Archive of Our Own

Logan couldn’t say he celebrated many holidays. Hell, the most recent one he celebrated was Wade’s birthday and that was purely coincidental. It just so happened the day he was dragged out of his universe to save the entire multiverse was the birthday of the same idiot who kidnapped him. Ever since then, however, he’d been rather avoidant of holidays. Maybe he stuck around for Christmas and New Years with Wade and his friends, but he didn’t exactly celebrate them. Not willingly at least. He was just sort of… there.

It was unavoidable now he was living with his kidnapper, one Wade Wilson. That guy was holiday mad. It was all or nothing with Wade, he celebrated practically everything, even obscure holidays such as Wear a Plunger on Your Head Day and National Whiners Day (yes, according to the internet, these are real holidays, and no, Logan did not partake). Logan just left him be, if Wade wanted to celebrate these stupid holidays he wasn’t going to stop him. Though, considering what was to come that day, maybe he should’ve shut this down sooner.

“Happy Opposite Day, pookie!” 

“What?” Logan had woken to quite the ridiculous sight. He had to blink a couple of times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. There Wade was, standing with his boxers on his head, his arms through his trouser legs and his legs through the sleeves of his shirt. How Wade managed all this, Logan didn’t know. He didn’t think he wanted to know either.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Logan grumbled, bed squeaking beneath his weight as he sat up. He didn’t care what time it was, it was too damn early for this. 

“It’s Opposite Day!” Wade simply answered, a slanted grin on his face. “Actually I should be saying it’s not Opposite Day, but I’m keeping the confusing opposite speak to a minimum right now.”

Now Logan usually didn’t understand some of the shit that came out of Wade’s mouth, but this is the first time he felt he was spouting genuine nonsense. All this Opposite Day BS was giving him a headache.

“Opposite Day isn't real.” Logan huffed. “It’s just a stupid holiday kids came up with for fun.”

Logan doesn’t miss the dramatic gasp that left Wade’s lips, nor the way he clasped his hand around imaginary pearls. 

“Opposite Day is very real, peanut! It’s got its own date and everything!” Logan didn’t care enough to listen to Wade’s little spiel. He did this every time Logan denied the existence of one of his stupid celebrations. He’d rather spend his time doing something more productive, like getting the fuck out of bed and away from the sight of Wade.

He lugged his heavy body up and off the mattress, avoiding whatever junk was left cluttered around the floor, making his way towards the bathroom. He wasted no time getting ready for the day, showering and getting dressed himself. He didn’t really have any plans that day, but he had a feeling Wade would find a way to drag him out of the apartment and into the real world.

When he walked back out, he was met with even more of Wade’s idiocy. Not only was he still dressed wrong, his clothes barely covering him up, but now he was doing something else backwards. There he was in the kitchen, holding a frying pan upside down as he tried to cook… a carton of eggs? Well at least the stove wasn’t turned on, so it’s not like he’d burn the place down or anything. Flabbergasted beyond belief, Logan simply strolled up behind Wade, taking the pan and egg carton from his hands.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Logan feels he’ll be asking this question a lot today.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Wade pouted, gesturing to the items now in Logan's hands. “I’m cooking the best dinner ever!”

Considering it was “Opposite Day”, as Wade claimed, Logan wondered if he was supposed to take what he was saying literally or find its opposite meaning. God, he wasn’t nearly drunk enough to deal with this shit.

“Shut up, I’ll do it.” Logan grumbled, shoving Wade out of the way of the stove. 

“Ugh, fuck you.” Wade replied cheerily, giving Logan’s shoulder a light punch as he walked backwards out the kitchen. Was that supposed to be a thank you? God, Logan didn’t know, this shit was messing with his head. He just decided to keep his head down and get breakfast done, at least that made sense. He didn’t have to decipher the recipe as if he was reading hieroglyphics. 

Logan went with something simple, eggs and bacon, serving up a plate for Wade who… proceeded to hold his fork and knife the wrong way. Logan wasn't sure if he could watch this shit show any longer, already dreading having to deal with this stupid holiday for a whole day.

“Fuck’s sake, Wade!” Logan snapped, stomping up to the dining table, standing right behind Wade’s chair and grabbing his hands. It was honestly a surprise Wade was even sitting correctly in that damn chair. Ensuring Wade was holding the utensils correctly first, Logan forced Wade's hands to move himself, shovelling forkful after forkful of breakfast into his mouth. He hated how much Wade seemed to enjoy it, clearly struggling to act disgusted by the act.

God, he just wanted this day to be over already.

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Logan wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. Understanding Wade sometimes was already a challenge, but now it was nearly impossible. That wasn’t even mentioning all the stupid shit he’d started doing. He had to literally wrestle Wade to put on some proper clothes, an experience that wasn’t nearly as fun as it possibly sounded. He didn’t exactly sign up to a tussle with a very nude Wade, nor was such a task on his bucket list.

As expected, Wade already had plans for the day, or he assumed he did. He said they “didn’t” have plans, so that meant they did, right? 

“So what the hell are we here for?” Logan raised a brow, looking at the many shops around them. Wade had dragged him to this massive shopping centre, walking correctly now at least, but he was still speaking god damn nonsense.

“We are not here for super fancypants costumes and I certainly do not want to grab some lunch here either!”

Logan was so close to just strangling Wade. He was about to get on his last nerve.

“You can’t drop this god damn Opposite Day shit for one fucking second, can you?” Logan huffed, dragging Wade by the scruff of his hoodie. “Let’s just get this stuff and get the hell out.”

Wade didn’t protest, he didn’t even fight back, allowing Logan to practically drag him across the floor to their first stop. The store looked fancy enough. Designer clothes displayed in mannequins in the window, crowds of people weaving in and out, generic pop songs playing overhead. If this wasn't the most snobbish, high end store in the mall then he didn't know what was.

“What the hell do you need fancy ass clothes for anyway?” Logan knew he wouldn't get a straight forward answer like he wanted, but he thought he may as well ask. It wasn't exactly a common every day item they were getting after all.

“We, Peanut.” Wade remarked with a grin, one that Logan didn't like the looks whatsoever. That was his signature “I'm dragging you into some insane, batshit plan” look.

“I totally didn't set us up with this super cool hit on Merk for this generic, rich, CEO, gang leader, what's his face dude!”

“What?”

“Oh, Merk is this cool and totally real app I have that's kinda like Uber for mercenary work. It showed up in the 2016, Slapstick Infinite Comic─”

“Not that!” Logan huffed out in frustration, it taking every morsel of willpower in him to not stab Wade right in his stupid face. “Why the hell are you telling me now? Would it have killed you to give me a heads up beforehand?!”

Wade, clearly noticing the very agitated Wolvie before him, seemed to finally drop the Opposite Day shtick, if only for a moment. 

“Yeaaaaah… sorry Pookie, kinda slipped the ol’ noggin.” Wade playfully hit his hand against his head, as if attempting to rattle his brain back into place. “You're totally still down though, right?”

God did Logan want to say no. To just storm off and leave him there in the middle of the store, but he couldn't. He'd gone soft, and it was all for this stupid asshole.

“What’s the job?” Logan sighed in defeat, following Wade as he led him further into the store. He felt like an obedient little puppy following his master, and he hated it.

“So there's this huge party going on, and I mean HUGE,” Wade began sifting through a nearby clothing rack; his gaze seeming to catch on a sleek white suit, “full of all these stupidly rich people who are probably evil and have a 80% chance of being British.”

“Just get to the point.”

“Well, the guy we are after is like, the head honcho of this underground criminal organisation. I don't know, something like that, but we’re getting paid big fucking money to kill him.” Wade pulled out the white suit from the rack, carefully holding it in front of Logan's torso. “And, wouldn't you know it, he's going to that party. Pretty convenient, right? Almost like the plot demands we go there!”

Honestly, Logan was barely following what Wade was saying, but he felt he got the gist of things. “So we dress up, go to this party, and kill this bastard?”

“Bingo bango! Give this sexy man a prize, because he guessed right!” Wade put on his best game show host voice as he tossed the suit in Logan's direction, Logan catching the garment before it could hit him square in the face.

Logan couldn't resist the urge to roll his eyes. “Well how the hell are we gonna get in? It's not like we’re invited.” He looked over the suit presented to him. It was pretty nice, all things considered. The fabric was soft and expensive, Logan already mourning the fact it wouldn't be that way by the end of the night. He couldn't deny the part of him that wished they were buying these clothes under different circumstances.

“That's the best part!” Wade gave that signature grin once again, his focus already drifting over to another section of the store, towards its large array of overly priced dresses. “We aren't! So that means we get to go in my favourite way. The illegal way!”

“Right,” Logan chuckled, “you with all the grace of a semi truck.” His eyes drifted towards the dress Wade pressed up to his own chest. It was very… Wade. 

Red and black, similar to his signature suit, a fancy black lace woven with a vine pattern over the top, crumpling neatly at the bottom. The waist and neck was adjourned with roses made of a glistening red fabric, the upper half of the dress decorated with shimmering black gems. It was way too much, but that’s exactly what Wade was. 

“Hey, Earth to Logan!” Wade’s voice snapped Logan out of his stupor, bringing him back to reality. “Or would it be Logan to Earth? I dunno, this Opposite Day stuff is confusing, I pray for the writer's sanity.”

“The dress is nice.” He assumed Wade was asking him something about the dress while he spaced out, but he wouldn’t dare ask Wade to repeat whatever opposite nonsense he might’ve spouted. “You should get it.”

That was apparently the correct answer, Logan suppressing a smile as he saw Wade’s whole face light up. He eagerly placed the dress in a nearby shopping basket, throwing in Logan’s suit alongside it.

“Oh, can’t forget these either!” Wade was already on the move again, this time to a stand with various masks, the type you’d typically see worn at masquerade balls. It was something straight out of a movie, and Logan already knew what that meant.

“Y’know, this is giving some big Romeo and Juliet vibes, the 1968 film specifically, not the Shakespeare play.” Wade, as predicted, began to yap. “Or if you’re freaky enough, Fifty Shades Darker─”

“Nope.” No way was Logan going to let him finish that sentence, roughly grabbing Wade by the scruff of his neck to drag him towards the nearest cashier. He didn’t need Wade saying anything like that in public, they were already getting enough weird looks as is.

Luckily, they managed to pay for things and escape the store with less public humiliation than normal, Logan finally free from Wade’s very expensive shopping spree (and his crude jokes). At long last, they seemed to be nearing the end of their shopping trip. Logan honestly couldn’t feel more relieved, that was until he felt a strong tug on his wrist.

“Oh, I totally don’t want to eat there!” Wade giggled, the tip of his finger leading Logan’s gaze to a small bakery not too far from them. It seemed Wade was back on his Opposite Day bullshit based on that tone.

“For lunch?” Logan quirked a brow, looking over the baked goods displayed for passersbys to glance at. “They don’t even sell sandwiches, it’s just desserts.”

And yet Wade was still dragging him towards the sweet smelling bakery, Logan’s feet lacking the same reluctance his voice displayed. He wasn’t a huge fan of surgery desserts, especially not for lunch, but he supposes if Wade wanted to…

“I really don’t like the look of that!” Wade’s voice managed to drag Logan from his inner thoughts. “It’s so gooey and surgery and colourful─”

Logan glanced over at the supposedly horrible looking dish Wade was describing. What met his gaze was a rainbow, sprinkle covered donut. Honestly, it looked like a unicorn had vomited all over it with all the shit they’d placed on top of it. He hated everything about it. But if that’s what Wade wanted…

“Alright, fine.” Logan let out an exasperated sigh, already finding himself digging through his pockets for his wallet. He doubted he’d have anything left in his account by the end of the day.

“What about you?”

“Huh?” Logan paused, his card barely an inch from the card reader. What about him?

“Don’t you want anything, Logan?” Wade spoke with an odd tone in his voice, one that almost sounded concerned. Logan would’ve just written it off if it weren’t for one thing. The fact he’d called him by his name. Not any of his usual stupid nicknames, just Logan.

“Nah, I’m not hungry.” Was it a lie? Maybe. Logan didn’t care either way. He wasn’t exactly in the mood for lunch right now after their sudden change of plans.

"You’ve gotta have something!” Wade nonetheless insisted, stepping between Logan and the front desk as he pulled his own credit card out. Without even consulting Logan, he pointed to one of the pasties on display. “One of those as well please.”

Logan wanted to protest, his hackles rising just at the mere thought of Wade choosing something for him without even considering his opinion, but his rage settled when he caught sight of what Wade had ordered him. It was fairly simple, just a square cut chocolate brownie. No extra sauces or icing, no sprinkles. Just a plain old brownie, a stark contrast from the monstrosity of a donut Wade was already stuffing into his mouth. 

“Oh. Uh. Thanks.” Logan carefully took the brownie from Wade’s palm, staring at the thing, assessing it for anything out of place, almost as if searching for a reason not to eat it. 

“Aww c’mon, Wolvie! I totally poisoned the thing you’re currently staring at like it doesn’t owe you five bucks!” Wade cooed, clearly trying to reassure Logan, even if it is in his weird backwards speech. Logan actually found himself indulging in the idea of it potentially being poisoned, if just for a moment; but considering it was Wade saying this, he knew it was more than likely a lie. Even if it was the truth, his own bones had a higher chance of poisoning him than some pastry.

Despite his reluctance, Logan took a bite of the dessert. It was a small bite, but enough for him to catch the taste of chocolate on his tongue. It was surprisingly nice, not his usual go to lunch, but he also didn’t hate it. It was nice.

“So?” Wade tilted his head, watching Logan’s expression carefully as they finally made their way towards the mall’s exit, not even looking away to watch where he was going. Logan had to practically drag him out the way of other shoppers passing through.

“It’s alright.” Logan took another small bite of the pastry, trying his hardest to act nonchalant at his newly discovered love for baked goods. It took every ounce of willpower within him not to stuff his face like Wade had. 

“In Wolverine language that means you haaaate it, right?” Wade teased, though clearly seeming pleased with himself for his choice. Logan had to resist rolling his eyes for what might’ve already been the third time since they’d entered the mall.

“Yeah, I hate it.” Logan huffed, just happy to finally get this shopping trip done with. He knew it was only one thing which would only make this long and exhausting day even more long and exhausting. He was not looking forward to it. Not at all.

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All the stress and frustration Logan felt from the mall trip alone finally left him as he entered their apartment. The stares they were both getting at the mall weren’t pleasant, and they weren’t exactly getting better with how Wade was acting. This Opposite Day shit was getting hard to deal with, embarrassing almost with how childish it was. He already hated the feeling of eyes watching his every move, but Wade was making it all that worse with this stupid holiday of his, forcing him to decipher every little thing he said. It was only more confusing when he’d switch from speaking normally to suddenly saying the opposite of what he means, Logan was struggling to keep track of it all.

It didn't stop upon leaving the mall. In fact, as soon as they left, it got much worse. Maybe Wade had dialled it back when he spilled about their impromptu job tonight, but now it felt he'd finally stopped trying to speak normally all together. Was he doing this on purpose? He knew Wade liked to tease and act like a brat, but this was a whole different level of dedication. His mind couldn’t help but wander to this possibility. It wasn't out of the question for someone like Wade to try and fuck with him just to provoke a reaction, he did it all the time. Why the hell wouldn't he now?

It's not impossible.

He tried to brush it off as paranoia, unpacking his neatly folded suit from its shopping bag, preparing to try the garment on in preparation for tonight. It was nice enough, though, white likely wasn't the most practical colour for a job like this. He was about to go put it on, before a certain someone made their presence known from behind him, surprising Logan with a sudden hug. Unfortunately, it seemed like Wade was far from done getting on his last nerve.

“I hate you so much, Logie!”, Wade would coo into Logan’s ear, the sickly sweet tone not at all fitting the harsh words that fell from his lips, "this is going to be the worst night ever!." Wade's words ran cold down Logan’s spine, the whiplash enough to freeze his blood.

Wade can't possibly be serious, right? Surely this is all part of this little Opposite Day shtick, but the dread that filled him hearing those words, considering they might be true, caused his heart to sink to the deepest pit of hell.

There was no way the opposite of that could be true. Wade? Loving him? No way. It was an improbability. There was no way Wade could love him. Yeah, he made the odd comment, well actually several comments about how good he looked, but that didn't mean jack. Love and lust were two different things. Wade didn't love him, he just found him physically attractive, just like everyone else he'd ever been with. This was the norm, he should expect this by now.

“Hey, Peanut?”

Wade's concerned voice snapped Logan from his downward spiral, glancing up towards the man who supposedly loathed him.

“I'm fine.” Logan snapped, tearing himself from Wade’s arms. He already missed the warmth of his body, storming off towards the bathroom with his suit clutched between white knuckles. Wade followed, right on his heels. 

“Then what was with the whole ‘staring contest with the floor’ thing, huh?” Wade spoke more firmly. “I doubt you were doing that just for the fun of it.”

“I just─ spaced out.” Logan huffed, hoping Wade would simply drop the topic before he did something he knew he'd regret. Even if Wade truly did hate him, he didn't want to snap at him for it. Honestly, he'd hate him too, hell, he already does.

“I’m just going to try this on, make sure the measurements all fit or whatever.” Logan spilled the first excuse that came to his mind, just anything to get Wade to fuck off and leave him alone. He doubted it would do much, Wade was already following him like a lost puppy, but he just needed any excuse to get away, to hide.

“It shouldn’t!” Wade beamed, Logan not needing to see his expression to see the shit eating grin which no doubt sat on his face. He didn’t want to see it, didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing his reaction, shutting the bathroom door as soon as he slipped inside. Logan found himself wincing at the sound, the noise resonating throughout the apartment, no doubt alerting everyone within a five mile radius to whatever this mess was between them.

Logan looked down at the now rumpled suit in his grip, his rage reigniting, reminding him of the job Wade had all but forced him to partake in. Why the hell did he want him there anyway? And, more importantly, why the fuck hadn't he told him about it until today? Maybe Wade was doing this on purpose, throwing him out of his comfort zone so he could revel in his pain. Suddenly, the nice suit Logan had picked up looked way less appealing to him. In fact, he was almost tempted to tear the thing up right now, then he wouldn't have to go to this stupid party.

Then he thought about Wade.

Fuck, he couldn't just leave him to do this alone. He might hate his fucking guts right now, but he still didn't want him to get his shit rocked by whoever this target of theirs was. It's not like he didn't trust Wade to come home in one piece, actually scratch that, he didn't trust him at all.

Taking a deep breath, Logan caved. He took the suit from his hands, carefully undressing so he can finally try the thing on. Admittedly, the white looked good on him. It almost reminded him of something, especially the addition of a black bow tie curtsy of Wade, but he brushed off that feeling of Deja Vu. One aspect of the suit Logan didn't remember, however, was the red rose sitting in his pocket. It wasn't there when he'd picked it out, nor did he seen any fake roses similar to this in the store. Had Wade done this? A knock on the door interrupted his train of thought.

"Hey, Peanut, you done? I totally don't want to see how ugly that suit looks on you." Wade once again spoke in a sickly sweet voice. Clearly exaggerated, but not at all softening the blows those words did to Logan’s heart. It took everything in him not to stab his claws right through the bathroom door and, hopefully, through Wade’s thick skull.

"Yeah, I'm done." Logan gritted out a response, practically dragging his heels as he finally exited. He expected Wade to call him every name under the sun, to look at him with pure disgust. However, instead he was met with one of awe.

"Holy shit, Peanut, you look─". Wade paused for a moment, no doubt debating between a plethora of different ways to call him ugly or dumb. But then his next words surprised him. "You look beautiful."

The words practically took Logan out, making his jaw go slack and his heart leap right out of his chest. Wade didn't really mean that did he? This was just part of his Opposite Day bullshit. There wasn't any universe out there where it was possible for Wade Wilson to think he's beautiful.

"Whatever." Logan huffed, pushing his way past Wade, knocking his shoulder as he slipped by. "Bathroom's free. Go get dressed." Logan didn't let his gaze linger on the look on Wade’s face. It wasn't real. That disappointment on his face? It was all part of his little act.

Logan waited outside for Wade, carefully watching the bathroom door for him. He could hear some shuffling from inside, the crumpling of fabric, as well as some muttering. Logan didn't care enough to listen to whatever incoherent ramblings were happening behind that door. He only looked up upon seeing the door finally creak open.

Logan couldn't deny, Wade looked good. He looked more than good in fact, he looked down right delectable. The way the fabric hugged his frame, how the poofy skirt swayed with every step, and the lace on his arms and legs? Logan almost forgot he was supposed to be mad at Wade with how much he was drooling over him right now. He was absolutely stunning, the red and black complementing each other perfectly, the dress the perfectly extravagant to match Wade’s personality.

"Hey, look, we're matching!" Wade’s voice broke the ever growing silence between them both. Logan only realised now how long he'd gone without saying a word. He glanced down to see what Wade was talking about, now noting the array of fake roses adjourning both the waist and neck of his dress. It looked awfully similar to the rose planted in his own pocket.

"Did you do this?" Logan pointed to his own rose with an accusatory tone, hating the way he saw Wade squirm under his gaze.

"I thought it was nice so, I got it!" Wade answered sheepishly, practically rushing through his words. "Plus, we match! Now all we gotta do is change our social media profiles to match each other. You do have social media, right? Or a phone at least?" Logan could only roll his eyes.

"It looks nice." Logan finally answered, trying not to betray the fact he thought it was more than just nice. They had a job to do, and Logan wanted it done quick. He couldn't be oggling Wade the whole time, even if he did look amazing in that dress.

"When's this party anyway?" Logan riffled through the remaining items in their shopping bag, retrieving the masks Wade had chosen for them to wear. He assumed his was the white one, similarly sporting black accents, with a tad of red here and there. The other was black and red, the diamond shapes on the eyes reminding him heavily of Wade’s Deadpool mask. He assumed that's why he chose this, alongside the fact it was littered with large black feathers and gems. "And how are we getting there?"

Wade only smiled, Logan resisting the way it made his inners melt, replying in that all too familiar sickly sweet voice. "Let's just say… I don't know a guy… Oh, and the party's at 9pm."

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Turns out the guy Wade "totally didn't know" was Dopinder. He seemed pretty impressed with their costumes, as well as the many ways Wade had managed to hide weapons on and inside his costume. Half of those ways Logan didn't dare recount for his own sanity.

Wade continued his little charades up even in front of Dopinder, telling him how much he "hated" this job and how much he "wished he could just stay home". Right now, staying home was all Logan could think of. That's all he had planned until this idiot sprung this job onto him, and it's all he wanted to do. The party itself was at this big fancy building, definitely the kind that reeked of evil. It was decorated out the wazoo, way too flashy for Logan's standards. Maybe perfect for someone like Wade, but Logan was already regretting his life decisions.

"Have fun you two!" Dopinder called out cheerily as the two began exiting the car, Wade bolting out in search for the entrance. Logan was left scrambling behind him, checking to ensure Wade didn't leave anything important in the backseat like he always did. As expected, Logan found what was probably the most important thing Wade could have lost. The tickets to the damn party. This had to be the hundredth time Wade had misplaced something here, he could never just stop for five minutes to make sure they had everything they needed.

Waving Dopinder off, Logan turned to the massive skyscraper of a building. Just looking up at it made his eyes hurt, the top of the wretched thing disappearing into dark smokey clouds. Logan had a bad feeling rain was on the horizon. Great. Just what he needed to make a bad night even worse.

Following after Wade through the ever growing crowd, another thing Logan already knew he was going to hate, he made his way to what he assumed to be the entrance of the building. If the big burly guards outside checking people's tickets said anything, this was it. It luckily wasn't very hard to find Wade, what with his bright red dress and the way he could barely stand still as he waited. It was at least reassuring to Logan that he could easily find Wade among the crowd of stuck up nobodies.

"You got the tickets?" Logan asked, already knowing damn well what the answer would be. He honestly wasn't sure how Wade could get anything done with how clumsy he seemed to be. If it weren't for Logan checking the backseat himself, they would've already failed this mission before stepping through the front door.

While Logan knew he could hand over the tickets like a normal person, instead he kept them firmly tucked within his palm. He wanted to watch Wade squirm, he deserved it for this Opposite Day bullshit.

"Oh, uh…" Logan revelled in the moment as he watched Wade check every pocket, hidden compartment and piece of clothing he could find in a panic. Wade had practically stuffed something into every nook and cranny he could find, and yet he didn't have the one thing they needed to get in. With a smug grin, Logan produced the tickets from his own pocket, waving them in Wade's face in triumph.

"Unlike somebody, I actually made sure we were prepared for this shit." Logan couldn't help himself from making the jab at Wade, he was already pissed off and tired of just about everything he'd had to deal with today. Shoving the tickets into Wade's hands, the two began to slowly make their way to the entrance, donning their masks as they did.

If there was something positive Logan could focus on, it was the fact the queue was moving fast. The guards really weren't taking much time at all to check guests tickets, just a brief glance and you're in. It made their chances of getting in much better, not that he expected them to be turned away. Even if they were, Logan had a little thing called persuasion between his two knuckles.

"This is going to be so terrible!" Wade suddenly piped up in a not so quiet whisper. "I have never wanted to do something like this with you!" At this rate, Logan was just ignoring the comments. If Wade was using this as a round-a-bout way of saying he hated him, fine. If he wasn't? Well… there was no way that was the case. Why would Wade ever want to do something like this with him? Unless it was for some kind of joke or some extravagant party idea, Logan couldn't think of a single reason for why Wade would want to do something like this together.

Moving through the queue, eventually they made it to the entrance. Logan watched quietly as Wade happily handed their tickets over to a nearby guard, all smiles and waves like he was royalty. Logan tuned it all out. Well, he tried to at least. He couldn't help focussing on the way Wade talked to the guard so sweetly, how he could so easily sway him with just a few nice words. Jealously bubbled within Logan, an unmistakable feeling among the rage. He watched them as they laughed and smiled, even caught the moment Wade's hand found it's place on the guard's shoulder. Logan's hand shot out before his brain even caught up to what he was doing, practically dragging Wade away mid-conversation by the small of his waist. He ignored Wade's protests, pulling him further inside until they reached the heart of the party.

Finally, they were inside. As Logan had suspected, the place was packed, filled to the brim with people already. It was only going to fill even more considering all the people still entering, Logan's own personal hell. There were so many sights, smells and noises. People chatting, music playing, food and alcohol being distributed among guests. It was a sensory overload orgy. Logan was more than ready to bolt to the nearest exit to escape the madness, but was halted by a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey pookie bear? What the hell was that back there?" Wade's voice broke through the chaos. "I mean, I've heard wolverines are territorial, but that? That was something else." Logan didn't care if Wade was or wasn't dropping this Opposite Day shit right now and speaking to him like a normal person. They had a job to do, and he didn't need Wade sucking up to any of the rich pricks here. Maybe he was being a little territorial over Wade, but that was for him and him alone to know.

"Let's just find this asshole and get out." Logan replied gruffly, tugging his hand away from Wade's waist as if it's burnt him. Part of him already missed how snugly his large hand fitted around his waist, but he didn't have time to ponder on it. Not only did they have a job to do, but he was still mad at Wade. Logan wasn't going to bend just because Wade looked pretty and he cared about him, because he didn't, no way. "You got a description of 'em?"

"Well… they totally don't─"

"Without speaking in reverse, please." Logan already knew what Wade was about to do and he wasn't having it. He didn't want to spend another minute here just because Wade wanted to play his bullshit games. No. They were doing this now, and they were doing this his way.

"Okay, okay!" Wade put his hands up in a placating manner. "Jeez, just trying to have a little fun here."

"Well don't!" Logan snapped. "We don't got time for this shit. Give me the description now so we can get this over with." He didn't mean to speak so harshly, but he was on his last nerve at this point. It was taking all his willpower to reign in the angry Wolverine prowling within.

"Well for starters, he's got no sense of style at all, some real basic bitch. Your typical generic, no name villain." As usual, Wade's hands seemed to move just as much as his mouth did, maybe even more so. "Short, blonde hair, scar over his eye, tall as hell, probably built like a dorito. The typical edgelord ceo type you read about in those Y/N fanfictions." Logan had no clue what any of that meant, but it was something.

"Okay. And where's a guy like that gonna be in this place?" Logan swept his gaze over the whole room. Nobody there matched the description Wade gave. Damn it, they'd probably have to weed them out.

"Dunno, Peanut, but I am so not dying to check out the refreshments!" Wade was already leaving Logan’s side, squeezing through crowds of people to reach the long table full of food and drink. Although Logan knew he wouldn't mind a drink or three, he knew damn well this wasn't what they were here for.

"Guess it's all up to me then, huh?" Logan growled under his breath, scouring the room for anyone who fit the bill. His first issue arose when he noticed just how god damn similar all these people looked. They all fit the bill of generic rich asshole, the only difference seeming to be their equally bland outfits an tacky masks. This was going to be a long night. Logan took note of all the different things going on around him. There was a dance floor, refreshments and food, as well as a large dining area filled to the brim with people eating and chatting. The dining area also seemed to have what he could only describe to be a VIP area. It was much more closed off, one man in particular standing out to Logan. He was exactly how Wade described; blonde hair, tall, a long and jagged scar over his eye. The suit he wore was as basic as it could get, a simple black suit and tie, not even bothering to wear one of those stupid masquerade masks. Not only that, but he was completely surrounded by other patrons and, more importantly, guards. Logan counted at least seven, way more than average rich guy should need in his opinion.

This had to be their guy. It was so obvious.

Logan began to make his way towards the man, trying his hardest not to draw too much attention to himself. He could only imagine how much attention Wade was bringing to himself right now. He'd bet by now everyone at the party already knew his name and at least one random and overly personal detail about him. Parties were his scene, he could blend into them so easily it felt as if he were the host himself. The only issue with that, however, was the fact this was a stealth mission. They couldn't exactly be undercover if Wade was talking to everything with a pulse. Speaking of Wade, where the hell even was he? Logan glanced at the refreshments as he walked by, yet Wade was no where to be seen. Surely he couldn't have lost him that quickly? It didn't matter, he had a job to do. If Wade wanted to ignore that and leave him to go talk to other people like a normal person, then good for him. At least he wouldn't have to deal with his Opposite Day bullshit, and he was going to make the most of it while it lasted.

Logan was close enough to get a good look at him now, and it only made him all the more certain about this being their guy. This bastard just screamed "generic villain", as Wade had put it. Now how the hell was he supposed to deal with this guy? That was the real question here. As much as he wanted to walk up and claw the guy right in the heart, this party would quickly become a massacre, and they couldn't exactly afford a clean up crew. Plus, this was a stealth mission, or at least that's what Wade told him. Logan honestly wasn't sure he could trust anything Wade said today, but he either way knew making a scene would be a bad idea. As carefully as he could, Logan attempted to approach the VIP area. Maybe if he took a page out of Wade's book and acted like he should be there, maybe he'd simply get let in. Worst case scenario, he is turned away; best case scenario, he gets in. But before he could step a single foot inside, Logan felt a hand on his shoulder, roughly pulling him away. It took a lot of self restraint not to sock whoever grabbed him in the jaw, but upon turning around, Logan was met with a familiar red and black mask.

"Wade…" Logan hissed under his breath, fighting as hard as he could out of Wade's grasp. Unlucky for him, Wade was stronger than he looked.

"C'mon, Wolvie! A little birdy told me they're about to put on some sappy ball music for all the old fucks to dance to! We should for sure not join in." Logan felt his jaw snap from how hard he was clenching his teeth. He was so close to ending this nightmare, so close to getting the fuck out of here, and now Wade was dragging him out for what? To dance? For fucks sake, did Wade want to do this job or did he just want to annoy him? If Wade truly did hate him as much as Logan was starting to suspect, then maybe that was it. This was all just a god damn game to him, one where he got to poke and prod at Logan until he finally snapped.

Logan tried not to let the anger show on his face as he was pulled onto the dance floor, though his limbs remained stiff as Wade directed his body into a waltz alongside him. As much as Logan wanted to enjoy the moment, to fully take it in as he held Wade close to him and drink in his gleeful expression, it all just felt fake to him. He wanted this to be real, much more than he ever would all those months ago, but he couldn't shake the feeling that this was all a rouse. Nothing would change after this party, Wade would just drop the act as soon as they got home and the two of them would pretend this never happened. Then as soon as that act would end, a new one would start, where Wade would go back to pretending he liked him. Logan knew better now.

"I'm really glad you came here with me on such short notice, Peanut." Logan's spiralling was put to an abrupt stop as he heard Wade whisper that into his ear. He hadn't even noticed how close they were now, chest to chest as Wade rested his head on his shoulder. He had to remind himself this wasn't real, that he shouldn't be getting so sappy over what was simply an act. This was all just part of Wade's twisted game, and he wasn't playing anymore.

"Wade," Logan took a deep breath, trying to ignore Wade's warm breath on the shell of his ear, "we have a job to do." He pulled back slightly, ignoring the look on Wade's face as he did. It wasn't real, he shouldn't feel bad for what was clearly just part of the act. He had to focus. Pulling back, Logan caught sight of the guy he'd seen earlier. He watched carefully as their supposed target passed the dance floor, walking towards some stairs carefully tucked behind a decorative arch made from fake flowers. Perfect.

Logan fully pulled away from Wade now, ignoring his protests as he followed after the suspect. He stormed up the stairs, ducked from corridor to corridor, trying to catch up with the guy. Footsteps could be heard behind Logan, most likely Wade if he was to make a guess, but Logan pushed forward.

"Wolvie!" Wade’s voice came out in a very loud whisper. "Where are you going? We were having a moment there!" Logan had enough. In one swift motion, Logan turned, grabbing Wade as he shoved them into a nearby room.

"Shut the fuck up!" Logan hissed, the ugly putrid rage he'd left simmering finally bubbling up in a disgusting broth. "We have a fucking job to do and I don't want to be here for another single god damn second!" He slammed Wade to the wall, not caring who could hear them or how harshly he manhandled Wade. He could take it, he deserved it after all the shit he'd done. It was cathartic in a way, seeing Wade squirm against him, it caused a more predatory part of him reer its head in interest. Logan had to resist the urge to bite down into his jugular, to mark him and put him in his place like he deserved. Wade gave him a look he couldn't entirely describe. It wasn't fear, it wasn't guilt, instead between this odd state of worry and admiration. Whatever the hell it was, it was only making Logan even more restless.

"Don't fucking look at me like that!" Logan snapped, pressing Wade even harder into the wall, squeezing Wade's neck until he heard him wheeze. Wade's body felt so warm against him, their bodies almost seeming to slot perfectly against one another. It was driving Logan insane being so close like this, unable to help himself from burying his face right into that neck he so yearned to paint red with hickeys. He revelled in the way Wade's breath hitched, in the way he squirmed against him, it was itching a scratch in the back of his brain he didn't know he had. At least now he didn't need to look at his stupid face anymore, nor hear him spout anymore Opposite Day bullshit. It was finally quiet. If Logan knew this was all it would take to get him to shut up, maybe he would've done this way sooner.

"So that's all it takes, huh?" Logan purred into Wade's neck, a part of him hating just how much he was enjoying this. This wasn't the time to go soft. "You satisfied now, your highness? Or do I need to remind you why the hell we are here?"

"I could use with a little reminding." Wade whispered lowly, Logan shivering under the warmth of that sultry voice. It was almost enough to get him to forget about this whole mission, but he didn't want to spend another second in this overcrowded hellhole, no matter how comfortable it felt to hold Wade like this. The iron grip Logan had on Wade's neck loosened, instead running his fingers right across the neckline of his dress, against the silky fabric of those fake roses. It was a nice dress, very nice, though a part of him couldn't help thinking Wade would look even better without.

"How's this?" Pressing himself even more harshly against Wade, practically squishing him against the wall, Logan indulged in that pesky Wolverine's urges. He ran his tongue over Wade's Adam's apple, feeling his coarse skin beneath his taste buds. The sour taste of perfume hit his senses, but he resisted the urge to gag on the strong scent in favour of marking his prey, pressing a rather rough nip to Wade's collarbone. The tiny moan Wade let out was everything to him, he could practically listen to that sound all day. Logan pressed another, then another bite upon Wade's skin, watching each one as it gradually healed seconds after he made each mark. The sight practically had him growling, wishing he could mark him permanently, just to show everyone who he belonged to. Nobody would dare take him away if he had anything to say about it.

Logan was more than ready to lose himself in the moment, pulling away from Wade's neck to finally meet his gaze properly. As soon as he saw that glittery mask on his face, however, the memories of Wade's torment filled his brain once more. That beautifully flushed expression of Wade's wasn't enough to numb the pain in Logan's heart, knowing how fake this was, that this was all still just a game to Wade, and Logan was playing right into his palm. Enough, he'd played his part in distracting Wade well enough, now he had a job to do.

"Stay." Logan growled, only now realising just how short of breath he was just from being this close to Wade. It was strange, even after all Wade had done, he couldn't help feeling something towards him. Was it love? Maybe, but he'd never admit it. He especially didn't want to admit it knowing how Wade truly felt about him, he'd has enough heartbreak in his life already. Gently lowering Wade to the floor in his dazed, love-struck state, Logan couldn't help giving him one last look. The mask obscured his face quite a bit, but Logan could still see just how blown-out Wade's eyes were. He could swear he saw the brown orbs glisten under the light, as if he were in some cheesy love story. It took every bit of strength to turn his back on the recovering Wade.

Having finally put Wade in his place, Logan had nothing more to worry about. He slipped out the empty room, quickly shutting the door on Wade before he dared follow. There was too much on the line now for him to let Wade mess this up. Though, maybe he was making a bigger deal out of this than he should be. It was more about not giving into Wade's bullshit than it was Logan completing this mission, his ego and pride ruling his every decision. Giving in meant letting Wade manipulate him, to toy with his emotions like they meant nothing to him. He'd had enough.

The hall was quiet as he exited the office, perfect for him to follow the trail leading to their precious target. Sniffing the air, Logan could pick up on the scent of a cheap smelling perfume. He followed it down the hall, it leading Logan down the same exact route he'd watched their target flee. Eventually Logan found himself standing before two large double doors, his ears picking up on several voices from within the room. Looked like this guy wasn't alone. It appeared that he was having some kind of meeting, Logan didn't care to eaves drop on the details, but he determined there was maybe around seven people inside. This would complicate things. While Logan simply wanted to kill this guy and get out, he had a bad feeling he'd be getting more blood on his hands than originally planned. Logan slowly crept closer to the office door, listening carefully for any signs of footsteps. He gently pressed his hand to the door, watching as it nudged ever so slightly ajar, catching the smallest glimpse of those inside.

"Hey, Peanut?" Logan practically jumped out of his skin, his hand pressing into the door much harder than he'd intended and causing it to swing open. He hadn't heard Wade coming up behind him, nor had he expected him to show up after their little one on one in that empty room. It seemed like Wade was far from done ruining their chances of finishing this job. "Oh, I see we have an audience!" If Logan accidentally opening the door didn't blow their cover, Wade's loud, not whispered voice definitely did. Not only had the head of their target now turned to acknowledge their presence, but those other six people Logan had sniffed out had also turned their gaze on them.

"Damn it. Wade!" Logan supposed there was nothing to lose now. Pushing past Wade, Logan pounced right into action. With claws and teeth barred, Logan did what he did best, killed. He didn't dare take a moment to consider what he was doing as he pulverised everyone within his path, butchering many before they could reach for a weapon to defend themselves. It was almost therapeutic letting loose like this, letting the Wolverine caged within him go on a rampage. Simultaneously, it made him sick. He tried to ignore that sickly feeling as he continued on his crusade, not stopping until everyone within that damn room was dead. Well, all except one.

"Holy moly, kitten whiskers." Logan couldn't even look at Wade. He felt their blood between his fingers, under his nails. It stunk of death, their target well beyond dead. He was practically unrecognisable now, just another body in the heap of blood and limbs Logan's rage had left behind. The pounding of his own heartbeat made it almost impossible to hear Wade, barely able to make out the few words that fell from his lips. "Logan, hey, you okay?"

There was Wade's hand again, pressed so softly against his shoulder. A stronger Logan, no, a better Logan would soften under that touch. But not this Logan, no. This Logan had had enough.

"This is all your fucking fault!" Logan turned so swiftly he almost lose his balance. "You and your stupid Opposite Day bullshit you insisted on doing for what reason? To annoy me? To drill into my brain just how much you hate me?!" The hurt look on Wade's face almost made Logan pause, almost. "Well, fine, you win! I'm fucking done!"

"Logan…" Wade almost sounded like he was on the verge of tears, looked like it too, even with that stupid mask on his face, but Logan’s mind was set. He pushed past Wade, shoved him down as hard as he could muster before storming out of the building, tossing that stupid mask Wade had got him to the floor. It was predictably uncomfortable to move so much in a blood soaked suit, but Logan didn't care. He needed to get out of here, now.

❀ °˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖° ❀

It wasn't too hard to find a fire exit. There was no way he was walking out the front door like this, not without blowing their cover even more than they already had. The night air was cool and humid, the lingering smell of rain carrying on the wind. After all that'd happened today, rain felt like the least of Logan's problems. Right now, his biggest problem was figuring out what to do now. Logan didn't know where the hell he was or how to find his way home. He wasn't sure if going home was even the right call after all that'd happened.

Even as he prowled the dark streets, all Logan could think of was Wade, of that moment they shared in that empty office. He could still feel the racing of his own heart just thinking about how close and warm Wade felt, how his skin had felt under his tongue. It was perfect, and maybe would've been even more if they actually enjoyed the party as Wade had seemingly planned. After all Wade had said, however, he doubted Wade wanted this for the same reason as him. This was all probably some kind of humiliation ritual for Wade, a way to get him wrapped around his fingers before dropping him into the cold pit of reality. Wade hates him, he'd made that clear enough with all the times he'd said it right to his face. There was no reality where Wade Wilson could ever love him. As much as he wanted to believe Wade meant the opposite, he knew fully well that nobody could love a guy like him.

After all he'd done, Logan felt lucky to be tolerated. It was a miracle in itself that Wade had kept him around for this long. Even now he still considered home to be with Wade. Whether it be in that shitty little apartment or some dingy motel, he didn't care where they went or for what reason, Wade simply being there made him feel… wanted. It only made him feel worse thinking about everything Wade had said. Logan didn't want to believe Wade hated him, but if he truly didn't hate him, then that only left one explanation. Wade… loves him? Him? There was no way that was possible, it was just wishful thinking on his behalf. Logan couldn't even love himself, so why the hell would anyone else?

A loud and frustrated groan left Logan. Just thinking about this shit was giving him a headache. He just needs to find somewhere to go, anywhere he wouldn't have to deal with Wade. The best he could do was a nearby alley, solitary enough for him to hide away from the world, and more importantly from Wade. It didn't seem like Wade had followed him out here. In fact, the streets were strangely quiet. Eerie as it was, it was nice to soak in the silence, Logan finally having a moment of calm to himself. While it didn't quell his racing thoughts, it did help with the overstimulation he'd been dealing with all night. There were no more crowds, no more bright lights, nor the gag inducing smell of perfume. But that also meant no more Wade. Logan wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. He assumed it was good considering the torture Wade had been putting him through, though part of him couldn't help yearning for him still. It reminded him of his infatuation with Jean. No matter how much she walked over him, he'd always come crawling back. Well, almost always.

If there was one thing different between the two, it was that. He turned his back on Jean the one time she needed him, the one time they all needed him; and yet when Wade had asked him to stay all those months ago, he had. Even now he wanted to go back, and he didn't know why. What was so special about Wade that kept him coming back?

"Logan? Pookie bear? Kitten whiskers?" An all too familiar voice broke through the silence. A voice he felt conflictingly relieved and horrified to hear. So Wade had followed him, huh? Logan had to ask him how the hell he moved so quietly, this seemed to be a running trend tonight. Shifting back into the dark alley, Logan tried his best to stay quiet, even if another part wanted to call out in response.

"Logan, please!" The begging was getting to Logan. Wade sounded so damn desperate, and he could've sworn that was a tear he saw glistening on Wade's cheek. Fuck it. There was no way he could watch this shit any longer. While he wanted to stay mad at Wade and leave him to keep stumbling around like an idiot, he couldn't stand seeing Wade like this.

Hesitantly, Logan stepped out from his hiding place, his gaze quickly locking with Wade's. He couldn't muster up a single word, not after everything he'd already screamed in Wade's face. Wade already looked like he was on the verge of breaking, he didn't want to be the guy who pushed him over the edge, even if he was still somewhat frustrated with him. Wade appeared to soften at the sight of Logan, though Logan could still sense a slight tension in the air, Wade somewhat hesitant as he stepped forth.

"Logan?" Wade spoke lowly, like a child that had been scolded, the tone only making Logan’s heart tighten evermore. Logan didn't dare move as Wade approached him, as if he were dealing with a skittish animal. He supposed he was in a way.

"Wade─"

"No," Wade interrupted, tearing his glittery mask from his face, "it's my turn to talk now." It was clear Wade had been crying. No amount of healing factor could hide the tear streaks on his cheeks, even if the red sore skin had healed over. It made Logan’s heart tighten once more.

"Logan, do you…" Wade wasn't even calling him his silly nicknames any more. Maybe it was more evidence that the facade was finally being dropped, but Logan suspected there was more to this that he wasn't aware of. "Do you really think I hate you?"

The words caught him off-guard. It felt like the most obvious answer in the world with how Wade had been acting. Of course, Wade was saying all those things because it's "Opposite Day", but that was just a stupid excuse to say what was on his mind. That had to be it. But before Logan could reply, Wade placed a single finger on his lips. "No, no. Shhh. It's my turn still."

Logan resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Did Wade not even realise what he'd been saying all day? He was the one who'd said he'd hated him. Logan was tempted to walk away again, not ready to hear the half-assed excuse he had cooking up, but his feet felt as if they were planted into the floor. He didn't know why, it was very clear this Opposite Day bullshit was just an excuse for Wade to spill his honest feelings, and yet…

"I don't hate you, Logan. I could never hate you." Those words cut straight through Logan’s thoughts, through every bit of negativity brewing in there. Logan almost thought he was hallucinating just listening to Wade speak. "And before you ask, no, I'm not speaking in reverse. Opposite Day ended like thirty minutes ago, so happy not Opposite Day."

An awkward laugh left Wade’s lips, it not lasting very long, clearly forced in an attempt to bring some semblance of normality to their conversation. Logan still couldn't bring himself to respond. Part of him was still worried this was some kind of joke, part of Wade's little game, but it was clear from how Wade held himself that he was serious.

"Actually, if I'm being honest right now. I─" Wade's hands found their way onto Logan’s chest, straighting out the creases in his bloodied suit, as if that'd make it magically clean. Part of him knew Wade just needed something to fidget with, it was a nervous habit he'd noticed Wade had. He couldn't help gently placing his own hands over Wade's.

"Go on," Logan murmured, "I'm listening." He gently ran his thumbs against Wade’s scarred skin, feeling them tremble in his grasp. Just feeling how nervous Wade was made his own hackles rise, the tension between them thick enough to suffocate them. It was a tension different to that felt in the office, much less heated, yet still irresistibly sweet. Wade took a deep breath, gripping Logan’s hands in his own as the truth was finally spilt.

"I love you." The words spilt clumsily from Wade’s lips, but Logan knew he meant it. This wasn't just some reverse psychology shit, this was real. "And I've been using this Opposite Day stuff to tell you, but not really, and it's super dumb, I know, but I saw my opportunity, and I couldn't see a better way because just telling you is somehow hard as hell, and that's not an innuendo─"

Logan cut off Wade’s rambling in an instance, pressing his lips harshly against his. God, they were both fucking idiots, weren't they? Wade really didn't hate him, that much was clear just in the way he kissed him. It was passionate, hands incapable of staying away as they gripped each other tightly, as if they both feared the other would pull away. Logan could taste Wade's lip stick, a sweet artificial strawberry flavour filling his senses. It wasn't nearly as delicious as Wade himself.

They very reluctantly parted, lips swollen and breathing heavy. Logan was almost tempted to lean in again before he stopped himself, instead compromising by resting his forehead against Wade's. Just watching Wade catch his breath was enough for Logan. It was everything and more than he wanted.

"I assume that means you love me too?" The hesitance in Wade's tone made Logan’s chest ache.

"Of course I fucking do, dumbass. Why else would I deal with all your bullshit?" If Wade was being honest, Logan supposed he'd be honest too. "Hell, I ran with your stupid Opposite Day thing thinking it was all just some sick joke to you. I'm crazy enough for that alone."

"Wait, you thought I actually─" Wade's expression shifted, finally seeming to see realise weight his words had put on Logan. Fake or not, they'd hurt him. "Logie, noooo…"

"Yeah, I know how stupid that sounds─"

"No, I get it. Looking back on it all now, I did literally say I hated you." Wade sighed deeply, running a hand over his flushed face. "Major oversight on my end. Sorry, Wolvie."

"It's fine." Logan found his own hands wandering, running carefully over Wade's face, stroking right over where he'd seen those glistening tears. "I get it, really. Not like I'm any better admitting this shit."

Laughter filled the air, not just from Wade this time, but from Logan too. The situation was almost comical, but Logan was more than happy to put the whole thing behind them. The night had already been soured enough by their miscommunication, now all Logan wanted to do was get out of here, maybe make it up to Wade with some takeaway and a movie binge. He felt they both deserved it after all this.

"Want to get out of here, Wade?"

"Hah, thought you'd never ask, Peanut!"