Chapter Text
“Am I not good enough to help you? Aren’t we fighting together?”
Shin couldn’t stop replaying their argument. He hadn’t meant to raise his voice. He hadn’t meant to make her cry. Not only had he hurt her, he made her think that there was something wrong with her when he was the problem.
His thoughts were interrupted by an impatient knock on the door. He opened it to find Annette scowling with arms crossed. She pushed past him, not waiting for an invitation.
“What the hell did you say to Lena? She’s been in her room crying. All I got out of her is something about how she still isn’t good enough for you.”
Like before, he didn’t know what to say.
“I didn’t…”
Annette cut him off with a sharp gesture.
“I doubt you said that, or at least you better not have. But whatever you said sure hit the mark.”
She huffed and looked away.
“You should know the last two years haven’t been a vacation for her. The only thing that kept her going was the promise she made to you and that stupid picture of a pig in a dress she carries everywhere. She is terrified that you will look at her and see the Republic. Or weakness. She is terrified you will tell her she is useless.”
Her voice softened a fraction.
“Honestly, I haven’t seen her this wrecked since... Well. Let’s just say you couldn’t have picked a crueler method. “Next time, just use your gun. It’d be quicker.”
Annette left shortly after.
Shin didn’t remember sitting down. At some point, the bed was under him. The words echoed.
Next time, just use your gun.
He stood over a boy with silver hair and glasses.
Please, Shin…
He raised his gun.
The face shifted.
Long silver hair. Tear-bright eyes.
His finger tightened.
The sound was deafening.
He woke up in a cold sweat, heart pounding. Since talking to Annette, the same nightmare returned every night. Even with all the dead in his ears, he’d never dreamed like this before.
He rubbed his chest despite knowing the tension would only be released once he saw Lena. They hadn’t spoken outside of work in days, and he found himself constantly scanning for her presence when they were apart.
It was taking him more time than usual to find her this morning, and by the time he made it to the dining hall, his nerves were raw. Raiden and Theo set their trays down across from him, breaking his search.
“If you’re looking for Lena, she’s off somewhere with Prince Vika. I think I heard them say something about testing new equipment,” said Theo.
“Oh.”
“What’s up with you? Is this about your fight with Lena?”
“You know about that?”
“Kinda hard not to, man,” said Raiden. “You guys aren’t exactly subtle. Everyone can tell something is off.”
He never talked about this kind of thing. But today, he found himself looking for his friends.
“...I raised my voice. She thinks I don’t trust her.”
“...Well, duh,” said Theo, deadpan..
“...”
“Seriously, man? How would you feel if the person you spent two years trying to catch up to made you feel like that? You can tell just from looking at her she’s had it rough.”
“I didn’t mean to yell at her.”
Raiden could sympathize with Lena. He had been in her place a few months ago, before the operation to take down the Morpho. It was hard to know when to back off and let Shin figure it out on his own, or when he needed someone to interfere.
“I get that you were annoyed, but from her point of view, she had to get pushy. Whatever is going on, it’s affecting your ability on the field. There’s no way you should have taken that hit the other day. Think of what would happen if she let you go out there knowing you weren’t okay, and something happened. I don’t know if she could come back from that, not with how much she cares about you.
“Yeah. She may not be the same crybaby princess that she was, but if you died out there, I’m pretty sure the guilt would kill her.”
Shin didn’t say much after that, but his friends realized he needed time to think and gave him some space.
Shin heard her voice before he saw her.
Clear. Calm. Unmistakable.
The tension in his chest eased—only to tighten again when he realized she wasn’t alone.
Prince Vika stood beside her, posture relaxed, hands folded behind his back as if they were engaged in a casual exchange rather than anything worth overhearing. Lena stood facing him, shoulders squared, expression composed.
Shin stopped without thinking.
He reached out and caught Raiden and Theo by their sleeves, pulling them back behind the bulk of a scavenger unit. Neither protested. One look at his face was enough.
“…You alright?” Theo whispered.
Shin didn’t answer.
“I have been very impressed by your performance,” Vika was saying. “At first, I assumed your reputation was exaggerated. Rumors have a tendency to grow in the telling.”
Lena dipped her head. “You’re too generous.”
Shin’s hands tightened.
“That is demonstrably false,” Vika replied pleasantly. “You held the Eastern Front as the sole commander for over a week with insufficient manpower, no heavy support, and no consistent supply lines. I had believed such a feat impossible without a system like the Cicada—or without incurring unacceptable strain.”
He paused, studying her.
“Yet it seems the damage was minimal.”
Lena didn’t answer immediately.
“I wasn’t the only one responsible. The Eighty-Six answered my call. They fought until the end.”
“Yes,” Vika agreed. “But they did so under your command.”
Shin looked away.
“During the encounter with the Morpho, you analyzed the capabilities of a foreign unit in real time, anticipated the movements of Captain Nouzen—whose combat patterns are, by any objective standard, erratic—coordinated effective artillery support, and maintained synchronization with multiple Processors without loss of cohesion.”
Shin felt the words settle against him like a blade laid gently at his throat.
“There is no doubt,” Vika said calmly, “that Captain Nouzen would have been killed during the Morpho engagement without your intervention.”
Lena stiffened.
“I—”
“Do not argue,” Vika cut in, still smiling. “You have a habit of doing that when praised.”
Shin swallowed.
He knew this. He relied on it. Trusted it...taken it for granted.
And he had never once said it aloud.
“I would ask whether the Republic acknowledged your accomplishments,” Vika went on, “but by that point, we had already accessed your internal communications. I am aware that you were arrested shortly after.”
Lena’s shoulders tensed.
“That information—” she began.
“I did not share it with the Federacy,” Vika said lightly. “Treason charges are a sensitive matter. Particularly when they involve scheduled execution.”
Shin’s vision narrowed.
Execution.
Lena exhaled, slow and controlled. “Thank you. I would prefer my disciplinary record remain private.”
“Of course.” Vika’s eyes gleamed faintly. “Which brings me to a separate matter.”
She looked at him warily.
“Have you considered changing your citizenship?” he asked. “Marriage would be the most… elegant solution.”
“…Marriage?” Her voice was flat.
“I am quite serious,” Vika replied. “As a former noble of San Magnolia, surely the concept is not unfamiliar to you.”
“My mother tried to arrange a few. I wasn’t exactly willing...or what they wanted.”
Shin’s jaw tightened.
“Hard to imagine why,” Vika said. “You are intelligent, highly capable, and—objectively—attractive. At an age well suited for producing an heir.”
“Excuse me—” Lena protested, color rising to her cheeks.
Shin forced himself to breathe.
“And,” Vika added, “judging from your conduct the other evening, you possess the temperament required to survive high society. I was impressed by your restraint.”
Shin stiffened, the word catching his attention. Restraint? What had Vika done that made her need it? He watched Lena’s face, searching for a sign—annoyance, anger, anything—but her expression didn’t change. He found himself wishing he could ask her what really happened.
“You’re wrong. My temper was the reason I failed as a match. They wanted someone who’d quit working, raise kids, and play the perfect wife. Someone to be seen, not heard. That was never going to be me.” She smirked. ”If anything, my temper is even worse now.”
“Indeed.” He smiled. “Still, my offer stands. I cannot propose myself—I am already betrothed—but I could easily arrange a suitable match. I am not the only one who has noticed your capabilities.”
He paused.
“I would prefer, however, that you not mention this discussion to Captain Nouzen.”
Lena’s expression faltered.
“I’m not sure what Captain Nouzen has to do with any of this. But I doubt he cares about my personal life.”
Shin felt the words strike deeper than any accusation.
“As for your offer,” Lena continued, “I refuse. With the Republic gone, I don’t have to act like a noble anymore. If I get married, it will only be to someone I want with me at my final destination.”
Silence followed.
“…Very well,” Vika said at last. “As always, it has been a pleasure.”
He turned to leave, then added mildly, “I will have the device delivered to your quarters once modifications are complete.”
Lena wrinkled her nose. “There’s no way to change its appearance?”
“I’m afraid not. You may wish to order a larger uniform. I would hate to provoke Captain Nouzen.”
“I really don’t think he cares,” Lena replied.
She turned away.
Shin didn’t move.
That wasn’t true.
And the fact that she believed it—
—That was his fault.