Chapter Text
September 2nd AC 199. It had been four years since they’d really met each other. One went to lead his family business, the other went to live a life at the circus. They kept in touch, made calls and random coffee meetings, but never solid time together. This didn’t bother the wealthy former pilot, he learned to keep his feelings in. Who would believe him? A newtype with the ability of an empath? To feel others’ emotions as if they were his own? He learned he needed to keep it to himself. No one needed to know he was different, special in a way they never wanted to know. But deep down he had an urge, a wanting, that could never be satisfied. He wanted the circus performer, but he could never tell if that man wanted him back. He would keep the friendship as long as he could. Better to be friends than reveal the truth and become strangers.
The circus was back on earth, and near where Quatre was staying at his mansion on the surface. He saw the commercial on the television, and he thought to call up Duo. It’s better if there is a friend, not as strange, he thought. It rang a few times and finally picked up, “Hey Q!” Duo said. The phone must have shown his number.
Quatre sat back in his executive chair. “Hey Duo.” He said with a slight sigh in his voice. “What are you doing tonight?”
A slight mumble, “nothing that I know of. What’s up?”
“Want to go to the circus?” Quatre said without hesitation. Duo laughed; he knew that Q had a thing for Trowa even after all this time but said nothing. It would be Quatre’s place to say something first. “I mean, if you’re not-“
“Oh no I’m free.” Duo stopped him. “I haven’t seen him in months! Why not?” Quatre smiled, it wouldn’t be as strange now. “What time?”
Quatre leaned forward onto his desk, “Show starts at 7, I’ll meet you there at 6:30 in front of the tent. My treat.” Duo cheered on the phone, allowing another small smile, “See you soon.” Duo said farewell and Quatre hung up. Any time he could, he wanted to see Trowa. It may be one way, but it’s better than no way. He smiled to himself and got up, ready to get changed from his business attire to attend the show.
A few hours later he appeared, seeing Duo waving like an excited idiot in front of the tent. Quatre laughed a little, he was always a child even all these years after the war. He jogged a little to catch up, dusting off his untucked light blue collar shirt and dark blue unbuttoned vest from the circus dust. Duo was still in his same black, he never changed. “Sorry for the wait.” Quatre said with a smile as they walked to the ticket booth.
Duo walked next to him, hands behind his head with a grin, “Nah you’re fine! I just got here myself! Parking was a bitch!” He stuck his tongue out. Quatre nodded and smiled, “like you would know. You did valet!” he joked.
“Perk of my position I suppose.” Quatre said with a grin. He paid for their ticket and in they went. Quatre had to concentrate, so many people were difficult for him sometimes. So many excited, filled with joy, couples in love. He had to keep them out, their feelings could not conquer his own. The only ones he couldn’t read were the pilots, maybe from their training? He had such a hard time. But he never wanted to intrude anyway so it was alright.
They chatted a bit, then the lights dimmed. His heart skipped a beat, he would see the performer again. Duo was snacking on his popcorn and sneaked a peek over to his friend. Quatre was looking in a daze at the stage. He smirked, this boy would never be over the star. Act after act passed, then it was time for the sibling duo and their trapeze act. Quatre could feel his cheeks flush, Duo took another bout of popcorn and chuckled to himself. The spotlights shined; there he was. He looked only a little older than he did before, but it was the same Trowa. “Woohoo! Go Trowa!” Duo yelled. It caught Quatre by surprise, in his love drunk daze. He looked at Duo cheering, then smiled and laughed, clapping and cheering too.
The act was pretty much the same as always. Some arial tricks, tight rope, catching Cathy and posing. The applause was roaring, Quatre could feel all their joy and excitement. But he just kept his eyes on one spot. They would be friends, nothing more. That’s all they could be. He clapped along with the crowd.
The show ended and the two decided to meet up. They exited and immediately went to the back of the tent. Trowa knew they would, he was already changed and waiting for them. This was almost tradition at this point. He had on his black T-shirt with his worn brown leather jacket, lighter jeans over his worker boots. With crossed arms he looked up to see Duo running over. “Trowa!” He yelled with a wave. Barely after Trowa got his arms down Duo came in with a giant hug. “It’s been forever man!”
“Hi Duo.” Trowa said with a small laugh. Quatre was walking up, fixing his rolled-up sleeves in a nervous reaction he hoped no one would notice. Duo let go of Trowa as Quatre came by, “Hey Quatre.” Trowa said with a nod.
Quatre smiled, “Hey Trowa. Great show, as always!” He tiled his head a bit with the remark.
Trowa nodded, Duo decided to keep it light, “you hungry? We had some popcorn, but I know I’m FAMISHED.”
“Well I haven’t eaten since before the show…” Trowa trailed off.
Quatre stayed silent, “Hey! Q! You know of a good place around here? You’re neck of the woods?” Duo asked.
The blonde one nodded, “Sure, there’s a nice place on Baltimore we can go to.” He started to walk off, “my treat.” He added. Duo cheered again, another reason he loved to hang out with Quatre. Trowa nodded and followed along; they had some small talk on the way.
Dinner was normal, Quatre again had to focus to keep the emotions out. The steak restaurant, why were there so many couples? Was it a holiday he didn’t know of? The feeling of love and passion welled within him, and he had to keep it in. They were friends, nothing more. He saw Duo devouring his steak without waiting. “Slow down!” he joked, “you aren’t even tasting your food!”
“I am, anishsogoof” he said with a stuffed mouth. With a swallow almost too large he gobbled it and coughed a bit at the end, “Man Q you need to take me out more!” he joked.
“I should.” Quatre replied.
Trowa nodded, “It’s nice.” He added. Quatre looked at him and smiled as well. “So, how is the Winner Corporation?” Trowa asked, cutting another piece of steak.
“Good.” Quatre picked at his own plate, “We have another colony up and running, and are starting repairs on another that ZE-“ he stopped. That ZERO took out, when he went insane. He stopped picking at his plate.
He had to fight his own feelings of wants and blame the feelings of everyone in the restaurant. Maybe this was a bad idea. “That ZERO took out.“ Trowa finished. Quatre looked up at him. “Well, it’s good that the colonies are back on their feet.” He took a bite of his food. Quatre nodded, he had lost his appetite.
Duo had another mouthful. “Oh comonQishnoyurfaul” he tried to finish. After another gulp, “it’s not your fault.”
“I know…” Quatre picked at his food again. Trowa looked at him with some concern, but Quatre couldn’t tell. He looked up again at Duo, “Thank you.” He said with a smile. He tried to avoid eye contact with Trowa. The emotions in and around him were just too much.
After dinner they wandered the streets of the town, with Duo in the middle the three walked down the street talking about the good old days. “And remember when Wufei finally confronted Sally?!” He joked, hands behind his head again. “I mean, a proposal has to be coming soon right?!”
Trowa and Quatre both laughed, he loved to hear a laugh from the performer. “I know. He’s changed a lot in the last couple of years.” Quatre had one hand on his mouth covering his chuckle, the other around his torso.
The other had his hands in his pockets, “I heard from Heero too, he’s still watching over Relena.”
Duo laughed, “When is THAT proposal coming?!” he joked out loud.
Quatre nodded with another chuckle. His proposal would never come, that’s for sure. “Who knows.” He looked over at Trowa, who was apparently looking at Quatre. He felt his cheeks flush again, and quickly looked away and changed the subject. “Duo, don’t you live on the colonies? Where are you staying?”
“Oh I was down here for work anyway.” He started to walk backwards, looking at Quatre with hands still behind his head, “I’m just staying at a hotel nearby.”
Quatre crosses his arms low, “Why not stay with me? I have more than enough space.”
“Right on Q!” Duo cheered, walking normally again with a hop in his step.
Quatre looked at Trowa too, “If you and Catherine want to stay as well you can.” He offered. Good to invite his adoptive sister too.
Trowa shook his head, “We’re fine, we have our trailer and have a show in the morning anyway.”
Quatre smiled but sighed inside. If only he could tell what these other pilots were feeling. They all stopped and looked up when they heard a rumble, the winds had picked up a bit too. “Looks like it’s gonna rain.” Duo said, finally putting his arms down.
“yeah…” Quatre said under his breath.
Trowa finally took his hands out of his pockets, “I should head back then.” He looked at Duo and Quatre. One still had excitement in his eyes, the other a sense of longing ending. “We should do this again.” He said with a small smile.
Quatre stalled a bit at first, “Yes, definitely.” He gave his smile again. Trowa could tell it was a fake one. Duo didn’t seem to notice.
He pat Trowa on the shoulder, then gave him a hug, “Hey if you finish up early head to Q’s! We’ll have some drinks!”
Quatre nodded, Trowa gave a quick pat back, “I’ll think about it.” He said with a nod. He walked up to Quatre, who offered a handshake instead of a hug. “Until next time then.”
“Yeah…” Quatre said, then he grabbed Trowa’s hand firm and shook with a smile, “until next time!” With that they went their separate ways.
Duo walked off with Quatre to his hotel, it was in the same direction to Quatre’s house, and leaned into his friend. “You know, you keep missing your chance.”
“What?!” Quatre put his hands up almost defensively.
“You’re chance! Really now I don’t need to be a newtype to see you like him.” Duo put his hands in his pockets with a sigh.
“Duo!” Quatre took a few steps to get in front of his friend, putting his hands on his shoulders. “How long have you known!?”
The braided young man laughed, “since at least the war with Trowa, and the last couple of years with your abilities! You just know how people feel too easily Q!” Quatre had a look of almost defeat in his eyes and he tilted his head down, “hey come on I hang out with you the most out of all of us I bet no one else knows.”
“I bet Trowa and Heero know…” Quatre muttered under his breath.
He was surprised when Duo gave him a hug. “Oh come on Q, you never seem to read us. You don’t bother us, we don’t bother you.” Quatre was hesitant but hugged Duo in return.
He closed his eyes and gripped a little tighter, “thank you.” He muttered. At least someone openly knew his secret.
A few hours passed, it was getting close to 10 now, when the phone rang in Quatre’s office. Duo was already settling into his room and they would meet in his lounge for drinks. It was Trowa on the phone, the storm hadn’t come in yet and the circus was packed up for the night he could visit. Quatre tried to hold back his excitement, saying Trowa should come over, they were just going to have some drinks. Not too long after, the butler was showing Trowa into the lounge while Duo was pouring two glasses of wine. “Trowa, you made it!” he said out loud. Trowa nodded with a smile. “Want one? Q just opened a bottle of red!”
The performer nodded, starting to take off his jacket, “Sure, why not.” Quatre sat up in his chair, unconsciously fixing up his own vest he still had on. “Thanks for the invite.” Trowa said.
“Anything for a friend.” Quatre smiled back. Duo carefully balanced three wine glasses filled a little too much with red wine to the boys. Quatre held his up a little, “A toast, to the end of the war.”
“To friends!” Duo added.
“To us.” Trowa finished. Quatre blushed a little again, to us? He quickly put the glass to his mouth with two hands.
Duo drank half his glass quickly, “Alright! This is amazing!” he was always so excited.
The three chatted again, they could hear the winds outside starting to grow. The storms must have been right on the horizon. Quatre could also only hear his heartbeat. There weren’t people around, no other emotions to take in. He couldn’t read the pilots, so he was just with his own thoughts. 10:00, 10:30, 10:45. The clock started to strike the hour and they all looked up. His heart skipped at a chime, an emotion. But there was no one around. It skipped again, he felt it again. He felt passion. Another chime, he felt longing. He looked at the two others talking about past and future events. Another chime, another emotion, anticipation.
Quatre shook his head, maybe the few glasses of wine were catching up with him. “You ok Q?” Duo asked, leaning in.
“Yeah… I’m fine.” He spoke. The final chimes had stopped. He looked up at the two again, he could still feel emotions that he shouldn’t. Passion, want, love. “I- I need a moment.” He put his glass down and headed out of his own lounge.
After closing the door, the two others looked up. Duo was behind Trowa looking and could only see the back of his head, “you know-“ Duo started, getting Trowa to turn to him, “This is your chance.”
“What?!” Trowa was a bit flustered.
Duo chuckled, “you guys are impossible! Go after him you idiot!”
Trowa had a dumbfounded look but understood. He put his glass down and grabbed his leather jacket on the way out. He watched Trowa rush out and leaned back in his chair, finishing his own glass of wine with a sense of accomplishment and smirk on his face.