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Tsyeyk is in agony.
Painful, endless, all-consuming agony—though not painful in the physical sense. Or, maybe it is. Maybe this is the only way to describe the crushing sensation in his chest that feels as though it is going to push him straight into the ground, into Eywa’s waiting hands if he lets go for even a moment.
If he lets go of his love.
If he lets go of his Tsu’tey.
He clings tighter to the still body of his mate, wailing and rocking and ignoring the attempts of consolation from Tom’suli and his sister, mind unable to cope with the loss of his father and his mate on the same day.
Tsyeyk cannot get the image out of his mind, of Tom’suli’s blade piercing into his Tsu’tey’s stomach. Tsu’tey had looked so scared. Tsyeyk was so scared.
And now his love is gone.
His love is gone, and he does not know how he can ever go on without him.
His love is gone, and he cannot imagine standing up and walking away from his dead body, his dead body that is poisoned, riddled with the demon metal, blood still seeping from the holes—almost mocking Tsyeyk, as if saying see? Your love is gone, but we can still make him bleed.
His love is gone, and he does not know what will happen next.
The only thing that Tsyeyk te Tskaha Eytukan’itan knows is that his love is gone. Tsu’tey’s eyes will never open again. They will not grow old together, they will not have children together, they will not rule the clan together. Tsu’tey will never grow wrinkles or watch Tsyeyk be named Olo’eyktan, for that is Tom’suli’s duty now.
Tsu’tey will never see the eclipse or have the sound of his voice heard again.
Tsyeyk will never wake up to Tsu’tey by his side again.
Tsu’tey will never get to meet the baby which grows in Tsyeyk’s womb.
Tsyeyk vividly remembers the night he’d told Tsu’tey he was with child. They had laid together, limbs tangled and laughing, bringing up possible names, whether they thought the baby will be a boy or girl, and everything that they will teach the child. In the end, they had decided on two names for certain.
Zo’halu if it were a girl.
And if it were a boy?
Neteyam.
But his love is gone, gone forever.