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Zanka was getting sick.
As he watched the trash beast collapse on itself, he realized he could feel it in the back of his throat. He let out a small sigh in irritation, turning to rejoin the others. Back at Hell Guard, if you got sick, you either trained or you were dead. There was no in-between, no place for a weakness as small as getting sick. He’s been sick before in the Cleaners, but only Riyo and Enjin had to witness the fever that took him out for a day. This time, he felt it coming on, and he wasn’t going to let it put him out of commission. He had to get stronger after all.
‘Time to lock the hell in.’ Zanka thought, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips at the sight of no one injured after the mission. That was already a good sign.
}{}{}{
Zanka fell ill. As much as he had tried to prevent the sick feeling from creeping up on him, it succeed all his efforts and dropped its heavy weight on his shoulders.
He groaned as he dragged his Cleaners Uniform on, noting the bags under his eyes and pale parlor to his skin. There was a heavy weight on his limbs, but he could hear his sister’s voice echoing in his mind, muttering about how much of a weakling he would be if he couldn’t get past a simple cold. He wasn’t a Hell Guard anymore, and he wasn’t living under those same expectations. He didn’t believe he was the strongest anymore, and he trained himself now, not to prove he was stronger than anyone else. He didn’t have to listen to the sound of her voice in his mind anymore.
Except, it still echoed enough that he felt partially inclined to listen to it. He wasn’t living under those same expectations anymore, but he had expectations here to meet. People to watch over and make proud here. With that in mind, Zanka splashed some cold water on his face, ran a hand through his hair, and grabbed Lovely Assistaff. He had a few small missions this morning and then training with Rudo. He didn’t have time to mope about with the weight of his limbs.
“Are you sick again, Zanka?” Riyo asked, leaning over the back of the couch Zanka was sprawled across. He oved his arm, uncovering his eyes and wincing as the light seemed to personally pierce into his eyes.
“’s jus’ a small cold.” He grumbled, dropping his arm back over his eyes. He was going to have to force himself to his feet soon, he’d have to go find the little punk to train with him soon. Above him, Riyo hummed gently. She moved from behind the couch to sit at the armrest near his head, dropping a hand to lightly stroke through his hair.
“Y’know, I can train with Rudo today so you can take a break.” Riyo offered. Zanka was up in seconds, ignoring the way it made his vision swim for a few seconds.
“What? No way Riyo! Enjin put me in charge as his trainer, and you’d jus’ let ‘im eat sweets the whole time!” Zanka squawked, flicking the other teen in the forehead. Outrageous! Like he was going to let Riyo train Rudo in his place! That was just letting a disaster brew!
Riyo whined, rubbing at the place Zanka had flicked. “I promise I can be serious for an hour! Besides, you’ve been on missions all morning and look like you need a break!” She exclaimed, digging one of her fingers into his cheek. Underneath her playful attitude, Zanka could see the worry shining in her eyes, and he sighed, wrestling her hands off his face.
“I ‘preciate it, but I promise I’ll be fine,” Zanka assured, pushing himself to his feet. He rolled his eyes at the childish pout Riyo shot him and continued to walk out of the room. Besides, he was only training with Rudo for an hour because of how many missions he took this morning, and he wasn’t worried since there was no heat lingering on his brow, so Riyo was overreacting right now. He was totally fine.
Reaching the training grounds, Zanka was surprised to see Rudo already sitting on the bench, fiddling with a new object. He walked over, nudging the younger boy with the edge of his Lovely Assistaff to gain his attention. “Yo, time to train ya’ scuzzball,” Zanka said, and Rudo huffed, putting his object up before looking at Zanka and freezing. He raised an eyebrow, wondering what was up with the kid. “What—”
“What’s wrong with you?” Rudo bluntly questioned, scrunching his nose at Zanka. The teen felt a vein threaten to pop in his irritation.
“What was that scuzz?” Zanka seethed, clutching Lovely Assistaff closer to himself. If this little punk was trying to pick a fight…!
The teen watched Rudo, who narrowed his eyes at Zanka. It was silent for a long minute, so long that Zanka’s irritation started to ebb away. Still, he didn’t say anything, knowing Rudo struggled to say what he really meant at times. So, he stood there, watching Rudo watch him with narrowed eyes and a thoughtful expression.
Finally, the kid said, “Sorry, I mean… ya’ don’t look like yourself. Your kinda look like how Enjin looked when he got sick,” Rudo trailed off, eyes going wide. “Zanka—”
“I’m fine, Rudo,” Zanka sighed, cutting off the kid’s trail of thought before he got far. “I’ve jus’ got a small cold, but I a’int got a fever or nothin’, so I’m fine.” He ignored the way his vision still swam a bit when he moved one way too quickly, or how heavy his limbs still were with exhaustion from when he woke up this morning. He could still move, and he had things to do, so he was going to be fine. It would pass over in the next day or so, and nobody would need to bother to worry about the head cold. He nudged Rudo with his Jinki again. “C’mon, time to train.”
Rudo huffed but stood to his feet and followed Zanka to the middle of the training ground. With his back to him, Zanka missed the concern still lingering in Rudo’s expression.
}{}{}{
“We are Nijiku’s. Stand up, Zanka. We are stronger than a simple cold, and I will not let you fall on the family name like this.” Kyouka spat, her eyes cold with irritation. Goka sat to the side, head resting in one of his hands. His eyes weren’t as cold, and there was even a sliver of concern hidden in them.
Zanka sniffled, pushing himself to sit on his heels. His head was pounding, and his limbs were heavy. Shivers wracked his body, but his skin felt like it was on fire. “Ane-san…” Zanka sniffed, pushing himself to his feet as he stood. “It hurts, my head.”
“You’re going to hurt a lot worse if you don’t push past it. You’ll be fine, and nothing will hurt more than disgracing the family name,” His older sister hissed, eyes darting over to the building behind Goka. If Zanka had been slightly older, and even slightly more aware, he would’ve picked up on the flash of fear and concern that went through her eyes.
But he didn’t. He just shifted his feet, hoping that training could end soon. As Kyouka shifted into a stance across from him, Goka sighed, dropping his hands between his knees. “Zanka,” he called, drawing the boy’s attention away from their sister, just for a moment. His eyes shone with promise, of something slightly familial. “Just land one hit on her. I don’t care what kind, or how strong. Give your best, and land one hit on her, and your training is done for the day. You can rest after.”
At his older brother’s words, Zanka’s head whipped towards Kyouka, want shining in his eyes. His sister huffed, but she didn’t disagree, which meant it was a promise! All he had to do was land one hit on her, which would be hard, but Goka said as long as he gave his best effort, it didn’t matter what kind! He could do this, he was a Nijiku. The pounding in his head wasn’t going to stop him from accomplishing that!
With that, and renewed vigor, his training resumed.
}{}{}{
Zanka peeled his heavy eyelids open, groaning at the struggle and the heat that was raging war across his brow. The headache from yesterday had not passed, in fact, it had only developed into a migraine. Forcing himself to sit up, Zanka ran a hand through his hair, waiting for the world to stop spinning so aggressively. His one benefit was he had the day off today, because of how many missions he had taken yesterday. It also meant he wouldn’t be questioned until everyone got back to HQ, but it also meant if anything happened, there weren’t a lot of people he trusted to see him like this around.
With an annoyed huff of air, Zanka dragged himself out of bed and began moving through the actions of getting ready for the day. Skipping breakfast was going to back a backlash later, but as Zanka got dressed, he decided he was too nauseous to even attempt eating anything. Mind made up, Zanka settled onto the floor and began to go through the process of tending to Lovely Assistaff, ignoring the shake in his hands.
It was going to be fine. He had the day off, so he wouldn’t do anything today. That way, tomorrow he’ll wake up and feel much better.
His eyes flew open to the sound of screeching outside his door. So much for meditating. He thought, rushing over to his door and throwing it open, ignoring the black spots dancing across his vision as he did so. His heartrate that had jumped up was suddenly easing back out, and he felt like a fool for not realizing it was just the kids running around and playing some game. He sighed, rubbing his eyes. He almost flinched at the hot, clammy feeling on his skin, but he just barely held it back, not wanting to concern the gaggle of kids that were now running back in his direction.
Wait, running back in his direction?
Zanka had just a moment to think Shit- before Guita, Dear, and Remlin were running back in his direction, Guita and Remlin screeching at the top of their lungs, the sound sending a hot spike of brain straight to Zanka’s brain. He winced, moving to step back, before a hard shoulder was ramming into his midsection, and a surprised yelp came from the white puff ball that caused it.
The momentum threw the two of them to the ground, tumbling and landing hard, the sound of giggles floating around the corner. The two of them groaned, and Zanka felt the light weight shift off of his midsection. He went to follow, but quickly realized his hands weren’t moving the way he wanted them to move, and that the black spots that had previously been dancing across his vision never left. In fact, they had only increased, crowding and blocking everything else from his vision. His thoughts were slurring together, and with realization that struck him at the thought of molasse, Zanka realized he was about to pass out.
Distantly, he could hear Rudo beginning to say something, but Zanka ignored it in favor of forcing his hand to move, grabbing the arm of the kid’s coat. “Rudo, call someone,” He hissed, before black fully consumed his vision.
}{}{}{
Eishia had been restocking the cupboards in the infirmary when her choker started ringing. Startling, she fumbled for a moment before tapping it on to answer the call. “H- hello?”
“Eishia!” It was Rudo, and he sounded frantic and worried. This instantly sent Eishia into alarm. What could’ve happened? She shook her head, forcing herself to listen in. “-an you help me? It- it’s Zanka! The turd face is sick and I don’t know what to do and the others are all out on missions right now and—”
How horrible!! What if I can’t do anything to help Zanka out- no no no, Eishia, snap out of it! Calm down, Rudo needs your help! You’re the senior here, you’ve got to pull it together! Eishia shook her head, fixing her hat on her head before fluttering back over to the cupboards. “Rudo, where are you and Zanka a-at right now?” She asked softly, internally scolding herself for the waver in her voice.
There was the sound of a deep inhale, followed by a shaky exhale. Eishia frowned, willing Rudo to answer faster, for the sake of helping any way she could. After a long minute, Rudo finally answered. “W- we’re in front of his room. I bumped into him on accident and knocked him over, and… EIshia I don’t know how to help!”
“Rudo, it’ll be okay, I’m on my way now. Can you try and get him out of the hallway? That would help out a lot, and we can go from there together, okay? Zanka’s a tough guy, I promise you he’ll be okay in no time.” Eishia promised, bundling everything in her arms and rushing out of the infirmary. She was surprised by the confidence in her own voice, but she didn’t dwell on it for long as she hurried towards their location.
There was a sniffle on the other side of the line. “…kay,” Rudo whispered, and Eishia willed her feet and legs to move faster, to carry herself to the newest member’s side. Rudo went silent after that, but he didn’t hang up, so Eishia didn’t try to hang up either. She focused on hurrying to their side.
In a matter of minutes, Eishia was barreling around the corner, and bolting down to Zanka’s open door. There, she quickly assessed the situation in front of her. Rudo had managed to get Zanka back into his room, and he was now lying across the carpet by his bed. The kid himself was fidgeting with his hands, sitting beside the older teen. Red eyes looked up, shining with concern when he spotted Eishia coming in. She dropped her supplies on the floor, following with her knees softly hitting the carpet as she sat herself besides Rudo.
“Good job, Rudo.” Eishia praised, instantly beginning to assess Zanka. His breathing was raspy, and his skin was way paler than usual. Sweat beaded his brow, but she could see a slight shiver running through his shoulders. His eyes were tightly pressed together, forming the image that he was in pain. Or, at least his head was probably killing him. Eishia turned to the supplies she had brought with her, hands moving quickly. She already decided she wouldn’t be able to use her powers on him, since there was no injury she could get rid of. Zanka was simply going to have to ride this one out, but she had brought things specifically to help. Glancing up, she found Rudo had gone back to fidgeting with his gloves, eyes still shining with unshed emotion. “Rudo, can you go fill this bowl up with cold water for me please? We’ll use it to wet these towels to try and cool his skin down. While you’re filling the bowl, could you please get in contact with Enjin or Riyo? Both of them should be coming back from their missions soon, and they’ll also be able to help.”
She kept her voice light and gentle, keeping any surprise at how her voice didn’t waver off her face. Rudo stared at the bowl she held out to him for a moment, before slowly taking it and pushing to his feet. He ducked out the room to fill the bowl with water, and distantly, she heard Riyo’s voice floating from his collar. Fixing her eyes back to Zanka, Eishia took in a deep breath to try and steady her racing heart, before slowly letting it out.
Keep calm. A doctor can’t help anyone if she can’t help herself first. Take a deep breath, feel it enter your lungs and calm your soul. Then, let it out from the depths of your belly. From the bottom of your lungs. Exhale all your worry, and latch onto focus for the patient. Your worry comes later, care and focus for the patient comes first.
Her grandma’s words floated in her mind, causing her fluttering heart to return to a steady beat. She went through the motions to sanitize her hands, put gloves on, fix her hat once more, and reach for the IV she brought with her. She could do this. It wasn’t life-or-death, she wasn’t praying her electric shock healed and didn’t go one volt over, she was doing what she’s always loved doing- helping people.
With one more deep breath, Eishia focused.
}{}{}{
The last time he had gotten sick hadn’t been as bad, but he had collapsed to his knee during a mission with Riyo and Enjin. His legs had given out on him, every limb feeling like jelly as his vision altered between grey and clear. In one moment, he blinked, there were no beasts around him, and in the next, everything was slightly grey, and Enjin was standing in front of him, blasting a beast to pieces. In a blur of red, Riyo was beside him, curiously peering at him, green eyes glowing.
“What’s up with you man?” She had asked, half her braid falling over her shoulder. The look in her eyes then had reminded him of the concern Kyouka and Goka held in their eyes that one time. It was the look of concern on someone who barely knew how to feel and express said emotion. He had shaken his head then, instantly regretting it when it made his vision swim. He swayed forward, and felt a hand grab his shoulder, keeping him upright.
“’s just a cold, ‘m still good to fight.” Zanka slurred, curling his hand around Lovely Assistaff. He blinked, and now Enjin was crouched in front of him, eyes glinting with curious worry.
“Nah, looks pretty bad kid. Besides, I just took out the last beast. We’re heading back the HQ now.” Enjin said, twirling his Umbreaker as he considered Zanka.
Disappointment wore heavy on his chest, panic fluttering in his stomach. “Wait- I’m sorry, I promise- it’s really not that bad—” He began to plead, panic flaring hot in his chest for some reason. Enjin frowned at him, and the panic burned hotter, fear that the man was disappointed in him.
“You are so silly,” Riyo giggled, and the sound snapped Zanka out of his thoughts. His eyes snapped over to her, and she smiled softly at him.
“Kid, breathe. No one is mad at you, and you did good. I don’t want you to get any worse. We take care of each other, Zanka.” Enjin had said, tone serious, but also kind. It was a promise, and Zanka had let himself fall into Riyo’s side, exhaustion rushing through his veins and making his limbs grow heavier.
They had helped him to the jeep, and Riyo had sat beside him for the entire ride back, awkwardly letting herself pet through Zanka’s hair. Enjin’s driving hadn’t been as erratic, but it had been just as fast. When they made it back to HQ, they helped him to his room and stayed with him the entire time. Brought him water, made sure he actually got rest and ate easy foods for his stomach. It was the closest thing to familial comfort Zanka had ever found, and it had been a relief. To finally find family where he didn’t have to constantly look for promises to be made in order to find safety.
It was nice to be able to lean on other people.
}{}{}{
Zanka remembers things in flashes of consciousness. A flash of pale hair, cool hands, and a needle. A flash of red eyes and bandages, worry and concern warring with irritation, followed by the distant sound of humming. A flash of red hair and hands gently pulling through his hair, and a flash of red and black tattoos shifting him into loose clothes. Snippets of half-heard conversations, cuts of worry and assurance. Nothing was ever seen or heard in the full picture, but what Zanka remembered from each piece was warmth and safety. He let himself sink back into the darkness, but it was stable and where others caught him.
When Zanka fully comes too, it’s to himself in his bed under light covers, head resting on a pillow. His eyes were no longer a struggle to open, and there was no heat waging war under his skin. His limbs had only a faint tinge of exhaustion, but for the most part, Zanka felt… refreshed. He began to sit up and felt a slight twinge in his arm. Looking down, he saw an IV in the crook of his arm, and he stared at it for a long minute. So long, he didn’t hear Eishia walk back into the room.
“O-oh! You’re awake now!” Eishia startled, clutching her hands close to her chest. Zanka tilted his head at her, feeling a small smile cross his face.
“Hey Eishia, thanks for fixin’ me up. Good work as usual,” Zanka said, lowering his arm back on the bed. Eishia startled flustering, waving her hands around her face as a light flush appeared on her ears.
“N-no, no no, it was no big deal, I really didn’t do much!! I wish I could’ve done more so you weren’t out for so long, b- but I’m really glad you’re okay now! Everyone was worried, but I really didn’t do much!” Eishia exclaimed, backing up more towards the door.
Zanka stared at her for a moment, confused. “’t can’t be tha’ bad. How long was I out for?”
“You were out for almost a week. Your fever was really high, and it took a while to break it, but you pulled through.” Eishia stopped her frantic movements, considering Zanka. “Next time you get sick or feel yourself getting sick, don’t push yourself too far, alright? We were worried about you.” She tilted her head towards the door, and a small smile slipped onto her face. “Auggie is calling me now, so I’ll leave you be.” She darted forward and slipped the IV from Zanka’s arm, placing a bandage in the crook of his arm and gathering the rest of her things. She gave him a small smile, bowing her head slightly as she slipped out of the room. “Welcome back, Zanka.”
With that, she fully slipped out of the room, leaving Zanka by himself, blinking in surprise at how long he had been out for. He didn’t have long to sit by himself with the information before Riyo was bursting into his room, as usual, through his window.
“Zan-Zan!! What’s up with you man? Getting’ sick on us!” Riyo exclaimed, flipping and landing on his bed by his feet. She tilted her head at him, green eyes gleaming with concern, but also a happiness he hadn’t seen in her eyes for a hot minute. The afternoon sun hit her hair, making it brighter than it usually was.
“It wasn’ my idea for it ta’ get tha’ bad,” Zanka grumbled, shoving at her feet that she kept shoving into his lap. She snickered at his attempts, scooting closer to drape her legs across his.
“Well, I’m glad Eishia was able to get you patched up. Don’t worry us like that dude.” Riyo complained, laying across the foot of his bed, winning the battle of kicking her feet into his lap. In response, Zanka just rolled his eyes and sighed, leaning back against the headboard.
Just as he did, the door was thrown open, followed by a blur of yellow and the scent of tobacco. Enjin strolled in, eyes brightly gleaming and a toothy grin on his face. “Yeah Zan, it’s okay to lean on us. You know it doesn’t make you weak.”
Zanka balled his hand into the sheets, looking down at his hands. “I know… it’s just- it’s just a bit difficult sometimes, y’know?” He muttered, frowning at the thought of how he handled the situation. A large hand ruffled his hair, and he looked up at Enjin, who grinned at him.
“Yeah, I know. It’s hard for all of us, so no one is gonna judge ya’ for the hesitation. As long as you know we care about ya’, and we’ve always got your back.” Enjin said softly, a warm look filling his eyes, and Zanka barely bit back a toothy grin of his own.
It’s a promise.
“Speaking of us all carin’ about ya’, where’s that little dork? Rudo was hella worried about you Zanka! Eishie there told him to call us, and he barely spoke to us about the situation! You had him really rattled, so if you don’t do it for yourself, do it for the kid.” Enjin chuckled, moving to sit beside Zanka on his bed. Lowering his voice, he added, “Rudo really looks up to you, and he was the most worried about ya’. Don’t stop remindin’ yourself that you’re not weak and we’ll always catch you.”
Enjin gave the older teen another hair ruffle, and a small, gentle smile. Zanka softly huffed but smiled back. Right as he was about to say something, Rudo came storming in, usual glare fixed on his face. “That is NOT true!” Rudo seethed, pointing a finger at Enjin, who just scoffed.
“Yes it is, you little liar!” Enjin cackled.
“Such a bad liar,” Riyo hummed from the foot of the bed, dragging a finger through the air. A blush appeared on the tips of Rudo’s ears as he glared at all three of them.
“I was not worried about this turd face! You freakin’ turd face you! Getting’ sick all over the place and passing out on people and then not waking up for several days! Stop doing that! Never again!” He hissed through his teeth.
“Hah? What the hell ya’ scuzz!” Zanka huffed, before Rudo shoved a little object at Zanka. Looking down at it, he noticed it was a little replica of his Lovely Assisstaff, and there had obviously been a lot of care put into it. A flame of pride filled Zanka’s chest, and when he looked back up, Rudo was already huffing and dropping himself to sit on the carpet.
“Whatever! Just stop doing stupid things, stupid.” He muttered, pulling a trinket from his pocket and already beginning to mess with it. Zanka tuned out Riyo’s voice as she started teasing Rudo, thumb lightly tracing over the gift Rudo had given him. The other’s words echoed in his mind, replacing the ring of his sister’s, and he smiled.
This was his family, and this space was home.