a way he couldn’t explain.
But it all made sense when Euijoo, his younger 02-liner bandmate and roommate, suddenly asked to switch rooms with Taki.