Chapter Text
To all of the queens who are fighting alone
Baby, you're not dancin' on your own
~ Ava Max (Kings & Queens)
Carrie Heinlein’s morning started off well, as usual.
Her alarm clock was currently playing hits by Ava Max, and it made getting up a lot easier. Just like the coffee maker.
She danced a little around her small apartment while getting ready for the day. Her job in IT wasn’t the most exciting, but she still had her personal life.
If LARP and real monster hunting couldn’t spice up her life, what could?
No sooner had she stepped out of her apartment on time than her phone rang with a name that could only mean one thing. She was going to be late for work again.
Sighing, she picked up the phone: “What do you bitches want this time?”
Dean laughed: “Hey, Charlie. Am I calling before your first cup of coffee?”
“No, but lately you’ve only called when you need something, and I have a boss who’s constantly checking the clock.”
“All right, I’m sorry.”
“You don’t sound like you’re sorry.”
Dean laughed again and then said, “Then I guess I’d better hang up. I just wanted to tell you that Cas and I are officially together now.”
“Yeah, you better hang up… What?!” Charlie shouted excitedly. She actually jumped for joy and slammed the door shut. Work could wait, but the gossip couldn’t.
“Tell me everything and don’t leave out a single juicy detail. How long has this been going on? Who said what to whom? Who knows? Are you happy? Do I need to give you or Cas the shovel talk?”
Charlie’s morning couldn’t be going any better.
Garcia’s morning couldn’t be going any worse.
She had thought her idea was so clever. It really was a clever idea to catch the Winchesters.
What she hadn’t considered was how much preparation she’d have to put into the trap.
Yesterday, she’d only made it home because Kevin had dragged her out of the office and driven her home. She’d been so tired that she hadn’t even changed her clothes or taken off her makeup. As a result, her morning routine had been more time-consuming and tedious than usual, and she hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep either.
And someone must have broken into her place and drunk all the coffee, because she couldn’t find any anywhere in her entire apartment.
Not even Lady Gaga could save her terrible morning.
Penelope arrived at work exhausted and suffering from coffee withdrawal and almost screamed when Derek handed her a cup of the dark beverage.
“I could kiss you,” she whispered, downing nearly half of it.
Derek laughed: “Are you talking to me or the drink?”
“I’m talking to you, but my love for this nectar of the gods is greater than for anything else right now.”
Derek’s eyes softened.
“You need to take better care of yourself, babygirl. Your work is important, but not as important as you are.”
Penelope blushed slightly. It was sometimes terrifying how well her team could read her.
“I’ll have everything you need ready by noon,” she murmured, “Then we can finally cast the line. And with a little luck, our shark will take the bait.”
Derek gave her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.
“It’ll work. With your magic hands and our skills, your plan will succeed.”
“I hope so,” Garcia murmured.
Then the nightmare with the Winchesters would finally be over.
The only thing stopping Charlie from letting out a joyful scream in the middle of the diner was the fact that Dean looked like he wanted nothing more than to run away.
Her heart broke a little. No one should feel uncomfortable holding hands in public.
And that’s exactly what he was doing. With Cas.
Sam saw her first and gave her a knowing smile.
Charlie tried to banish any thoughts of John Winchester and sat down next to Sam to beam at Dean and Cas.
“I’m happy for you two,” she smiled at the couple.
She was also happy to see her boys again. These days, she mostly saw the three of them on Zoom because she was living a “normal” life. She had a job, she had friends, she had hobbies, and sometimes she deleted data that could incriminate the hunters and the angel.
It wasn’t often they sat together like this, which is why Charlie was proud of herself for insisting on it. Thanks to Angel Taxi, she could spend her lunch break with her favorite people.
They talked about everything under the sun. Or more precisely, the Winchesters talked about monsters, and Charlie scolded them again for picking a fight with the BAU of all people.
“What’s the problem?” Dean asked with a grin. “You’re the best hacker in the world and you covered our tracks perfectly.”
Charlie playfully tapped him with her spoon.
“Don’t think flattery will get you anywhere. You’re not getting any praise for breaking the laws.” She paused briefly, then added, “Even if it is fun to hack into police stations and the FBI.”
After the usual scolding, Charlie started talking about LARP and got a promise from the brothers that they’d play along again.
“We have to defend our Queen of the Moons,” Sam joked with a warmth in his eyes that made Charlie wish she’d met him sooner. It felt as if she were the Winchester brothers’ little sister, and sometimes she imagined she’d always been. It made the world feel less lonely.
“Queen of the Moons?” Cas asked, confused.
Charlie enthusiastically told him about the LARP and watched with delight as Castiel, Angel of the Lord, looked on with growing confusion. He was cute when he looked like that.
“You can be my court magician,” Charlie suggested enthusiastically.
Cas tilted his head slightly and asked, “Like Gandalf?”
Charlie nodded enthusiastically at the mental image, while Dean grimaced and Sam burst out laughing.
Charlie really wished there were no monsters. Then she’d have moments like this with her little family more often. Full of happiness and joy.
Without blood and tears.
All she could do was enjoy the moment and hope that they would have many more moments like this.
After lunch, Garcia gathered everyone together to present her research findings.
The team first had to get a feel for their hacker in order to put Garcia’s plan into action.
“I’ve tracked down every possible transaction made by our hacker. I’m sure I’ve missed a lot. We don’t leave a signature for everything, and not everything can be found in the vastness of the internet. I’ve also searched specific chat rooms on the dark web for our hacker. I think I’ve found them. In the chat, they go by the name NerdsBE4authority.”
As Garcia spoke, she handed out the file she had created for their Unsub.
“To be honest, most of the stuff our Unsub has done is exactly what I used to do before joining the BAU. They have a penchant for stealing money from big corporations and donating it to small charities. Everything I could find served a charitable purpose, even if it was illegal.”
Hotch looked up from the list of crimes: “It actually reminds me of you, Garcia. The same urge to do good, using whatever means are available.”
“That kind of urge often stems from a sense of guilt,” Rossi said. He looked at Garcia apologetically, and she didn’t hold it against him. He was probably the only one on the team who had the courage to voice that thought.
“Do they feel guilty for helping the Winchesters?” JJ asked.
Emily shook her head immediately: “No, that can’t be it. If it were, the hacker would have left a message for us long ago. None of the Winchesters can keep up with a hacker when it comes to the technical side of things. This hacker is helping the Winchesters because they want to. Much like Castiel, they must think the Winchesters are good people.”
“Unless they’re paying the hacker,” Morgan suggested, looking at Garcia.
Garcia shook her head immediately: “No, I don’t think so. In none of the money thefts were additional funds transferred to another account. Our hacker isn’t greedy. Money isn’t a motivation for them.”
“Her,” Reid said.
As Garcia looked at him in surprise, Reid had already reached the end of the file. Past the crimes and straight to the chat messages from the Darknet.
“Her?” JJ asked, interested.
“Yes,” Reid confirmed, “The language pattern suggests that. NerdsBE4authority uses some words and emojis that, statistically speaking, are more often used by women. For example, I’ve never seen a man use ‘Huhu’ as a greeting. Linguistics is, of course, very prone to error, especially in chat messages, but I’m eighty percent sure we’re dealing with a female hacker. That also fits with the charitable nature. Men prefer to seek revenge when they feel guilty. Women, on the other hand, often try to make up for their missteps. Taken together, these points mean we’re dealing with a woman.”
Emily smiled: “That helps us. If Garcia contacts her, our Unsub won’t be as suspicious. The hacking world is male-dominated. She’ll be happy to have a woman-to-woman conversation for a change.”
Garcia swallowed. The closer they got to her plan, the more guilty she felt for having suggested it in the first place. If the circumstances were different, she and her unknown subject could surely have become good friends.
“Let’s go through the chat messages,” Rossi suggested, “Maybe we’ll discover more about her character there. That could make it easier for us to make contact.”
Two hours later, the profilers were confident they had enough information about their hacker to guide Garcia in the conversation.
They had only one shot at this.
Garcia took a deep breath, felt Morgan’s reassuring hand on her shoulder, and invited NerdsBE4authority into a private, untraceable chat room.
It was tempting to find out NerdsBE4authority’s IP address, but the other hacker was too good for that, and any attempt in that direction would only sow suspicion. That was the last thing they needed right now.
Garcia typed.
Charlie stared at her screen in disbelief.
In the small black box of the new private chat room, the new message flashed innocently.
Black Queen: Hey there ≧◉ᴥ◉≦
Innocent, but Charlie knew exactly who the Black Queen was. How could she not know? After all, Charlie was her biggest fan!
She let out a shrill scream and then scolded herself. “No, Charlie. Don’t freak out now. You don’t even know if it’s really her, and if it is, you want to act cool. Really cool. It’s not like she was your first crush. Okay, your second. Hermione will always be number one.”
Charlie took a deep breath and then wrote.
NerdsBE4authority: What’s up?
After clicking send, she stared at the screen in horror. “What’s up? Are you serious? What’s up? Who talks like that?!”
Waiting for a new message was torture, but relief came just a few seconds later.
Black Queen: I like your style.
Charlie didn’t hesitate and wrote back.
NerdsBE4authority: And I like yours. At least, if you’re who you say you are. BQ has been inactive for a long time.
Charlie bit her lip. That was dangerous. Provoking good hackers was always dangerous. But hacking was her passion, and she had to make sure no one dragged the Black Queen’s name through the mud.
A code appeared in the window. So beautiful and elegant that Charlie had no doubt who had written it. She wouldn’t even have needed the hidden “Happy Fun Meow Meow” to identify it.
Charlie didn’t hesitate much longer and wrote back.
NerdsBE4authority: Convinced. I’m a huge fan.
Black Queen: It’s always nice to meet a fan.
NerdsBE4authority: Are you still single? xD
Black Queen: Yeah, but I’d rather stay away from hackers. Been burned too many times.
Charlie pursed her lips. She knew that feeling.
NerdsBE4authority: Too bad. But I had to try.
Black Queen: I’m flattered. But that’s not why I messaged you. ^^°
Charlie frowned. She’d been so distracted that she hadn’t even thought about what such a well-known hacker wanted from her.
NerdsBE4authority: How can I help? ^~^
Black Queen: Saying this makes me uncomfortable.
Black Queen: Someone said you might be able to help with this, but it’s not exactly… natural.
Charlie had heard quite a few people talk about the supernatural, and it almost always started like this. She hadn’t known that it was already common knowledge in hacker circles that she dealt with that sort of thing, but she had a pretty good idea of how the conversation would go from here.
NerdsBE4authority: That person was right.
Black Queen: That’s good.
Black Queen: So I don’t have to worry that you’ll make fun of me?
NerdsBE4authority: No. I can help you. (ง︡'-'︠)ง
The next message took so long to arrive compared to the others that Charlie was already afraid she wouldn’t get a reply.
Black Queen: A good friend of mine needs help. At first, it was just cold in her apartment and she was having technical issues. Now it’s gotten worse.
NerdsBE4authority: Define “worse.”
Black Queen: She saw a ghost.
Charlie wasn’t surprised.
NerdsBE4authority: No matter what your friend does, she should stay away from the apartment for the next few days.
Black Queen: She’s not going back in there for now. She’s mentally exhausted.
NerdsBE4authority: I have an idea. BRB
Black Queen: OK
Charlie grabbed her phone and dialed the speed dial for her favorite brothers.
“Hey, Dean. Do you guys have a case right now?”
Garcia nervously bit her lip.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” Derek reassured her immediately, “You were wonderful.”
Emily looked at Reid and whispered, “How did you know about the cold and the faulty equipment?”
“Research,” Reid replied, “It comes up in several sources, though most sources on ghosts were from a different era. My primary source was actually ghost hunters who call themselves ‘Ghostfacers.’ They have a whole community, but I have to admit, they’re too chaotic for me. Their explanations for ghosts made sense, though. I suspected that the Winchesters might have heard them too and added them to their delusion. Our chances were better that way than if we’d just blurted out, ‘I have a ghost in my apartment.’”
Hotch nodded in agreement: “Good idea. Hopefully it works.”
Garcia’s laptop made a noise, and she looked down with concern.
NerdsBE4authority: Some friends of mine are looking into it. Send me the address.
A smile spread across Garcia’s face as she looked up at her team.
“Guys, it worked. The trap has snapped shut.”
You killed my queen with just one pawn
~ Lady Gaga (The Dead Dance)