Chapter Text
She already hated the place. It was cold and sterile, and it seemed devoid of emotion in a way that put her on edge—then again, everything made her on edge nowadays. It hadn’t always been this way. Before she had been happy, if not quiet, but always by her sisters' side. By Enid’s side, usually holding her hand. And holding Ajax’s too. Now she was alone with a whole new species that she seemed to be the only one of, and the only one she knew who felt the same way, who might have any advice, was her sisters’ ex situationship who tried to kill her sister.
Fuck her life.
“he’s usually silent most days—actually, to be honest, we got more emotion out of him by telling him you had come to visit than anything else,” she felt her eyebrow raise.
“Good emotion?” she asked warily, remembering just how sharp his Hyde claws were. The woman didn’t say anything. Great. Walking down the corridors, she glanced in the doors and was surprised to see people doing activities. She heard the woman chuckle.
“Didn’t expect this?” The woman asked her warmly, and she pursed her lips. No. She hadn’t. not with how cold and clinical the front of the building was. She settled on shrugging.
“I don’t know what I expected.” it was silent, and she found herself muttering, “I sure as hell didn’t expect to be asking my sisters’ ex for advice,” and felt the womans gaze snap over to her, curious. She didn’t say anything, and she wondered if the woman was judging her. She wondered if she deserved it. She knew Wednesday thought she did. “I had a,” she paused and decided to be honest. It wasn’t like she could lose anything else, at least, “open relationship last semester. A werewolf and a gorgon. I always made the joke, “A werewolf, a gorgon, and a witch walked into a bar,” to make them laugh,” she smiled wistfully. Fuck, did she miss those times. “I got bit by my —the wolf ex,” she stuttered over the words and felt the woman’s empathy. Fuck. “I didn’t want it. The bite, I mean. I had to sit in the bath and let my —the gorgon ex clean the bite so it didn’t get infected. I didn’t become a full wolf, but…” she trailed off, and saw a few of the residents looking her way. They probably had enhanced hearing. She noted that one of the security guards had been listening, too, even though he hadn’t stopped watching over a woman.
“It sounds terrifying,” the woman said at last, bringing her back to the present. They were outside of Tyler’s cell. She couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped, quickly wiping her eyes roughly and making sure no stray tears were on her face.
“Yeah, it was. I woke up alone with a bite mark, crusted over with blood on it and my senses dialed up to eleven. I wouldn’t recommend it,” she said the last part sarcastically, and the woman laughed softly. She put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently.
“As a fellow wolf, it does get easier. As a human who got bit and didn’t know what was going on—I’m sorry you had to go through that, sweetheart; you shouldn’t have had to.” she closed her eyes, trying not to cry as she bit her lip. She hummed, and the woman squeezed her shoulder once more. “he’s ready when you are. No rush, sweetheart; he’s got all day—literally.” She let out a wet laugh, and the woman smiled at her when she opened her eyes.
Once she was alone, she let out a long sigh, and smoothed down her shirt. It was red, no longer spelled black because Wednesday didn’t go near her. Too many variables, as you clearly have shown, came the words that Wednesday had said when she had lost control in front of her family. She had tried so hard and for what? For her exes to leave her, to make her go through this alone? For Wednesday of all people to abandon her when she’d have done anything for her? Screw them, she thought angrily, her claws slicing her palm open. She hissed. She forced herself to take a deep breath and watched as the claws retracted just enough that that they hadn’t buried themselves under her skin. Again.
She walked in before she could second-guess herself, something that had become second nature to her at this point. She ignored the fact that she could still feel the guard watching her. It was probably just a preventative measure, she thought, trying to stay calm. She looked around and wondered if she should have just checked herself into Willow Hill. It wasn’t as bad as she had thought worried it would be. “Admiring the view,” she let out a noise that was most definitely not a squeak and turned, seeing Tyler. He was shirtless. She felt her throat go dry. She was not doing this. She was not about to be attracted to someone. It always ended the same. She shrugged, as if she wasn’t bothered by him catching on.
“It isn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” she admitted. He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly. He looked like a puppy. A dangerous, homicidal puppy, she amended.
“what? Expected chains and electroshock,” he taunted her and she grit her teeth, the image of him in the straight jacket when he got taken away flashing through her mind.
“Yes,” he seemed taken aback, as if he hadn’t expected her to answer honestly. She wondered how he viewed her, wondered if he saw her as a villain despite her not having any part in what had gone down between him and Wednesday.
“so why are you here,” he said eventually, and she hesitated. It was one thing telling someone who didn’t know her, but Tyler knew her. He’d seen her on dates with Enid and Ajax, and he wasn’t dumb. He’d connect the dots: “Seriously,” he stressed, “I’m missing the sparring session that’s going on, so,” he trailed off, and she huffed, trying not to laugh. Of course he was worried about that. She rolled her shoulder, trying to bide her a few moments. It didn’t work.
“I needed advice,” she settled on, and she swore she heard someone laugh from outside. She decided she was imagining things. He raised an eyebrow at her, and she jut her chin defiantly, making him chuckle sarcastically.
“Say I believe you, why would you go to me?” You have your little trio, your little safety net,” she felt herself flinch before she could stop herself, and knew he had seen it if the way he leaned forward, suddenly interested, was any indication. “you have Wednesday. You have Thorpe,” he sneered the name, and she snorted before she could stop herself.
“yeah, no. I don’t. I mean, Wednesday is there, I guess. But,” how the fuck did she tell him? She decided bluntness was the way to go. “Enid bit me when we were having sex,” she stressed the last word, and he raised an eyebrow, smirking, making her scowl. “My inner thigh, you teenage boy,” he laughed.
“I am a teenage boy. Are you forgetting that,” she grit her teeth, and didn’t say anything. In truth, she’d tried to think of him as little as possible. She feigned indifference. Then decided to hell with it. She’d already lost her pride, or what was left of it anyway, when she made the decision to visit him. Holding back why she was here wasn’t getting her anywhere.
“How do you do it? Stay in control?” She asked him instead, hating that she even had to visit him. He seemed to know this, if the amusement in his eyes were anything to go by. He waited. Waited until she was tapping her foot, ready to leave, and she honestly thought he wouldn’t answer. Fine, she thought, with more resolve than should be possible in her condition, she’d find answers elsewhere. She turned and went to leave, and only then did he speak up. Of course he was testing her even now, she thought bitterly.
“You don’t. You lose control first, wholly and completely, and then rebuild yourself from there,” he paused, before smirking, “although I know how much Addams’ hate losing control, so that must really grind your gears, huh? Not what you wanted to hear, was it?” He taunted the girl who had clenched her jaw, as if that could stop her from attacking him.
“Do you always have to be such a prick,” she snapped at him, before she could even think of holding back her ire. The slow smile told her that was the reaction he’d been waiting for.
“You know. With how tightly your sister runs a ship, I thought it’d be her who snapped first —now I see I was wrong. I can’t wait to see what destruction you bring, little hybrid,” he cooed and she snarled, instinct overriding decorum, before turning and stalking out.
The guard was outside and was still standing where he had been when she had entered. “Meditation,” came from inside the cell, and she slowly turned back. He was toying with her. She knew it. She saw the guard shift, and could tell he knew it. And she hated it. Hated that it was so easy to rile her up. She walked back in, and there was something in his tone that was different. Or maybe there wasn’t, and she was just imagining it. “I’ve had to do a crap ton of meditation,” he repeated, his voice calmer than before, and she nodded. She got her notebook out and wrote it down.
“Thought that was bull, if I’m being honest,” she muttered as she wrote, and he huffed a laugh. The door wasn’t completely closed, and she saw amusement briefly dance through the guard’s eyes before he became closed off again. She turned to Tyler and stretched her neck from side to side, hearing the slightly crack. She saw the way he tried not to grimace and internally laughed. Of course. Of course that would be what he doesn’t like. Focus, she chided herself.
“So what? I sit in the lotus position and hum,” she really needed to stop being sarcastic, she thought to herself, but Tyler let out a bark of laughter, looking as if he surprised himself by doing so.
“No, that part is bullshit. You need to find whatever is making you lose control and work with it,” she blinked. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. Not attractive, not attractive, not attractive, she chanted in her head, “when I tried to lock the Hyde away, it made it worse. It would be like a ticking time bomb, I’d keep it in, and try and try to not explode and then someone said something minuscular and I’d be ready to tear their heads off. You saw the reports, none of the kills were clean. That was because I’d been holding back, trying to tame him myself instead of working with him.” She had continued to write. She sat down on the floor. He followed suit from behind the glass.
“I’m not a full wolf,” she admitted, and he nodded, like it didn’t shock him.
“you were a witch before, right?” she nodded, shocked that he remembered. He had seemed to be focused solely on Wednesday. She hadn’t thought she’d made his radar. “So you’ve what? Turned into a hybrid?” she nodded. Then paused,
“Kind of, I suppose. It’s the closest thing I could come to describe it, anyway. I don’t turn on the full moon, but if my senses were dialed up after the bite on a regular day, it’s basically torture on the full moon,” he winced.
She found it was easier than she thought to talk to him. She’d already seen his worst. Now he was seeing hers. Even playing field and all that.
“I snapped at Pugsley. It was the full moon. Everything was so god damn loud,” her voice broke, and she brought her knees up to her chest, not caring that he was openly staring at her. The guard was probably listening, but what did she have to lose, she thought bitterly, “he had on some sort of medieval knight costume, and I could hear every single chain link moving as he did over and over again,” even just the thought of it made her want to claw her eyes out, “he was so proud of it, showed it off. Said he’d made it himself. He turned and did a pose, and the metal clinked together and—” she stopped talking, wiped her eyes roughly, annoyed at herself for crying so easily and sniffled. “I snarled at him. Like. Really fucking loudly, and broke the glass with the volume of it. My father put his hand on my shoulder, and I hadn’t told them about the bite, so they didn’t know what was going on, and I slammed his hand off my shoulder and broke his hand. They decided to send me to Nevermore year-round after that, said it was because it was the best place for me to be with people like me, and I didn’t have the heart to tell them I had already searched—there’s never been any werewitches at Nevermore. I’m the first one.” she said the last part bitterly, and he put his hand through one of the holes in the glass and squeezed her knee. She hated that it brought a small but genuine smile to her face.
“If it makes it any better, Sabrina, I don’t think your wolf would have pink fur like hers if you transformed,” she laughed before she could stop herself, and he smirked.
“I’d forgotten you called me that,” she mused, and he chuckled, but didn’t say anything, and she lay down on the floor; the tiles had a nice cooling sensation, and she saw him mirror her. She wondered if he was doing it on purpose. If he was, it was working. This was the first time she had been properly calm since she had the damn bite. “And from what I researched, your wolf is more tied to who you are as a person, so you know, considering I’m changing completely, fuck knows what my wolf would look like.” She paused before smirking, turning her head slightly so she could face him. “But Weds would so have a pure black wolf.” He snorted and started laughing before he could stop himself, not bothering to try and lower the volume of his voice. She grinned, putting her hand through one of the holes in the glass, much like he had earlier, and let her fingers brush his, for once not worrying about hurting someone. Somehow she knew that he had the strength to match her. He didn’t move his hand.
“What did you mean by a sparring session?” she asked him after a while; the silence was a comfort for once, and he turned his head, confusion clear on his face, before he seemed to remember what he said.
“so for the ‘enhanced’ individuals here —which they literally mean supernatural's and just don’t want to call us that because, and I quote ‘it’s discriminatory’ —we have regular sparring sessions. Its Monday's, Thursday’s and Friday’s, and whoever wins the most sessions in the week gets to choose the dessert for the next week,” he explained and she let out a soft laugh.
“damn. I should have just checked myself into here,” he smirked at her before shaking his head.
“No, it works for me because the Hyde needs strict structure. Any deviation and it’s every man for himself. We found that out the hard way. You need some room to find out what works for you. This’d box you in here,” she hummed.
“What happened?” she questioned, and she saw something familiar: Anger. Whatever had happened had pissed him off so incandescently that he’d almost let the Hyde out. She brushed her fingers against his, hoping she wasn’t making a mistake, and watched as he came back to the present, taking a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter,” she murmured, because she thought that she might have an inkling about what it was that had made him rage. “Do you want me to leave? You may not win the most sessions, but you can still kick someone’s ass,” she offered, and he breathed out a strained laugh before nodding.
“you can come back Friday, if you like,” he seemed surprised that he offered but she wasn’t about to turn down help, so she gave him a small smile and nodded. He chuckled quietly, “Rowan,” he called out, and the guard came in. She swore he looked familiar. He was broad, 6’3”, and had blonde hair that reminded her of—
“anyway, I’ll leave you boys to it,” she said sharply, because she’d just realized who he reminded her of. Tyler glanced and nodded, not taking in her reaction, and for that she was grateful. She was near the door before Rowan spoke up,
“Anchoring yourself works. Clothing from someone you’re close to helps ground you.” She nodded, not trusting herself to say anything.
“Clothing,” She repeated when she was out, not really caring if the two males heard her or not: “Well, it isn’t going to be from Enid or Aj now.” She wrapped her arms around herself, starting on the long walk back to Nevermore. “I suppose Pugs is a choice, if he can stomach seeing me,” she said the last part bitterly, before sighing. Fuck. She was back at meditation before she could even give the clothing tip a chance.
She could ask her mother for something. She looked at the phone Weems had gifted her, telling her it was something they were trying for year-rounders so that if they got in danger they had a way of getting help no matter where they were. She rang her mother before she could stop herself. It picked up on the second ring. “mi estrella, sweetheart, what can I do for you,” her mother’s tone was warm, despite everything, and she hated it. Hated that she didn’t hate her. She’d hurt her father. Surely she should be mad at her.
“I went to someone for help,” she decided telling her, deciding that she wasn’t about to tell her mother it was Wednesday’s almost ex that helped her, “they said that clothing from people I’m close to may help ground me. I was wondering if maybe you had any of your jackets that may have your father’s scent on,” she heard her mother inhale slightly, almost as if she was surprised that Elara had asked for help. So was she, but she didn’t have any choice. Not if she didn’t want to hurt anyone else.
“Of course, mi estrella, I can send a few over.” a pause, and then some shuffling about, "Would you like a few of your father’s shirts,” she had heard her father tell her mother to ask, and was glad she did. She hummed,
“Yes, please, Mother. I wouldn’t be averse to the coloured ones,” she knew her mother had heard what went unsaid. Luckily, she didn’t say anything. She heard her father ask something too low for her to pick up, and she wondered whether she wanted to know what was said or if it was better that she not know.
“Your father wants to know if you want any of Pugsley’s scarves, sweetheart,” she felt her heart clench, and she let out a ragged breath, not having the energy to hide her reaction from her mother. “mi estrella, Pugsley doesn’t—” she cut her mother off,
“the scarves would be wonderful. I have to go. I need to get back to Nevermore before dinner starts. Love you. Bye,” she rushed it all out and hung up before her mother could say anything. She sank onto the bench, let out a sob, and shoved the phone into her pocket. She didn’t know how long she had sat there. Countless people had gone past her, going about their daily lives, before she took a shaky breath.
When she finally arrived at Nevermore, Yoko was waiting for her. If the vampire could tell that she had been crying, she didn’t say anything. She held out a sandwich that was wrapped in tinfoil. “BLT, warmed up. I know that’s how you like it,” she saw the question in her eyes and sighed, shoving the sandwich into Elara’s hands, walking. Elara hesitantly followed. Yoko had always slightly unnerved her for the simple reason that she didn’t know her as well as the others in the group. “Ajax told me.” she stopped moving. Yoko turned immediately and grimaced at whatever expression was on her face. “A few months ago, when the whole investigation was going down, and you got sick, he wanted to stay with you.” He didn’t, though, did he? She wanted to point out. She could tell it showed on her face regardless, “As it was, he went with Xavier, Wednesday and—” she cut herself off, but it was too late. Elara knew what name she was going to say.
Enid.
She nodded once, clutching the sandwich a little harder than necessary. “Thank you,” her tone was flat. She had a habit of doing that—emulating Wednesday's tone when things got too much. “It means a lot that you got it for me. I’m going to take it to my dormitory and eat alone,” the vampire opened her mouth, ready to say something, and then shut it, nodding. Elara strode past her, trying not to let anyone see her hands shake.
Alone seemed to be safer these days, she decided, as she sank down onto the beanbag. Alone meant that she couldn’t hurt anyone.
Or get hurt.