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The house was a mess, broken furniture and blood everywhere.
You nearly broke down at the doorframe, blood dripping from your wounds as you pant, taking in the scene and forcing your body to move.
Your search frantically for your babies, but the house is empty and dead quiet.
Collapsing onto the floor, your breathing hardens, tears pricking at your eyes, from sadness, from shame and guilt over not being here sooner, but most of all. Anger.
Anger, because how dare they lure you out into the forest, keeping you distracted with lowly hunters only to come in here and steal your babies away from you?
Nails digging into the blood soaked carpet, you slam your other fist into the ground, lips pulling back to reveal a snarl.
How dare they. How dare they.
The red blood splattered everywhere made it very clear that your poor babies fought against their kidnappers, bitting and clawing. You can only imagine the panic an fear that overcame them as they were taken, screaming and crying out for you.
Your blood is boiling in your veins and you somehow manage to pull your body back to your feet, teeth gritted as you stumble through the house, gathering whatever was necessary and needed before half heartedly stitching yourself up.
You'll hunt them down.
You'll find them.
And then you're going to kill every last one of the people involved in this.
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You've long since lost count of how many you've cut down in the near decade that followed.
Always on the move, you follow the man who you long since figured out was the one in charge of the people taking your kids.
A dirty rich man, fat with greed. A showman they call him, a genius, a man who perfected the art of entertainment.
It sickens you to hear these things from the townspeople of the villages and cities the circus made its way through.
To imagine that bastard took your children, forced them into costumes and put them on a stage for people to laugh at.
They travel fast, moving to another place just barely before you arrive at their location. They had you chasing them all through the country.
You're always left one step behind.
That is until today.
"Tell me."
The man in front of you is but a quivering, bloody mess after you dragged him into the old shed and bound him to the chair he's on.
"I don't know, I don't know." He repeats over and over again, spitting blood and nearly choking on it.
You don't believe him. Not this one.
No. He was a very close business partner of the circus, someone who funds them regularly, someone who visits and watches, someone who enjoys it.
You've long since stopped feeling any sort of pity for these people.
So you beat him. You cut and slice away at his skin, taking pleasure in his screams, making him pay for his involvement with that sick place.
He begs and pleads, crying out. "Please! Please let me go! I-I have a family! Ple-"
You kick him so hard that the chair topples over with him on it, your foot stomping onto his chest soon after, a deep frown on your face as you lean down.
"Your family." You repeat, biting back a smile of dark amusement.
You scoff. "I'm going to kill you." You state coldly.
"The only reason I haven't done so already is that you have information I want."
Raising your foot only to stomp back down, you grin at the sharp cracking of his ripcage.
He screams.
"You wanna know what I'm gonna do if you don't give me what I want?" You tilt your head.
"I'm going to find that family of yours and I'm going to tear them apart limb by limb, I'll make you watch as I gut your wife and your children, I'm going to kill them one by one and then you."
He gurgles as blood fills his throat, only just so being able to breath through it.
"So if you even remotely care for your family, you'll tell me what I fucking want to know!"
You might be losing your cool. Calm calm calm. You remind yourself to slow down, if he dies before he tells you anything, then you're back at zero.
This was too important to mess up. This was the breakthrough you've been waiting for all these years.
A raspy whisper leaves his lips and immediately you crouch down, pulling his head up by his hair. "Louder."
And then finally, he tells you the next planned locations for the circus.
You cant help the grin spreading over your face.
Fucking finally. "If you lied to me... I'll return for them." You give him a second to think, to tell you the truth in case he lied. But he seems truthful.
So you slit his throat and step away from the now limb body.
It's been a real pain in the ass to find anyone who could tell you their next travel locations.
That bastard kept his plans and schedules close to himself, trusting very few and making it incredible hard to follow and predict his next moves.
But you've got him now. Taking a horse from the towns stables, you'll be at the next location faster than their caravan for sure.
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You waited and prepared until one early morning, you spotted the towering tents just outside town, declaring the arrival of the circus.
If you could, you would've stormed in there right then and there to kill off everyone in sight and free your children.
But that would be irresponsible and a foolish move to make on your part.
You would not fail because of your eagerness. Years were spent just to get to this point, you would not fail.
So you staid close and observed. Watching the workers move about, putting everything up and getting ready for visitors, you learned their routines and habbits.
Days pass by until you feel confident enough with your plan to act.
Dropping from your perch on a nearby tree, you leave your hidding spot as soon as the moon stood high, the dark allowing you to move unnoticed between guards and tents.
Pulling a dagger from your hip, you use stealth and quiet to your advantage, easily slitting necks and hidding bodies of those blocking your path towards one of the smaller tents where you concluded your kids where being held at night.
Light was on inside of it, the entrance flaps left slightly open as you crouch in front of them, peeking in.
The tent was lined with cages of various sizes, some occupied by animals, but the biggest ones held the monstrous forms of your family.
You may only remember them as the small creatures and eventually human like children they were back then, but you would recognize them no matter what.
Anger brews inside of you as you fully get to take in how much they've grown and how much time you and them were robbed of by the hands of greedy men.
Your sweet Columbina was the only one not in her monster form or in a cage. Instead, she was kneeling there, shaken and scared as the two men in front of her talk about their independing fates.
The others are growling and snarling at their captors from behind thick bars, eyes wild and angry, only one of them quiet as he lays crumbled on the ground.
You briefly focus on Harlequin, the closest one who is clawing and slamming at the cages hinges, determined to get out.
Pulling the axe from its place on your back, your face morphs into a cold frown as you silently pull the fabric aside to enter silently.
"-Too dangerous."
"We leave them here to starve."
Coming up behind them, your blood boils and your instincts call to spill their blood as they talk about your dear children as if they were mindless beasts to be left to their faiths.
"This one's pretty tho."
"We'll keep her."
"She'll make us a pretty penny."
Their laughter is quickly cut off by your weapon making contact with the closest ones neck, almost taking his head off completely.
The other one stumbles back, eyes wide and full of terror as he watches his buddy crumble to the floor, gushing blood and soon rendered lifeless.
"I should drag this out, let you suffer just for the sake of it." You speak while kicking aside the body and out of your way.
The man stutters, barely getting out words in his shock and surprise at your appearance. He doesn't even think to fight back or scream to alarm anyone, not before your blade hits his stomache.
You step over his body, ignoring the way the tent had fallen to complete silence.
"You disgusting excuse of a man, how dare you speak of my daughter like that." You spit at him, pressing a boot into the open wound on his stomache.
"How dare you lay your filthy hands on her."
The axe comes down in a lethal strike, ending his life just as he finally finds his voice to scream.
Your shoulders heave with anger and adrenaline as you tear your gaze away from the now limb body.
Ignoring the unbelieving eyes of your daughter and her soft call of 'Papa?' you move past her, hurrying to open up the cages as more lights are lit outside, voices getting louder and closer.
Breaking open the locks one by one, you release the starving creatures inside, watching as they immediately head out, their disappearing forms soon followed by screams and yells as the sounds of flesh tearing reaches your ears.
You turn towards the last cage, confident that none of the humans outside stood a chance against four angry, starved monsters.
Opening the cage, you fall to your knees at Pierrots side, his golden eyes barely opening to look at you.
"What did they do to you...?" You put a hand to his side, taking in all the wounds and bruises covering him.
A drawn out whine from him has your attention back on his head. He whines, his heavy head coming to rest in you lap, gazing up at you as if you were an angel send to collect his soul.
You touch his forehead. "It's ok, i'm here now." Ripping away good chunks from your cloak, you use them to wrap up the bigger wounds in order to stop the bleeding.
Another person drops down next to you, pink and black filling the edge of your vision while you concentrate on Pierrot.
Columbina was looking at you with wide eyes still, not completely convinced of your realness until you turn to her.
Your hands come up to cup her face, a smile forming on your face as she blinks a few times and then leans into the touch, tears falling from her lashes.
"You're real, you're really here..." She mutters, barely holding back on her sobs.
"I'm here." You wrap her into a hug, rubbing her back and shushing her just like when she was little. Only that she wasn't very little anymore, she was just a bit taller than you now.
Finally coming to the conclusion that he is indeed not hallucinating his parent's presence in his pain caused delusions, Pierrot tries to get back up, his form twisting and convulsing as he tries to change into his human form.
Seperating from your daughter, you immediately push him back down. "No no, don't do that, sweetie." You rest your forehead against his, unable to stomache his painful cries.
"Don't. You're too hurt for that, just stay like this." He melts into a sad puddle on your lap, eyes barely open. "I have you now."
A shrill cry from outside has your head snapping towards the entrance, frowning as you recognize it as one of your babies.
Looking at Columbina, the girl wipes her tears and looks back at you with a nod, moving to take your place at Pierrots side, allowing you to get up and hurry outside, picking up the discarded axe on the way.
Pushing through the tents flaps, you ignore the carnage and destruction around as you scan the area.
Bodies everywhere, missing limbs and other chunks of flesh where the freed monsters had taken their fill from while tearing through the guards and staff members.
Just off to the edge of the circus grounds, you spotted Harlequin stunned from a knife to his shoulder while the ringleader was running away from him and towards the treeline.
Running towards the reptilian monster, your eyes never leave the fleeing man who you immediately recognized.
You don't stop running as you rear your arm back and use all of your strength to throw your axe.
He goes down just meters away from the treeline. Your axe hitting him right in the back, leaving him screaming and tumbling into the dirt.
Moving past Harlequin, you take your time walking up to the man. You know your weapon hit him deep enough to render him unable to move. The spine really is such an easy target.
Gripping the axes handle once you arrive at his side, you yank it back out, watching the blood gushing out like a broken dam.
You grab at his arms and forcefully turn him onto his back. You want him to look at you before he dies.
Smiling as recognition fills his eyes, you hum, letting your weapon drop to the ground.
"Isn't it so nice to finally meet you properly." You tilt your head, watching him gasp for words.
"You really are a slippery one, I have to give you that." You sigh. "It took me years to finally pin your location and catch up. Were these good years for you? Did you make good money on my childrens suffering?"
At this point, the area has returned to almost silence, the monstrous forms of your children gathering and circling around you two. Columbina and Pierrot had meanwhile managed their way outside, watching from back at the tents entrance while the girl encourages her injured brother to feed on a body.
He tries to speak, but you cut him off by pulling him up by his throat. "No. I don't want to hear a single word out of you, not even if it is to beg for mercy."
"You will not get that from me." Snarling, you meet his terrified eyes with your hateful ones. "You stole my children from me. You TOOK THEM FROM ME. You stole away their childhood and made them slaves for your show."
"And for what?" You force yourself to calm down. "For greed?"
Turning your head to the side, you consider the waiting and pacing creatures around you, taking in their now clearer eyes as they are no longer forced into a more animalistic mindset by their hunger.
Their maws hang open, teeth reflecting the moonlight above, glowing eyes tearing into the man in your grip.
You return your gaze to him. "Someone like you doesn't deserve the relief of mercy."
With your decision made, you throw him towards the awaiting teeth and claws of your children, watching with cold distain as they throw themself at him like a pack of feral wolfs.
Leaving them to take care of him, you return to Columbinas and Pierrots side. Having returned his strength enough to change forms, the red clown falls into your arms before you even fully reach them.
Taken aback by how tall he's grown, you return the hug, holding back from shedding tears. "Pierrot, my sweet sweet Pierrot." You breath with a smile as he curls his tall form over you, face nuzzling into your hair.
"Mama..." His voice is quiet, raspy from being unused.
You shush him gently, pulling back to get a proper look at his face. "You're so big... Look at you."
He preens at your words, smiling wide.
"You really came for us?" Sweet Columbina was at your side, arms wrapped around herself. Your heart breaks. "Of course I did." You shake your head in disbelieve, opening your arms for her.
While hugging her, you run a hand through her beautiful dark hair. "I never stopped looking for you, I never would've."
During your reunion, the frenzied sounds behind you slowly faded, quick footsteps approaching.
You barely had time to let go of Columbina in favor to turn around when a body already collides with yours, taking you down to the ground as arms wrap around you, trapping you into a long overdue embrace.
You sit there dazed for a moment before you return the hug with a smile.
Its Jester who against all odds had thrown himself at you as soon as he had returned to his human form. You hum softly, fingers moving through his hair just like you did with Columbina.
"Jester." You say, surprised that its him who embraced you this eagerly out of all them. His body shakes in your arms and you refrain from commenting on the tears you feel soaking into your shoulders.
"My sweet baby... Let me look at you."
You pull his face from your shoulder, thumps wiping away his tears. "You're so beautiful now." You smile, sadness overwhelming you as you are faced with the reality of everything. You didn't get the chance to watch them grow up.
His smile looks forced, trying to pull himself together and be the strong responsible one like he's done all these years, carrying the weight of everything on his shoulders and frequently asking himself what you would've done in his shoes when faced with any kind of hard decision.
Jester did his best to keep everyone alive and together in hopes of one day being strong enough to bring them back home, but faced with his parent now, who came all this way to safe them, he can't help but break down.
A hand touches your shoulder, Ticket Taker standing over the both of you, having observed the shift in your expression. "It's not your fault."
Tears roll down your cheeks after hearing that. Years were spent blaming yourself for not keeping them safe, not protecting them enough, not being strong enough.
"I'm so sorry..." Is all you manage to say in response.
The blue clad monster kneels down to you, wrapping an arm around his parent, quietly offering comfort while processing the last hour.
One by one they joined in, curling and wrapping around you.
Looking out over Jesters shoulder, you spot a certain green clown hesitating at the side, eyes on the ground. "Harle." You call softly.
He tenses, glancing at you while he fights his inner thoughts. Just thinking about what he would've done if you hadn't shown up, if he had managed to break out of his cage on his own... He doesn't think he deserves to join-
"Harlequin. Come here." Your voice has him snapping out of it and he cautiously steps closer, yelping when he's pulled down and into the group hug.
You close your eyes, content for the first time in years now that you have everything that's important to you right here.
Minutes pass without any words spoken aloud. A clawed finger trails over your cheek, causing you to open your eyes again.
Doctor is tracing the spots where your skin has gained the softest hint of wrinkles. "You're older." He observes quietly.
You smile wider, pushing his beak gently away from your face. "I'm not yet out of my prime." You tell him.
He looks unconvinced, worried even as he takes in the changes you've gone through since he last saw you.
Pierrot looks up, panic on his face as he looks at where your hair is beginning to show a few greyish strands. You are quick to calm him down with a kiss to his head.
"I'm not that old yet, calm down." You mutter into his silvery hair once you pulled the sad clown close.
"I'll figure something out." You ignore the doctors quiet mutterings about prolonging your lifespan and stuff, instead prepping Pierrots head with kisses.
Noticing Harlequins pouting, you pull him in next, squishing his face and giving him cheek and forehead kisses as he pretends to dislike them even tho he's getting red in the face.
"I missed you all so much..." You sigh, smiling as Columbina pushes between Harlequin and Pierrot for her turn of affection.
They all respond in similar words, keeping you in their middle and safe until the sun hints at rising once more.
Its Ticket Taker who seperates first, standing up and putting his hat back onto his head, looking out over the bloody scene surrounding them. "We should leave soon, there will be humans coming to investigate as the sun rises."
Jester is the second one to get up, pulling his head up from where it had been on your lap. "Yes, we need to go."
You follow, helping Pierrot up who's still a little shaky from his wounds, but mostly healed after having eaten.
They're all so much taller than you now, especially Pierrot and Doctor. Both tower over you like giants.
Still, it changes not your need to protect them, keep them safe and sound. They'll always be your children, no matter how big they may grow.
"Where will we go?" Sweet Columbina asks from beside you, holding onto your hand, looking at Jester and then at you.
The purple jester considers it before looking at you, as if waiting for you to answer that question, happy to let someone else take the reigns for once.
You take a breath, looking over the group and smiling, chest full of warmth you haven't felt in a while.
"Home."