Chapter Text
1. It's in the Way You Hide (Like Nobody Notices)
“I’m surprised to see you here, especially this early.”
Felicity’s smile doesn’t reach her eyes, but then again it hasn’t in a very long time.
“Can’t a girl stop by to take her boyfriend to dinner?”
She regrets using the word the second it’s out of her mouth. In fact the longer this goes on, the less comfortable she is with the label. The team has commented more than once on her reluctance to use the B word. She spends a lot of her time ignoring things. God she's just so tired of it all. She feels like a dissatisfied actor in a play just going through the motions. Or a broken marionette without its strings.
Billy lights up. “I’d love that. Let me just finish up this report and grab my jacket. You want Chinese?”
Felicity nods absently, pushing back the sudden thoughts of late night takeout with Dig and Oliver, arguing over the superiority of chopsticks vs forks and plotting the best way to take down the next bad guy. Billy doesn’t comment or even seem to notice the shadow that passes over her face before she buckles down and reminds herself those times are gone.
She flinches as her phone trills loudly in her pocket, pulling it out to see Oliver’s face staring back at her. It’s a new picture, from one of the press conferences he’s given since becoming the mayor. Long gone is the picture of him with his arms wrapped around her; she still creeps into the hidden folder on her phone to gaze longingly at it during really dark moments when she wishes things were different. The phone rings again and startles her out of the wave of memories she’s struggling to tamp down.
She jams the red button to reject the call as Billy seemingly appears out of nowhere at her elbow.
“You still talk to him?” his voice makes her jump. He doesn’t sound mad, just confused.
“It was an amicable breakup! And he asked me for help on something – not something, but just…he asked if I could help the IT department at City Hall because they’re having problems with some firewall…stuff. But he can wait. It wasn’t urgent. It’s not important or anything…..” she blurts, her voice trailing off at the end. She hopes she sounds somewhat convincing.
She hates the way her voice trembles slightly when she lies, her hands waving as she mentally casts for something, anything, to change the topic to. She thought she was doing well with practicing what she preached regarding honesty when she admitted to him she worked with the Green Arrow. She doesn’t want to think about the hypocrisy of being unable to explain why she still talked to Oliver All. The. Time.
“Are you ready to go?” She’s not going to be able to maintain her façade of normality if she has to stand here talking to Billy about Oliver. She’s not ready to examine just why that is either.
Billy looks at her strangely for a moment, his eyebrows wrinkling, but then he’s smiling at her once again and gesturing towards the door, “After you.”
He holds the door open, making a joke about the rainy weather, and they’re back to the light-hearted banter that she’s comfortable with. When she laughs and cracks a joke right back she doesn’t see the look on his face as he studies her on her way out the door.
~ ~ ~
Oliver’s head snaps up at the sharp knock on his office door at City Hall.
“Come in.”
He smiles as Susan Williams’ head pokes around the door, “Sorry to interrupt Mr. Mayor. Do you have a minute? I brought lunch.”
She holds up a bag of Big Belly Burger and Oliver tries very hard to not let the spike of emotions he feels show on his face. He hasn’t had Big Belly since the breakup, especially not after John left. That was their thing as a team, and he just can’t bring himself to enjoy it, since his favourite part of it was the people he shared it with.
“Sorry, I just finished eating. Thanks for thinking of me, though.” Oliver tries for nonchalant but he’s pretty sure it sounds like a hollow excuse.
They’ve had drinks a few times, and Susan has made it very clear that if he wants to…escalate their relationship she would be 100% on board, but he just can’t bring himself to do it. She’s nice enough, but he hasn’t forgotten the incident with Thea, and most importantly, she’s not Felicity. He wonders if that’s his future, spending the rest of his life knowing that she’d be going home to someone else while he’s left trying to fill the gaping hole in his heart with ‘nice enough’.
“What can I do for you today, Susan?” he asks, keeping a pleasant smile (the one Thea calls his Mayor Smile) on his face.
She smiles flirtatiously at him, “Well isn’t that the question? I’m actually here for business, but I thought we could work in some ple-“
The sharp ring of his phone cuts her off, and they both glance down at his desk to see his cell light up with Felicity’s picture. He immediately sends the call to voicemail, squashing down the emotion that still spikes in his throat every time she calls. He turns back to Susan to see a calculating look on her face.
“You still talk to your ex-fiancée?” He can’t tell if she’s asking as his supposed friend or as a reporter, and that gives him pause.
“It wasn’t a bitter breakup. We’re still friends.” Short and sweet and mostly the truth. He figures even if she quotes him on that it won’t piss off Felicity too much.
She hums noncommittally and studies him silently. He resists the urge to fidget under her scrutiny knowing that will give him away.
“I’ve never actually met her. What’s she like?” Susan smooths her hands over her skirt, absently picking at non-existent lint and trying to seem non-threatening. It’s a tactic he recognizes and he knows he has to be careful. The last thing he needs is a headline about him being hung up on his ex- who has moved on.
“Smart. Really smart. Kind. Funny.”
He thinks if he keeps it short and on the things that are most obvious it will be okay, but he can’t help adding, “the best person I’ve ever known.”
Susan’s eyebrows shoot up, but thankfully she doesn’t say anything. He hopes that will be the end of this line of questioning and he won’t be reading a lurid exposé on himself in the morning.
“Now, you said you were here on business?” Oliver redirects the conversation, hoping that he can salvage some of his chill before she reports that all he does is sit in his office and pine for Felicity Smoak.
She smiles graciously and lets him turn the flow of chatter back to what she was there for; a quote for her story on medical clinics in the Glades.