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“Dee I swear to fucking god, we’re not pulling over again. We’ve only been driving for two hours,” Dennis seethes from behind the steering wheel. Dee is shifting back and forth in the backseat. She has to pee. Again.
“Are we almost there yet?” Mac asks from the passenger seat, “Because my ass is beginning to cramp, and I think-“
“We’re still in Philly though, right? I don’t want to leave Philly, and you all promised me we wouldn’t leave Philly and-“
“Dennis pull over, I’m gonna piss all over this seat if you don’t fucking pull over right now-“
Dennis swerves the car to the side of the road, causing something to go crashing down in the trunk with a thud. He whips his head around and stares at Dee, stone-faced. Dee tucks her chin into her neck and opens her mouth to say something but Dennis is already yelling, so she ducks out of the door and waddles down to the ditch on the side of the road, grabbing an empty water bottle from the ground of the car as she goes. Dennis leans his head back on the seat and sighs dramatically. Mac breaks the silence.
“So are we almost there yet?”
“Yes, Mac. We’re almost there,”
“And are we still in-“
“Yes, Charlie. We’re still in Philly,”
Charlie nods to himself, satisfied, putting his feet up on the back of the seat. Mac’s ass still hurts but he’s not going to push his luck. Everything was going pretty smoothly, all things considered.
In an uncharacteristic display of forward-thinking, the gang had left early in the morning, all meeting at Charlie’s house at 8am. Dennis and Dee had loaded their car with whatever camping stuff they could forage in their garage. They had some basics; a tent, sleeping bags, a tarp. They had never actually used it before, but their dad had kept some of his old stuff and stowed it away. He never would have taken them camping, and there was no way in hell their mother was going to be going anywhere less elaborate than a five star hotel.
As it were, they had a pretty decent set up going on. Charlie’s mom had filled a cooler with sandwiches and snacks. Mac had traded some weed for a case of beer, and Dee had stolen some whiskey from the Reynolds’ liquor cabinet. They felt pretty good about themselves as they set out. About a half hour in, Dee wanted to stop at the gas station to pee. This was met with less hostility than the current ordeal, if only because Mac was able to pick up a couple packs of cigarettes with his fake ID.
They stopped twice more after that. Once because Charlie had started to freak out the moment they merged onto the highway, and Mac had to maneuver himself around and scream at him until he shut up. Dee got out and peed during the commotion. The second time was because Dee and Mac started to argue about whether or not the windows should be down or up. Dee didn’t want her hair flying around and getting tangled, but Mac felt that it was the appropriate way to start a badass road trip; with the wind on his goddamn face. This led to Mac’s fingers being crushed in the window as he attempted to manually pull it down as Dee aggressively tried to wind it up. Dennis almost crashed the car as Mac screeched at the top of his lungs, his fingers crunching under the glass.
Anyways. Dennis said they were almost there, and that was enough for Mac. He’d have plenty of time to stretch out his legs and practice some karate when they were at the campsite. Or watering hole. It wasn’t technically a campsite but none of them were about to shell out actual money just to sleep beside some fucking trees. They weren’t fucking idiots. Dee came back inside then, slamming the door behind her. And they were off again. Mac watched in the rear-view mirror as the bottle of piss she left on the side of the road grew smaller and smaller, and then disappeared completely.
-
When they finally arrived, it was almost noon. They pulled the car up as close as they could to the small watering hole. Dooley had gone on and on about this place, claiming it was the best spot to get high and be alone. Mac had to admit, it was pretty nice. Nobody was around, and the trees surrounding the water made it feel as though they were hundreds of miles from civilization, even though they were only about ten minutes away from a shopping center. The early afternoon sun was blazing down, and all four of them were already coated in a thin sheen of sweat. Dennis was tilting his jaw upward and rubbing his hands together as the four piled out of the car, talking about getting everything organized and set up before they started anything. His speech was interrupted by Charlie running and jumping fully clothed into the water. Dee joined him shortly afterwards, and they both laughed gleefully from the water. Dennis was clearly pissed, wild-eyed and walking towards them, but Mac put his hand on his wrist and pulled him not-to-gently back towards the trunk of the car.
“Let’s just start without them, dude,”
Mac and Dennis set up to the best of their ability. The tent didn’t go up as easily as they thought it would, and the twins hadn’t thought to bring the manual with them. They were panting and huffing, red-faced, trying to keep it standing upright. Eventually it resembled something close to a tent, and that was good enough for both of them. Mac reached into the cooler and pulled out two beers, handing one to Dennis. Dennis cracked his open and hit it against Mac’s in salute, beer sloshing out of the can and dripping onto Mac’s wrists. Dennis flashed him a toothy grin. His skin had begun to freckle at the beginning of the summer, but it was late August now, and his face was covered in them. Dennis had recently started to coat his face in foundation, and Mac found he liked the way his natural sun-kissed face looked. Mac grinned back at him threw his beer back.
“Let’s jump in, bro,”
They quickly undressed down to their swim shorts, and ran towards Dee and Charlie, carrying the cooler with them. While they had been setting up camp, Charlie had found an old tire swing that had fallen down and sank to the bottom of the watering hole. He had got it tied back up onto the tree beside the water, and Dee and he were arguing over who would get to go for the first swing. Mac walked over, the soft grass crushing pleasantly under his toes, and pushed them both forcefully to the side. He tugged a couple times experimentally at the string holding up the tire, to make sure it wouldn’t fall the moment he put any weight on it. He nodded, satisfied. And with that, he gripped the string and pushed himself off the slight ledge above the water.
“BADASS!” he screamed as he went flopping into the water. When he emerged Dee and Charlie were yelling at him for budging, and Dennis was whooping and cheering. Dennis followed suit, preening as he stood up on top of the tire and flung himself gracelessly into the water. He emerged laughing, and they both turned to Dee and Charlie, urging them to come on in. The two ended up swinging in together, to solve the ‘who goes first’ issue. The gang swam around each other, splashing each other and showing off as they took turns jumping from the tire swing.
-
Dennis and Dee faced off against Charlie and Mac in a game of chicken fight. The twins won, as always. Dee was stronger than she looked. In post-losing rage, Charlie flung a chunk of mud from the bottom of the hole at Dee’s head as her and Dennis sang and danced on shore, celebrating their victory. The mud hit her right in the ear, and she shrieked, jumping in and lunging for him. Charlie dodged her and threw another handful, this time at Dennis, and it hit him square in the chest. His jaw dropped in shock and Mac barked out a laugh.
“You’re both dead,” he yelled, jumping in and ducking under the water to grab a pile of mud. He threw it in Charlie’s direction and missed. Charlie had much better aim, and Dee and Dennis were no match. Mac was hanging back and watching, laughing, splashing water in the twins’ direction. Suddenly Dee and Dennis turned their attention towards him, since they weren’t having any luck with Charlie.
“Watch out bro!” Charlie shrieked. And Suddenly Mac was being pelted with mud from both sides. He ducked underneath the water and tried to swim away, but Dennis caught him by his waist and pulled him towards him, dragging Mac’s back against his chest. Dennis pinned his arms, and tucked his chin over his shoulder.
“Get him, Dee!” he yelled, and Dee walked towards him menacingly, carrying an enormous pile of mud. Mac squirmed and tried to get out of Dennis’ grip, but Dennis just held on tighter.
“You’re about to get a mouth full of mud, dickbrain,” Dee cackled. Dennis laughed with her, and his wet face rubbed against Mac’s as he did. Mac found that he wasn’t really trying very hard to get away. He probably could have. He definitely could have. But he didn’t. Just as Dee was inches away from Mac, she suddenly went under. There was a brief moment of silence, as Dennis’ chest rose and fell against Mac’s back, his breath cool on the side of Mac’s face. Then Charlie emerged and Dee followed a moment after. Charlie was giggling, shooting Mac a thumbs up.
“Charlie!” Dee yelled, swimming angrily towards a laughing Charlie, who had tugged her under by her ankles. Dennis was laughing too, dropping Mac’s arms, but not moving away. Mac turned towards him, his arm skimming across Dennis’ chest, and Dennis smiled at him. Mac felt himself blush. They were too close, and Dennis was just standing there casually, water rippling around him. For some reason that Mac couldn’t understand, it made him feel completely lit up. His hands twitched at his sides, his chest swelling, eyes darting anywhere but Dennis’. His eyes skimmed along Dennis’ chest and arms. It felt weird to be looking at him this way, this close. The silence was too much for Mac.
“Bro, I bet I can do a backflip off of the tire swing,” he said, mostly to fill the space. After he said it though, he realized that he really did think he could do it. And that Dennis and the gang would be ultra-impressed when he did.
“Go for it, dude,” Dennis said, still unmoving. Mac extracted himself from Dennis’ space, hopping on land and over to the tire swing. He still felt overly warm, despite being soaking wet, and it made him feel more ashamed than he would like to admit. He looked over at Dee and Charlie, who weren’t arguing anymore but inspecting and poking what appeared to be a dead toad. Mac got himself pumped up by doing a couple karate kicks and punches into the air. Dennis was now seated, feet dangling into the water and watching him, another beer in his hands. He gave him a big thumbs up, and Mac flushed again.
“Alright assholes, I’m about to do a backflip off this thing, so gather ‘round,” he declared loudly. Charlie hopped out of the water and grabbed himself a beer, settling down next to Dennis. Dee followed suit. He waited until they were all seated and watching, and then pulled the tire swing towards him. This was going to be totally badass, he thought to himself. It was late afternoon now, nearing evening, and the sunshine poured down onto the little watering hole, making the ripples and waves glitter. It made Mac think of God, for some reason, which only made him feel worse about the slight tension still present in his groin, and the flush on his cheeks. He mouthed a small prayer to himself and looked up again to see his three friends patiently waiting for him across the water. Mac’s chest seized a bit, and he thought that it would be nice if the gang could figure out a way to always be together, even when they’re old and have to have jobs and wives and husbands and shit. But for now he thought that days like this would have to do. He took a deep breath, and then stepped towards the edge.
-
He came into consciousness on land. Dennis was leaning over him, gently slapping his cheeks. Dee was dripping water onto his face, and Charlie was gripping his arm. He moved to sit up and immediately felt a sharp pain in his head and groaned.
“Oh thank god, the dumb boner isn’t dead,”
“Are you ok, dude?”
“Do we have something to wrap his head in?”
“What happened?”
Dennis removed his hand from his cheek and placed it on his chest. His brow was creased and his jaw tense, but he looked relieved. Mac felt shame when he realized he must have hurt himself, but a part of him thought he might do it again, if only to see Dennis look like this again. The look of concern on his face was worth the pounding in his head. He’d probably do it a thousand more times, if he was being honest with himself, just to prove to himself that Dennis gave a shit about him.
“Dude, you fucking bailed. You slipped from the ledge and hit your head against a rock on your way down,”
Charlie nodded his head wildly in confirmation.
“It was crazy dude. We all thought it was a joke or something but then you didn’t come up for air and Dennis went diving in and had to carry you out-“
Mac stopped paying attention to the detailed story of how he fucked up the damn flip. His head killed him and he was angry at himself for not executing the move. Dee had apparently left and then returned from the car with a first aid kit that Charlie’s mom had packed for him. Dennis opened it and took out some white bandages. He gently lifted Mac’s head and turned it towards him to assess the damage.
“You’re bleeding, buddy,”
“I’m fine,”
“Alright,” Dennis said, then began softly wrapping the white bandage around his head. When he finished he tied it and tucked it neatly underneath the folds, admiring his handy work. Dennis looked down at Mac and lifted an eyebrow at him in question. Mac hadn’t been paying attention to anything but Dennis’ hands on his skull, and he shook himself slightly and tuned into the conversation going on beside him; Charlie and Dee were discussing whether or not they needed to take Mac back home and to a hospital. Mac looked back up at Dennis, who was still staring at him with concern. It made Mac feel dizzy, but maybe he was just dizzy because he hit his fucking head against a rock. Either way, he made a decision and hoisted himself up, walking towards the cooler to get himself another beer. The gang watched him as he opened it and took a sip. It didn’t go down well, but he wanted to prove a point.
“So are we gonna start a fire for tonight, or what?” he asked. Charlie leapt to his feet.
“Bro,”
-
Mac’s head stopped bothering him fairly quickly, he just tried to make sure he was sitting down. And not moving it too much. Or at all. He watched as his friends, though mostly Charlie, dug a fire pit a few feet away from the car. Dennis and Dee had no idea how this was done, but they still tried to assert themselves into the process. Charlie ignored them as they stood by with beers in their hands and discussed how they personally would go about it. In about twenty minutes, Charlie had a kindling going. Another ten and it was a perfect little bonfire. Mac stood up, despite the pain, and clapped his bro on the back. Charlie beamed as he looked down at the crackling flames.
They attempted to cook hotdogs on sticks, but they burnt and charred them to shit. Nobody cared much, they were all five beers deep, and back then that was enough to keep them at a decent buzz. They were arguing about something or another. Dennis’ eyes intermittently kept flicking over to Mac, and up at the bandage around his head. It was irritating Mac, now. He was a fucking man. He could handle a fucking rock to the head. Like any real man could.
“Did you bring any weed, Mac,” Charlie asked suddenly.
“Uh, yeah bro, obviously,”
“Then break it out dicknose, why you holding out?” Dee demanded.
Mac glared at her as Charlie sidled up right next to him. They all got up and created a small half circle next to the fire, as Mac pulled two joints out from the bag beside him. He got his lighter out and lit one, placing it between his lips and taking the first hit. His head rang a bit, as he breathed in, and he felt Dennis’ eyes on him. He passed the joint to Charlie, who snatched it from him and immediately took an enormous hit, eyes rolling back. They passed the joint around until it was finished.
Mac lit the second joint, and they were slower with this one, already settling into their highs. Mac looked up and around at his friends. They were all red eyed. Dee leaned back on her elbows, staring up at the bits of the now starry sky they could see through the thick shelter of trees above them. Mac hadn’t really noticed it until now, but she seemed less annoying lately, now that her back brace was off. She didn’t cry and rage every other hour, at least. The doctors said it could go back on at any moment if she were to throw out her back, Dennis told him. This didn’t seem to make her any more cautious of a person. Mac respected her for that. Charlie was in between her and him, cross-legged and humming to himself, fingers tapping against his legs. Probably composing, Mac thought.
Mac’s legs we’re outstretched alongside Dennis’, and he was leaning back against the cooler. Dennis had the joint currently, dangling the stump of it between his fingers. He had his arm on the cooler, behind Mac’s back, and was looking slack-faced off into the distance. It was weirdly quiet out here, to Mac. They were all city folk, and Mac was pretty sure that if they weren’t high, the quiet crackling of the fire and the chirping of the bugs would have freaked them all out. He watched as Dennis brought the joint to his lips and inhaled. As he drew his head back and released a thick plume of smoke, his profile lit up with the light of the fire. Mac felt his stomach turn, and he looked away, focusing instead on the flame in front of him. Dennis nudged his arm, and he clenched his jaw as he turned to face him.
“Wanna finish it, bro?” Dennis asked.
Mac nodded slightly, taking the joint from Dennis’ hands. He inhaled and lay his head back on the cooler, letting the smoke sit in his lungs for a bit. Just before the exhale he felt Dennis move beside him, and suddenly he was above him as Mac blew the sweet smelling smoke out of his lungs, sucking it in. Mac’s eyes were open in shock. Dennis’ lips were inches away from his own, and his eyes had fluttered shut. Once he had breathed in the smoke, Dennis slumped back down and blew it out through his smiling mouth. Mac stared at him, mouth gaping slightly. He spared a quick glance over to Dee and Charlie, but they were both still consumed by their own highs, spaced out and sinking further into the ground. Dennis kept smiling, but Mac thought he could see a bit of colour on his cheeks. Or was it a sunburn? Mac looked down and his hands, and massaged his wrists.
“How’s your head, Mac?” Dennis asked smoothly, breaking into the silence.
“’s better,” Mac said, still looking down.
“Lemme see,” Dennis said, already reaching for the bandages. He unwrapped them softly, and peered inside as Mac sat, his back rigid, “Yep. Bleeding’s stopped,”
“Good,”
“Mhm,”
Dee stirred beside Charlie, and suddenly sat upright. She used her hands to crack her neck, then yawned. This made Charlie yawn as well, and Mac tried to stifle his.
“Can’t believe we’ll be at Penn in less than a month,” Dee said, out of nowhere. By ‘us’ she meant ‘her and Dennis.’ Charlie and Mac were not going to college. Hell, they were lucky to have finished high school. Charlie fidgeted and grunted.
“Let’s not talk about the end of fucking summer, Dee,” Mac said. Dennis nodded in agreement and Dee shrugged.
“What do you losers want to talk about then?”
Everything shifted back into place then, Charlie bringing up the dead toad from earlier and talking about which amphibians he had eaten and which he has not yet tried, much to the horror and delight of the gang. Mac almost forgot about the way Dennis had looked hovering above him, lit by the fire. Almost.
-
The moon was high in the sky by the time the gang retreated to the tent to sleep. As they shuffled towards it Dee made some remark about it looking ugly, so Mac pushed her and she fell, grabbing the tent as she went, and sending it toppling to the ground with her.
“Goddammit Dee!” Dennis yelled.
“Mac pushed me!”
“You goddamn clumsy bird!”
Mac watched as Charlie ignored the yelling and crawled through the mess and lay inside the flattened tent.
“You know this isn’t so bad. This isn’t so bad. We could all just lay under here, like it’s one big sleeping bag, you know?”
“I’m not doing that,” Dee said, putting her nose up.
“Well then fix the fucking tent, Dee. Fix the fucking tent!” Charlie snapped.
They all tried putting it back up, but Dee’s fall had snapped the poll holding up the center of the tent. In the end they ended up holding up the center of it by balancing one of the broken shards on the cooler, which gave them about a foot and a half to work with in order to manoeuver around the tent and get comfortable. They organized themselves in an awkward circle around the center, Dee and Charlie head-to-head and Dennis and Mac head-to-head, so nobody had anybody’s feet in their face.
When they finally got comfortable, Mac felt himself grow dizzy. A part of him, the sensible part, told him that after hitting his head and blacking out, he needed to keep himself awake until he could get himself to a doctor at some point tomorrow. But he was exhausted from the day of swimming and drinking, and now he was high as shit and he didn’t think he was going to be able to do it. He had claimed the part of the tent with the opening, so he knew at least that if he needed to puke or something he could get out. But now that he was lying down he was pretty sure he needed to be sitting up or he might not wake up at all. This thought scared him into action, and he shuffled out of the tent into the cool night air.
He stretched his legs and arms and moved towards the fire, which was quickly burning out. Fuck, he thought. He moved towards the car, figuring that he could at least sit upright in there, and he knew Dennis had left the doors unlocked. He climbed into the front seat, sliding behind the wheel. It felt weird, being there. Dennis pretty much always drove. Dee had her own car, but she totalled it a few weeks ago and it was still in the shop. Charlie and Mac couldn’t afford a car, and neither of their parents let them borrow theirs. He brought his hands up to the wheel and let them rest there, imagining himself cruising down the highway, windows open and music blasting.
He was startled out of his reverie by a tap at the window.
He whipped his head around, heart racing and hands raised and poised to fight. Dennis’ blue eyes stared at him from outside the window.
“Fuck, dude. You scared the shit outta me,” Mac exclaimed, as Dennis opened the door.
“What are you doing?” Dennis asked, stifling a yawn. His hair was sticking up and Mac couldn’t help but stare at it. Dennis liked to look put together at all times, so it was strange to see his hair as it dried naturally, curls sticking up in awkward ringlets around his head. Mac wanted to reach out and pull one.
“I’m…” he started. He didn’t want to admit that his head was bothering him. Dennis cocked his head to the side and surveyed him.
“Is it your head? I told you, dude, we should have taken you to the goddamn hospital,”
“It’s fine! I’m fine. Just dizzy. Figure I should stay up though, just in case …”
Dennis nodded, mostly to himself, and then shut the door. Mac watched as he walked around the front of the car and opened the passenger side door, sliding in.
“So how are we going to keep you awake,” he asked, raising his eyebrows and winking. Mac floundered for a moment, opening his mouth to speak but finding no words. Dennis smiled and reached one of his hands towards him, and Mac thought his heart was about to burst out of his chest. Then Dennis slid his arm right past him, and pushed the keys that had been left in the ignition on. The car growled to a start. Dennis opened up the glove compartment and flicked through a small stack of cassettes he kept on hand. He picked one out of the pile and slipped it into the player, fiddling with the volume as some synthy 80s pop began to play.
“Alright, so music is distracting. Now what?” Dennis asked, genuinely.
“Uh, we could play a game?” Mac suggested.
“What game?”
Mac thought to himself for a minute. Most of the games he knew were drinking games. Or weird stuff Charlie always wanted to play with him, like Night Crawlers or seeing who could catch the stray cat outside his house first. He was coming up short.
“What about ‘Would You Rather’?” Dennis asked.
“Sure,” Mac nodded. This would be good enough. The gang played sometimes when they were bored, getting increasingly more and more insane with their questions and raising the stakes higher and higher as the game went on until someone finally broke down.
“I’ll start,” Dennis announced, “Would you rather…bang Fatty Magoo or get punched in the dick by Psycho Pete,”
“Dude, gross. Get punched in the dick, I guess…Would you rather have superhuman strength or the power of flight?”
“Uh…Flight,”
“What? Dude, superhuman strength is always the way to go,”
“But I could get super strong on my own. I’m never gonna be able to fly on my own, however. Flight wins,”
“I guess so, but tacking on mass isn’t-”
“Moving on. Would you rather kiss-“
“Dude why are your questions always sexual. Ask me something else,”
“Oh, I’m sorry Mac. Are you now in charge? Are you making the rules? I’ll ask whatever I goddamn want to, asshole. Just for that, would you rather kiss Dee or Charlie?”
“EW, bro! That’s disgusting,”
“Are you saying you’re too pussy to answer?”
Mac glared at Dennis, who flashed him a mocking grin.
“Ugh fine. I guess Charlie. Dee’s just too gross dude,” Mac said, pretending to gag. Dennis nodded his head sagely.
“She’s like a big gangly bird,” Dennis agreed.
“I can’t believe you asked me that. Don’t ever tell anyone my answer, bro. I’ll kick your fucking ass, I swear to god,” Mac said, trying to sound menacing. “Ok my turn. Would you rather kiss Charlie or me? Take that, asshole,” Mac said, sitting back and smiling to himself. Dennis won’t answer that, he thought, so he wins.
“You,”
Mac’s breath got caught in his throat.
“What?” he sputtered.
“You, man. I’d kiss you,”
Mac eyes bulged. He floundered to come up with a response, something to spitfire back at Dennis. Because obviously this was a joke, and Mac was just slow on the uptake, right? He tried to think of something, anything, cool to say.
“Why me?” he asked, instead. Dennis looked up at him now, eyebrows creased. Mac felt out of his depth, and he wanted to retract the question as soon as he said it.
“Out of you and Charlie? Of course I’d pick you,” he replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “Wouldn’t you pick me, between Charlie and me?”
Mac was finding it hard to breathe. He didn’t like where this conversation was going at all. And now Dennis was looking at him expectantly, like he couldn’t believe Mac was being this stupid. But Mac didn’t think he was being stupid. Mac felt like he was acting pretty rationally, all things considered.
“Uh…” he said dumbly. Dennis eyebrows raised now, irritation written on his face. Mac’s stomach felt like it was full of moths or something, fluttering around. He looked down at his hands and rubbed them, a nervous tic he couldn’t break.
“Oh my god, Mac. Are you saying you’d pick Charlie over me?”
“What? No!”
“Then what? Hm? Most of my minions would kill to kiss me. I am a god,”
Dennis was growing hostile now. Mac had noticed a while ago that when he started to talk like he took up residence on Mount Olympus, he was actually feeling insecure or trapped in some way. Mac felt ashamed of himself suddenly, for being the one to make Dennis feel like that.
“I’d…I’d kiss you, Dennis,” he said quietly. This seemed to appease Dennis, whose shoulders relaxed again, and he leaned back into the car seat.
“Well, obviously,” Dennis nodded. Mac shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It had felt weird to say it out loud, but Dennis was acting like it was no big deal. He always looked so neutral about this stuff and it made Mac angry. Didn’t he have any feelings? Mac clenched his jaw.
“Hey, Dennis?”
“Yeah?”
“Why’d you pick me, specifically?”
Dennis was quiet for a moment. The music seemed loud now, in the silence. Mac recognized this song from his many drives with Dennis. Something about something, head over heels. La la la la la. Mac wished the music was turned off. It was just making him more nervous, and now he was thinking he probably shouldn’t have asked that question. He was about to open his mouth and take it back but Dennis spoke first.
“I’m gonna try something, Mac,”
That wasn’t what Mac was expecting. He was even more irritated now, because he was actually brave for once and now Dennis wasn’t even going to honor it. Did Dennis not realize that it wasn’t easy for Mac to ask those types of questions?
“Whatever, bro,” he sighed.
Then Dennis kissed him.
It was a very brief pressure on Mac’s lips, and Dennis’ hand steadied itself on Mac’s thigh as he leaned towards him. His lips were soft against Mac’s, and Mac found himself too shocked to respond. Dennis broke the contact after a second or two. They stared at each other for a moment. Dennis was still so close to Mac, his breath ghosting across Mac’s mouth, his eyes wide open and searching. After a few frozen seconds Dennis’ face hardened and he made to pull away. Without letting himself think about it, Mac reached out his hand and pulled Dennis’ head back towards him, and into another kiss.
This one was deeper than the last, Mac slotting his lips against Dennis’, the way the girls he had kissed always did, taking charge when Mac didn’t know how. Dennis enthusiastically replied, moving the hand from his thigh up to grip Mac’s bicep, his other hand cupping the side of his face. Dennis opened his mouth to further deepen the kiss, tongue darting out experimentally. Mac felt hot all over, hands shaking against the back of his friend’s head. He couldn’t form a full thought, but Dennis was taking charge, sucking on Mac’s bottom lip and messily swiping his tongue across Mac’s mouth. Mac didn’t know what to do, but he knew he didn’t want it to stop, so he ran his hands up and down Dennis’ back. He opened his mouth and pressed his tongue experimentally against Dennis’. This made Dennis’ breath hitch, and the sound made Mac’s cheeks burn, heat starting to flow to his groin.
Dennis broke the kiss and began kissing and licking enthusiastically along Mac’s jaw, and Mac made a guttural sound in his throat that seemed to ignite Dennis. He lunged for Mac’s mouth again, wrapping his arms around Mac and practically crawling into his lap. He was relentless, sucking and licking Mac’s lips and biting his jaw. His enthusiasm made Mac feel more confident, and he wrapped his fingers into Dennis’ curls and tugged them gently. This made Dennis throw his head back and moan, so Mac did it again but harder, this time latching his mouth onto Dennis’ throat. Dennis was breathing heavily and whispering Mac’s name in between breaths, encouraging him to keep going.
Suddenly they heard something outside, a loud thud, and quickly broke apart. They stared at each other, wide eyed and panicked. Dennis’ hair was even messier than before, and his cheeks were tinged pink. His lips looked wet and puffy, and his neck was marked red. Mac figured he probably looked no better, and was hyper aware of the way his erection was pushing against his pants. Suddenly there was a knock on the driver’s side window, and the two jolted at the sudden noise. Mac tried to rearrange himself to best hide his lap, and in his peripheral he saw Dennis shuffling around as well. The door opened a second later and it was Dee standing on the other side.
“What are you two dickwads doing in here?”
“We’re…” Mac started. His eyes flicked towards the cassette player, which was still playing bad 80s music. “We’re listening to music,”
“At god knows what time in the morning? Why?” she asked, looking suspicious, eyes darting between her brother and Mac.
“What about you? Why are you up?” Dennis frowned, running his hands through his tousled hair.
“I have to pee,”
“Oh my god. Of course you do,”
“God, Dee, then go pee. I’m not surprised you have to go though, you didn’t get up once while we were swimming. It was surprisingly un-annoying of you. Until now,”
“Who says I wasn’t peeing all day?” Dee replied, a smug grin on her sleepy face.
“Oh goddammit Dee! That’s disgusting! You’re disgusting!” Mac yelled, and Dennis dragged his hands down his face.
Dee smirked as she turned to walk away, leaving the door open as she went. Mac’s lips were curling upward as he thought about all the water he had been swallowing all day. It definitely helped the boner situation in his pants, at least.
“I’m gonna kill her Dennis, I swear to god, I swallowed so much-”
“Hey-o!” came Charlie’s voice, as he approached the car. Dennis sighed audibly and Mac turned his head to look at him. They made eye contact for a brief moment, but Charlie was already at the door. “What are you guys doing in here? Listening to music? Why wasn’t I invited?” Charlie asked, eyes darting around the vehicle.
“Mac’s head still hurts. I was trying to keep him awake,”
“Oh. Bro, should we take you to the hospital? I mean that happened like a zillion years ago, I mean like, how is it still bothering you?”
“It happened like maybe eight hours ago, Charlie,”
Dee reappeared in the doorway and Mac was starting to feel dizzy again. He had no time with everyone around to process what had just happened between him and Dennis. His lips still buzzed, and he was surprised Charlie and Dee didn’t seem to notice the marks on Dennis’ neck, and their messy hair and rumpled clothes. It was making him anxious. Did this mean he was gay? Was Dennis gay? Are they still going to be friends? He wished everyone would just leave him alone so he could sit and think all this through, but everyone was already talking over each other again and he thought he was going to vomit. Actually he was pretty sure he was definitely going to vomit. He leapt out of the car and pushed past Dee and Charlie, immediately puking all over the ground. He used the side of the car to steady himself as he emptied his stomach. He could still hear everybody arguing over each other, once again about whether or not they should go to the hospital or not. At this point the sky had started to brighten fractionally, and everything outside was dyed in a dark blue. Mac felt like he was under water, drowning. His head swam as he tried to straighten himself up, but the nausea wouldn’t subside.
“You gonna be ok bro?” Charlie’s strained voice called out.
“Does he look ok, Charlie? I’m pretty sure he’s going to die,” Dee said, rolling her eyes.
“Jesus fucking Christ. Ok, as the most rational and coherent person here, I’ll make the call. And the call is that Mac needs to go to the goddamn hospital. Let’s pack everything up,” Dennis pronounced.
After that everybody started to gather all the shit they had left strewn around their camp. Everybody but Mac. Mac kept his hand steady on the side of the car, clutching his stomach and waiting for anything else to come up. He could hear everybody clanging around, carelessly chucking everything haphazardly into the back of the car. At some point Dennis walked over to him, and gingerly pressed his hand into Mac’s back.
“Let’s get you in the car, Mac,” he said, guiding him gently around the car to the passenger side. Mac was almost too dizzy to care about the way Dennis’ hand slid down his back as he ushered him into the car. Almost. Dennis got Mac seated and leaned across him to buckle the seatbelt, and that was definitely overkill, Mac thought. But he let him do it anyway. He looked shyly towards Dennis, whose eyes were focused on the seatbelt, which he was absently fiddling with.
“Den?” Mac said quietly. Dennis’ eyes shot up and he stilled his movements.
“Yeah, Mac?”
Mac bit his lip and looked down at his hands. He tried to find any words, anything to make sure everything was going to be ok between them. Dennis was his best friend. His blood brother. He didn’t want to lose that. What if Mac fucked up, and he was going to be kicked out of the gang? Dennis was looking at him expectantly.
“Uh, I’m-I’m just, I-” Mac stuttered.
“Mac. You have a concussion. And I was…I was really stoned. It doesn’t have to mean…It didn’t mean anything, we were just messing around,” Dennis stood still as he spoke, with his hands at his sides, face attempting neutrality. Mac wasn’t sure that it was the concussion or the high that made him do any of the stuff he did, but he nodded his head. Dennis nodded firmly back at him, and moved away, shutting the door behind him as quietly as he could.
-
The drive to the hospital was mostly quiet. Dee and Charlie fell back asleep in the back seat, both snoring loudly. Dennis left the music on and told Mac to keep focused on it, in order to stay awake. Outside the sun was beginning to rise, and the skyline was starting to glow pink. To break the silence Mac brought up college. Dennis happily filled the silence with an excited monologue on all the parties he would attend, all the people who would love him, all the girls, all the bros, all the classes he’d ace, all the professors who would respect and admire him. Mac let him keep talking, making sure to nod or “mhm” whenever necessary. Dennis’ grandiose voice calmed him, mostly because he was so familiar with these speeches. Most people would walk away before he even got started, but Mac would stick around and listen to Dennis wax poetic about himself. But he wasn’t excited that Dennis was going away for college. I mean it didn’t seem fair to Mac that Dennis and Dee got to go off and have nice lives after high school, while he and Charlie had to stick around Philly for the rest of their shitty lives. Mac figured he’d probably have to keep selling drugs and live with his mom. This future seemed sad, as he listened to Dennis talk and talk about his future as a handsome veterinarian. But even his anger at this was slight, and he couldn’t work up much aggression towards his friend. At least one of the gang was going to go on to something great, he reasoned.
Mac looked over at his friend, whose eyes were drooping with sleep, curls unruly and springing around his head. He drove steady and methodically, eyes on the road, but mouth moving rapidly and excitedly. Mac smiled to himself, and Dennis looked over.
“What?”
“Nothing,”
“What, Mac? Did something I say come across as funny? Take this seriously Mac, ok? How am I supposed to make any plans for the future if you don’t take any of this seriously, hm? You’ve got to uphold your end of the bargain. No getting thrown into prison while I’m gone, ok? No dying with Charlie in some stupid scheme. Then, when I get back we can move in together and-“
“Wait, move in together?” Mac started.
“Yeah, obviously. Pay attention Mac, for fuck’s sake. So when I get back and we get a place in the city-“
Mac couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face, so he turned his head to look out the window. Relief spread through him now that he realized that everything was fine. Everything was going to go back to normal. Or at least partly normal. There was still a thrumming tension between them. Right now he couldn’t stop thinking about the way Dennis’ lips had felt on his; it was a totally different feeling from all the times he had kissed girls. But that was ok…He’d just apologize to God or whatever and those thoughts would go away. He was just feeling this way right now because of the rock he had taken to the head, he reasoned. Dennis was right, it was just a random thing. Two bros fooling around. Things were fine. Things were good, even. I mean, he most definitely had a concussion. And the gang was still going to be split up for as long as the twins were at college. But he’d have Charlie. And now he knew he’d have Dennis as well.