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English
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AU Roulette 2026, Whickber Street Writers Association
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Published:
2026-06-07
Updated:
2026-06-13
Words:
1,424
Chapters:
3/5
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9
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5
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Count Crowley the Impaler

Summary:

Aziraphale J. (short for Jonathan) Harker visits the mysterious Count Crowley in his empty, forbidding castle in Transylvania. Soon, the inexperienced clerk from England has to fight snares of evil and practice constant vigilance to defend his innocence. But the question is: who’s impaling whom here?

Fully written, will be 3k in 5 chapters, will update twice a week

Notes:

My contribution to the AU Roulette 2026, for the prompt “Classic Literature”

Thank You to the wonderful organiser at https://www.tumblr.com/au-roulette !

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My fandom is Good Omens and my classic book is Dracula, published 1897, by Bram Stoker

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The book Dracula is a collection of different “papers”, supposedly written by different protagonists, and apparently collected by the editor to tell the story from different angles, a bit like a case file.

In my Good Omens x Dracula crossover short story, we draw from several sources too, all written by different roles Aziraphale adopts.

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We will see my Good Omens version of the scene that has impressed me most when I first read Dracula as a teenager, and that has stuck with me ever since, where Mina describes what Dracula did to her:

>> […] he pulled open his shirt, and with his long sharp nails opened a vein in his breast. When the blood began to spurt out, he took my hands in one of his, holding them tight, and with the other seized my neck and pressed my mouth to the wound, so that I must either suffocate or swallow some […] <<

~~~ Dracula, by Bram Stoker

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Please also note that the lines uttered by Crowley, as well as some of the descriptions of his actions, are taken almost verbatim from Dracula.

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Published in 1897, Dracula is in the public domain. You can read it here here
https://archive.org/details/dracula-bram-stoker/page/n3/mode/1up
or listen to it here
https://librivox.org/dracula-version-4-by-bram-stoker/

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My most heartfelt thanks to Thinkinginscripts, who is the best beta in the world!

Chapter 1: Editor’s Note and A. J. Harker’s Journal

Chapter Text

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Editor’s Note: 

How these papers have been placed in sequence will be made manifest in the reading of them. They have been assembled with the aim that the history and character of the main protagonists may emerge. 

 

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Transylvania, 1893

 

Aziraphale J. Harker’s Journal

 

The morning of 16 May.—God be praised, for my plans have finally come to fruition.

Yesternight at dinner, I noted well the bitter tinge in the otherwise quite acceptable, if rather surprised Chateau Lafitte 1875 Count Crowley poured into my cup so generously, and was all too wary of a scheme brewing under his luscious red mane.

But I drank the claret down and asked for more, going along with his evil plan as far as I could, waiting with anticipation what lay in store for me. I only sleep when I want to, and no sleeping draft shall be my master. 

 

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