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The last thing on earth that Athena had expected after getting a phone call from chimney about how buck had found himself in a difficult situation,struggling with an opioid addiction , and would need all of his family’s support to get through it, was her dead husband standing at the doorstep of her new house.
Very clearly alive.
“Athena!” Bobby exclaimed clearly excited to see her. He stepped into her house. “Thank god I finally got the right address. I went to our old house and the said you had sold it and then it took me forever to track down your new address. Nobody would give me any information on you and kept looking—“
“BOBBY!” Athena yelled cutting him off from his rambling. He looked over at her. “You’re dead. You’re dead. This has to be a dream.”
“I’m…not dead.” Bobby replied.
“I have to be hallucinating—probably all the stress of everything…Harry becoming a fire fighter and buck—“
“Harry became a firefighter? What’s going on with buck?”
“Yeah he became a firefighter.” Athena smiled. “Wait—I need to stop. I can’t talk to a hallucination again.”
“I’m not a hallucination.” Bobby told her taking a step closer. Athena took a step back getting emotional.
“B-Bobby I love you. I love you with everything I have but I need you to leave. I’m—I can’t do this again. Please.”
“Athena…do what again?”
“Fall apart! Hallucinate you again!”
“You aren’t hallucinating!” Bobby yelled. “Look I know almost a year apart was a lot but I thought you would’ve been excited to see me, especially after the last conversation we had face to face.”
Athena turned away from Bobby and started pacing back and forth. Bobby could hear her mumbling about how this couldn’t happen again, how was this happening, and why on earth did it have to be now.
He could clearly tell that she was spiraling and the only thing he could think of to do was step forward and pinch her.
“Ow!” Athena yelped and turned around to point a finger at Bobby, “What in the hell was that f—“ The words died off in her throat. He pinched her and it hurt. He pinched her. And it hurt. “You’re not a hallucination.” The second the words left her mouth she crumbled.
Legs giving out beneath her and a sob breaking from the depths of her. Bobby caught her in an instant, and lowered to the ground with her. Painful wracks left her body as he swayed them back and forth whispering nothing but reassurance to her.
Once her tears had finally settled and she was allowed a steady breath around was when all of the questions and explanations came. From both of them. Bobby was just as confused as she was.
They went on to explain the last year of their life. Athena had explained that he had died and her world had cracked right down the middle. Her sense of self had been broken. Who she was and what she did things for had splintered without her light to guide her home. She shared how their house haunted her and was too triggering. That she’d taken up training for a little. Shared updates on May. Told him that Harry had dropped out of high school and worked at a coffee shop for a little until ultimately pursuing being a firefighter. She even shared the news she’d just learned about buck.
Bobby was devastated to hear about Buck but then quickly dived into his own story. They would circle back to buck, because he too was worried for him. He went on to tell her that after they had their last conversation that he had went and prayed, prayed for them, for her, and then his mind went hazy and the next thing he remembered was waking up in a empty hospital room. He told her that he had tried to leave, asked for a phone to call you, and they had refused. Told him that you had known and were being send updates regularly. Shared that he had asked about going home and that he was told it was unsafe that being exposed to the virus and surviving without medication was dangerous. He told her that he was told he wasn’t allowed to see her for a year at least but that he could send her letters. Letters he thought she, and everyone else, had been getting the entire time.
By the end of the conversation only one thing was clear.
The FBI had robbed them.
They had robbed them a year of their lives and it seemed like for no apparent reason.
Learning to accept that reality and move on for the time being was easy, there were other things more important. Learning how to move on from there was the hard part.
Do they tell everyone now? Do they tell buck?
After a long and hard conversation they had settled on telling everyone but buck. Athena was unaware of how much his “death” had affected them but especially buck and his upset he’d be at finding out they’d kept this from him. Bobby wasn’t either. He knew how much he meant to buck but he also knew the unfortunate ways that addiction worked. How easily a relapse could happen, especially at the beginning of recovery. He put himself in bucks shoes. If he had found out someone he’d been mourning for the last year had been alive the entire time, it would send him spiraling, and he’d seek out pills. He thought about how everything he knew would crack and he’d crave nothing. Crave something only pills could give him, numbness.
So that’s how Athena found herself sitting in bucks living room silently reading a book as he slept. Contemplating when she’d tell him about bobby, because she felt it was her responsibility, and exactly when. Now wasn’t the time but she clearly could wait that l—thoughts were interrupted by a groan.
Athena looked up and was met with buck walking towards her.
“Hey, you’re up.”
“Hey.” He replied. “Uh yeah, how long was I out for?” Buck asked.
“Well, you were asleep when I got here and that was about five hours ago.”
“Look. I-I’m— I’m sorry.”
Her heart clenched. “No. Don’t be.” She told him. “You must’ve needed it.”
“No, I mean…uh I’m sorry about this, the anniversary,” he explained. “I’m sure the last thing you wanna be doing today is babysitting me.” Athena’s heart starts to crack at that.
“We take care of each other.” She told him reaching out one of her hands. He quickly grasps it. “Everyday. So being right here is exactly where I’m supposed to be. Exactly where I want to be.”
He smiled at that. “You know, he’s, uh…been on my mind these past days—“ he starts to say and Athena’s heart starts to splinter.
She knows where he’s going and she can’t have him going down that path. Not when he’s alive. Not when he’s right across the street.
“Buck—“
“And I know this is a weird thing to say but I feel like I know him in a way i didn’t—“
“Buck I have to stop you-“
“In a way i didn’t a y—“ Buck stops immediately. “Stop me?—Athena…I’m—“ he immediately gets regretfully. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think about how insensitive that would be to—“
“It’s not that, buck.”
“It’s okay if it was, Athena.”
“I know.” She replied. “But it isn’t.”
“Then what is it?” Buck asked.
Athena couldn’t do it anymore. He deserved to know. He deserved to know now. “He’s not dead.”
“He’s not dead. Bobby’s not dead?” Buck asked. “What do you mean he’s not dead. I mean I know I’m coming off of opioids and withdrawals and everything but I don’t remember them talking about—“
“It was the fbi. They’ve kept it a secret.”
“He’s really alive?”
“He is.” She said softly.
“I…I want to talk to him.”
“I don’t think that’s the best thing buck.”
“It is the best thing.” He declared fiercely. “The worst thing has been this last year without him. Going through this addiction without his support.”
“You should —“
“Where is he.” Buck demanded. “Is he at your house?”
“He’s outside.” The second those words left her mouth buck bolted.
Up out of his seat and straight to the door.
Bobby having been outside every time that Athena came watched as the door was yanked open and someone run out of it.
By the time buck got the end of his driveway, across the street from Bobby, he was already out of his car.
“B-Bobby it’s—it’s actually you.” Buck said coming to a complete halt. Tears brimming his eyes. Lump lodged in his throat. Emotions overtaking him. “I—I…I thought you died. I saw you die. I saw your body. You died. You were dead. How…how—how is this—you were dea—“
Bobby takes a few careful steps closer but doesn’t close the gap yet. “I know, buck. It was the FBI. They lied to everyone. To you, to me.”
“You’re actually alive.”
“Yeah, kid.”
Buck crashes into Bobby. Actually physically crashes into him. Once realization fully settled in for him he bolted again not realizing how close they actually were.
They tumbled for a few seconds before Bobby steadies them and pulls buck into his embrace even tighter.
He starts to cry. “I’ve got you, buck. I’ve got you, kid. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
Buck pulls away and just looks Bobby. Still crying. Still partly in disbelief that he’s here. Alive. “I’m—I’m so sorry, Bobby.” He sobbed. “I’m sorry for all of it. For—for getting addicted and —“
“Shhh.” Bobby said pulling buck back into him. “It’s okay, buck.” Just as he did with Athena a few nights ago he starts to lightly sway them. He’s almost cradling him like a child right now. “It’s not your fault buck.”
“But—“
“It’s not your fault.” He said again. This time more seriously.
Eventually they make their way into the house and now all of them are sitting together in bucks living room catching up.
“You know…I was telling Athena this.” Buck starts off. “I know this might be weird to say but I feel like I’ve felt closer to you in the past few days than I ever had before. I feel like I know you in a different way, one I didn’t a year ago.”
This time it’s Bobby who reaches his hand out for buck. Squeezing it. “I love you, kid” Bobby tells him softly, “but this is something i wish would’ve stayed a secret. I wish I could’ve protected you from this.” He said getting emotional. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t.”
“I know.” Buck responded solemnly, “but if it makes you feel any better knowing that I have somebody to talk to that knows exactly what it’s like…knows that we know it’s not good for us but hard to let go of, knows how hard it is from experience, helps me. It helps me believe I can get through this.”
Buck eventually find his way back to his bed after Bobby repeatedly promises him that it’s not a dream and that when he woke up he’d still be here.
When he woke up a few hours later to an empty bedroom his stomach dropped. He quickly got out of bed, ignoring the slight nausea that came with the sudden motion, and made his way to his living room. Also empty. His stomach dropped even more, emotions swelling up in his throat. He knew it. He knew it. It was too good to be true.
The one thing that would’ve helped the most. Given him the most courage to get through this.
His biggest advocate. The best cheerleader had all been a dream.
The one person who could’ve kept him steady on his feet during this was still gone. How could he have been so stupid to— the panic stops as he hears a laugh. Bobby’s laugh.
He heard his laugh. A real laugh. Not a dream laugh. Not a hallucination. A real laugh.
His laugh.
He glances up and sees through his window that leads into the backyard everyone sitting around his fire place.
All of his family are here.
His people.
Eddie, Ravi, Hen, Chim, Harry, May, Athena, and Bobby.
He makes his way through his living room and outside slowly. They’re talking about something together. Big smiles and laughter overtaking majority of them.
He wants to savor this moment. Commit this memory in his brain. Commit seeing them all together. Happy and smiling.
He can’t remember the last time he seen all of them this happy.
He doesn’t want to forget it.
He also doesn’t want to miss out on it for any longer so he doesn’t take too long to get out there.
Maddie’s the first one to notice him. Of course she is. She’s Maddie.
“Feeling better?”
“Yeah.” He said as he went to sit between Bobby and hen. “Yeah, I am. I really think I’m through the worst of it.”
Maddie smiles at him. The one where her eyes softened and she just gives that look. The look he never got from his parents. The one that tells him she’s proud of him and loves him through everything, despite of everything.
He looks around and realizes it’s a look he’s actually getting from all of them. It makes his breath a little unsteady, his heart a little fast, and his emotions a little rocky. It feels overwhelming in the best way to look around and see all of the people who love him. It’s nice to see the family he’s built. The one that may not have come from dna but love him all the same. The one that will support him through anything. Love him despite his mess ups and mistakes.
The ones that will love him through it. Through this and anything else. “Thank you.” Buck said suddenly.
After he had told them he felt like he had gotten through the worst of it he’d gone quiet and conversation had continued on.
It had now fallen silent. “I know this was the last thing any of you expected to happen. I know dropping almost everything to come and help me wasn’t easy.” He continues, “you’ve all have jobs and families that require your attention and the fact that you so quickly and easily dropped it all for me…it means more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for loving me through this. I know it’s not easy. I know I’m not easy so—“
“You’ll never have to thank us for this, buck.” Hen said as she leaned her head on his shoulder. “This is your family.”
“There’s no where else we’d rather be.” May added.
“Easiest decision I’ve ever made” Ravi and Harry both said.
“Thank you for being, buck.” Eddie added. He was Christopher’s buck and his best friend. There was no where else on the planet that he’d rather be than between buck and his own self.
That’s where all of them wanted to be. The only place they ever wanted to be was between buck and whatever was trying to keep him from being the best version he could be.
“I’m going to make it through this.” Buck told them confidently. “I’m going to make it through this because I want to. I don’t want to be someone who loses themselves piece by piece, who’s erratic, grumpy, and takes their anger out on others…I don’t want to be lost. I’m going to get through this because I want to be the buck that you all love. The version of myself that I love the most…and part of that is because all of you.”
“It’s all you, buck.” Chim replies.
“No. It’s us.” He responded. “Before today, before I came to you, I had no idea what had happened to my life or how I was going to get back to me. I had no confidence that I could even get back to it…that I could find myself again but you’ve all given me the courage to keep going. To keep fighting. This family is what has kept me going these past few years. You are what keeps me alive and not because I’m living for you. I’m living for myself but you all make a life that I want to be apart of. A life that I’d rather fight through, earth quake, leg crushed, tsunami, lawsuit, lightning strike, addiction, and all, than be with you all. You’ve all given me the reason to live. Time and time again.”
“And you’ve done the same for us, buck.” Athena replied.
“Buck, you may not see it, but you’ve saved me more times than you will ever know.” Bobby told him. Tears ready to spill. “You healed a part of me that I was convinced I’d never heal. You gave a piece of myself back to me that I was long convinced I’d never get back. You never have to thank us, but specifically me, for that. Thank you for being you, kid.”
A sound that can only be described as emotional overwhelmness leaves bucks mouth. They all really love him and his brain breaks at it.
He’s known they loved him for a while. Known they’ve supported him.
He’s known this all along. He knows they’d support and love him through anything.
They’re his family. The family that matters more than the one he was born into but to hear it put like that, so easily, so carefree and fully, was overwhelming.
It makes it in a way that he couldn’t help but smile and laugh along to the stories being told even as he feels slightly nauseous or felt like he still didn’t exactly know where his life went from here or how.
All he knows is that it didn’t end when he told Chim and that he would get somewhere because he has them.
The only support he’s ever needed was exactly where he needed them. No questions asked.