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Takumi was a normal boy. He was the kind of boy who got excited for his birthday a month before it came. A boy who wasn’t very good at spelling, but then again, what kid his age would be? He made mud-pies with friends behind the school playground and pretended he was a superhero whenever he wrapped a blanket around his shoulders. Takumi was the sort of child who wished for a little brother or sister in the same way kids ask for puppies for Christmas. And, loving parents that he had...was told on that very merry day he anticipated every year for all the gifts and candy and joy it brought, that his mom was expecting a baby. They told him he would be a big brother one day, and Takumi couldn’t have been happier.
Two months later, his dad sat with him in his room as he heard his mom crying in the living room. The baby miscarried. They didn’t even know if it was a boy or a girl. For the next year, he watched as his mom struggled with the weight of it. Watched as his father tried his best to cheer her up even when he seemed like he was about to cry as well. Takumi understood their grief as well as any young child would and pestered them to do fun things such as going to the park with him and the like to try and remind them of when they were happy. It wasn’t for another two years that his parents decided to try again. And just the same, the baby died in his mom’s stomach. A girl, they learned when they went to the doctor’s and he broke the news.
Sat on a tiny shrine above the fireplace was a nest where two jade statues in the shape of babies rested. ‘Karua’ was engraved on one, and ‘Nozomi’ was engraved on the other. By the time Takumi was twelve years old, the same joys he used to have growing up mellowed out. He stopped sneaking out with friends on the weekend to play in the fort they built in the woods. He stopped hanging out with most of his friends altogether actually. Sometimes he’d meet with one or two at the movie theatre, but outside of school for the most part, he was helping out around home. Takumi was the glue who held his parents together, and he knew that. They needed him, and being the good kid that he was, Takumi did all he could to support them.
It had been an accident, they’d told him. His mom was pregnant again, and...rightfully so, they were all worried. They planned for the worst. But before they knew it, two months had gone by. Then three, then four. By month six, they were feeling hopeful and Takumi would hear his parents talk about building a nursery sometimes after he got back from school. Come month seven, they were discussing potential names. Several were passed around here and there, but they had yet to settle on one. Mirroring the day that they had told Takumi for the very first time that he would be a big brother, on Christmas day, they asked him to pick out a name for the little boy he’d be able to meet soon. Out of all the names his parents threw around, one had stuck out to him more than any. If all went well and there were no complications...then on his mother’s due date, March 16th, they’d all be welcoming little ‘Eito’ into the family together in the same room.
Takumi was a normal boy. Average in every way, even on his school report cards. He liked movies and talked about girls with the other guys in his class during lunch break on the stairwell. That was why, on the day he first laid eyes on his baby brother, he made a promise to him like all other normal kids do when they become an older sibling. A promise to protect him no matter what.
--------------------
Eito was prone to nightmares ever since he was born. When he was still a baby, their parents took him to the clinic to see if there was anything physically wrong with him. Was he digesting his food right? Did he catch the flu? Could it be an ear infection that kept coming back? When all the tests they could have done on him all came back negative, the only remaining answer was that he was having persistent nightmares. It happened to some kids more than others, but it wasn’t anything to be worried by. He’d grow out of them when he got older, the doctor had reassured.
But every other night or so, Eito would cry himself awake in his crib until either their mom or their dad came to coax him out of it. At some point it became obvious to anyone that saw them that they were beyond exhausted. From the deep bags under their eyes to their non-stop yawning the whole day through and the sluggish way they carried themselves. It dragged on Takumi’s heart seeing them that way after supporting them through their trials since he was six. He wanted to help them, and as a big brother, Eito was his responsibility too, wasn’t he? His parents protested at first, not wanting to put any burden on him whilst he was still in school, but it didn’t take long until they moved Eito’s crib into his room.
When Eito cried, Takumi woke up and rocked him back to sleep in his arms. When Eito cried, Takumi tried giving him his bottle to see if he was hungry. When Eito cried, Takumi sniffed the air to see if he needed his diaper changed. Soon enough, he was in a similar state to the way their parents had been when Eito’s crib was in their room. And when, at the end of his wits, but no where near giving up on taking care of his baby brother...Takumi lifted Eito from his crib and laid in his bed with him. On those nights, Takumi kissed his forehead and snuggled with him as closely as possible until they both fell asleep. On those nights, Eito stayed quiet all the way through until morning. On those nights, there were no nightmares.
For awhile, things returned to normal. Takumi would hurry home after school so he could play toys with Eito as he watched over him for their mom now busy with making dinner. Their mom and dad would talk about their days at dinnertime and Takumi would give a halfhearted answer when they asked him what he did in school that day. He’d struggle with homework before bed, usually giving up so he could watch TV for a bit. Then he’d curl up with Eito in his bed for the night, still wearing the hoodie he wore to class. It wasn’t until Eito was around three years old that their mom had the bright idea of returning to work. There hadn’t really been any reason for her to have a job as the money their dad brought home was more than enough to keep them happy. Still...she wanted to do something with her life again. Be a florist, or maybe a baker. A job that made others happy and gave her purpose during the day. Thus the decision was made to send Eito to daycare for the time being.
About two weeks into their new lifestyle, of their mom dropping Eito off at daycare in the morning and Takumi picking him up on the way home from school, something felt very different about his little brother. He was grumpier—more likely to wet himself than usual. Even when they played blocks together and watched the cartoons Eito used to enjoy, Eito fussed and made a scene. At bedtime, Eito would start crying when Takumi turned off the lamp on his nightstand and the only way to make him stop was to leave it on all night. Nobody knew what was wrong. Not until Takumi’s school let out early one day and he went to pick up Eito from daycare. There, in the room usually full of toys and toddlers waiting for their parents to bring them home...he only saw two kids playing with trains together quietly without supervision. Looking around the room confused, Takumi wondered if the other kids were in the room adjacent to this one having nap-time or something. But when he twisted the door open, he saw the lady who he once thought of as gentle and caring sitting next to the lockers, absently kicking her foot into the door of one of them as she blared music from the phone she was glued to. She didn’t even see him come in. The moment Takumi made himself known and asked where his brother was, she tried to tell him some story about how one of the other ladies was in the bathroom with him after he got sick from lunch. The music was still blaring. He wanted to believe her, he really did...and maybe in another world he took her at her word and went out into the hall to wait for someone to bring Eito along with them. But fate had another plan in mind—one that he couldn’t pretend away or turn a blind eye to. From the rows of lockers each fastened with a padlock...Takumi heard his brother sobbing.
What happened after that damaged his faith in the system meant to keep people safe. It didn’t matter what he said or told the police, the cops took the side of the daycare due to lack of evidence. Being scared of the dark and a problem child at home was ‘normal’ apparently. There was no physical proof of any wrongdoing or abuse. No cameras to prove he wasn’t lying just for attention. To everyone who could’ve actually made a difference, he was just a teenager acting out. At least his parents believed him. Their mom decided to leave the new job she was just starting to love and look after Eito until he was old enough to start school. The bed they had set up for Eito so he could have his own room went unused as that desire to keep him safe continued to grow—only quieting when he cradled him in his arms at night knowing that like this nobody could hurt Eito. Absolutely nobody.
Come the time Eito was old enough to attend school, Takumi was preparing to graduate. Though he wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted to do afterwards, he supposed he’d work somewhere easy and earn a bit of spending money. Everything was supposed to transition smoothly to their new lifestyle. Eito was supposed to settle in with his kindergarten class, their mom was supposed to return to work, their dad was supposed to get used to his new responsibilities at the office following his promotion, and Takumi was supposed to adapt to adult life. But like always...the world strove to disappoint him. He noticed it immediately when Eito begun to act more quietly around home. Hoping that Eito would tell him what was going on, Takumi offered his shoulder if he needed it and waited for him to come around before he took matters into his own hands.
When Eito’s kindergarten teacher called their house to discuss what was going on in class, Takumi listened to what she said with a grain of salt. According to her, Eito had drawn strange creatures when she asked the kids to draw their families and share what they drew with the others. Eito always had a wild imagination when it came to arts and crafts but nothing to be worried over, he thought. Either way, the kids in his class started calling him mean names when he kept drawing weird things instead of the normal stuff they all drew. They isolated him and made him feel like a freak. For the crime of being more creative than them. Hearing that made Takumi upset. Sure they were just children, but he wanted to give them all a firm talking to and let their parents know what they were doing. Such a thing wasn’t possible however, but Eito’s teacher told him that she’d handle it. The best he could do in the meantime was support Eito at home and make sure he knew that he was perfect in his own special way.
“Mii-kun, why does nobody like me?”
“Because they can’t see you the same way I can. You’re smart, creative, and I love you more than anyone in the whole world. I still have all your drawings saved in a book on my shelf.”
“Mmm...if you say so.”
“Eito...if they’re going to be mean to you and shut you out, then they weren’t worth your time anyways. At the end of the day you’ll always have me. No matter what you do, I’ll always take your side, so...”
Shut out all the rest.
----
Three years later, their dad died of a heart attack. He was young—still in his prime, and the news came to everyone as a shock. At the funeral, Takumi held onto Eito’s hand as they lowered him into the earth. Until that point, Eito hadn’t said a word or even shed a single tear. It wasn’t until Takumi began to cry that Eito cried too.
Dinners were quieter from that day on, and the only time anyone said anything was when Eito sat with Takumi on their bed and told him that one of the kids at school ripped pages out of his favourite book. Takumi promised to buy him a new copy on the weekend and that they could go to the bookstore together to pick out whatever else he wanted to read. Nothing changed between them since the day Eito first slept in his room as a newborn. Despite having their own separate rooms, Eito always snuck into Takumi’s after dark so they could spend the night together. Even grown up, whenever Eito tried to sleep on his own...he still had nightmares that left him shaken, unable to calm himself down. Eito was, and always will be, his responsibility. The promise he made to protect him no matter what only solidifying over the years.
Everything about this world—everything that he couldn’t control when he was separated from Eito—only served to bring his precious little brother harm. From daycare, to the children at school bullying him, to even when he got his first pair of glasses and kept tripping and getting hurt unless Takumi was there to hold his hand...everything was a danger to him. And after their dad passed, Takumi wondered if the same thing could happen to Eito out of the blue. He’d take his eyes off of him for one second and then BLAM, Eito’s heart gave out. His brother ripped away from him without warning.
He was scared to death of losing Eito. He didn’t want to go through this pain ever again...but what more could he do to keep Eito safe?
Squeezing Eito tighter as he held him, Takumi felt tears drip down the side of his own face as he feared that nothing he could ever do would be enough to protect him.
----
“Takumi, don’t you think it’s time to start living your life? You’re twenty-seven and still living at home...maybe you should find a nice girl and settle down somewhere—you know your dad left you all that money for a reason.”
He understood where his mom was coming from, but not for the reasons she was saying.
“I’d like to have grand-kids one day to spoil—Christmas hasn’t been the same since the two of you got older.”
At some point his mom tried dating again and he sensed her getting antsy having a son his age stuck at home with no ambitions. As if he was something to be embarrassed by.
“You know I’ve appreciated you helping out since dad died, so I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but...there’s a whole world out there just waiting for you to go on and seize it!”
The world was a heartless place. He didn’t care about integrating into it when he knew that life was nothing like the movies.
“Eito’s old enough to look after himself too. You don’t have to worry about him anymore, he’ll be fine without you.”
He won’t, though. If he’s not there for Eito, then the nightmares will return. Eito would have no one to talk to about his troubles with classmates—to talk him through the hard times or to disinfect the wounds he sometimes came home with. Eito needs him.
“I’ll...look into it.” Takumi muttered only to appease her. If he was ever going to go anywhere, then it’d be with Eito. He can’t trust anyone else to protect him—and if there’s going to be another man in the house then he didn’t want Eito to be in that environment. Sure he loved his mom, but she was in the wrong here.
Turning on his phone, Takumi checked to see where Eito was using the locator app he installed on both their devices. He wanted to talk to him about this and get his opinion. It wasn’t like him to stay out late, but he knew Eito would sometimes hang out by the river after class to destress.
Getting into his car, Takumi drove to Eito’s destination and was taken aback by what he saw. With a tone angrier than he’d ever used, Takumi stormed towards the small gathering of students drunk on beer and smoking cigarettes. “What the FUCK!?” Eito sat in the corner tucked away from the main group, taking a drag of whatever these addicts had given him with a loose smile on his face. “Get the hell out of here before I call the cops!” He expected a fight, and if they wanted one he would’ve given it to them. Instead, the teens scattered with their tails tucked between their legs and leaving Eito all on his lonesome. “Eito, what the hell are you doing? What did they give you?”
Sighing out smoke, Eito shrugged in a dreamy daze at him. “Don’t know, but it feels good. Wanna try?”
The anger he felt shifted into something darker. Uglier. Suppressing it long enough so he could talk to his brother without scaring him, Takumi sat down on the large stone next to him and weaved a hand through his own hair. “We’re going home. Throw that thing away.”
He expected Eito to obey without question. To toss the stick between his lips into the river and act like this never happened. If Eito had done that, then he would rethink the awful thoughts going through his head. But Eito just smirked and took another deep drag and puffed out another cloud of smoke. “No, I don’t think I want to. This is the best I’ve felt in a long time and you’re not taking it from me again like you always do.”
“What are you even talking about...?” Confusion rolled over his features as he pondered over why Eito even thought that way. “Since when have I taken anything away from you? Eito, I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for you. I know you better than anyone, and this isn’t you.”
“See? That’s what I mean. You don’t really know what I want at all and just go on thinking you do. Maybe I just want to be my own person and do what I want without you hovering over my shoulder telling me if it’s safe or not.” Reading into the way Eito’s eyes looked at him, Takumi thought he saw something teasing in them, as if he just wanted to get a rise out of him. More than that, he knew Eito would never say these things in his right mind.
“What you really want, huh? Why don’t you tell me what it is you really want then, Eito.” Giving Eito the floor, he leaned forward onto his knees as he waited to hear whatever bullshit thing he wanted that Takumi was apparently depriving him of.
Eito however, remained silent and flicked off a bit of ash from his roll and turned to face the river.
“Eito, tell me. I won’t ask again.”
Exhaling slowly, Eito whispered faintly, “if you don’t even know, then...”
Frustrated, he placed a hand on Eito’s shoulder, making him flinch. “I’m giving you a chance to tell me what’s on your mind. If you’re not going to tell me then I’ll have to start making assumptions.”
Eito craned his neck just enough to meet his eyes for a second with a distant expression before looking away again. He almost believed that Eito was going to open up to him and tell him what was actually bothering him, but instead Eito goaded him on further. “Use that big head of yours and figure it out, Ta. Ku. Mi. Kun.”
Doing something he never thought he would when it came to Eito, he grabbed his wrist hard enough to bruise and dragged him towards the car even as he tried to resist. Tossing him inside the backseat, Takumi safety-locked the doors and entered through the driver’s side. En route to the house they grew up their entire lives, Takumi actively ignored Eito whenever he spouted childish things to try and make him react.
For once he was glad that their mom was out with her new guy—or he assumed she was anyways—and pulled Eito inside with him. Bee-lining towards the hall which separated their rooms, Takumi forced Eito into the bedroom he never used, and held the door shut. “You can spend the night there for a change. Think about what you did.”
“N-No...” Eito whimpered as he fell onto his knees on the other side of the door. “I don’t want to...please don’t make me...” It hurt him just as much as it hurt Eito that it had to come to this. “Mii-kun...” Hearing Eito plead for him so pitifully like he was a kid again, Takumi almost gave in and let him out. It took everything to go to his own room and lock the door behind him. Of course he didn’t blame Eito for any of this. Surely it was those other students who peer-pressured him into smoking. They preyed on his weakness and took advantage of him. If he hadn’t arrived when he did, then they could’ve introduced him to heavier drugs—got him addicted and ruined his life. Knowing all that, he still took it out on Eito. What had he meant anyways when he said he ‘wanted to be his own person?’ That ‘he didn’t understand him, not really?’
Eito was his from the beginning, and he’d be his until the end. That was the one fact of life he knew for certain. Tonight...was the first time he genuinely felt Eito slipping out from his grasp and he couldn’t bear it. He had every right to react the way he did. He didn’t do anything wrong. He was just keeping Eito safe, like always.
Eating away at his mind was the terrifying thought that if he didn’t do something soon, he’d lose Eito for good. Deep down though, that darkness which had been festering within him told him what he had to do. It whispered in his ear like siren-song, beckoning him towards the only path available if he wanted to protect Eito from the world that was always so cruel to him. It was the only way. The only way.
Across the hall he could hear Eito cry himself to sleep.
Everything was ready save the most important thing.
Over the course of two months, Takumi had gradually moved his things over to the house his dad’s inheritance bought him. The place needed some renovations done before he could start living there—that was the excuse he gave to anyone who asked. Save for when he returned to his family home to spend the night, he spent most of his time working on his pet project. It was the most time he’d ever spent away from Eito, but it would all be worth it soon enough.
In bed, Eito clung to him and tried to tell him he was sorry—that he wanted Takumi to forgive him and not move away. Takumi merely listened and stroked his hair until Eito fell asleep. Then, on the day he said goodbye to his mom and packed up his bed whilst Eito was still at school...he put his plan in motion.
When Eito rushed home after school in hopes of seeing Takumi before he left and already found him gone...there would only be one place he’d go to wallow on his lonesome. The company he worked for was having its annual Christmas party a few blocks from the river, and Takumi would leave his car at the restaurant parking lot before walking there on foot in a dark hoodie. He’d give Eito the keys and tell him to wait twenty minutes before following after and to wait in his car for him, making sure he wasn’t seen. Eito would do so, because of course he would. He distanced himself from him these past two months knowing that if he was desperate enough, he’d do anything Takumi told him to. After the party, he’d find Eito laying in the backseat under a blanket, staying nice and hidden like a good boy until they pulled into the garage of his new house. Eito’s phone would’ve been left behind at the river so if the police showed up looking for him, Takumi would be able to give them enough of a lead to make their own judgments from. Junkies hung out there and he once found Eito smoking with them. It wouldn’t be a lie, and he’d have a solid alibi to fall back on.
Eito didn’t know anything up until that point, but he still followed Takumi inside his house as if this was their little secret. As if he still had school to attend tomorrow.
“Hmm...I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this.” Eito remarked as he looked about the way the furniture had been set up. “Then again, you never really knew how to decorate. Mom always helped you with it.”
“I’ll fix it up at some point. Come, there’s something I want to show you.”
Stoic and with a cold tone, Takumi guided Eito towards a trapdoor in the kitchen. “What’s down there?” Eito questioned innocently as Takumi descended down the ladder and turned on a light.
“Do you trust me?”
“...It’d better be good.”
At first glance it looked like a typical wine cellar with a rack full of bottles lining the furthest wall. Though the space was incredibly tight, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. “Don’t tell me you brought me here to drink...I thought you told me to stay away from that stuff.”
“Of course not. It’s bad for your health.”
“Well, what do you want to show me then if not this?”
It had taken a lot of trial and error, as well as more brain-cells than Eito thought he had...but when he pulled one of the wine bottles out and set it on the ground, Takumi watched pridefully as the middle rack opened up to reveal a hidden door. “Whoa, impressive...”
“You first.”
Eito had no reason to doubt him and opened the door to find...a room that looked just like Takumi’s bedroom before he moved all his stuff out. There was also a table to sit at as well as a small kitchenette as if someone was expected to live here. “Do you like it?” Takumi asked from behind, walking into him and pushing Eito to step further inside.
“Everything’s...the same...but why?”
The door locked behind them as Eito’s brain caught up to the impossibility that this was all designed for him. This was so out of character for the brother that protected him all his life, but also...
“I can finally keep you safe here. Nobody will ever hurt you again or try to take you away from me.” Takumi could see Eito’s shoulders trembling so he wrapped his arms around him and reminded him that he was here. “Do you want this too, Eito?” He would only ask this one time and never again. What happened next hinged on Eito’s answer here and now.
“This feels like a dream...”
“It’s not. This time I’m never letting you out of my sight again.”
Eito’s hands pressed into the ones he held against his chest. Sniffling once, Eito let out a sound that sounded almost like elation. “I do. I want this...I’ve wanted this for so long.” Good. Good. He didn’t want to force Eito if he didn’t have to.
“I’m so glad to hear that, Eito.” He was. He couldn’t be happier, in fact. And yet...that darkness he’d embraced in creating this space just for him wouldn’t leave. It weighed down on his shoulders and refused to let go. Perhaps it’d never leave him no matter what he did from here on out—his heart already too far gone to be forgiven. Their mom would be sick with worry when she realized Eito wasn’t coming home ever again. She might never recover from this loss having lost children before. Takumi would comfort her, but it’d never be enough. She could never know the truth.
“I hated...hated everyone so much...they were all so mean to me. To each other. The only time I ever felt myself...felt loved—was at home with you. I never wanted to leave, but...”
As Eito confessed this all in a soft whisper, Takumi wondered if this was what he had meant that night when Eito told him he didn’t understand what he really wanted. The part about wanting to be his own person was a lie, most likely, to put him on edge. He really did know Eito best after all.
“Is this really okay? I won’t wake up and everything’s gone back to the way it was...right?”
“It’s okay. You just have to stay here forever and I’ll take care of you just as I’ve always been.”
After he made something for Eito to eat, Takumi sat down next to him at their little table and felt the overwhelming urge to spoon-feed him like when he was a baby. Whilst Eito definitely wasn’t tiny anymore—taking more after their dad in both height and appearance—to Takumi he’d always see him as the small baby he raised from infancy and dote on him like so. And now there wasn’t any need for pretenses or keeping up appearances for the sake of fitting in; thus, when Takumi blew on the spoon filled with canned stew to cool it down, Eito let himself be pampered and opened wide whenever Takumi brought him his food.
Watching the way Eito chewed the vegetables and chunks of meat made Takumi smile from the purest parts of his soul. He was the luckiest man alive to have been blessed with such an adorable little brother. In this, he had finally fulfilled the promise he made to Eito the day he was born.
“If there’s anything else you need me to get you, all you have to do is ask.” Takumi stated as he cleaned up the dishes—Eito slipping into his pyjamas next to the bed.
“I can only think of one thing I need the most right now.” Had he forgotten something when he was setting this place up? Quirking his brow in Eito’s direction, he motioned for him to continue. “My Mii-kun!” With a bright grin and arms extended towards him, Eito made grabby hands and convinced him to forget the dishes for now.
“Alright, alright...~” Walking towards the side of the bed Eito sat with the covers pulled off, he hugged him warmly and they fell into the soft mattress together. Though sleeping in the same bed wasn’t anything unusual and a constant save the rare times they slept apart—he could count those nights on a single hand—he hadn’t seen Eito acting this way since he was shorter than his hips. It made him feel nostalgic and warm inside. This felt reward enough for going through all the effort just to get them here.
“Mii-kun, I love you~” Eito hummed sweetly as he burrowed into his chest.
“I love you too, Eito. Goodnight.”
It would have been perfect if their story ended here, blissfully content in the same comfort they’d known since they were small enough to still think the world a kind place where nothing bad happened. But slowly—so slowly that Takumi hadn’t notice it creep up...the way he saw Eito began to change.
----
The longer the investigation into Eito’s disappearance went on, the more the lines between fiction and reality began to blur. Eito was gone. Eito was safe in the room he made for him. Eito was gone—his mom called him in the morning, during work, on the drive home. Eito was gone—he feigned worry, anxiety, despair. Eito was gone—the police routinely interviewed him and his mom as well as those he may have known. Eito was safe in the room he made for him—after a tiresome day of acting the victim, of ensuring he was perceived as such by everyone in all aspects of his life...the tension in his body dissipated as soon as he returned to their special place. Eito was safe in the room he made for him—he’d be reading a book in their bed, already in his pyjamas for the night (or perhaps he never changed out of them when he was gone), the happiness in his eyes warming up the space they inhabited now that they were together again. Eito wasn’t safe in the room he made for him—one time when he got back from work, he found Eito suckling his finger after he’d just tried to make dinner for them. Eito cut it when he was slicing vegetables and the bleeding wouldn’t stop. He just wanted to be helpful, Eito had told him. He wanted to make Takumi happy, to prove that he had a purpose here. But he could’ve seriously hurt himself. What if Takumi hadn’t made it home when he did—had he gotten stuck in traffic, or if the cut was just a slight bit deeper?
That incident only served to worsen the tension that wrecked havoc on his nerves during the day. If Eito was still in danger even in the one place meant to keep him safe, then...it just meant he had to tighten the cage until it was perfect. Forks and knives had to be brought in by Takumi from outside when it was time for dinner. A camera was installed so that he could keep an eye on Eito even when he was away. The stress was getting to him, that’s all it was. It relaxed when he was home with Eito and saw him happy and safe. Basic human biology and nothing more.
“Where are you going, Mii-kun?” Eito questioned worriedly, tugging on Takumi’s sleeve. “You just got here...”
He knew it wasn’t fair on Eito to leave without telling him why. Especially since he hadn’t been there long either. “I just have something small to take care of, I’ll be right back.”
As he pat Eito’s head to try and reassure him, the pressure building in his gut grew when he saw Eito smiling up at him, relishing the attention. “Come back soon, okay?”
“...Yeah.”
In the bed he never used and only had for show, Takumi fell onto it as a horrible dizziness threatened to swallow him whole. “It’s just stress,” he reminded himself. It’s just stress. It had nothing to do with the face Eito made when he welcomed him back. How soft his lips looked as they parted to breathe his name...or how he sometimes greeted him wearing nothing but a large, loose shirt and boxers—his legs lithe and long, not quite filled out yet after his recent growth spurt. “It’s just stress,” Takumi mumbled, half believing himself as he palmed his cock through his pants before shrugging them down some more. If he’d ask, Eito’d do just about anything for him...even if it meant getting down on his shiny knees and putting his warm, pretty mouth to work. Eito had said it himself at one point—how he wanted to be useful to him. This way they’d both get what they wanted without Eito hurting himself in the process.
He’d be gentle, ease Eito into it. Start with the tip and tell Eito how to use his tongue. Eito would be hesitant at first, being his first time and all...but once he got a good taste he’d want more—taking Takumi’s cock in deeper without even being told. “G-Good...that’s good, Eito...” Sighing into the illusion guiding his hand, the lines blurred even further. In this moment it no longer felt like fantasy and that he genuinely had Eito underneath him, sucking his dick. “Haahh...nn...” Do you still want more?
Obedient and so willing to please, Eito would nod as he tried his best to take Takumi into the back of his throat—his eyes dripping with tears yet looking at him like he was enjoying it too. You like it that much? Soon it’d be impossible to deny how Eito’s hips jutted forward, a noticeable tent poking through his underwear. Knowing that Eito was getting off on sucking his cock somehow justified this self indulgent position. Eito was a growing boy, so him having needs too was to be expected...it was just that Takumi couldn’t bring himself to see Eito in that light before. A virgin to the very core, untouched even by his own hand. If the first time he ever came was because he had his older brother’s cock in his throat... “Nngh...! Fuck...” He couldn’t resist thrusting into the air/the back of Eito’s tight throat. But just as he was about to spill over and find relief, he heard something hit the wall on the other side of his open door.
There was nothing it could’ve been besides another person. And shoving his frustrations back into his pants despite the discomfort, he wasted no time in confronting them.
But instead of a thief or another unwanted intruder, it was Eito, meekly hiding away, having potentially seen it all. None of that mattered anymore though. His tone turned cold, a thinly veiled anger one wrong move away from lashing out. “What are you doing out of your room?”
“I—”
Cutting him off, Takumi barely managed to restrain himself from grabbing Eito’s arm again with that same violence he used on him that night he caught him doing drugs. “What if someone saw you? If someone else had been here? Then what? I thought you said you wanted this.”
“Mii—”
“No. Don’t bother.” Running his hand through his sweaty bangs, Takumi all but growled his next words. “Do you want to leave that badly? Abandon everything I built for you? Go then. Go, get yourself hurt so bad you’ll want to come crawling back.” What was he even saying? “There won’t be a place for you when you return.” Where was this vitriol coming from? His stress? The wound up face he wore day-in and day-out just for someone who didn’t appreciate it? Eito didn’t deserve any of this, but at the same time...why had he left his cage if not to escape? After everything he did, was this really how Eito was going to repay him? It was so unbelievable that he couldn’t hold back—not completely, but just enough that he wouldn’t raise a hand against the only person he cared for most.
He expected Eito to run—to get as far away as he could and never come back. He might have even let him try. Have a ten second head start. Eito belonged here with him, he wasn’t allowed to leave. But Eito didn’t run. Instead he sunk to the floor and clung to his leg—head pressed into his knee—and started to cry. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry...! Please don’t hate me...I can’t...t-the, the door wasn’t closed and...I wanted to see you, that’s why...so p-please don’t hate me, Mii-kun!”
Watching that pathetic display and the desperate way Eito latched onto him like he was all he had...there was no way he couldn’t forgive him. Still, he couldn’t let this happen again. If it had been like Eito said and Takumi had accidentally left the door open, then he just had to make sure Eito couldn’t follow after him next time.
The anger hadn’t fully subsided yet Takumi lowered himself down to Eito’s level and stroked his fingers through his brother’s hair as he pleaded for forgiveness with closed eyes and heavy tears. Even at his worst, he was still weak to the way Eito cried. “Shh...” Kissing Eito’s forehead, he then gave him one of his hands to hold. “Let’s go back.”
“Mhm...”
On the way back to the cellar, Takumi mused on ways to refine Eito’s cage. Eito shouldn’t be allowed freedoms if he was going to do something stupid like this again—something that could’ve ruined the good thing he worked so hard to maintain. No one was going to take this away from him, not even Eito.
With the police still investigating, it wouldn’t do if he made any risky purchases until they gave up and his mom stopped hounding them for information. He still had his backup plan in the event Eito hadn’t agreed to all of this in the first place. Though not ideal, it might be his only option.
“Go ahead, I’ll be there in one minute.” Instructing Eito to head down to the cellar first, Takumi took this time to find a chest of teabags in his pantry. Taking one out as well as a small clear bag filled with a couple tablets.
He saw Eito waiting for him on the bed, looking sheepish and small...like he didn’t know what to expect. “I’m sorry too, Eito. I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”
“I won’t do it again, I promise.”
“...” Unable to find the words, Takumi simply made a cup of Eito’s favourite tea and gestured for him to sit at the table with him. As Eito blew away the steam, Takumi pulled out the tiny bag and removed a single tablet before holding it out so he could see it. “You’ve been honest with me, so I’ll be honest with you. This is a relaxant. It’s reassurance.”
Eito opened his mouth like he had something say, but closed it when he saw Takumi drop it into his drink. The change in Eito’s demeanour was palpable—as if Takumi could see his heart beat through his chest as a bead of sweat rolled down Eito’s face. “It’s safe. You know I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
It went without saying. So long as Eito was a good boy and took his medicine without question, Takumi would forgive him. Even if he was scared, he didn’t want Takumi to hate him—that’s why he knew Eito would willingly finish his drink even if he saw it mix with the tablet. And that’s exactly what he did.
When Eito’s cup was empty, Takumi smiled at him like he always did. Lovingly, and full of compassion. “Thank you, Eito. You did good.”
Already he could see Eito’s shoulders relax and his eyes drift shut ever so slowly. Caught in the world’s longest blink, Takumi helped him back into bed intending to end their night early. Before he could move to walk over to his side, Eito tugged on his sleeve and held him there. “What is it?”
“Mmm...not sure.”
The small grip on his sleeve loosened and Takumi joined him in bed moments after. He hadn’t changed—he rarely did for bed anyways save for comfier pants. It wasn’t until he was coiled up in and around Eito such was their routine that the issue he hadn’t been able to resolve reared its ugly head again. “...Mii-kun,” Eito whispered breathily, noticing it too.
He kinda wanted to forget all about it, but feeling Eito flush against him with that dizzy, (drugged, if he took a second to remember) almost curious voice...made it hard to ignore. “You...saw all that, didn’t you? Earlier, upstairs.”
“My...mm...you said my name...”
God, Eito sounded so...so...sensual. Like he was trying to get under his skin and convince him to cross a line he previously thought too sacred to even consider. “Yeah, I did...” Brushing Eito’s hair back with his fingers, he gently tilted his head upwards so he could see the look in his eyes. Ever since what happened to Eito when he was younger, they always slept with a small light on...and what he saw reflected back at him appeared sweet, like yearning. “Eito, do you...want me to touch you?”
Eito slow blinked at him as if he hadn’t made himself clear. “You’re touching me right now...”
“I mean...” Takumi paused, rephrasing the question in a way that removed the need for an immediate answer. “If you want me to stop, just tell me. I’ll be gentle.”
Carefully, he trailed the edge of his hand along Eito’s curves until he reached his thigh. Eito breathed airily as he guided it through the small gap between his legs and rubbed at his more sensitive skin. From what he could tell, Eito seemed to like it, having Takumi’s hand so close to somewhere dangerous. Sliding the tips of his longest fingers through the slight gap between Eito’s boxers and his inner thigh, he eased Eito into the land of no return. “You’re doing good, Eito...your skin feels nice.”
Softly repositioning Eito onto his back, Takumi crawled on top of him underneath the covers and teased at his waistband, gauging whether or not Eito was ready to take it a little further. “Mii-kun...?” Imagining lust underneath Eito’s half-lidded eyes, Takumi tugged his brother’s underwear off just enough for his cock to breathe. “Mnn...” Then he did the same to himself.
He looked so pretty right now; he always did, but now more so than ever. Takumi couldn’t deny himself the taste of Eito’s lips when they seemed so ripe for the taking. Eito mumbled against the pressure, but didn’t protest in any meaningful way. Takumi was so certain he wanted this too.
Eito was everything. Absolutely everything to him. It only made sense they’d fit together like this...it was the natural order of things. Eito was born to be his years before he was ever conceived. His parents—god—promised him the gift of a sibling on Christmas morning, and though it took far longer than he would’ve liked, Eito came to him like a miracle fated for him and him alone. From choosing his name, to being the only cure to his nightmares even now...there couldn’t have been a world where Eito survived without Takumi to protect him. Eito was only alive now because he had such a strong big brother to look after him. Because he had Takumi. It was only right that they’d walk the path of lovers one day. This was what destiny had decided for them.
Grinding his cock against Eito’s as they kissed, Takumi sighed hungrily into him and pried his lips apart with his tongue. What sounds escaped between the often firm enclosure of their lips were like music to his ears. Eito’s decadent moans fuelling his passion to new heights. He wanted more, but knew it’d be too much on Eito right now. He didn’t even have lube available—he’d have to get some soon. Then they could...
“Miiii~” Eito trailed cutely as he weakly lifted his hips into the sensation Takumi was feeding him. Doing them both a favour, Takumi curled his hand around their cocks for them to fuck into. Around his tongue was Eito’s warm mouth and the sopping wetness of their mixed saliva. The fantasy he dreamt up earlier sent a throbbing heat through his gut as he now had an active reference point for how it was going to feel. Next time. Oh but next time he wanted to do something else; then again, it may have been too much for Eito to take right away. They had their whole lives ahead of them to get it right. He could exercise patience...go slowly until Eito got used to it. Until Eito was practically begging him for it the moment he got home. That thought was driving him up the wall—quickening his thrusts as he managed to pull himself off Eito’s lips to help them breathe through their approaching orgasm. Every noise that came out from Eito’s mouth he wanted to engrave into the deepest recesses of his brain. He wanted to record him and play it back on repeat like his favourite song. “Aaah...a-ahh! Miiii! Umiiii~!” Together they rode out their high—Takumi collapsing onto Eito as their cum blanketed their stomachs. “Mmhh...”
The thought to get them both cleaned up escaped him in the moment. All he wanted to do was hold Eito closer than ever, stuck together like glue until the morning.
Repositioning themselves on their sides again, Takumi drifted off watching Eito fall asleep first. He loved him with all that he was, and this only strengthened the bond they shared. If clarity was supposed to find someone after coming down from sex, then this was it. The firm belief that this was meant to happen...and no matter what he did to Eito, it would always be his god-given right. “Sleep well, Eito...I love you.”
Over time, Takumi started to notice the wires in Eito’s brain getting crossed. The medicine he continued to give to him lasted throughout the day until his next dose, but gradually Eito’s body adapted and became more tolerant. So used to coming home after a long day of work and seeing Eito’s groggy, but fully relaxed expression—ready to accept whatever Takumi did to him—to now finding him restless and pacing the room, frustrated...he felt like their sanctuary was beginning to fracture yet again. It was too late to go back to how they were; to when Eito didn’t need medicine to keep him happy. Even if it wasn’t, neither of them wanted to anyways.
There were risks with upping his dose—Eito was already on the strongest one available. These risks weighed on Takumi’s sober mind more than they did Eito’s, who, whenever Takumi gave him his daily medicine returned the favour through sex.
It was almost definitely Takumi’s fault that sex and the pills he gave Eito became synonymous with each other. Not that he minded, what with being able to release all that pent-up tension from an exhausting day into either Eito’s throat or the hole between his legs. No longer was the medicine needed to keep Eito confined to his room seeing as by the time Takumi got back it had already worn off. Its only purpose now was to sate their cravings—Eito just wanting the world to slow down without having to think anymore, and Takumi’s needs as a grown man to have a warm hole to fuck make love to.
He knew that he had to make up his mind the moment he returned to find Eito scratching his arm until it bled.
They didn’t even take a second to greet each other before Eito was standing before him, his lips parted and waiting. Giving him exactly what he required, Takumi popped a pill into his mouth—lifting Eito up by his hips and carrying him towards the bed.
In less time than it took to blink twice, Takumi was on top of Eito on their bed examining the tiny red droplets that bloomed from the long lines he made. “Is it that bad? Without your meds?” He licked the blood they shared as brothers as if it would cure him. With his left hand, Takumi began to shimmy off Eito’s underwear despite his concern.
“Mhm...it’s too much. I hate it—hate how my mind spirals in on itself like a spinning top that just won’t stop. But it’s better now that you’re here. I wish you never had to leave.” So you could give me my medicine whenever I needed it.
“What do you think about?” Eito flinched, arching his back when Takumi ran his fingers around the still wet, puckered rim that always seemed ready to take him whenever he wanted.
As Eito answered, Takumi was pulling down his pants, cock already aching with anticipation. “Things like...you being mad at me, or hating me and wanting me gone...” Hooking a leg around Takumi’s back, Eito drew him closer, just as impatient as he was. “Tell me you love me.”
“I love you.” He’d been looking forward to this since he got in his car after work. Imagining how tight Eito would feel squeezing his cock with his warm body. “I love you, Eito.”
With that, Takumi made to push himself inside, met only with the resistance of half a day’s recovery from when he took him this morning. “I’ll fix this. I’ll get you what you need, whatever it takes.”
“Please~”
Locking their lips together, their bodies as one again, Takumi kissed away any doubts Eito had developed over the day and rutted into him needing to vent the stress he’d accumulated himself. “You’re always so good to me,” he breathed as their lips separated so he could nip at Eito’s sensitive neck. He’d marked him so thoroughly and often enough that the bruises left on his skin were as permanent as tattoos. The deeper ones—the marks that he returned to over and over again—had to be extremely painful, even to accidentally brush against with a feather. Those were his favourite out of all of them, and Eito’s too. Whenever he kissed them, sucked on them, or bit into them with his teeth, Eito would squeal in a masochistic pleasure, tightening even more around his cock as if to incentivize Takumi into biting them harder. “Eito,” Takumi cooed as he moved his teeth to his ear and nibbled gently—working his fingers into the red, purple, and yellow stains on his neck as he did. “I love you. I can still feel my cum inside you from this morning...I love it—knowing I’m still inside you even when I’m gone. Makes me want to fill you up more.”
Eito whimpered cutely, pulling away from him when Takumi introduced his tongue to the entrance of his ear canal. Each time Takumi found a new spot that made Eito keen for him like a virgin again, he always made sure to exploit it. It amazed him how Eito trembled with his whole body when he circled the little hairs of his inner ear with the tip of his tongue. Forcing it in a little further, he delighted in the noise Eito made—something caught between a gasp, a cough, and a giggle. When Eito was little he was weak to tickling and this reminded him of that. It was adorable then, and it was still adorable now, albeit with a sexual charm having made Eito his lover. “Miiii-kun, stop~!” His next thrust must’ve hit Eito just right as all the stimuli Takumi was giving him brought him to the edge, barrelling over it as orgasm struck, “aahhh!”
He loved making Eito cum before he did—feeling the way his body contracted and spasmed around his cock was unlike anything else and it helped to guide him through his own release. As promised, Takumi plunged his cock as deep as Eito could take him and rode out his high until his brother’s hole milked him of every last drop. Eito appeared as if he was floating on cloud-nine, completely and utterly relaxed with barely a trace of conscious thought behind his eyes. He always looked like that after his medicine kicked in—or as Takumi preferred to perceive it: after they made love.
As he pulled out from Eito, his cock dragged a trail of his seed out with it. There was something primal about it—something like human nature—both in the act itself and in seeing his load spilling out from either of Eito’s holes. Later in the night, he’d like to fuck his throat too. It was always so erotic testing the limits of how deep Eito could take him until he gagged. Soon he’d fit the whole length in his hot mouth until he choked on it and was made to swallow his cum without needing to pull out.
“You’re perfect, Eito. I could never be mad at you when you’re like this...” Laying next to him for a moment to admire every little beautiful thing about his brother, he eventually found himself holding the arm Eito had scratched red. It wasn’t bleeding anymore, but he should probably disinfect it to be safe. He couldn’t let this happen again, even if it meant taking some risks. On the surface, the investigation into Eito’s disappearance had turned cold. The detective working it could only offer their mom speculations and assumptions—giving her some hope her son was still alive and out there somewhere. Of course, she’d never accept that Eito ran away from home on his own. The authorities may have given up, but she wouldn’t.
Regardless, it opened up some more opportunities to acquire stronger medicines.
Medicine...
At some point he had to stop deluding himself that it was something Eito took as prescribed by a doctor to treat a condition he didn’t have. He wasn’t sick, he was addicted. And though it came in a pill bottle given out at pharmacies, it stopped being ‘medicine’ long ago. If he went down this path—which by now he was convinced there was no other choice but to follow through with what he started—then he’d have to call it what it is. A drug.
He’d be giving his brother drugs to keep him complacent in his confinement when he had to leave for work. A twisted irony, that. Having made this place to keep Eito away from such things that would hurt him—inspired when he saw Eito smoking by the river.
Closing his eyes and shaking off that horrid admittance, Takumi knew that this was different. It had to be different, because he was the one providing Eito with drugs instead of lowlife junkies that didn’t care if he overdosed and died from a bad hit. Takumi would keep him safe—would monitor him closely to make sure nothing happened. This was because he loved him. Takumi was only doing this for Eito’s own good. He loved him so that made this okay. He swore to always protect him, so that made this okay. If he wanted things to stay the same—for the cozy cage he made Eito to endure anything—this had to be done.
Kissing Eito’s arm once, and then twice—five times before he made a line of them all the way up his scratches, he silently promised Eito he’d do whatever it took to prevent this from ever repeating itself.
“I’ll draw you a bath, and then...how about I make us steak and eggs for dinner?”
----
On Christmas day, a little over a year since Eito vanished in the public’s eye, Takumi left a card in his mom’s mailbox like a dutiful son should, reflecting on a memory of that same day years back when all four of them were together as a family. For Eito, he awoke him with a kiss to the forehead and a hand down his pants.
“Morning, Sunshine.”
Only, Eito’s eyes lost their gleam he had gotten so accustomed to getting lost in. Taking its place was a blank stillness that only twinkled when Takumi brought him his next fix. It was fine this way. They were both happy and safe in each others arms, and this was how it should be. How long had it been since Eito had last seen the sun, or even the moon? Did it matter? So long as they were together, trivial details like that were unimportant.
When Eito’s spend covered his hand, his orgasm quiet and uneventful, Takumi sat up and thought about making a nice breakfast. “Feel like a cup of coffee?” He asked as he wiped his hand clean on a tissue.
“Nnn...you know what I want,” Eito sighed distantly, reaching for Takumi’s waist to wrap his arms around.
“I know. Soon, okay? Let’s have breakfast first.”
Eito let go, disappointed and closing his eyes again like he didn’t want to be awake if it meant feeling this empty. “Not hungry,” he said as he curled up into a ball under the blankets.
“You have to eat anyways. Bad boys don’t get any candy, you know that.”
“Fine...”
Once upon a time, many Christmases ago, Takumi never thought they’d be where they are today. Innocently believing in a world that was compassionate and kind that treated everyone fairly. He never thought it’d get to a point where this was the best and only solution for them. More than being innocent, the Takumi of back then was ignorant. Blinded by naive faith that all children should be allowed to experience...except Eito never got to experience it, not even for a moment. The only time he was ever happy was when they were together at home, cuddled up and warm. That’s why...Takumi couldn’t regret the actions he took that led them here to now.
This was as it should be.
As it should be.
As it was always meant to be.