Chapter Text
If you’re looking for the hottest show in South Beach, look no further than The Ruby Slipper. There you will find the devastatingly handsome Steve Harrington. With his tan skin tastefully decorated in the most stunning beauty marks, you’d think he’d be the one on stage. As much as the crowd loves to look at him, his talents lie backstage. The stage is covered in beautiful men and women of all shapes and sizes. Some with penises and some without. Yes, the hottest show in South Beach is a long-standing drag show. And the star of the show is none other than Lilith von Brimstone. She’s everything you want in a leading lady: beautiful, funny, quick-witted. It’s no surprise that she’s Steve’s husband in all the ways that matter. The only problem is that sometimes, getting into character takes a dramatic turn.
Dustin Henderson loves his job, he swears he does. There’s no better place to work than The Ruby Slipper, he just wishes that it wasn’t always so chaotic. He glances at his watch, tapping his foot in frustration as he watches the stage. Dasam Bay is close to being done with her set and they only have so long before Lilith is set to hit the stage. Dustin calls up to Eddie’s room, where, unfortunately, he’s turned up to about a 15 as he gets into character, meaning everyone else is in hell. Argyle bounces down the stairs with his majestic hair flowing behind him like a fancy shampoo commercial.
“She won’t go on,” he says simply as he stops at Dustin’s booth.
Steve darts over to Argyle immediately, “What do you mean she won’t go on?”
Argyle shrugs, “I’ve tried everything. She’s sitting up there in her robe, refusing to go on. I’ve never seen her like this.”
Dustin glares at Steve, whatever this is, must be his fault.
“Damn, get her ready. I’ll be up in a moment,” Steve calls out as he gestures for Argyle to head upstairs. He rubs above his eyebrows and sighs. “Can we stall?”
Dustin glances at the stage, wincing.
Steve grabs his arm and begs, “Help me figure it out, I don’t know. Get the girls ready for a scene change, something. Give me a moment.” Steve looks at the ceiling shaking his head before calling out, “Cherry, be ready to do Lilith’s number.”
Everyone within earshot turns to Alexei, who’s in his boy clothes with at least a week old stubble, sipping a cherry slushie. He rolls his eyes and takes an obnoxious slurp from his drink. Cherry is told to be ready most nights, just in case, and has yet to hit the stage since she was hired. The free food and cherry slushie is payment enough for the couple of hours she has to be there on standby, not to mention the free show. Steve heads up the stairs trying to keep himself calm. Can’t meet hysteria with hysteria, I’ll never get her on the stage.
“Come on, Miss Eddie, you have to get dressed for me. Please,” Argyle begs.
Eddie moans, her pain is just too much tonight. The only thing visible are her feet sticking out from under her blanket. “It’s too hard, Argyle, I just can’t go on. Victoria Page will not dance the dance of the red shoes tonight. And do you know why? She’s dead.”
“You know I don’t watch your old movies. Come on, let’s get these pantyhose on. They’ll look so good with your cute little toes.” Argyle tries to slip the black pantyhose over one foot, but Eddie kicks it away.
“Do you know how she died?” she calls from under the blanket.
“How, honey?”
Argyle tries to make his voice as sympathetic as possible, but honestly, he’s almost at his wits end. Thankfully, the sympathy distracts Eddie and Argyle is able to get one pantyhose up her leg.
“Heartbroken, weeping for her lover.”
Dramatically, Eddie throws the blanket off herself. Her long hair is thrown on top of her head, messy as hell. Looking at her face, she smiles a little sadly at the queen in the reflection. Lilith is painted beautifully tonight, with a dark smokey eye with wings sharp enough to cut a man. She’s damn near ready for the stage, they are so close.
“Oh no,” Argyle replies, trying his best, but sounding terribly flat and unaffected. He glances down at the pantyhose up Eddie’s calf while the other hangs off her toes. So close.
Eddie glances at Argyle ready to snark back at him, when she takes in his face and gasps. “Darling, have you eaten? You look haggard.”
She presses the back of her hand to Argyle’s forehead to check him for fever. Argyle brushes her away as he keeps trying to get her dressed.
“No, Miss Eddie, I’ve had a very busy evening.”
He’s absolutely hinting at the fact that he’s had to practically chase Eddie around the house to get her ready for the show. Eddie starts to get up, pulling her feet away. Argyle tries to reach out and catch her, but Eddie is simply too fast and is off the chase in a split second.
“Miss Eddie, you have to let me get you dressed.”
Eddie pulls a little packet off of the counter and hands them to Argyle, “These are supplements, I bought them for Steve, but that’s all over now.”
Eddie tucks herself back into her blanket cocoon as Argyle rolls his eyes and tries to untuck the blanket. Whatever Steve has done this time, Argyle might kill him over it, just a little bit. The theatrics are usually because of something small like Steve forgot to rent Eddie’s favorite movie, or they’re having casserole for dinner, again. But something’s got Eddie all torn up tonight, more so than usual. Suddenly, the door knob rattles and Eddie gasps, grabbing a chair and tucking it under the doorknob.
“Eddie!” Steve tries in earnest to open the door. “You open this door right now.”
“Go away!” Eddie yells back. “You can’t see me like this. I’m hideous.”
“What? Baby, we don’t have time for this. Argyle, open this door.”
Argyle moves the chair out of the way, but Eddie runs in right behind him and puts it back, screaming about how she can’t go on. A muffled curse comes through the door before a loud slam shakes the door. Eddie howls, running away as Steve continues to slam his body against the door. And yes, Eddie is screaming at every slam. Amidst the chaos, Argyle manages to move the chair out of the way and unlock the door, unbeknownst to Steve who busts through the door. Eddie screams and hides behind a clothing rack full of beautiful gowns as Steve all but falls into the room.
“Are you trying to ruin me?”
“Don’t look at me, I’m hideous. Skeletal and hideous. Argyle, I’m in such pain,” she moans.
“I know, honey, it’s gonna pass,” he calls out to Eddie, trying to calm her back down.
“No, it’ll never pass. I hate my life,” Eddie hisses.
Steve chases after Eddie who ducks behind one of the outfits. “There is a packed house out there,” Steve calls out.
“That‘s all I am to you isn’t it? A meal ticket. Never mind about my feelings or my suffering. It’s all about your show, not even our show. Your show. I want a palimony agreement and I want one now.”
Steve huffs, running his hand through his hair, “Well I don’t have a palimony agreement on me right now. Is tomorrow alright?”
“Don’t use that tone to me,” Eddie scolds.
“What tone?”
“That sarcastic, contemptuous tone that means you know everything because you’re a man and I know nothing because I’m a woman.”
Steve looks at him incredulously.“You specifically told me that you’re not a woman, I asked!”
Eddie’s jaw drops, “Oh, you bastard.”
Eyeing the items within reach, she picks up a house slipper and flings it at Steve, who manages to smack it away just in time. Before you think too terrible of Steve, they had this discussion many years ago when Eddie’s style took on a more feminine flair. Eddie is very happy being a man, he just also loves dipping his polished toes into the pool of femininity. In this room and on the stage, it’s all part of the show, everywhere else, Eddie is Eddie.
“Hey, everyone, take it easy,” Argyle calls out.
Eddie rushes to Argyle, grabbing his shirt dramatically. “Whatever I am, he made me. I was adorable once. Young, full of hope. Now look at me. I’m this tall, lanky, middle aged, insecure thing.”
“I made you tall?”
Eddie wails and throws herself down on her chase. Steve tries his damnest not to laugh, but who could blame him, it was too easy. If Eddie’s going to ruin the show tonight, he might as well have a little fun.
Dustin comes upstairs, ripping off his headset. “What in the hell is going on up here? The number is almost over.” He glances over at Eddie, “You’re not even dressed?”
“At least she has on her fingernails,” Argyle grumbles under his breath. “You don’t want to know how long that took.”
“We have no choice,” Steve grabs Dustin’s arm with a grave look on his face. “We have to send Cherry on.”
Eddie watches in shock, “No, not Cherry, how dare you?”
Steve is careful to hide his grin, “Do it, send her on.”
Dustin goes to leave, but Eddie grabs his arm, “No, Dustin please. I will go on. The people have come to see Lilith and Lilith will not disappoint them, even in this state.”
Eddie dramatically turns away from Dustin and Steve, taking a seat at his vanity. He feels for his pulse and gasps.
“Oh dear, I’m shaking. Argyle, darling, I need some Pirin tablets quickly,” Eddie frets holding out his hand.
Astonished, Steve grabs Eddie’s hand pulling it close to him. “What are you taking?”
“Nothing,” Eddie sasses, wrenching his hand away.
Argyle pulls a pill out of a little compact, “Okay, but just one. One before the show and one for after. No more, so don’t ask me.”
Eddie kisses his hand as he slides the pill onto his palm. “Thank you, thank you, my darling Argyle. If it wasn’t for the pirin tablets, I don’t think I couldn’t go on.”
Argyle steps away as Steve tries to rub Eddie’s shoulders, anything to encourage him to get ready.
Eddie slaps his hands away. “The room is so crowded, could you please give me a moment to myself to prepare?”
Argyle tugs on Steve’s arm, “Come on, let’s leave her.”
As they leave the dressing room Steve hisses, “Why are you giving him drugs, what the hell are Pirin tablets?”
Argyle pats Steve’s arm, it’s obvious that Argyle spends his days organizing the chaos that is this couple. “It’s an aspirin with the A and the S scraped off.”
Steve blinks at Argyle in wonder. “What a brilliant idea.”
“I know,” Argyle says smugly as he heads to the main part of the house.
Taking a few deep breaths, Steve pushes the door to the dressing room open, back into the chaos. He watches as Eddie begins getting ready, adding a few more details to make Lilith who she is.
“Nothing I do is ever good enough for you, is it?”
Steve looks at Eddie absolutely lost on where this conversation is going. Eddie stands up dramatically and drops his robe as he begins to dress.
“I’ve changed my hair, gained weight to be less whatever this is, worked out to get it all off. You never noticed. Not an ounce of encouragement from you. Just admit it, you don’t love me anymore.”
Steve groans, collapsing on the chase. “Oh my god, please don’t do this. I think we’ve had enough, right?”
“There’s a man in your life. I saw a bottle of red wine in the refrigerator. I only drink white and so do you.”
Steve’s jaw drops as Eddie hands him an anklet. Without a word, Steve slides off the chase and onto his knees allowing Eddie to place his foot on his shoulder. The thunderous look of anger causes Steve’s pants to tighten appreciatively. Control yourself, he’s going to kill you if you even think of trying to fuck this bratty behavior out of him. Eddie can’t go out there with mascara running down his face, again. Running his hand up Eddie’s stocking covered leg, Steve presses a soft kiss to her ankle.
“You know there’s no man, baby. It's always you, my little star,” he smiles up at Eddie as he buckles the anklet. “There’s 150 people downstairs. All waiting for you, waiting to applaud Lilith von Brimstone.”
Eddie scoffs, pushing him down to the floor. “You expect me to believe that? What are you doing when I’m on stage?”
“I lie here,” Steve replies in a monotone voice. So close, but nope, we’re going to hell today folks.
Eddie stands up, shrieking. “What are you doing while killing myself on stage? I know that look.” He bends down into Steve’s face, “You want to hit me don’t you? Well go on, do it.”
Steve sighs, “I don’t want to hit you.”
“Hit me, go on.”
Steve raises his hand and places it over Eddie’s face, lightly pushing him back so he can make his getaway. It doesn’t matter that Eddie’s usually the one spanking him. No, as soon as Steve raises his hand toward her, Eddie screams, flailing her body as she falls back on the chase.
Steve presses a soft kiss to the top of Eddie’s head. “I’ll see you downstairs, love you.”
Steve rushes downstairs, where Dustin is immediately throwing a tantrum. Can’t I get a break just once? Fucking hell, if it isn’t Eddie, it’s Dustin. Honestly, most of the time it’s both. It’s almost like they were brothers in a past life. Steve nods along as Dustin regales him with his tales of woe. Painstakingly going over minute by minute of how much the show has gone off the rails when in actuality they are only about five minutes behind schedule.
“I mean honestly, what the hell took so long? Steve, you’ve gotta start getting her ready before the one hour mark. She’s taking longer and longer,” Dustin chastises. “One of these days we really are going to have to send Cherry out there, and then where will you be? She has no idea how to perform. She can’t exactly go out there and suck on a slushie for half an hour.” He pauses for a moment. “Actually, you know, now that I’ve said it out loud, there’s absolutely a crowd out there that would pay for that. You should consider-”
“I think I know how to handle my own husband, Dustin, thank you.”
He takes a few calming breaths as he waits for the musical interlude to finish. The house lights lower and Steve leans into the microphone backstage to introduce his star.
“Ladies and gentlemen, The Ruby Slipper presents to you the one, the only, Lilith von Brimstone.”
Fog begins to pour on the stage as Eddie raises up from the trap door. He can already see the look of glee on Eddie’s face as she rises up. Steve surprised Eddie for their anniversary last year with it and Eddie’s used it for every show since. Every time Eddie transforms into Lilith she takes Steve’s breath away, and tonight is no different. Donning a larger than life wig, Steve can’t help but snicker at the little devil horns on her forehead, he should have known she’d add something mischievous to the look. She gives the crowd a sultry grin as her bare shoulders are revealed leading to her ample bosom, another gift that Steve paid handsomely for. He never thought he’d find something that smelled worse than a jockstrap, but that breast plate after a long show could give any athlete a run for their money. He really should give Argyle a raise.
The fur-lined sweetheart neckline is revealed and the audience cat-calls as Lilith swishes her hips, revealing a tight black mini skirt complete with a matching devil’s tail. In her hand is a wine glass with a large pour of red wine. Steve’s willing to bet money she uncorked the wine he was saving for later. She waves to the crowd before locking eyes with Steve, taking a sip of her wine. She winks at him before addressing the crowd.
“Hello, I am your hostess of the dark, Lilith von Brimstone. How are all of my friends of Dorothy tonight?” The crowd roars in excitement and Lilith grins. “Happy to hear it, babies. I hope you are all enjoying your time at the Ruby Slipper, and make sure you tip your queens and your waitresses.”
As Lilith walks past the break in the side curtains, Steve makes sure to blow her a kiss, one that Lilith returns before turning back towards the crowd.
art by hawkinsleather
“Ooh wait, where is the adorable couple celebrating their wedding anniversary?”
An older man and woman raise their hands wildly as she continues her crowd work, teasing the members of the audience and making sure to pay special attention to the well-known guests here and there. Lilith is a pro in every sense of the word. Checking between the curtains a few more times, she looks for Steve only to find him still standing there, ready to blow another kiss her way. She finally signals for her music to begin and Steve knows the show is in good hands.
He checks his watch before sneaking off towards the door back to their condo. Dustin catches his eyes and glances at him questioningly.Steve turns his back to him and goes up the stairs. The less Dustin knows, the better.
As he gets closer to their condo, he hears music blaring. Making his way through the side door, he walks into his kitchen to find Argyle in one of Eddie’s flaming red wigs, dancing around the kitchen as he cleans to the beat of Gloria Estafan. It seems that the rhythm has finally gotten Argyle, why else would he be dressed in one of Eddie’s Gilligan’s Island knockoff outfits for the show with his chest stuffed crudely with paper towels? Steve walks over to the boombox and promptly turns off the music causing Argyle to jump and turn around, damn near losing his top in the process.
“Steve, hi.” He gestures down to himself, “So, what do you think?”
“I think you’ll scare the kids.” Glancing at his watch, he immediately begins grabbing things off the counter to try and straighten up what Argyle has left out. “I see you let Eddie into the wine. Chill two glasses and take the night off.”
Argyle eyes him suspiciously, “Take the night off? Why are you talking to me like that, like I’m your servant or something?”
Rubbing his eyebrows, Steve sighs loudly, “I don’t have time for this. Please.”
Argyle gets the glasses ready all the while whining to Steve. “You know, dude, my family was a big deal back home. Great jobs, everyone loved them.”
“Then why the hell did they move to Florida?”
“I guess they wanted me to have a career, hint hint, a career. When are you going to let me audition for you again?”
Completely fed up Steve snaps, “When you have talent. Now take that wig and costume off or I’ll tell Eddie you’re wearing it.”
Argyle jerks the wig off his head. His long locks are tucked beautifully under a wig cap. ”Go ahead, tell Eddie I’m wearing his things, I’ll tell him you’re seeing someone else while he’s on the stage.”
Steve glances up at Argyle with an angry look, “If you want to keep your job here you’ll keep your mouth shut about things you don’t understand. Now go and leave the front door unlocked.”
Steve leaves the bathroom in a huff as Argyle replaces the wig on the stand, mumbling under his breath, “What’s gotten into you? You're such a bitch to everybody today.”
Steve curses at himself, he should apologize to Argyle for how he spoke to him, but there’s not enough time. Everything has been so crazy tonight, he just needs this last thing to go well. Once Argyle is finally gone, he turns on the lights around the pool and lights a few candles for a bit of mood lighting. Pouring two glasses of red wine, he immediately drinks his first glass, pouring another so no one’s the wiser. He shudders a little as it goes down. Eddie’s right, he does only like white. The gate opens and a man walks into the backyard with a giant duffle bag on his shoulder. He’s young, too young. Steve smiles the moment he sees him.
“You get better looking every time I see you,” Steve says with a smile, pressing a kiss to the man’s cheek.
His hair has gotten longer since Steve last saw him. His curls aren’t as wild as Eddie’s, but they are there. It was always incredible how much he looks like Eddie all things considered, it made their life so much easier over the years.
“Beverage?” Steve asks, holding up a glass.
“Beer, if you have it,” the man says with a grin.
Scandalized, Steve hisses, “No, god the bloat.” He holds up a glass, “It was bad enough having to get the red.” Steve hands him a glass and together they take a seat by the pool.
Taking a sip of his wine, the young man glances at his watch, “How long has Eddie been on?”
“He just went on, so we have some time. I gave Argyle the night off so we are all alone, like you asked.” The tone in Steve’s voice gives way to the fact that he didn’t like any of this.
The man sits his glass down and squares his shoulders. “I have to tell you something-”
“I figured with all the secrecy.”
The man sighs, “I don’t want you to get… how you get.” Steve goes to interject, but the man stops him. “I'm getting married and I didn’t want to tell you over the phone.”
Steve’s jaw drops. He grabs the bottle, filling the glass up to the rim before taking a large gulp.
“It’s a girl. I met her at school.”
The more the man talks, the faster Steve begins chugging his wine.
“Jesus Christ. Are you upset?” The man asks, shocked.
Steve downs the wine and stands up to pour another glass. “Mike, you’re only 21 for god's sake.”
“Oh come on, dad, you were younger than me when you and Eddie got together. And you’ve always said I’m level headed. I know I’m young, but I have job offers and I know exactly what I want to do with my life. Not to mention I’ve got this incredible role model,” he says with a grin.
Steve rolls his eyes. “Oh, please.”
“I’m serious, I’m the only guy in my fraternity that doesn’t come from a broken home.”
“Stop flattering me, it’s cheap.”
If Mike wants to try to flatter his way to acceptance, he’s picked the wrong parent.
Mike gets up, walking over to Steve. “Is it alright, dad?”
“Does it matter?”
“Of course it does. I want to hear you say it’s okay before Eddie comes up here screaming.”
Steve stands up, pushing past Mike. “I can’t and I won’t. This is too crazy, you do this and you’re on your own, you got that, sport. You don’t come back here, you don’t ask me for anything, okay? I don’t want anything to do with you.”
Mike’s head falls. “Well okay if that’s how you feel.”
“I do,” Steve nods firmly.
Mike grabs his bag and walks back over to Steve holding out his hand, “Alright, goodbye, dad.”
“Goodbye, son.” They shake hands and as soon as Mike pulls away, Steve’s grabbing for him, holding him tight. “You little asshole, you called my bluff.”
Mike laughs, “Come on, I know you. That was your Grandpa Harrington routine. It was good though, real tough and manly.” Mike pulls himself out of Steve’s arms, “I do need to know this is okay.”
“Of course it is. I’ve always dreamed you’d get married, just maybe not so soon. Come on, let's drink a toast to the occasion. What’s the young lady’s name?”
“Janie, you can’t be serious. You’re not even 20.”
Louise Brenner sits in her living room in a power suit, her husband Martin is beside her in a suit of his own. Their faces are pinched in displeasure at the news of their daughter’s engagement. The differences between the families is obvious.
“But I am an adult,” the girl replies meekly.
“What’s the young man’s name, Janie, when did you last see him?” Louise presses.
“Please don’t call me Janie. His name is Mike and I saw him at 2 o’clock today before we both flew home. We’ve been sleeping together for a year,” Jane says matter of factly.
Martin groans, “Has he been tested?”
“Oh Martin, don’t,” Louise cries out, her face is nothing but disapproval.
“Yes and so have I,” Jane says firmly.
Louise gasps in shock and Martin sighs, “Look, this’ll all have to wait until after the election. I can’t deal with this right now.”
“Where does he come from, Janie, who is his father?”
Jane hesitates, “His father is in the arts. He’s on the council, the council of cultural arts.” Martin eyes her. “He’s the cultural attaché to Greece.”
“Really?” Louise asks, immediately impressed.
Martin, not so much. “What the hell is that?”
“It’s a diplomatic post, like an ambassador. What does the mother do?” Louise asks.
Jane smiles uncomfortably as she tries to find the words to say. “Well, she’s… a housewife?”
Louise ignores the question in Jane’s voice and turns to her husband. “That’s refreshing, isn’t it Martin? A traditional family.”
Jane cringes as Martin flips through his book. “I can’t talk about this right now.”
The phone rings and Jane snatches it, they’d planned on calling each other the moment they told their parents, there’s no one else that would be calling this late.
“Did you tell them?”
She smiles at the sound of Mike’s voice. “Yes, I just did. Did you?”
“Yeah, my dad is very excited. He’s holding up his glass now in toast. Hang on, here he is.”
“I thought you said his parents were in Greece,” Martin calls out.
Jane turns to find him in the other room listening in on her call on the phone in his office.
“Papa, get off the phone!”
He hangs up with a scowl. There’s a bit of a scuffle on the line before Steve’s voice comes through.
“Hello, Jane dear. Here’s to your future.”
The sound of glass breaking comes through the phone.
“Shit, oh dear. I’m sorry that was not my toast.”
Panicked, Jane rushes them off the phone. “It was nice talking to you, we’ll talk soon, bye.” Jane hangs up the phone and turns to glare at Martin. “How dare you listen in on my private phone call.”
“You said his parents are in Greece,” Martin challenges.
“They are.”
Martin sits across from Jane and crosses his arms. “You saw this boy at 2 in the afternoon and now he’s in Greece with his parents?”
“No.” Jane turns to Louise for help who just shakes her head. So much for help. “Greece? Umm well they’re back, for the winter, at their house in South Beach.”
“Oh like Palm Beach?” Louise asks, excited.
Jane nods nervously, “Well it’s close.” She turns to Martin, “Closer to Fisher Island where Jeb Bush lives.” Louise smiles excited, while Martin isn’t sure how to feel about it.
Later that night, Steve is sitting by the pool with a cold compress to his forehead when Eddie storms in. His outfit now completely different, a stunning white sparkly gown with a fantastic white faux fur around his shoulders. There’s a scared look on his face. Before Steve can explain, Eddie spots the glasses. His face crumbles for a moment, but the look is gone immediately, replaced with rage.
He points to the glasses and shouts, “I knew it, two glasses. Who is he?”
Steve shakes his head, “Will you stop screaming? It’s Mike.”
The wind is instantly pulled out of his sails at the sound of his piglet’s name. “What?”
Steve reaches out and grabs Eddie’s hand. “Mike came home, I promise. He’s sleeping in his room if you don’t believe me.”
Eddie looks thoroughly embarrassed, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Mike asked me to keep it a surprise,” Steve whispers. “I’m sorry, baby.”
They look at each other for a moment. It’s obvious today got away from them both. They’ve been together for over 20 years, you don’t spend that long together without driving each other a little nuts. Eddie leans down and presses a kiss to Steve’s cheek.
“You look beautiful baby, I’m sorry I missed it.” He stands up to give Eddie his full attention, setting the compress on the table. “Give me a twirl, let me take the whole look in.”
With a grin that could power the city, Eddie spins for Steve, who whistles in appreciation. “Stunning.” Steve presses a soft kiss against Eddie’s lips. “Go check on your son, I’ll be in soon to rub your feet.”
Stepping carefully, Eddie peeks in on Mike. Tall and lanky, his leg hangs off the bed with his sock-covered foot dangling in the air. Ignoring the fact that he’s in a beautiful gown, Eddie immediately pulls out the bag of dirty laundry from the duffle bag and grabs any random clothes from the ground. He glances back at Mike with one last smile, his piglet is finally home.