Chapter Text
Introduction: Some years after the start of the Fourth Era, an expedition into ruined Vvardenfell uncovered a chest filled with a curious collection of "journals". These journals were written in the margins and empty spaces of texts chosen seemingly at random, and often notes and other pieces of paper were appropriated for the same purpose and then simply folded and inserted into one or the other of the texts. Occasionally, a note is added relating to the material of the original text itself, but that is rare. Most often, there appears no connection.
The first text to be appropriated for use as a journal is a copy of The Firmament by Ffoulke, although the back of a curious little note is also used, in addition to a few sheets of blank paper. The handwriting is neat and consists of uniform capital letters, although it's written in a curious gray ink.
16 LAST SEED, SE 427
RIGHT. SO WHERE DO I EVEN FUCKING START HERE?
OBVIOUSLY, I DON’T EVEN HAVE MY ACTUAL JOURNALS, OR I WOULDN’T BE WRITING THIS SHIT IN THE MARGINS OF A BOOK I SNAGGED OFF THE SHELVES OF THE EXCISE OFFICE IN SEYDA NEEN. “OH, WAIT, KARKAT,” I’D HEAR YOU ASK IF YOU FUCKING CARED, WHICH I’M SURE YOU DON’T, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN SEYDA NEEN?” WHILE I WOULD ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY LOVE TO GIVE A RATIONAL ANSWER FOR THAT, THE TRUTH IS TOO IDIOTIC TO QUALIFY AS ONE.
I WAS ARRESTED. AGAIN. AND NO, IT WASN’T MY FUCKING FAULT THIS TIME. I *WASN’T* THE ONE WHO STARTED THE BAR FIGHT. OKAY, SURE, MAYBE THE OTHER GUY OBJECTED TO BEING CALLED A DUNG-SNIFFER WHO’D SOONER BE MADE AN IMP’S BITCH THAN ACTUALLY HOLD HIS OWN AGAINST A GOBLIN SKIRMISHER, BUT IF THE SHITHEAD COULDN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH, HE HAD NO BUSINESS IN THE BLOATED FLOAT CARRYING ON LIKE SOME SORT OF ARENA CHAMPION WHEN YOU COULD TELL BY LOOKING AT HIM THAT HE BARELY KNEW HOW TO WALK IN ARMOR. THINGS GOT OUT OF HAND, AND BEFORE I COULD GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE THE CITY GUARD WAS RUSHING IN AND I FOUND MYSELF WAITING TO BE SLAPPED WITH THE USUAL IDIOTIC FINES BECAUSE TRIAL? I’M OBVIOUSLY GUILTY OF BEING POOR SO WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I GET A TRIAL? BUT INSTEAD OF THAT, NEXT THING I KNOW I’M BEING LOADED ONTO A SHIP WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION, LIKE I’M A PIECE OF FUCKING CARGO, AND SHIPPED OFF TO GODS ONLY KNOW WHERE. WELL, OBVIOUSLY, I KNOW NOW, BECAUSE I’M HERE, BUT HEY, IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN NICE TO HEAR SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BEFORE WE PULLED INTO PORT!
BUT THEN, MAYBE SOMEONE DID SAY SOMETHING, AND I MISSED IT. WHEN I WOKE UP, THE DAMNED SHIP WAS WRECKED. I MEAN, NOT WRECKED WRECKED, LIKE, IT HADN’T CRASHED OR SUNK OR WHATEVER SHIPS DO, BUT EVERYTHING INSIDE IT WAS TOSSED AROUND AND A LOT OF SHIT WAS BROKEN. ONE OF THE OTHER PRISONERS SAID THERE HAD BEEN A STORM ON THE WAY OVER AND THAT I SLEPT RIGHT THROUGH IT, WHICH IS… PRETTY DAMN WEIRD FOR ME, REALLY. I’VE ALWAYS BEEN A PRETTY FUCKING LIGHT SLEEPER, AND THAT’S ONLY WHEN I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF THE RIGHT KIND OF RESTORES TO AVOID IT. FUCK SLEEP, SHIT NEEDS TO GET DONE. BUT SOMEHOW I WAS COMPLETELY OUT FOR THE TRIP, OUT IN DREAMLAND, WHICH APPARENTLY CONSISTS OF SOME SORT OF WINDY, RAINY, ROCKY, RED WASTELAND AND SOME STRANGE CHICK SPEWING BULLSHIT SO INSANE I DON’T EVEN WANT TO POLLUTE MY JOURNAL WITH IT, AND KEEP IN MIND THAT I’M WRITING THIS SHIT IN A FUCKING ASTROLOGY BOOK. I THINK I’D HAVE TAKEN THE STORM OVER THAT NONSENSE.

ONCE WE PULLED IN I WAS TOLD TO REPORT TO SOME ASSHOLE IN THE EXCISE OFFICE, AND SINCE I DIDN’T HAVE MUCH CHOICE, I DID. HE HAD A BUNCH OF PAPERWORK HE WANTED ME TO FILL OUT FOR MY RELEASE (BECAUSE SURE, WHY THE FUCK SHOULDN’T THEY DRAG ME ALL THE WAY TO MORROWIND BEFORE LETTING ME GO), AND THEN HE ASKS ME WHAT MY STAR SIGN IS. SERIOUSLY? AM I FILLING OUT PAPERWORK HERE, OR IS THIS ASSHOLE HITTING ON ME? SO I TOLD HIM “WARRIOR,” AND HE JUST *LOOKED* AT ME AND ASKED ME, “NO, WHAT’S YOUR REAL STAR SIGN?” I SAID, “MOTHER FUCKER, I WAS BORN IN FUCKING LAST SEED. AS A MATTER OF FACT, TODAY’S MY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO ME! THAT MAKES ME A FUCKING WARRIOR.” HE ANSWERED, “YES, BUT WHAT YEAR?” SO FINALLY IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT I WASN’T NOT GETTING OUT OF THERE UNTIL I FESSED UP THAT NO, EVEN THOUGH I *SHOULD* HAVE BEEN BORN UNDER THE WARRIOR, THE FUCKING SNAKE STOLE THAT FROM ME, SO INSTEAD OF THE INSTINCT FOR COMBAT THAT MOST PEOPLE BORN IN LAST SEED GET, I’M STAR-CURSED. LUCKILY, AS A DUNMER, I HAVE INCREDIBLE BATTLE INSTINCTS, ANYWAY, BUT IT STILL PISSES ME OFF THAT I COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER, IF IT WASN’T FOR THE SERPENT. THE BOOK I’M WRITING THIS IN CLAIMS THAT PEOPLE BORN UNDER THE SERPENT ARE “THE MOST BLESSED AND THE MOST CURSED.” WELL, THEY GOT THAT HALF RIGHT, ANYWAY.

SO ONCE THAT SHIT WAS SETTLED (WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT SO IMPORTANT?) I WAS ORDERED TO GIVE MY RELEASE PAPERS TO THE TOP IMPERIAL GUARD OR EMISSARY OR WHATEVER, OVER IN THE NEXT BUILDING. HE TOOK THE PAPERWORK AND HANDED ME SOME DRAKES, A PACKAGE, AND A LETTER. THEN HE TOLD ME, “HERE, YOUR ORDERS ARE TO DELIVER THIS TO CAIUS COSADES IN BALMORA.” ORDERS? ORDERS? WHO’S FUCKING GIVING ME ORDERS? WHY THE FUCK AM I GETTING ORDERS? HERE I AM, PICKED UP AND DROPPED OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF A PROVINCE I’VE NEVER BEEN TO BEFORE, ALL WITHOUT SO MUCH AS AN EXPLANATION, AND NOW I’M BEING USED AS A MESSENGER BOY TO GET SOME PACKAGE TO SOME STRANGER IN A CITY I’VE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO? WHO THE FUCK COMES UP WITH THIS SHIT?
AND THAT’S WHEN HE DROPPED THE CATAPULT BOULDER ON ME: EMPEROR URIEL SEPTIM HIMSELF ARRANGED ALL THIS.
I JUST… I TOOK THE SHIT HE WAS HANDING ME AND LEFT, BECAUSE I CAN’T EVEN PROCESS THIS. I MEAN… I SERIOUSLY JUST DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO THINK. MAYBE THE GUY’S LOSING IT? HE’S KIND OF PRONE TO STRANGE SHIT LIKE THIS, BUT… I DON’T KNOW, HE’S MANAGED TO GET TAMRIEL AS CLOSE TO UNIFIED AS IT’S BEEN FOR AWHILE, AND THAT’S DESPITE THE DAMAGE DONE BY THARN (WAAAAY BEFORE MY TIME, BUT FROM WHAT I READ, HE REALLY MADE A MESS OF THINGS). FOR ME, IT WAS ALWAYS HARD ENOUGH JUST TRYING TO GET A FEW PEOPLE TO WORK TOGETHER FOR A SHORT TIME, AND THE EMPEROR MANAGES TO KEEP THE WHOLE *CONTINENT* IN LINE. MORE OR LESS.
THE THING IS… I ALWAYS KIND OF WANTED TO GO TO MORROWIND, ANYWAY. I MEAN, THAT’S MY HOMELAND, RIGHT? WELL, MY PEOPLE’S HOMELAND. MY ANCESTRAL HOMELAND. WHATEVER. EXCEPT NOW THAT I’M HERE, THE MOMENT I OPEN MY MOUTH AND THE LOCAL DUNMER HEAR MY IMPERIAL ACCENT, THEY GIVE ME A COLDER SHOULDER THAN THEY’RE GIVEN THE HUMANS. LIKE I FUCKING ASKED TO BE BORN IN CYRODIIL. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK MY PARENTS ARE, SO HOW THE FUCK IS THIS MY PROBLEM? BUNCH OF ASSHOLES.
SO I GUESS I’M GOING TO DO THIS THING BECAUSE… WHAT THE FUCK ELSE AM I GOING TO DO? I DON’T KNOW ANYONE HERE, AND COMING TO MY “HOMELAND” HAS LEFT ME FARTHER FROM HOME THAN EVER. IT LOOKS LIKE THE FUCKING HUMANS ARE THE ONLY ONES WILLING TO GIVE ME HALF A FAIR SHAKE, EVEN IF ITS THEIR FAULT I’M IN THIS MESS TO BEGIN WITH.
OF COURSE, GETTING THE SUPPLIES I NEEDED SO THAT I’M NOT ARMED WITH UTTER SHIT THE NEXT TIME I RUN INTO A RANDOM BANDIT OR WHATEVER HAS LEFT ME COMPLETELY BROKE, SO IT LOOKS LIKE I’M WALKING TO BALMORA. LUCKILY, LOOKS LIKE THE ROADS AROUND HERE ARE IN GOOD SHAPE, AND THERE ARE PLENTY OF SIGN POSTS UP TO KEEP ME POINTED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION, WHICH IS ALMOST KIND OF IMPRESSIVE WHEN YOU REALIZE THIS ISLAND WAS ONLY FORMALLY SETTLED, WHAT, A LITTLE OVER A DECADE AGO? SCORE ANOTHER ONE FOR IMPERIAL ORGANIZATION, I GUESS. I’LL ADD MORE WHEN I GET WHERE I’M GOING AND TALK TO THIS COSADES ASSHOLE.


