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Being a dumpster diver was an addiction of his, but using the word addiction would be an exaggeration. He just liked looking around people’s trash for fun. His parents didn’t know, and surely the guys at his music history course at his university shouldn’t know.
Sohee, a simple minded guy from across his dorm room, did know. One afternoon after a few too many blunts and a few too many greasy pizza slices, he made a request
“You know my place could really use some cool CD holders. Could you find one?”.
Apparently it wasn’t to actually hold CDs, he just wanted somewhere classy where to keep his video game cards and his two physical Naruto movies. Neither-less of his reasons, Anton had agreed. The first place he thought of looking at was the dumpster right behind that one vintage ornaments store his mother once took him to when she wanted to buy some cute teacups for her monthly bookclub meet. He remembered the owner being a nice old lady, surely she wouldn’t get mad if she caught a 21 year old man lurking in her trash on a Friday afternoon.
Anybody would think dumpster diving is an activity people do during the nighttime. For police and public humiliation reasons. Anton was different, he didn’t like holding flashlights and he often got scared of encountering rats in the dark. Or encountering weird psychopaths. From all the trashy metal compartments he had been to, this one had been the less trashiest, for the first time his 6ft body had no problem fitting inside it. There was nothing but a white bag. A minute passed where he reconsidered his life decisions before he got to opening it.
Paper recipes of the Chinese restaurant across the street. A rusted figure of a lamb that probably no one wanted to buy. Two broken picture frames. A notebook and plastic bags full of toilet paper.
He laid everything down nicely and neatly and sighed. Mentally he was rehearsing what he would say to Sohee “I’m sorry bro. I couldn’t find anything, you should wait till Black Friday”. He looked back inside the bag just to verify there wasn’t a hidden gem he had skipped over. There wasn’t.
Maybe he should have gone to ikea.
Doing a little “humph” while getting up, he grabbed the dumpster edge before looking back down. The notebook caught his eye. “I should take a peek” he thought, stayed still for what felt like 2 minutes and then kneeled down to grab it. Outside of the alleyway and down a nearby park he sat on a bench and unhooked the brown elastic that enclosed the object.
First page. Blank.
Second page. There was a date.
2/2/2025
But the rest was still blank. Was this just some shitty journal that no one wanted and threw out empty?
He flipped to the next page. There was a text. It said,
I feel like it’s behind me. I can feel it. If you’re looking at this, please be aware you’re probably not supposed to. You’re not supposed to know what I know. My eyes are black and my mind is a loop.
Anton blinked. He looked around to check if anyone was peeking behind him and reading what he was reading. Slowly he flipped to the next page, his heart razing.
A phone number and a text below it.
Please return this notebook.
Now he was confused. He looked around again, but this time to check if anyone was pulling a prank on him. He wondered over the contradictions in the contents of this notebook. Maybe this was someone who had been really drunk and accidentally dropped their notebook in the middle of an antique store. Maybe they were high while watching baby sensory videos and thought the dancing watermelon was a 4th dimension entity that was coming for them.
That day he didn’t call the number. He was practicing the art of anticipation and edging. What he did do was send Sohee an Amazon link and a text saying “Find it yourself.”
The next day though, he went back to the park and called the number.
It rang for a while. No answer.
He inhaled the cold autumn air and tried again.
This time an answer came through. No one at the end of the line spoke so he took the first approach.
“Hey! so this phone number was written on a notebook I found. It said to return it so I was wondering if it’s yours?”
But only breathing was heard. Anton waited a second “Hello?” He asked.
“Who are you?” A low voice asked. Skepticism obvious in their tone.
Anton hesitated. “Umm… my name is Eunseok”. That was a lie, but surely Eunseok would forgive him for impersonating him on a cryptic phone call. He was weird enough to understand.
“Eunseok… Where are you?”
Anton shrinked over himself on the park bench, all of a sudden too aware of his surroundings. This reminded him oddly of those creepypasta videos he used to watch on YouTube that gave him an off feeling. Slowly he responded “At the park….”
“Come over to this address" the person said after what felt like a 30 second pause. Anton wrote down quickly on his notes app what he was dictated. This person seemed to be full of contradictions, first with the notebook and now with how much they shared with strangers. Addresses are the last thing in the list—at least Anton’s—of things you share with people.
(…)
His mom had once told him when he was a little boy to never open the door to strangers. Now he was the stranger standing outside the door waiting for someone to open it for him.
Knock knock
He had given eunseok a quick phone call before arriving at the apartment building, so in case anything bad happened to him, he would at least have one witness—sort of.
The doors creaked open, but not enough for him to look at the person on the other side of the door.
“Who are you?” A voice whispered. Anton was starting to regret this.
“I’m the guy that called. Eunseok. I have your notebook”
Finally the door fully opened. A slim guy stood in what was a fully blacked-out room, which didn’t help keep away Anton’s fear of getting murdered. He saw how his eyes traveled from his face down to his hands holding the notebook.
“How did you find it?” He asked. Still whispering but at least this time directly to Anton’s face.
“At a flea market”
He lied again but surely he wouldn’t admit to being a chronic dumpster diver.
The guy didn’t seem convinced just based on how he pressed his lips while staring dead at Anton’s hands again. “So you read what was inside?”
Anton nodded.
The guy went silent. He was starting to formulate a plan on how to escape before he peed his pants. Right before he could drop the notebook down and take a run for his life the stranger stepped out and hugged him. He froze.
Wtf.
“Uhhhh….” He let out, the man didn’t move and as warm and pretty as his body felt against his, this whole journey was already diving into the beyond weird area. He just wanted to experience a cool treasure hunt like the lost media deep dives he watches on YouTube.
Body freezing from the cold hallway air and unmoving like a heavy rock, he looked down to the black hair below his chin and felt how fast his own heart was beating compared to the others. They stood there for what was probably a minute until Anton decided to speak.
“A-Are you….okay?” Concern came first.
Slowly their bodies separated at a more holy distance. The guys face clearer under the hallway light, heavy eye bags becoming the highlight of his features. He shook his head and reached out to grab the notebook from Anton’s hand. “You should come in,” he murmured. No other explanation.
Images of dead bodies and his own name appearing on the news flashed through his head and it made him gulp a heavy rock that had started to form on his throat. Once the black haired stranger turned towards the door he thought that was the chance to take a run. For real this time.
But….He felt guilty. Curiously guilty. So he followed him inside the unlit apartment that might end up being the cause of his death.
“What’s your name?” Anton asked. He at least wished to know the name of his future murderer. The guy closed the door, darkness engulfing them and silence soon too. He couldn’t see clearly but maybe his question made him uncomfortable, though he had asked the same thing during the phone call.
“Wonbin” the other said under his breath. Immediately after that he saw a candle flame lighting up the space. “What do you know about the universe?” He asked. Anton didn’t know what to answer, “Uh…nothing?” He said unsurely.
“What would you do if you had all the knowledge of the world?”
What was up with the cryptic questions?
“I don’t know”
“It makes you go crazy,” Wonbin explained, like he was sure of it. “I have been locked in this room for a month”. They moved deeper into the room, he had taken his shoes off out of respect and could feel under his socked feet all the paper on the floor, different words and drawings plastered on them. He stayed silent the whole time, no words left in him.
Wonbin laid down his candle and notebook on the small coffee table in the middle of what he assumed was a living room and sat down on the floor. Anton followed his actions, not wanting to risk doing a bad movement.
“I wrote on this notebook the day I saw a glimpse of it”
“A glimpse of what?” He finally asked.
“The world,” Wonbin answered.
And silence came through. Anton had no idea what was going on. Was this Wonbin guy just really drugged? Maybe he was a scammer and his victims were people that like to snoop around trash. “So you wrote in your notebook your phone number and dropped it somewhere so someone could find it?” He finally asked what had been on his mind this whole time.
Wonbin stared at him dead in the face, “Yeah”.
Anton scratched his chin, “Why though?”. Wonbin didn’t answer, silently he picked up one of the severely ink-scratched papers from the floor and raised it up for him to see clearly.
“Last time I tried stepping out of the house I started seeing the visions again. Staying in the darkness keeps my mind blank” he looked down deep in thought, though who knows how much “thought” he has going on. “I needed someone to come find me”.
“Oh!” Anton replied. Warm tones accompanied Wonbin’s face, yellow and orange dancing around the lit areas of his eyes. In them Anton could see that he genuinely meant everything he said. He felt bad all of a sudden. “So how can I help?” Wonbin looked up at him, eyes flashing now like a hand had just been reached out for him to grab. “I need-“ he hesitated, “I need a human touch. Even in delirium I still need to feel warmth, I have come to realise I can’t get that with just a flame.”
Now he understood why Wonbin hugged him first when he opened the door. Anton couldn’t imagine how lonely this guy was, he wouldn’t tell him how he found his notebook but he would offer himself if he needed to feel better. “Would you like another hug then?” He asked, arms and heart wide open. Wonbin nodded, slowly shifting his body until it came in contact with Anton’s.
He wasn't a religious person, nor did he know if he fully believed if Wonbin was a sort of spiritual being or a demon of some sort but this was the first time Anton felt a tingle in his body that made him feel like he was contacting something otherworldly. His heart beat too fast and his arms felt like jelly against the other’s back. He knew this wasn’t normal but yet he still held on. Wonbin breathed normally, but he was as cold as a dead body.
“You’re cold” Anton said under his breath, shivering chuckles coming out of him. This hug tingled in a different way compared to the last, this one felt like his life was being sucked out, his energy drained and his whole body trembled.
Was he actually dying?
Wonbin pushed him away before his vision went blank. He gasped loudly, air finally reaching his lungs, Anton reached out to grasp at his heart. His shaking eyes attempted to un-blur as he tried catching a look at Wonbin’s face. What was that? He seemed unperturbed, radiant even, as if he was completely unaware of what happened to Anton. He noticed how his eye bags, previously adorning his face like a warning sign, had completely disappeared. “Thank you” he said, but no reply came out of Anton. He could only swallow deeply, scared and out of breath.
Wonbin smiled at him, almost like a smirk. Slowly his hand reached out to Anton’s face, he flinched at the contact not knowing what it might bring. “Don’t be scared,” he whispered, “I won’t do that again,” he assured. Anton’s eyes shook and trembled at the sight of Wonbin, as if his vision cleared and he could see him clearly for what he was. A shining and beautiful face that for some reason pulled him in the more he looked but also screamed danger. He knew he had stumbled into something he shouldn’t have. Wonbin’s hand cradled his face softly, tracing his fingers all the way up to the back of his head, where he played with his hair and let his strands dance around his digits as if he were the softest dog on earth. Anton could only wonder what is he? But he didn’t dare open his mouth. Didn’t dare move an inch.
A few minutes ago he thought he was doing a kind work for some drugged out guy that was going through hallucinations, now he’s met with what he assumes is the actual devil coming for his soul and body.
“Chanyoung” Wonbin murmured, “I think I like you” he pouted, plump lips and droopy eyes looking at him temptingly. He felt like a pig being serenaded before its death. Wonbin spoke teasingly to him, he heard it in his tone and saw it in how he glimmered, one micro expression close to a laugh.
“I- I. How did you know my name?” He asked, finally clicking on the familiarity, though not so familiar coming for the man in front of him. He had lied to him, for Wonbin he was Eunseok, not Chanyoung, the guy that was stupid enough to enter his apartment and accept hugging him because he felt pity. He gulped what was left on his dry mouth. Wonbin stared at him for long enough before he shrugged, “I just simply know,” he said. No further explanation, no frowning or screaming about Anton being a liar.
He just simply knew.
That didn’t help to stop the fast drum of beats his heart produced against his chest. His eyes followed every movement of the mysterious man’s body as he got up from the floor, his own neck feeling a cold emptiness once his hand stopped caressing it. Wonbin moved across to a corner of the room he couldn’t make out clearly, it was too dark and the flame that engulfed him too dim. He stayed in suspension, waiting for Wonbin as he clattered around what he assumed was a kitchenette. Anton felt like he could finally breathe now that the other wasn’t beside him, should I take a run? He thought. His body shivered in anxiety, before he could get up Wonbin approached him, a glass of water in one of his hands.
He kneeled. Not on the spot beside him but on top of him, Anton flinched as his body came in contact with his, thighs hugging around him. “Drink” he commanded, raising the glass to his lips. Anton hesitated, for all he knew this glass of water could have been drugged, but the thirst in his throat became unbearable and the gaze from the man above him too intense to ignore. With a tremble he parted his lips and let the guiding hand pour the water over his mouth. “I won’t harm you” Wonbin whispered, watching carefully how his neck moved at each gulp. Once Anton was done and hydrated he wiped him dry with his thumb, dragging at his lip for a little too long. Wonbin grinned, the candle light creating a shine on his teeth.
“Thank you” Anton murmured, he didn’t know what else to say. He felt embarrassed, Wonbin felt too warm now as he sat on his lap and he wasn’t sure if he was even allowed to move. He responded the way he always does in events of uneasiness, he laughed. It was a shaky and awkward laugh but it was enough to get Wonbin to do the same. This whole situation had been beyond weird, he was sure it even entered the paranormal area. Wonbin’s hands found themselves lying on his shoulders while his own stayed stiff and flat on the floor, holding him up.
“Chanyoung, will you come tomorrow?” Wonbin asked, his voice deep and low against his ear. He shivered, a tingle crossing his body. Anton was sure as hell he wasn’t coming tomorrow or any other day but he found himself nodding just to make sure he could make it home in one piece. “Umm..c-can I leave?” Anton stuttered, praying on the inside as quick as he could—though he didn’t really believe in God.
Wonbin tightened his hold on his shoulders, really hard, hard enough it made him grit his teeth. He let go of him and got up. “Sure” he replied nonchalantly, like how he had talked to him initially. Anton got up as quick as he could, his legs had gone numb and could feel like a thousand ants crawled around them like static. He beared with the sensation and walked as fast as he could to the front door. Damn the dark hallway and the ominous person behind him that could attack him from the back at any second, he just wanted to reach his dorm room as fast as possible and maybe tell someone about what he had gone through. Before he could twist the handle, Wonbin's voice called out to him “Bye Chanyoung~” he sang in a sweet tone. Anton turned around slowly, at the other end of the hallway stood Wonbin with his candle in one hand and the other waving at him.
He waved back, he felt like being nice to him. Hopefully he would never have to be back there again.
Once out of the door he ran as fast as he could, his survival instincts finally kicking in. By the time he was back at his dorm it was already 4pm and he was sweating like a wet dog. His roommate Eunseok looked at him like he was weird, but to Anton’s luck he was too focused on his video game to interrogate him further about his odd phone call from before and his disheveled appearance. He wanted to tell him about his almost near to death experience but decided to keep it to himself.
Fortunately he had a journal—an actual journal he writes down his thoughts in and not his phone number and cryptic messages to invite strangers into his room.