Work Text:
The 118 had agreed on one thing, if Bobby was coming back, it called for a celebration.
Technically, Bobby wasn’t there to celebrate with them. He’d insisted on a quiet night in with Athena, claiming he’d “earned the right to stay out of the chaos.” But that didn’t stop Hen, Chim, Buck, and Eddie from taking over their usual corner booth at the bar, a round of beers already half-finished before the appetizers even hit the table.
“Bobby would be proud,” Chim announced, raising his glass. “His team, responsibly—”
“Responsibly?” Hen cut in, eyebrows raised as Buck returned from the bar carrying four tequila shots on top of his beer.
Buck grinned, that bright, boyish grin that usually meant this is either going to be fun or a terrible idea,
“It’s a celebration! Bobby’s coming back, and that means no more interim captain paperwork for Chim, no more being yelled at for 'being reckless' , and no more—”
“No more you getting stuck on desk duty,” Eddie finished for him, smirking into his drink.
“Exactly!” Buck said, sliding one of the shots in front of Eddie. “So... to Bobby!”
They clinked glasses. The tequila burned on the way down, but it gave Eddie a chance to watch as Buck's adam's apple bobs as he's swallowing and those little butterflies in his stomach start to fly around again.
And that was the start of Buck’s rapid descent into chaos.
By the second round, he was laughing too loud filling Eddie heart with warm bubbles. By the third, he was dramatically re-enacting a rescue on top of his bar stool while Chim begged him to sit down before he cracked his head open. Hen had her phone out, filming for “evidence” and laughing uncontrollably. Eddie was doing that thing — the half-smile, half-eye roll he does when Buck is just being Buck — trying not to enjoy himself too much.
“Okay, okay, I think we’re done,” Eddie said as Buck slumped sideways against him, giggling like a little kid at something that hadn’t been funny five minutes ago.
“’M fine,” Buck protested, words slurring. “You’re just jealous ‘cause I’m— I’m a great time.”
Eddie sighed, but laughed, catching him before he slid off the bench entirely. “You’re a disaster.”
“Your disaster,” Buck mumbled, barely above a whisper, but it was close enough that Eddie froze for half a second — just long enough to notice how warm Buck’s breath felt against his neck and how Hen and Chim were already smirking.
Hen glanced to Chim, eyebrows raised, but said nothing. Chim caught her eye and smirked right back. Eddie looked between both of them and melted from their gaze already turning bright red.
Though Eddie said that they should be done that was not of the liking of anyone else, so the night carried on — laughter, another round (Buck was absolutely gone), stories about Bobby — but somewhere between the jokes and the music, something shifted. Buck’s laugh got softer like it does when he's sleepy or like he is now a little too tipsy and honest for Eddie's liking and the space between them getting a little smaller each passing minute. Eddie didn't mind, well not that he would let anyone know, but he really didn't. Lately it's been hard for Eddie to concentrate always sneaking glances at Buck and remembering how good it was to be his partner, he loves Hen, but thank god Bobby's back because Eddie couldn't handle another one of Ravi and Buck's fist bumps that were clearly to annoy Eddie because Buck knows that that's Buck and Eddie's thing.
Spiralling, Eddie was clearly spiralling, so much so that he didn't even notice how Buck and Chim had gotten up and already started karaoke. He sighed and took another swig of his beer and Hen cleared her throat beside him. Eddie looked her way noticing the small pitiful smile across her face.
Hen let the silence settle between them, comfortable but heavy. From the stage, Buck and Chim’s laughter rolled through the bar, their voices clashing terribly with the music but somehow making it better. Eddie stared into his beer, tracing a thumb over the condensation on the bottle.
“You ever gonna tell him?” Hen asked, voice low but pointed.
Eddie didn’t look up. “Tell who what?”
Hen gave a small, knowing hum. “C’mon, Eddie. You know who and you know what.”
He huffed out a laugh that didn’t quite feel right. “You mean tell him he’s an idiot who can’t carry a tune?”
“Sure,” Hen said, smiling into her drink. “That’s one way to say you’re in love with him.”
Eddie froze, his fingers tightening around the bottle. He wanted to roll his eyes, make some joke, say anything—but the words wouldn’t come.
“You think that’s what this is?” he said finally maybe hopefully, quiet enough that she had to lean in a little.
“I don’t think,” Hen said softly. “I know. You look at him like you’re afraid to blink. You talk about him like he’s yours, even when you pretend he’s not. That’s love, Eddie. You just haven’t given yourself permission to call it that.”
Eddie exhaled through his nose, a small, pained sound. His gaze drifted back to the stage. Buck was laughing, really laughing, eyes bright and flushed under the cheap colored lights. He threw an arm around Chim, the microphone nearly slipping from his hand, and for a moment, everything else blurred.
And then—Buck’s eyes found him.
The noise, the crowd, the clatter of glasses—it all went quiet for just that heartbeat. Buck’s grin softened, and he tilted his head the slightest bit, a silent you good? that Eddie could read from across a room. Eddie swallowed hard and managed the smallest nod, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. That was all it took; Buck’s grin widened again, bright and easy, before he turned back to finish the song.
Hen’s voice broke through the silence beside him. “Yeah. That’s what I mean.”
Eddie didn’t answer. He couldn’t.
A few minutes later, Buck and Chim stumbled back to the table, flushed and laughing. Buck dropped into the seat beside Eddie, their knees bumping under the table. “Hey, we killed it, right?” he said, breathless and grinning.
“‘Killed’ is one word for it,” Hen teased.
“Slaughtered might be more accurate,” Eddie added, his tone dry—but his voice softer than it should’ve been.
Buck laughed, leaning closer, the scent of cheap beer and aftershave hitting Eddie all at once. “C’mon, Diaz, admit it—you loved it.”
Eddie’s lips twitched into a little smile. “You’re impossible Buckley.”
“Yeah,” Buck said with a smirk, blue eyes catching his again for just a second too long. “But you keep me around anyway.”
Eddie didn’t trust himself to reply. He just shook his head, but Hen didn’t miss the faint, helpless smile he tried to hide behind his beer and he knew she would bring it up again and again until he at least says it. By the time they made it to the truck, Buck was gone. The man could handle danger, chaos, collapsing buildings — but apparently not tequila. He stumbled toward the passenger side with all the grace of a baby deer on ice.
“Buck,” Eddie muttered, catching him by the arm before he could faceplant into the door. “Keys. Now.”
Buck blinked, swaying and slurring. “Eds, buddy, I love you, but I think you already have them.”
Eddie looked straight at him, his heart skipped a beat repeating the 'I love you' like a mantra in his head, but he knows he only means it in a platonic way. Buck started fidgeting which meant Eddie was contemplating his life for a bit too long and eventually fished the keys from his own pocket. “Right. Okay. Get in.”
It took another minute and some muttered curses and some random Spanish that Eddie never remember teaching Buck, but Buck ultimately folded himself into the seat, mumbling about how the truck was “too serious” and “didn’t have enough cupholders for feelings.” Eddie just shook his head and started driving.
Halfway home, Buck decided silence was overrated.
“You know, Hen’s right,” he slurred. “You do smile when— when— when you talk about—” He lost the thread, frowning. “Wait. What were we talking about?”
“Not this,” Eddie said, but he couldn’t help the corner of his mouth twitching.
Buck caught it anyway. “See? That! That’s the smile! You’re doing it again.”
Eddie pressed his lips together, focusing on the road. “You’re drunk.”
Buck nodded solemnly. “And you’re deflecting.”
By the time they pulled up to Eddie’s house, Buck had gone from loud and playful to that soft, unsteady kind of drunk — the one that Eddie was hoping to avoid because Buck always gets into the feeling, touchy mood and Eddie can't handle that right now. Chris was staying with Pepa for the weekend, thank god, so the house was quiet. Eddie unlocked the door and nudged Buck inside.
“Alright,” he said, tossing his keys into the bowl by the door. “Couch for you tonight.”
Buck dropped onto it instantly, grinning up at him. “Your couch is comfy. You’re comfy. Everything here’s… comfy.”
Eddie huffed out a laugh, shaking his head as he grabbed a spare blanket and pillow from the hall closet. “You’re ridiculous.”
Buck didn’t argue. He just watched Eddie move around the living room, head tilted like he was trying to memorize something important. He got up and moved towards Eddie who had now entered the kitchen already preparing the water and pain killers for Buck's headache in the morning.
“You know,” Buck said after a while, his voice low and earnest, “you’ve got this way of making everything feel… safe. Like the world can’t touch you here.”
Eddie jumped not realising that Buck had entered behind him still swaying and smiling, his brain felt like it was short circuited and slowly caught up with his actions just in time to not spill the water. “That's the drink talking” Eddie reasoned even though he did not want it to be.
“Nahhhhhh,” Buck said with a small smile. “maybe it’s my head, finally saying what I should’ve said a longggg time ago”. Eddie's heart definitely stopped as Buck dragged out his words. Eddie turned back to him, trying to play it off with a small shake of his head. “You should get some sleep.”
But when he tried to get past Buck and into the living room to get his bed fully done, Buck’s hand caught his wrist. His grip was warm, gentle — not enough to stop him, just enough to make him look up. Buck’s blue eyes were glassy but honest. “I mean it, Eds. You’re… everything. The way you look out for everyone, the way you take care of Chris, the way you still manage to laugh after everything. You don’t even see it, but—”
“Buck,” Eddie warned softly, his throat tight. But before he could anything he felt the soft, pink lips touch his and he melted into it instantly, turning into Buck hands. He brought his arms around Buck's neck and sigh a sigh of content when he felt Buck's hand meet his waist and hold him there like if he let go he would lose him. Truthfully the kiss felt better then he ever imagined because this time he had the real Buck with him not some imaginary duplicate of him from Eddie's dreams, but the real one. After a while air was kind of necessary and he pulled back already missing the contact as just looked up, since Buck, big beautiful Buck, is just a few inches taller than him and he saw those gentle sky blue eyes locked with his and couldn't help but smile.
“I love you,” Buck said, the words tumbling out in a rush. “I do. I’ve been trying not to, but—” He laughed, breathless. “You make that kind of impossible.”
For a moment, the only sound was the faint hum of the fridge. Eddie just looked at him, the forgotten task of getting Buck to sleep is no longer relevant.
Buck’s smile faded a little, like he thought Eddie didn't feel the same and stepped out of Eddie's space and when Eddie thinks he might die, he is not exaggerating. “You don’t have to say anything, I I-just...”
Eddie’s chest ached with something warm and heavy. He reached up, brushed his thumb across Buck’s cheek, the gesture instinctive, and Buck leaned into it with a glint of hope coming back into his eyes, and god Eddie can't get enough of those eyes.
“Get some sleep, Buck,” he murmured. “We’ll talk in the morning.”
Buck nodded, eyes already drooping. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
By the time Eddie pulled the blanket over him, Buck was already half asleep, a faint smile on his face. Eddie stood there for a long time, staring down at him — at the man who’d just turned his whole world sideways with one simple truth - gave him a small kiss to the forehead and headed off to his bedroom closing the door quietly behind him.
Then, quietly, almost to himself, Eddie whispered, “You really picked a hell of a time to say it.”
But he was smiling when he said it and he had a feeling Buck was smiling along with him. He got ready for bed, got in, but he didn't fall asleep, not yet, and he just laid there think that this was going to be the rest of his life. With Buck and Chris and their little bubble family that no one can really get into. He turned over and fell asleep happily and comfortably.
-*-
Buck woke to sunlight slanting across his face and the unmistakable pounding of his own heartbeat echoing in his skull. He blinked his eyes for a long moment before sitting up, every movement a betrayal. His head throbbed in protest. Buck managed to shuffle his way out of the blanket surrounding him, one hand trailing along the back of the couch for some sort of balance. The floor felt too bright, the air too loud, and his body moved like it was half a second behind his brain. He spotted sweats and a old LAFD shirt draped neatly over a chair — folded, even — which felt like an Eddie thing to do. He stretched his hands along his jeans that he had probably wore the night before, with the sweats and the shirt just there, he reluctantly changed in record speed considering the hangover he is currently hosting.
The quiet was strange. Eddie’s house always had a low hum of life — Christopher’s laughter, the faint buzz of cartoons, something cooking on the stove. Now, in the morning hush, it felt softer, almost too still. Buck leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes, trying to stitch together the scattered edges of last night.
He remembered the bar. He remembered Eddie insisting on switching to water after Buck’s third round, which probably didn't work. He remembered... maybe karaoke? God, he hoped not. His stomach twisted at the thought. The rest was a blur of laughter, hands on shoulders, Eddie’s voice steadying him when everything else spun.
On the coffee table sat another glass of water — freshly filled, condensation sliding down the side. Next to it, Buck’s phone, face-down, and a folded blanket that definitely hadn’t been there when he looked at the table before. He let out a quiet laugh that hurt his head. Eddie Diaz, world’s most responsible man, even at seven in the morning.
Buck rubbed his temples, squinting toward the hallway. He could hear soft movement — the creak of floorboards, the faint rustle of someone waking up. Part of him wanted to bolt before Eddie came out, just to avoid the embarrassment of not remembering how he’d ended up here. But another part — the quieter, steadier one — kind of wanted to stay.
-*-
Eddie woke to the soft grey light of morning and the quiet hum of the fridge from the kitchen. The house felt still — too still. For a second, he forgot why his chest felt like someone had tied it in knots. Then it came back to him, all at once — Buck’s voice, low and rough from beer and tequila, the heat of his breath when he’d stepped too close.
And the kiss.
It had been a bit clumsy, unexpected definitely, and over too fast, but it had stopped Eddie’s world cold because its the only thing his wanted so much in a while. Buck had whispered his name like a secret, fingers firm against Eddie’s waist, before mumbling something soft — something Eddie had replayed over and over while he lay kind of awake before drifting off: “You're everything.”
Now, the couch creaked from the next room.
Eddie sat up slowly, rubbed his face, and tried to breathe, this could be the start of the rest of his life and its the first time something like that hasn't scared him. He found Buck sitting up on the couch, blinking blearily at the light, hair sticking up in every direction.
“Morning,” Eddie said quietly.
Buck groaned and pressed his palms into his eyes. “Ugh. Morning? Feels more like punishment.” He peeked up with a weak grin. “Please tell me I didn’t do anything too stupid last night.”
Eddie stopped in the doorway. His heart dropped so hard to his stomach he was sure he was going to throw up. It hurt. Bad. Really fucking bad.
“You don’t… remember?” he asked trying to keep from breaking down right there and then.
Buck frowned, tilting his head like he was searching his own memories. “I remember the bar. You bringing me home. I, uh—” He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Guess I crashed out here before I could even thank you. Sorry, man.”
Eddie stared at him, every word twisting tighter in his chest.
“Yeah,” he said after a moment, forcing his voice to stay steady. “You were pretty out of it.”
Buck winced, and sat up a bit. “Shit. I didn’t say anything dumb, did I?”
Eddie swallowed hard, his throat dry. “No. Nothing dumb.”
Buck sighed in relief, leaning back again against the couch cushions. “Good. You know how I get after a few. Mouth runs faster than my brain.” He grinned, soft and sleepy. “Thanks for looking out for me, as always.”
Eddie nodded, but it felt mechanical, like his body was moving without him. He turned toward the kitchen, just to get away from that grin before it cracked him open completely.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Always.”
He busied himself with the coffee pot, pretending his hands weren’t trembling, pretending the silence between them wasn’t full of something that had meant everything to him — and nothing to Buck.
Behind him, Buck stretched and yawned, oblivious. “Man, you’re a lifesaver, Eds. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Eddie closed his eyes. He wanted to laugh, to scream, to tell him you already did it — you told me, you kissed me.
But instead, he just poured the coffee and said, “Yeah. Don’t mention it.”
And he kept his back turned, because if he looked at Buck right now, he knew it would show — every bit of what he wished hadn’t been just a drunk mistake would lay there bare, for anyone to see and it cut deep, deeper then he expected but he knew, he knew he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up, he knew he couldn't have what he has always wanted, he knew he shouldn't have taken advantage of Buck being drunk to get what he wanted. Buck was going to have a life that he deserved, a life without loving Eddie and then just like that his whole world came crashing down around him. He had to talk to someone, anyone that wasn't Buck or something like that. If he went to Hen she would say something to cheer him up or to pity him and he really wasn't in the mood for that. He could go to Bobby, but to be honest as soon as Buck realises that somethings wrong with Eddie, and he will realise because they are best friends, he'll go to Bobby or to Maddie..... Maddie. She wouldn't give him bullshit, might tell him off for leaving Buck at home with so little to go on, but she would lay everything out on in front of him and get him out of his head. Yeah, Maddie it is.
He should really feel bad for just leaving a note and leaving while Buck was in the shower, but he really couldn't stay in that house, in that proximity to Buck before he collapses or breaks something or moves back to Texas or whatever. He didn't even know he was doing it before he got ready (faster then ever before by the way) and got out that door before Buck could even register the silent house. He didn't take his phone on purpose and thinking now that was stupid, but he now realises he's not exactly thinking straight right now (yes pun intended) and needs someone to set him on the right path before he steps even close to that house again. So with that he drove straight to Maddie's house not thinking that Chim would be there or other people, but he still felt weird given that no matter how close he and Buck are, he's never really talked to Maddie so he should probably apologise but who knows Buck better then most people, his sister.
Eddie stood on Maddie’s front porch, hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets, the late afternoon light stretching long across the quiet street. He’d driven here without really deciding to — one moment he was pacing his living room, the next he was knocking on her door. When Maddie answered, surprise flickered across her face, followed quickly by concern. Eddie offered a tight smile, the kind that didn’t reach his eyes.
“Hey,” he said, his voice low and rough. “Can I ask you something? It’s about Buck.”
Maddie stepped aside, gesturing for him to come in. “Of course,” she said softly, closing the door behind him. The house smelled faintly of vanilla and laundry, the familiar comfort only making Eddie’s anxiety thrum louder in his chest.
Maddie stepped aside, raising an eyebrow as she gestured for him to come in. “Well… this isn’t how I expected my Saturday to go,” she said, smirking lightly, though there was a thread of concern in her eyes. “Eddie, you look like you wrestled a tornado on your way here. Sit… or pace. Your choice.”
Eddie sank into the nearest armchair, rubbing at his face. “Yeah… I guess I do.” He ran a hand through his hair again. “It’s just—ugh, it’s Buck, Maddie. He… he kissed me. And not in a… in a casual way. I mean, it was like—like the entire universe just… spilled out of him. Everything he’s feeling, all this stuff he’s kept to himself… and it came out. All at once.”
Maddie raised her other eyebrow, leaning against the doorway. “Whoa. Slow down, Shakespeare. So, he kissed you, and then—he did a TED Talk about his feelings?”
Eddie let out a humourless laugh, the tension still tight in his chest. “Yeah, except the punchline is… he forgot it. Every single word. Every. Single. Thing. I mean, he’s smiling, like nothing happened, and I—I don’t know. I don’t know if I should… say something? Wait? Pretend like it didn’t happen? I can’t… I can’t even wrap my head around it.”
Maddie finally pushed off the doorway, folding her arms with a shake of her head. “Eddie, honey, that’s… that’s catastrophic-romantic-level chaos. You’re basically stuck in a rom-com where the lead actor has amnesia. Which, by the way, is hilarious if you weren’t crying on my couch.”
Eddie groaned, leaning forward. “It’s not funny! I mean, I can’t just… pretend. I can’t act like nothing happened when my chest feels like it’s been set on fire. And every time I see him… I just—ugh! I don’t know if he even does feel anything! Or if I’m just… imagining it.”
Maddie softened slightly but didn’t lose her sass. “Okay, drama king, breathe. First, he might feel it, he just doesn’t remember. Second… you’re not imagining it. You literally witnessed it. Third… calm down. I know it’s hard, but running around in your own head like a chicken with its head cut off is not going to make him remember any faster.”
Eddie exhaled slowly, trying to let her words sink in. “I just… I don’t want to lose him. Not now, not ever. But at the same time… what if I push too hard? What if I ruin everything?”
Maddie plopped into the armchair opposite him, smirking knowingly. “Eddie, newsflash: you’re already in the deep end. You can’t control Buck’s brain or his heart. What you can do is… survive this mess with a shred of dignity intact. Be honest, be patient, and maybe—just maybe—don’t completely freak out every two seconds.”
Eddie let out a shaky laugh, leaning back, a small spark of relief finally breaking through. “Yeah… okay. Honest and patient. I think… I think I can try that. I just… it’s so hard when it feels like he’s right there, and I can’t reach him.”
Maddie tilted her head, her grin teasing again. “Welcome to love, my friend. It’s messy, confusing, and occasionally ridiculous. But hey… you’re alive, he’s alive, and at least you’re not writing bad poetry about it yet. Progress.”
Eddie chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah… maybe not yet.” He paused, then added, quieter, “Thanks, Maddie. For… letting me ramble, for… you know, actually making sense when my brain won’t.”
“Anytime, drama king,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows. “But seriously—breathe, or I swear I’m making you meditate until your brain stops doing cartwheels.”
Eddie leaned back, staring out the window, the storm in his chest still there but slightly less suffocating. For the first time that day, he felt like maybe… just maybe… he could navigate this without losing himself—or Buck—in the process.
Eddie sat back, still jittery from the whirlwind of emotions, and ran a hand over his face. “I don’t even know where to start,” he admitted. “Do I… tell him everything? Or do I wait and hope he… I don’t know, remembers on his own?”
Maddie leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “Eddie, look at me,” she said softly. “You can’t control what Buck remembers or feels, and you can’t force him to feel something he doesn’t right now. But you can be there for him. That’s not nothing. That’s huge.”
Eddie swallowed hard, the weight of the situation pressing down on him. “Yeah, but… if I tell him, what if it freaks him out? Or what if he doesn’t feel the same? I… I don’t think I could handle it if he just… shrugged it off like it never happened.”
Maddie shook her head gently. “You might be afraid of that, and that’s normal. But keeping it all bottled up isn’t helping either of you. Maybe start small—just… let him see you, let him know how you feel in subtle ways. And when the time feels right, be honest. You owe that to yourself. And to him.”
Eddie exhaled slowly, staring at his hands. “I… I guess that makes sense. I just don't know what to do and how to navigate… all of this without messing it up.”
“You won’t,” Maddie said firmly, her hand brushing his shoulder briefly. “Because you care. Because you’re willing to face it, even though it’s scary. That counts for more than you think. You’re not alone in this, Eddie. And you don’t have to figure it out all at once.”
Eddie felt a flicker of hope, small but real. “Okay… okay. I can try that. I can… just be there, see where it goes. I think I can do that.”
Maddie smiled warmly. “Good. That’s all anyone can ask. And hey… if you need someone to vent to, or cry to, or just sit with while you figure it out… I’m here. You don’t have to carry it all by yourself.”
For the first time in hours, Eddie felt like the tight knot in his chest loosened a little. “Thanks, Maddie,” he said quietly. “Really. I… I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’ll be okay,” she said, her voice gentle but firm. “And Buck… he’s lucky to have you in his corner. Now, take a deep breath, and just… let yourself be a little brave. One step at a time.”
Eddie nodded, closing his eyes for a moment, letting the quiet comfort of her words settle in. Maybe he didn’t have all the answers yet—but for the first time, he felt like he could start figuring them out.
-*-
Buck stepped out of the shower, the warm water still clinging to his skin, and immediately noticed the small note taped to the counter. His stomach tightened before he even read it.
“Hey… I had to go out. Don’t know when I’ll be back. – Eddie”
He stopped, the towel around his waist suddenly feeling too thin, too fragile. Eddie was gone. Eddie had left…
Buck’s mind raced. Out? Where? Why? “Don’t know when I’ll be back…” The words looped in his head like a broken record. The casual tone of the handwriting didn’t match the anxiety clawing at his chest.
He paced Eddie’s living room, barefoot, the tile cold beneath his feet. Every little thing—Eddie’s jacket is not on the hook so he took that, the coffee mug on the counter hadn't moved almost like Eddie just disappeared as soon as Buck went into the shower. It made him feel more alone, more panicked. He tried to tell himself Eddie was fine, that he probably just ran an errand or needed space, but the knot in his chest only tightened.
“Okay… okay,” Buck muttered to himself, grabbing his phone from the couch and calling Eddie, but then he heard it. The ringing, but not just any ringing the special ringtone Buck put on Eddie's phone when he left it open that one move night and Eddie never changed it... then he realised, that Eddie hadn’t taken his phone. He left his phone here and left a note saying he didn't know when he'd be back. He could call, text, nothing. If Eddie was in trouble he could do nothing. If someone took Eddie he could do nothing. Absolutely nothing. "Fuck..." Buck breathed out in the silence of the empty house and it pressed in on him like the walls were closing in on him and he didn't know what to do.
Buck sank into the couch that he is only now realising is fully packed away and looked as though no one ever stayed here, maybe that's what Eddie wants.. no one to be here, running a hand through his damp hair, eyes flicking to the note again and taking it crimpling it in his hands. He replayed their last conversation, their last fight, their last anything in his mind, searching for any hint that Eddie was upset or needed time alone. But he couldn’t pinpoint anything. And that uncertainty… that gnawing, twisting uncertainty… made his stomach drop.
He wanted to wait. He wanted to trust Eddie. But as minutes stretched into what felt like hours, worry began to gnaw at the edges of his mind. Buck gripped the edge of the couch, the paper shivering slightly in his hand. He hated feeling this powerless. Eddie wasn’t just his friend—he was… more than that, more than everything. Eddie and Chris were Buck's everything and every second Eddie was gone without a word, without a call, it felt like Buck was losing a little piece of himself.
He exhaled slowly, trying to calm himself, but the knot in his chest remained, stubborn and unyielding. Waiting was the only option… but it was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. He started replaying last night in fragments, little flashes and half-remembered moments that felt more like whispers than concrete memories.
The way Eddie had laughed when Buck tripped on the way to the car, the way Eddie had held Buck when he couldn't stand. The look in his eyes when he leaned over to grab the blanket. That one fleeting touch of fingers brushing against fingers. It had all felt… normal. But now, as he sat alone, every tiny detail seemed loaded with meaning he couldn’t quite unpack. He chewed at his bottom lip, pacing again. “No… no, it’s nothing. Just me reading too much into stuff.” He said to himself like Eddie would appear if he heard Buck in distress because that's what he always did. What if he didn't want that, what if he finally had enough of him just like everyone else seemed to, he knows he's a lot maybe he was just too much, what if he caused Eddie to go away.
As he started to go down the rabbit hole he never wanted to go down, but the thought refused to go away. He tried to focus on practical things—Eddie’s routines, where he might have gone—but each possibility was overshadowed by a gnawing fear in his chest: what if Eddie was upset? What if he’d said something wrong? No, no Eddie would say something, anything if Buck had done something, he even asked Eddie and he didn't say anything.
It was already late afternoon and Buck approximates that Eddie's been gone for at least an hour but it feels like a lifetime. So he makes the most rational decision he can right now and he picks up his phone and calls the one person that wasn't there yesterday. Bobby.
Buck stared at his phone for a long beat before finally dialing. When Bobby picked up, Buck’s voice was low, careful.
“Hey… you got a minute? I need to talk to you about Eddie.”
There was a pause on the other end. “Yeah… come on over,” Bobby said finally, his tone cautious.
Buck ran a hand through his hair, trying to shake off the unease that had been building all day. “I’ll be there in ten.”
Buck pulled up to Bobby’s house just as the late afternoon sun dipped behind the rooftops. He lingered for a moment in his truck, gripping the steering wheel, trying to figure out how to start the conversation. Finally, he stepped out and walked up the driveway, his mind circling around Eddie—the tension, the questions, and the unspoken trouble that had brought him here in the first place.
***
Buck sat on the edge of a chair at Bobby’s dining table, the crumpled note still in his hand. His eyes flicked to Bobby, who leaned against the counter, arms crossed, watching him like he was trying to read every thought in his head.
“Did he… say anything to you?” Bobby asked, voice tight. “I mean, before he left.”
Buck shook his head.
“Nothing. Just gone. And he left that note, huh? No clue when he’ll be back, phone’s at home… weird.” Bobby continued.
Buck ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah. That’s what’s bothering me. He didn’t even take his phone. That’s not like him. Something must’ve happened.”
Bobby shrugged, but the furrow in his brow betrayed him. “Maybe. Or maybe he just needed to get out for a while. But leaving the note like that… feels off. Never thought Eddie of a 'leave a note' kind of guy, especially because of Shannon.”
Buck stared down at the note again, he never thought of that Shannon left a note saying she needed time and just abandoned Eddie and Chris, but Eddie wasn't doing that, just leaving him. He blinked the words practically mocking him. Eddie had vanished into the night, leaving no explanation, no way to reach him, and now all Buck had were questions he didn’t know how to answer.
“You got to give him space,” Bobby said finally walking slowly to sit next to Buck at the table. “If he left the note and didn’t take his phone, he’s probably dealing with something he doesn’t want to talk about right now. Don’t chase him down—just… wait, and be ready when he comes back.”
Buck nodded, but his stomach twisted. “Yeah… yeah, you’re right.”
Bobby tilted his head and Athena interjected their conversation. “And… keep yourself in check, Buckaroo. Don’t overthink it. Sometimes people need a minute, even from the people they care about. So I better not be arresting you for stalking or anything”
Buck’s head snapped around and he laughed a bit feeling slightly better, he's so thankful for Bobby and Athena, they are the parents Buck never had the pleasure of having, but his eyes drifted down to the note again.
“Right,” Buck said instead, forcing a small laugh. “I just… I’ll wait.”
Bobby nodded, giving him a knowing look, but didn’t press. Sometimes waiting was all you could do. The silence didn't last long though with Buck's thoughts on a runaway train. "But what if I did something really bad, I was so drunk and I can't remember shit!" He then shot up and took a big deep breath before looking to Bobby with Athena now standing behind him with her hand of his shoulder.
"Look Buck, if you did something that bad that it caused Eddie to run away I think you would either remember it by now" Bobby said trying to lighten the mood by the smallest amount "And plus Eddie would ta-"
He was cut of by the sudden whisper of Buck. “I… I kissed him,” he said, the words spilling out before he could stop them.
Bobby froze, a small bit away from Buck and slowly looked to Athena who looked just as shocked so he knew he wasn't imagining this. “Wait—what?”
Buck ran a hand over his face, feeling heat rise to his ears. “That night… I was drunk, and I… I kissed Eddie. I don’t even remember it properly. And now he’s gone, left a note, no phone… and I don’t even know how he feels about it.”
Bobby sat down again slowly, leaning back against the back of the chair and puts a hand up to his mouth. “Whoa. Okay… that’s… a lot, kid.” His eyes flicked toward Buck, sharp now, concerned. “Do you think he… remembers? Or… was it… I mean…”
Buck shook his head, biting his lip. “I don’t know. I can’t remember. And I can’t call him or anything. He’s just… gone. And I can’t stop thinking about it.”
Bobby ran a hand through his hair, exhaling slowly, Athena hasn't said anything just slowly rubs his shoulder. “Alright… first, breathe. Second… you can’t fix what’s already happened, at least not yet. He’ll come back. And then… you deal with it. One step at a time.”
Buck nodded, pacing again. The memory lingered, sharp and heavy, but at least now it was out in the open. And maybe, he thought, that was the first step toward figuring out what he needed to do next.
Buck stepped out into the cool evening air, the streetlights casting long shadows across the pavement. The city felt quieter than usual, like the world had shrunk down to the knot of worry in his chest. Every step toward his truck was heavy, weighed down by the memory he’d just admitted out loud and the uncertainty swirling around Eddie’s absence. He slid into the driver’s seat, staring out at the empty streets. The thought of Eddie—gone, leaving only a note, leaving his phone—made his stomach twist. What if Eddie was upset? What if he regretted… everything? The kiss, the night, the mess of emotions Buck barely remembered—what if it had pushed Eddie away?
He gripped the steering wheel, trying to steady himself. He could call, sure, but Eddie had left his phone. And texts wouldn’t reach him. No, all he could do was wait. Watch. Hope.
Buck took a deep breath, leaning back in his seat. He thought about the note again: “Went out… don’t know when I’ll be back.” A small, bitter laugh escaped him. Eddie hadn’t given him any answers—just questions.
For a long moment, he sat in silence, letting the night settle around him. The memory of the kiss nudged at the edges of his mind, insistent and uncomfortable, but he shoved it down for now. Waiting was all he could do.
And so started the car, drove home and he waited.
-*-
Eddie pushed open the door to his house, the familiar creak echoing in the quiet space. He paused in the doorway, scanning the living room. The note he’d left hours ago was gone but there was no sign of Buck.
His stomach twisted. He hadn’t expected Buck to be gone, part of him had hoped he’d be waiting, pacing, worried, like always. The house felt too big, too empty, without him or Chris.
Eddie’s eyes drifted to the couch, to the spot Buck usually sat when he came over. Empty. A small, frustrated sigh escaped him. He sank onto the edge of the couch, picking up his phone and flipping it over in his hands. Silent. Nothing. No messages, no missed calls.
The memory of the night bubbled up unbidden—the kiss, the haze of alcohol, the clearness in Buck’s eyes. Eddie bit his lip, trying to push it down, but it wouldn’t go. The house was still quiet, still empty, he knew he probably led Buck to leave because he didn't tell him anything, but it got to him when Buck was nowhere in sight.
Eddie leaned back, letting out a long, slow breath. “Where the hell are you?” he murmured to himself, the words barely more than a whisper.
The silence answered him. He heard the small screech of wheels in his drive, knowing the only person that could be coming here right now was Buck. He stood immediately, heart hammering, and walked to the living room window at the front of the house, eyes straining through the window. The engine cut, the quiet settling over the street. Eddie’s hands curled into fists at his sides, a mixture of anticipation and nervousness twisting inside him.
The door opened, and Buck stepped inside. Eddie felt his stomach flip, his pulse racing. Buck froze the instant he saw Eddie, eyes wide, hesitant.
“Eddie…” Buck’s voice was low, uncertain.
Eddie’s gaze locked with Buck’s, holding him there. There was so much in that look—apology, guilt, something raw and unspoken. Eddie’s throat went dry, and he found himself barely breathing.
Buck shifted, taking a tentative step forward. “I- you weren't here when I got out of the shower,” he said, voice tight. “I didn’t know…”
Eddie’s chest tightened even more. He wanted to speak, to explain, but the words got caught in his throat. Instead, he just stood there, letting the tension fill the room, feeling every small movement Buck made. He could tell Buck was about to ramble, so before he could even think about starting Eddie lunged forward sealing his arms around Buck first, steady and grounding, and Buck went rigid for a split second before sagging forward, pressing against him like he’d been holding his breath for years. He buried his face in Eddie’s shoulder, gripping him so hard it hurt, as if letting go would mean losing something vital.
“I… I needed this,” Buck muttered, his voice raw and muffled.
Eddie held him tighter, one hand sliding up Buck’s back, the other resting at the base of his neck. Buck clung to him, letting all the tension and fear seep out through the embrace, letting himself be small, letting himself feel everything he’d been bottling up. Slowly, almost painfully, his grip loosened slightly—but only because Eddie’s steady presence made him feel like he could.
After a long moment, Buck lifted his head just enough to meet Eddie’s eyes. They were soft, patient, and a little teasing—but mostly full of warmth and relief. Buck’s chest tightened, and without thinking, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to Eddie’s.
The kiss was tentative at first, a testing of ground, but then it deepened—slow, desperate, searching. Buck’s hands creeped down to Eddie’s slower back and pulled him closer and Eddie let himself be pulled as he tangled his hands in Buck's curly hair, as if proximity could somehow erase all the hours, all the confusion, all the fear. Eddie responded, matching Buck’s intensity, letting the moment stretch until nothing else mattered.
When they finally pulled back slightly, foreheads resting together, breathing heavy, Buck whispered, “I… I didn’t mean to forget… last time.”
Eddie smiled softly, starting to laugh. “I know,” he said quietly. “Firstly, last time was about 24 hours ago, Secondly, you were drunk out of your mind and third I didn't care unless you really didn't feel the same”
Buck let out a shaky laugh, “God… I really need to get this relationship shit on point”
Eddie looked as though he would eat him alive and Buck's face flooded red with the sudden intimacy. “Kiss me, Buckley.”
Buck doesn't need to be told twice before he's already in Eddie's space kissing him withing an inch of life, it crashes over Eddie like a fucking fantasy. He fists his hand in Buck’s shirt and pulls him in deeper, dirtier.
Buck opens his mouth further, letting Eddie’s tongue meet his in a heat. The feeling makes Eddie not want anymore then just Buck as he walks them back, not breaking contact, till Buck’s back hits Eddie's wall behind them, his hand holding the back of Buck’s head to keep it from hitting the wall with force he feels a shallow cold breeze come over him and he looks to his right and see's the door still fully open and as much as he would love his neighbours to know he has a man now, he can't help but pull back making Buck whine in front of him until he notices where Eddie is looking and reaches for the handle and slamming it shut.
They are still flushed against the wall and breathing like they ran a marathon, but Buck flashes his signature smile at Eddie when he looks back and Eddie can't help but smile and pull him back in. His fingers continue to glide through the soft curls, before grabbing them in a fist and tugging, bringing out a moan from the taller man, that Eddie hungrily takes down. His body fully against Buck’s now, and he melts when he feels Buck's nails dig into his sides possessively and he moans unashamedly, kissing Buck more deeply.
Eddie pulls away again, making Buck whine again with a little pout on his face and though it's funny he kinda feels bad. He looks Buck deep in the eyes and see's the slightest bit of doubt come over Buck. "Your not regretting this are you?" Buck asks looking vulnerable in this state searching Eddie's eyes. Eddie just smiles and takes his hand and without a word starts leading them to Eddie's bedroom, turning off the lights in the process, and just when they reach the bedroom Eddie takes off his shirt and strips down to only his briefs, catching Buck off guard, but he follows suite.
Eddie tugs him in closing the door behind them and slowly walks towards Buck and just as Buck puts his hands out to, basically catch Eddie because he was sure that they were about to really get into it, but the only thing Eddie was getting into was his bed. Eddie is literally going to sleep.
"Wait.. what?" Buck sounded genuinely offended by Eddie's actions and all he was doing now was standing in the dark as Eddie gets comfortable and cozy in his bed and it takes him a second to realise Buck is not joining him.
"Don't tell me your regretting this" Eddie sighs with whatever energy he has left to be somewhat sassy. He saw Buck's face go through about 10 different emotions before landing on confusion. Eddie gets out of bed and walks towards Buck with a little slump to his step. "I love you and everything, but I have no energy to really do something right now and it's almost 11pm so it's way past your bed time" he's laughing now, absolutely amused with the little noises coming from Buck as he tries to process what he just said.
With one more high pitched squeak he looks at Eddie dead in the face with hopeful expression "You... you love me?" it was so small he thought Eddie might not hear him, but instead he feels Eddie take his hand slowly and just smile.
"Cariño, I spent day at your sisters house debating whether to just disappear off the globe because you forgot that you said that I was everything and that you love me, I think love would be an understatement" he looked deep into Buck's eyes chasing away any kind of doubt and gives him a small peck on the lips before turning back and falling onto the bed "And my brain has been more active then ever before so I am in need of some sleep"
Buck is still just standing like he's waiting for permission to even approach Eddie and he picks up on that because he turns over and pulls the covers back. Buck makes his way to 'his' side of the bed and just lies there until he feels Eddie's head drop onto his chest and puts an arm around him before he finally relaxes and turns to be face to face with Eddie and the view of Eddie's sleepy eyes look up at him and nuzzle into his neck as Buck puts his hands around Eddie is enough to make him cry, but instead he sighs and kisses the top of his head and whispers "I love you too" before he fully lets it all hit him. Eddie in his arms and the gentle breathing like a white noise he never knew he needed.
"Forever" Is what he hears mumble out of Eddie's mouth and then a small kiss to his neck that makes Buck tear up again and just as a tear drops Eddie cups his face and says "Your everything to me too Buck and I want this, every day and night, every bad and good moment, every fight and kiss, all of it" Buck is fully crying now he never realised how much he needed that bit of reassurance, but he's glad he got it. He pulls Eddie closer and now really drifts off, knowing when he wakes up he's going to have the best person next to him and for the rest of his life.