Work Text:
The rec room was a bustle of noise and excited chatter. They had just been victorious over the Decepticons in yet another battle and the Autobots were making the most of it.
"And you should have seen him, Skywarp didn't know what hit him," Sideswipe exclaimed, playfully nudging his brother who was remaining modestly silent.
Sunstreaker for his part was content to just sit with Prowl, his arm draped casually around his waist. It had taken many Earth months for Prowl to be comfortable with even small displays of affection that Sunstreaker was going to make the most of it.
"Yes well remind me to just send you two out on the field next time," Prowl replied dryly, receiving matching smirks from both the twins.
"Can't argue with results," Sideswipe laughed, gulping down some more energon.
"How will you two cope when the war's over?" Bumblebee laughed. His question was mostly rhetoric but Sunstreaker answered without thinking.
"Didn't see myself seeing the end of the war, figured I'd be dead long before then," he shrugged nonchalantly.
Sideswipe gave a nod of agreement. "Though it won't be from lack of trying," he threw Bumblebee a grin.
"You don't think you'll survive the war?" Prowl asked, his gaze intently fixed on Sunstreaker.
"Well no, front liners are expendable everyone knows that, Prowl," Sunstreaker replied, failing to notice how everyone, even Sideswipe had fallen quiet around their table. "Peace time isn't for mechs like us, all we've got is our fight," he offered Prowl a small smile, it faded instantly when Prowl's impassive expression didn't change.
"So you have nothing to live for and think you're expendable?"
"Sunny, shut up..." Sideswipe urged with a hiss.
"Well... I... uh..." Sunstreaker held Prowl's gaze not entirely sure what he'd said wrong but Prowl's face had changed from impassive to glaring at him coldly. "Yeah....?"
Prowl gave a curt nod and pushed up from the table.
"Wait, Prowl... what is it, why are you leaving?" Sunstreaker frowned in a mixture of annoyance and confusion. Prowl never got angry, ever. Irritated sure but angry with him, no and Sunstreaker didn't for the life of him know what he'd done.
"I'm sure you would rather not spend your time with the mech you think considers you expendable and who you definitely don't think has any sort of future with you," Prowl retorted, his tone acerbic as he tugged his arm free of Sunstreaker's grasp. "If you will excuse me," he glanced at the others who all steadfastly avoided his gaze, before marching briskly from the rec room, his doorwings held high.
"Wow, he even flounces out of a room politely," Bumblebee mumbled, dropping his optics to his cube at the resulting dark glare from Sunstreaker.
"You're such a glitch, Sunny," Sideswipe shook his helm.
"What the frag did I do?" Sunstreaker growled in irritation.
"Oh I don't know," Ironhide drawled from the corner with a smirk, having listened to the whole exchange. "Decided to share a berth with the one mech whose job it is to keep stupid afts like you lot alive on the battle field or tell him you don't have anything to live for after you decided to share his berth?" Ironhide gave him a knowing smile, "you decide which is more relevant."
Sunstreaker shrank into his seat and dimmed his optics. Him and his stupid mouth. "Frag," he growled and barreled out of the rec room after Prowl.
Ironhide shook his helm, supping at his cube. "That's gonna be a fight I'd pay to see."
****
Prowl ignored the insistent pings of his office door and glared at the datapads piling up on his desk. Datapads that he would have been working on had he not been socialising in the rec room at Sunstreaker's request.
"Prowl let me in," Sunstreaker called through the door.
Prowl went to the door and slapped the release. "What do you want?"
"Look I... Can we talk?" Sunstreaker squirmed with discomfort as mechs walked past Prowl's office.
Prowl turned on his heel and allowed Sunstreaker into his office, the door closing behind them. He turned to face him and folded his arms. "Talk."
Sunstreaker rubbed the back of his helm. "I'm sorry I upset you, I wasn't thinking--"
"--no you weren't," Prowl bit back. "Is that all?"
Sunstreaker frowned and took a tentative step forward. "I do want a future with you, you've given me a reason to fight harder, something to live for..." He reached for Prowl only for the mech to remain stubbornly out of reach.
"So this future you want," Prowl responded tersely. "Is it before or after I throw you to the proverbial wolves?"
"What?" Sunstreaker frowned, he'd never been one for arguing, preferring to use his fists.
"You consider yourself expendable therefore I must have given you that impression with every battle that I've planned, every tactic, every order, every single thing I've done must have been at your fraggin' expense! After all, you're just cannon fodder to me, right?!" Prowl yelled angrily, hurling the aforementioned datapads containing his tactical planning at Sunstreaker, punctuating his words with enough force to cause the thin glass to crack on Sunstreaker's hard plating.
Sunstreaker stood staring at the ruined datapads at his feet unable to find the words. "Prowl I..." He started softly, "I didn't know..."
"Didn't know what?" Prowl spat out, "that you're more than just a number on a battle field? That you're all individuals with value to me as those individuals?" He glared at Sunstreaker coldly. "Didn't know that I spend hours pouring over the tactical plans even at the expense of spending time with you, which you so easily get irate about and complain about every chance you get, just so I can be sure that you'll all survive, that you'll come back to me, alive rather than a grayed out shell?!" Prowl raised his arms in exasperation. "What's not to know?" He scowled and hurled another datapad at him. "After all I'm obviously just a drone to you, not worth considering a future with!" Prowl's intakes were hitched and in a fit of rage and short of hitting Sunstreaker, he shoved the piles of datapads on the floor and marched out of his office without so much as a second glance at the mech standing dejectedly in the middle of the mess that was now his office.
****
Hours later still found Sunstreaker sat on the floor of Prowl's office surrounded by piles of datapads. He poured over each one. Read every detail, even though he knew some weren't meant for his optics. He read battle plans, rejected plans, rejected mission requests for special ops because the predicted success rate was below ninety five percent. He read granted requests for swapping shifts to spend time with a special someone - they actually put that in the request - but not at the expense of others, they were expected to work back the time, help someone else.
He read them all, realising more with each datapad how it was more than just a job to Prowl. They had never been just figures and tactical pawns to him. They were individuals first. He had come to a stop at the datapad marked private. Opening it his world had frozen as he'd thumbed through the list of names of every mech that had been lost or had died as a result of a battle since Prowl had held his position. It moved Sunstreaker but what had struck him deep in his spark was the secondary list. The names of survivors, those still fighting and every injury they'd ever had. "Primus, Prowl..." He murmured softly.
Pushing to his feet he subspaced the datapad and left the others in the neat piles on the floor where he'd sorted them to the best of his ability and went to look for Prowl.
****
Prowl ignored the door chime of his quarters, he was in no mood to continue arguing. After fragging up the tentative relationship he'd had with Sunstreaker, he just wanted to be alone with his anger. He should have known better than to hope he'd see him any differently than anyone else.
"Prowl?" Sunstreaker stepped over the threshold of his quarters, receiving a dark glare for his troubles.
"How did you get in?" Prowl snapped.
"You gave me the door code, remember?"
Prowl did remember and scowled. "Well that can be rectified. Please leave, I have nothing to say to you."
Sunstreaker frowned and marched forward. "No fragging way!" He uttered his frustration growing. "You might not have anything to say but I do, so stop being a stubborn aft glitch and listen to me," he growled. Primus the mech was worse than Sideswipe when he was in a mood.
Prowl glared at the wall opposite, pointedly not meeting Sunstreaker's optics.
"First of all, I'm sorry I shot my mouth off without thinking. I really didn't get what it was you do,"
"Oh and I suppose you're an expert now?" Prowl interrupted sarcastically.
"No, frag no," Sunstreaker shook his helm with a frown. "I understand it even less but what I do know is that you care more than is probably healthy about every one of us," he pulled out the datapad and placed it in Prowl's lap. "I get how none of us are expendable to you, how important we are.... I am to you..."
Prowl gently picked up the datapad, his optics dimming as he recognised it and held it to his chest with a sigh.
Sunstreaker crouched down. "And I get now what it means to want something bigger than yourself, to want to protect the one you love... even in war and I want to spend my life making sure you don't lose whatever it is in your spark that keeps you caring after losing so many..." His voice wavered and he placed a hesitant hand on Prowl's knee. "I want to be with the mech who has such a beautiful spark, want to build a life with him where I don't have to fight to keep it every slaggin' waking minute.... I want...." He looked down at the floor searching for the right words.
"A future....?" Prowl whispered softly.
Sunstreaker looked up, his optics bright as he gazed into Prowl's. "A future. With you... If you'll be willing to put up with a stupid glitch like me?" He gave him a lop sided grin as Prowl held his gaze for a long quiet moment and his spark fluttered in his chest as Prowl placed his hand over Sunstreaker's and squeezed it gently.
"Who else would put up with me and having datapads thrown at them?" He asked with a smile, Sunstreaker laughed and tugged him closer gathering him up into a tight embrace.