Chapter Text
Another one of Ijin's quirks was that the boy could fall asleep at any time and under any circumstances. The behaviour was a result of his time at the camp and as a mercenary; he would take any sleep that he could get, anywhere that he could get it.
Ijin had spent a long time trying to fall asleep at the start of his time at the camp; when he was still terrified – shaking at every glance that was sent his way – and wondering if this day was going to be his last. He would lie awake at night, shivering (but not from the cold), flinching at every noise and he would barely get any sleep, leaving him exhausted in the morning. He quickly learned that he couldn’t keep that up. Ijin's exhaustion left him vulnerable during training; he was weaker because of it, his responses were slower and he was hungrier.
So Ijin had no choice but to force himself asleep, push aside his fear and sadness and sleep because it was the only way that he would stand a chance at surviving the camp. He learnt how to shut his mind off, how to meditate and fall asleep within a matter of minutes. It was a skill that everyone at the camp had mastered, all forced to do the same and under the same circumstances.
It was normal to walk through the camp and see people asleep sitting against a tree or on the benches; sleep was a luxury that couldn’t always be obtained during the night. It was the kind of sleep that was deep, but you woke up from it the minute someone got too close to you or when a sound was too loud or when your instincts simply told you to wake up and protect yourself.
When Ijin was with Major Kang and his men, they had similar sleeping habitats like he did; they understood that he wasn’t a normal teenager but a soldier, a mercenary. They didn’t find it weird that Ijin could fall asleep sitting down on the training grounds surrounded by loud drills or in the cafeteria, but be alert immediately after waking up.
When Ijin returned to Korea, it was different. Technically, he had no reason to be wary anymore; the threats were minor, including school bullies and enemies of his clients. But this was a habitat that Ijin just couldn’t shake, nor did he want to. It was very useful and one of the very few good things that happened as a result of his bloody childhood.
The men at SW were slightly more amused at his sleeping habits than the Major’s men. A lot of them were ex-military of some kind but were out of the force, and no longer had that ability. It was also why, even without revealing Ijin's past, some of the men cast him sympathetic glances. They knew that the circumstances that led to being able to sleep like that were ones of extreme psychological and physical stress, borne out of necessity from the environment around them.
Ijin appreciated that silent camaraderie, even though they would never fully understand what he was subject too, the torture, the pain and the grief that he now carried with him like a second shadow. They were men when they decided to enlist; Ijin was a boy stolen from his own grave.
It was different with Seokju than the rest of the men, both from SW and the soldiers under Major Kang. The other boy didn’t know the full depth of the torture that Ijin experienced, trying to finally succumb to sleep but being unable too. How days without sleep can steal the sanity from a persons mind, make them experience phantoms of the past and present. There were times that Ijin, still a small weak boy, thought that he saw his parents from his peripheral vision, and he would lurch towards them, only to stumble into another number.
So Ijin learnt. Now, it was simply another thing that he could do, such as using a gun.
Seokju was the one who was most impressed (and weirded out) by his skill. His boyfriend was used to his eccentricities that were a result of his upbringing, and would usually smile softly and take pictures of Ijin asleep in weird places. In a way, it helped Ijin to accept himself more. This was something that he could openly share with people without the overwhelming fear of judgement if he were to share the other, more damaged parts. It allowed Ijin to smile and laugh and live his new life.
There was a time in training when they were having a break, and Ijin had rested his head on Seokju's shoulder as they sat against the wall – Ijin accidentally fallen asleep – his body using this as an opportunity to rest as it still wasn’t used to the safety of sleep being a guarantee.
Seokju had only realised Ijin had fallen asleep when Ji-Ho started giggling at him and smacked Gyeong in the shoulder to look at them. That’s when Seokju carefully turned his head and saw that Ijin's eyes were closed and his breathing had evened out.
The boy turned an impressive shade of red – which had nothing to do with the physical exertion just minutes ago – and smiled into his hand. Gently, Seokju moved Ijin from his position on his bony shoulders to rest in his lap, reaching for his sweaty towel and placing it under Ijin's head.
A chorus of awww’s echoed throughout the gym and Seokju glared at them, the urge to swear at them nearly surpassing his professional limits and fear of repercussions. Ijin had woken up as soon as the team leader had announced that the break was over; the boy did it so quickly and was so alert that Seokju wondered if he had been sleeping in the first place.
And if Seokju asked for the photos that the others had taken of them, then that was his business.
Another notable instance was when they were in the SW gym, using some of the machines to get stronger. This was – surprisingly – one of the things that Seokju was better at than Ijin; Seokju was just that little bit smug that he was able to teach Ijin about the proper form when performing certain exercises with either the machines or free weights. Unfortunately, Seokju's smugness didn’t last too long when Ijin was able to max out a cable lateral raise or the shoulder press. Ijin's physique wasn’t as stocky as some of the other men but his raw strength was unparalleled. Seokju was also, unfortunately, quite turned on by his boyfriends display of strength. In his defence, wouldn’t be?
Seokju was coaching Ijin how to perform a seated row, telling him to utilise his back more than his arms in the pulling motion. He downed the rest of his 2L water bottle and watched as Ijin executed the reps. However, the 2L had caught up with him.
“I’ll be back in a minute, I need to take a piss. Go up to failure and then take a 3 minute break.” Ijin nodded at the instructions, concentrating on his row.
Sweat travelled down Ijin's shirt as he pulled the close grip attachment towards himself and he could feel his muscles beginning to tremble. On his 13th rep, he was barely able to pull the weight towards himself. He exhaled, determined to truly reach failure. The next rep was hell on earth; it took him 30 excruciating seconds to even get the weight half way towards his chest and in the end, he couldn’t finish it.
Ijin exhaled, fingers still curled around the attachment and arms stretched forward as he leaned backwards in his seat, chest heaving. Following Seokju's instructions, he was going to take 3 minutes rest before he was going to complete his last set. Ijin closed his eyes, breathing in deeply to relax himself.
Seokju returned from the toilets, expecting to find Ijin resting between his sets. Instead, Ijin was sitting very still in the extended position of the row, his muscles tensed, eyes closed and breathing coming out in even puffs, almost as if, Ijin was asleep. But that would be ridiculous, who would be able to fall asleep in between sets, with the blaring overhead LED lights of the gym and still holding tension as if he were to perform another rep.
But this was Ijin he was talking about.
Seokju walked around the bench to be able to look directly at Ijin's face and he waved his arm a few times in front of Ijin's face in an attempt to determine if he really was asleep. Ijin didn’t budge. Seokju took this as an opportunity to reach for his phone and take a few pictures, sending them to his group chat with his friends and with the SW team. Seokju chuckled at the responses that came flying in, mainly a flood of laughing emojis.
Putting his phone away, Seokju nudged Ijin awake; his eyes opened immediately and his demeanour betrayed no signs of being asleep in the first place.
“I assume you need another rest before you do another set?” Seokju joked.
“Oh,” Ijin glanced down at his arms, leaning forwards to finally put the weight down, “I didn’t realise I had fallen asleep.” His fingers stayed curled in wards, as if still gripping the attachment.
“You have lego hands now.” Seokju took Ijin's hands and gently straightened his fingers.
“Thank you.” After a moment of internal deliberation, Ijin asked the question. “What’s lego?”
Another time Ijin fell asleep when he shouldn’t have, was at team training. The team leader had decided that teams 2 and 3 should do a joint exercise that would simulate a situation where they had to from enemies as well as find their client. The teams were to take it in turns to hide and then look for each other.
“This is just glorified hide and seek.” Seokju whispered to Ijin, leaning in close to his ear.
“What’s hide and seek?” Ijin whispered back, eyebrow raised in question.
“Do you really not know?” Seokju exclaimed quietly, not trying to draw attention to themselves in the back row. Ijin just nodded, an innocent look in his eyes.
“It’s a game children play,” he started to explain, watching as a smile started to form on Ijin's face. “You little shit, you do know what it is.” Ijin chuckled quietly. He, indeed, did know what hide and seek was.
“Of course, it was part of the education that Major Kang gave me before I came back to my family. He also taught me what ‘tag’ is.” Ijin smiled proudly at his display of knowledge, not aware that Seokju's heart clenched at the thought of Ijin learning about normal everyday experiences at a military base because the other boy wasn’t able to experience it first hand.
The training exercise was taking place in an empty office building that they had rented; the exterior walls were comprised of large panels of glass, separated by metal frames and panels of cladding. The building had a simple floorplan; the shape of a rectangle with five floors stacked directly on top of the other. The building was separated into open plan desk spaces, kitchenettes, toilets, glass-walled meeting rooms – only a couple being fully opaque – armchairs and tables for lunch, a cafeteria on the ground floor and parking in the basement level. There were two sets of staircases that could be used, one on the east side and the other on the west with toilets located by them and elevators in the middle of the floor that separated the east and the west side from each other.
Ijin's team was the first to search and the second to hide; this gave Ijin a considerable advantage as he was able to scope out the best locations that he could hide in when he was searching. It could also be said that Seokju's team – who was first to hide and second to search – had the advantage of knowing the previous, more obvious places to hide.
Nonetheless, when the team leader blew the whistle that signified the 10 minutes of hiding time for his team, Ijin dashed down the staircase of the east staircase, making his way to the ground floor, before crossing the floor to the west staircase and running up the 4 flights of stairs to make it to the fourth floor. A precaution, in case someone saw him leave that way. He dashed to the small kitchenette which only contained a fridge, an array of recycling bins, a microwave, sink, dishwasher, cupboards and a hot water dispenser.
Ijin had spotted previously as a ‘seeker’, that above the sink was an electrical unit that rested on a small ledge of a wall sticking out as a platform. The unit was more than 2 meters off the floor and was fairly big, around 1.5 meters in length, a meter in height and half a meter in width. Ijin had spotted that all the kitchenettes had the unit, most likely to supply the hot water and other necessities for the kitchen. It was an older building without the newest technology which would no doubt be smaller and more efficient than the bulky unit. Behind, there were a couple of rigid pipes connected from a valve in the wall with some cables trailing between the wall and the unit.
There was just enough space for Ijin to fit in there.
He clambered onto the counterspace – careful to not knock his head on the cupboards – analysing the best way to get to his hiding spot; if he could grip the top of the cupboard and squeeze sideways in between them and the ledge, he should be able to do it. Carefully, Ijin stepped sideways, slotting into the space with great care to not slip into the sink, and faced the cupboard, reaching his fingers to curl around the edge of the cupboard.
The times when he had to scale cliffs with his legs tied together in training at camp were proving useful now as there was nowhere that could he rest his legs, nor was there room in the tight space. Ijin pulled himself up, keeping flat, until his upper body was above the cupboard and he could only see the wall that was above the cupboards. Breathing deeply, he tensed his muscles, transferring all his weight to his right arm and using his left to reach directly behind him and latch onto the edge of the unit. With great effort, he moved his right arm behind him as well and heaved himself further upwards. He was stuck in between the wall and the unit for a moment, catching his breath, before using his core strength to move his legs out of the tight space they were squeezed into so that they were free to move and hook onto the grooves in the unit. He untwisted his torso and changed his grip to be facing the unit and using the strength in his whole body, he heaved himself sideways onto the top of the unit, breathing out when it was done.
Ijin scooted over the side of the unit – mindful of the various cables and tubes – and sat behind the unit, completely obscured from view unless someone knew what they were looking for. He decided to make himself comfortable while he waited; the other team had an hour to find all of them so Ijin anticipated that they wouldn’t be able to find him quickly.
His thoughts drifted to when he was with Major Kang at the military base when he was still Jin, instead of Ijin. The moments that he spent with the Major and his men were some of the best times that he had in many years, a time when he was give hope in a hopeless world of blood and sand.
The Major was the closest person that Ijin could call a father figure; despite the Major only being 17 years older than himself, it didn’t stop the older man from calling Ijin ‘his kid’. Something warm would always bubble up in Ijin when he was referred to as the Major’s kid, even the other men in the army called Ijin that.
He felt a weird emotion when Ijin was around the older man, similar to how Ijin felt with grandpa, but in a way, he felt younger. Younger because he was with a man who Ijin could rely on to protect him, because Major Kang knew the burdens that Ijin had to carry throughout his childhood and could understand the pain that Ijin felt. But most of all, Major Kang was a man who had chosen to help Ijin, to see behind the shemagh and the rifle to notice the boy who only craved love.
Ijin closed his eyes, (shielding them from the harsh LEDs) happy to reminisce the happy memories that he spent with the man. Ijin was invited to an outing with the Major and his men while they were back in Korea, set for the next weekend, and Ijin was happy just thinking about it. His family and friends were growing and he couldn’t be happier; his relationship with the other numbers was also going well. He was no longer their leader but they still had a deep respect and connection for one another. They lived in different worlds but Ijin would always care about the rugged and damaged people that he grew up with.
“Ijin! Where are you?” He woke with a start, accidentally pulling on one of the cables that were behind the electrical unit (thankfully it wasn’t ripped out). His awareness flooded back to him as he listened to the shouts that were coming from somewhere on the west side of the floor.
“Come out! The training is over!” Gyeong shouted. Ijin glanced at his watch. Indeed, the training had ended over half an hour ago. He peered over the edge of the unit, noticing Gyeong and the team leader looking under the desks as if Ijin would miraculously appear under them.
Ijin carefully clambered back down to the floor, jumping gracefully from the counter to land on the dirty laminate flooring without a sound. He rounded the corner, announcing himself to the other men, needing to hide a small smirk when they jumped at the sound of Ijin's voice.
“Where were you hiding?” Team leader Park asked.
“In the kitchenette.” Ijin nodded in the direction of it.
“Where? We checked all places that you could hide.” Gyeong asked.
“I was behind the big unit above the sink. I’m surprised no one else thought of it.”
“That’s because there's no space!” Gyeong exclaimed.
“Yes, there is, I’ll show you.” Ijin walked back to the kitchenette with both of the men trailing after him. Ijin performed the same feat of strength again, effortlessly sliding into the seemingly too small gap and then back down again.
“You never fail to impress, kid.” The team leader huffed in amazement. “But why didn’t you come down when the training finished? We were starting to think something happened to you.”
“Oh, I,” Ijin fiddled with his fingers in front of him, “I accidently fell asleep. It wont happen again I promise.”
“Only you, Ijin, only you.” Gyeong chuckled at the embarrassed teenager.