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It probably says something, and not a good something, that Jacob’s handling the aftermath of everything the best. Evie’s doing fairly alright, considering that she had to be Embraced to save her life too, but she had to be Embraced to save her life too and Shay’s been taking that worst of anyone.
And Haytham...
Jacob’s honestly not entirely sure what’s shaken him so badly, and maybe it’s better if he doesn’t know since no one seems to want to talk about it, but something definitely has.
Edward’s been having a hard time getting Haytham alone to talk to him, to the point where he ends up asking Jacob to run interference with Shay for just a little while.
He should probably talk with Shay anyway, so it’s not like Jacob minds being asked to do that.
In retrospect, though, it’s possible he shouldn’t have started out by asking Shay if he knows what’s eating at Haytham so much. (Even if it was a good excuse to get him away from the person they’re talking about.)
Shay stares at him for a while before letting out a weary sigh. “Earlier on in... the night we found you again,” he says, “Evie got caught up in one of those... fear bombs, or something like it, that the Ripper had left out for her. And while she was still affected by it, she stabbed Edward in the chest.”
That would do it.
“And here I thought our birthday couldn’t get worse,” Jacob says, because he is still not over the fact that they’d both been Embraced on their birthday, thank you very much. (Or... close enough to it, anyway, considering how soon dawn must have been.)
Shay flinches, which reminds Jacob all over again of how badly he’s been taking that.
“Aye,” he mutters, looking away.
“Well,” Jacob says hastily, “I mean, it could have been a lot worse. I could have actually died. Evie could have actually died. We could have both died. Or Jack could have gotten away. Lots of options for worse, really.”
“You still deserved better than that,” Shay says, still not looking at Jacob. “You both did.”
“I know,” Jacob says. “But... this is what we’ve got to work with, isn’t it?”
“...It is.”
“Is there... some other reason you’ve been beating yourself up over it since then, or...?”
“It was my suggestion,” Shay whispers, “for Edward to Embrace you in the first place. Even though I know what it feels like to be Embraced when you... don’t want it. I didn’t... have any way to know you would have been alright with it, and I made the suggestion anyway.”
“Alright,” Jacob says slowly. “That’s it?”
Because it really sounds, to Jacob, like there might be more to it than that.
Shay visibly struggles with what he wants to say, before he eventually settles on, “It should have been something you both got to choose. And it wasn’t.”
“Believe me, I know,” Jacob says. “But... what does blaming yourself over it now do?”
Shay groans and drags a hand through his hair. “I know I can’t... change anything that already happened,” he says. “But it’s still too damn close to what Lucita did to me.”
“You deserved better than that, too,” Jacob says before he can stop himself. In retrospect, maybe not the best thing to say right then, but that doesn’t make it any less true.
At least Shay doesn’t immediately lash out at him for saying it. He’d like to think that counts for something.
Instead he just sighs heavily and shrugs. “That didn’t stop her. And I doubt she’s sorry for it, even now.”
“Probably not,” Jacob admits. “That’s on her, though, not on you.”
“Doesn’t mean I ever wanted to be like her,” Shay mutters.
“You’re not, though,” Jacob says.
Shay shrugs, clearly not believing him. Jacob supposes that’s fair. He’s never actually met Shay’s sire, and what he’s heard of her doesn’t make him ever really want to.
“But let’s say you are,” he says, deciding to try something a little different. “You’re still doing better than her.”
Shay opens his mouth, closes it again, and frowns. “I...”
“You haven’t had any plans to keep Evie—or me—imprisoned indefinitely, if we didn’t immediately retire from the Assassins,” Jacob says. “You wouldn’t do that.”
“No,” Shay says immediately. “Never.”
“My point exactly,” Jacob says, with feeling.
Slowly, Shay nods.
“You hate the thought of doing anything like what she would do, of being anything like her,” Jacob says. “Isn’t that proof in itself that you’re not her?”
“...Suppose so,” he mumbles.
“Anyway,” Jacob says, “I feel pretty confident in speaking for both of us when I say that there’s nothing you could do to make either of us hate you more than you’re determined to hate yourself. Believe me, I get it. I do. But that won’t be changing, no matter how much you think it should.”
“Clearly not,” Shay says, managing something that might, if Jacob’s feeling charitable, be able to be called a smile.
Jacob offers him something he feels a little more confident in calling a smile, personally. “Glad to be on the same page, then.”
“Aye,” Shay murmurs.
“I doubt you’d want to be away from Haytham too much longer, with how much things are clearly eating at him, too,” Jacob says, “but just... try to remember it’s not just the two of you and sometimes Gist, alright? You’re not alone, whatever might happen.”
Shay takes a shaky breath, and then manages a little nod. “...I know,” he says quietly. “But thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Jacob says.
If Edward was still human, he would have probably made himself sick from worry by now, over... everything. The twins seem to be adjusting surprisingly well, considering everything. Jacob’s sent word to his family, and they should be arriving tomorrow night. Evie’s working on a letter to hers.
But Shay’s still a wreck over having had to Embrace Evie, and Haytham’s... possibly in even worse shape. He’s clearly trying to suppress it, but he isn’t doing that well enough to hide the absolutely haunted look in his eyes whenever he looks Edward’s way.
(And considering when that started, Edward’s got a fairly good guess that it’s because he saw Evie stab him in the chest while under the effects of the fear bomb. Given what happened the last time he had seen Edward get stabbed in the chest before that... his reaction makes perfect sense. It doesn’t hurt any less to see.)
He has a slightly better idea of where to start with Haytham, at least. Which still isn’t saying much. Getting him alone is the hard part, because he and Shay are even more joined at the hip than they ordinarily are.
In the end, Edward ends up enlisting Jacob to distract Shay long enough that he can talk with Haytham, because... he’d like to talk to Shay, too, but he’s not sure he’s up to both of them at the same time.
Haytham goes wide-eyed when Edward approaches him, which hurts, but at least he doesn’t run. Still, Edward stops where he’s standing, because... God, he remembers when Haytham would run too well, and the last thing he wants to do is push too hard.
“Haytham,” Edward says as gently as he can manage, “I think we’re... overdue, for talking about some things.”
“...Perhaps,” he says faintly.
God, Edward wishes he could hold him, but... he doesn’t think Haytham will take that well when he’s already feeling cornered.
“I’d... ask if you’re alright,” Edward says quietly, “but I think I know the answer to that one. And I’d be willing to bet I know why. Is there... anything I can do, to...?”
Haytham flinches a little, his shoulders hunching defensively. “What do you... believe it is?”
“...The last time you saw me be stabbed,” Edward says, “ended much worse than it did this time.”
That gets a much harder flinch, and confirms what Edward was already fairly certain of.
“I...”
“I’m still here, lad,” he says softly.
Haytham manages a jerky nod, but he’s not looking any less afraid. “I... I know,” he whispers.
“That doesn’t make it any easier, though, does it?”
“...No.”
Edward sighs and says, “If you’d rather not, believe me, I understand, but... if you’d like a hug, it might help us both, at least a little.”
Might help Haytham to be at least a little more sure that he’s physically there. That he’ll still be there.
Haytham hesitates for several moments before he nods hesitantly, and takes an equally-hesitant step closer. Edward waits for Haytham to come to him, then pulls him into his arms, holding him as tightly as he dares.
(Which, with them both being Kindred, is very damn tight.)
“I love you, son,” Edward says, because Haytham can never hear it enough.
Haytham doesn’t need to breathe, but his breath catches all the same. He tucks his face against Edward’s shoulder before he whispers, a little muffled against his jacket, “I... I love you too.”
Edward whispers, holding him a little closer, “That’s nice to hear, but... you don’t have to say it back.”
He’s a little dismayed, but not all that surprised, to feel Haytham flinch against him. “I...”
Blinking back the bloody tears that are suddenly threatening to fall, Edward says, “Believe me, I can tell. You wouldn’t be this shaken, otherwise.”
“I suppose... there... is that,” Haytham manages, his voice wavering.
Edward holds his son and says, “I know you likely would have said it, if there was anything else I could do to help, but... if that changes... let me know?”
“Just...” Haytham’s voice cracks. “Just don’t go.”
“I won’t,” Edward promises.
Haytham nods against his shoulder, and clings to him in turn with a quiet sob.
It’s the confirmation that Haytham is crying, too, that makes Edward lose the fight against his own tears. They’re both still crying when Edward hears footsteps he can assume belong to either Jacob, Shay, or both.
Haytham clearly hears them as well, because he pulls back just far enough to swipe a hand against his eyes, taking a shaky breath.
“You alright?” Jacob asks, and honestly, he could be talking to either or both of them.
“...More or less,” Haytham says, with a huff that might be an attempt at a laugh.
“Aye, what he said,” Edward agrees, trying for a smile.
Shay gives the both of them a long look, then nods slowly. “That’s good,” he murmurs.
“I’d like to think so,” Edward agrees, giving Haytham one last squeeze before he pulls away.
He’s entirely unsurprised that Haytham immediately drifts over to Shay, taking his hand without hesitation. The two of them are good for each other, not that Edward’s doubted it since he met the pair. And Shay looks a little more settled in his own skin than he did earlier tonight, which is... honestly, more than Edward had hoped for.
They’ll be alright, he thinks, in the end. It’ll take time, but that’s one thing vampires have no shortage of.
Jayadeep, my love,
You will be pleased to hear that I was ultimately successful in finding and aiding my brother, though it did not come without a cost—by now, I suspect at least rumors of the Ripper have reached you. He was a monster. But he is dead now, thanks in no small part to the aid of Edward, his son, and son-in-law. I do not know that I would have been capable of seeing this through to its end, if I was entirely alone. Though I certainly would have tried nevertheless.
I digress. Matters here, too delicate in many ways for me to put to paper, have conspired to keep me in London for longer than I had intended upon, and I do not know when I will be able to come home. I know that it is a lot to ask of you, and I do not ask it lightly. But if you would be willing to rejoin me here, I would welcome your presence. It is safe enough now that you could bring the children, though I fully understand if you would rather not; still, it may be some time before I can see them again, otherwise.
I love you, regardless of what you choose. I always will, and I hope to hear back from you soon.
With love,
Evie Frye
There are more concerning letters that Jayadeep could have received. He could have received one informing him of his wife’s death, for example.
But he is still concerned, quite a bit. And it is easy enough, with that in mind, to make the decision to travel to London with their children.
It will take some time to make the arrangements for all of them to travel, but he sends off a letter confirming that they will, as quickly as he can manage.
Ultimately, they are able to set off well before Jayadeep would have expected to receive a letter in return, though given the difficulty of travel with three children—even if their son is nearly an adult himself by now, and his sisters aren’t far behind him—he has certain suspicions that they aren’t making anywhere near as good of time as Evie herself had.
But, then, they do not have to. There is no pressing reason to follow Evie with as much urgency as she originally traveled with, given the significantly more alarming letter she’d received from her brother. Still, Jayadeep worries. And he will continue to do so, he thinks, until he sees Evie for himself.
To say that Evie is nervous is an understatement.
Her brother’s family was able to return much sooner, given that they weren’t anywhere near as far away—Crawley, where else?—and they took what had happened to him... about as well as could have been hoped for, really, given the circumstances. In comparison, considering that she hadn’t been kidnapped and tortured by Jack the Ripper for a month, she likely has no reason to be as nervous as she is.
She’d only been badly injured enough while taking him down that she, too, is now a creature of the night. Jayadeep won’t take that well, even in an absolute best-case scenario.
But attempting to hide it from him—assuming that she even could, for long enough for it to matter—would be worse. Not to mention an exercise in futility.
“It’ll be alright, lass,” Edward says, leaning against the wall while she paces back and forth across the room.
“I sincerely hope you’re right,” Evie says. “Logically speaking, of course you’re right, it’s just... I just...”
She sighs, and mutters, “Jayadeep won’t like this, that it had to come to this, but... he’ll accept it, even though I know it will hurt him. But our children...”
“I know,” he says softly. “But at least they won’t have lost you entirely.”
“At least there is that,” she agrees, and returns to pacing, if only because she has nothing better to do.
“They love you,” he says. “That counts for a lot.”
“I know,” Evie says, though there’s a note of something in Edward’s voice that makes her glance back over at him. For a moment, before he schools his expression back into something more neutral, he looks deeply, deeply sad. And even after that, it’s still there in his eyes.
(...Evie could guess at why that is fairly easily, if she wasn’t already all but certain.)
“You would’ve had to tell them eventually, regardless,” Edward says, smiling a little wryly before it fades. “Since you had been planning on the Embrace, if not... when it happened.”
“Of course, I would have,” she agrees, “but... they’re still so young.”
The fact that her son is three years younger than she and Jacob were when they took down Crawford Starrick is entirely irrelevant.
“So were you,” he says, “when you first learned about Kindred.”
...Edward, clearly, disagrees.
“I wasn’t quite that young,” Evie protests, allowing him a smile of her own.
“Close enough to it,” he says, chuckling a little.
“No, no, I really don’t think it was.”
Edward raises his eyebrows. “Keep telling yourself that, lass.”
“I will,” Evie says, “because I’m right, thank you very much, a few years made a much more significant difference at that age than it would for either of us now.”
“Aye, so it did,” he allows. “But you weren’t as grown as you wanted to believe you were.”
“Is anyone?” she says.
“No,” he admits. “I doubt it, anyway.”
“That’s what I thought,” Evie says primly, before there’s a knock on the door. The front door, presumably. And the fears she’d largely managed to banish, for a little while, come roaring back into her mind with a vengeance.
“You can come in,” Edward calls.
Evie should... say something, do anything except stand there. Unfortunately, that ends up being exactly what she does as her husband enters the room.
Jayadeep looks well. Worried, but... well. Not that she has the chance to look at him for very long before he’s crossing the room and pulling her immediately into a tight hug.
She slumps into him without hesitation, burying her face against his shoulder with a deep sigh. “I missed you,” she murmurs.
“And I, you,” Jayadeep murmurs back. It doesn’t seem like he has noticed anything out of the ordinary, yet, though if anything it seems like he is holding her a little tighter now.
She ultimately doesn’t have the chance to ask before their children come spilling into the room behind him. Jay looks nearly as relieved as his father had, and the girls—have they gotten taller? She definitely wasn’t away for that long, but both of them are closer to their brother’s height than they were when she left, which is... startling. Very.
Evie is only distantly aware of Edward stepping further back, as the majority of her attention is on her children, particularly as they all make an attempt at flinging their arms around her, as best they can.
“I missed you as well,” she says to them.
“What happened?” Arya demands, looking up at her. “Father wouldn’t tell us anything except that it was important, and Jay—”
(Evie is going to assume that by us, then, she means herself and her sister.)
“—could only tell us that Uncle Jacob was in trouble!”
Jay shrugs unrepentantly and says, “She wouldn’t stop asking until I told her something.”
Evie takes a breath, not that she truly needs to any longer, and says, “He was.” They are still too young to hear the details of what happened, but keeping the truth from them isn’t an option either. Remaining vague is likely the best course of action. “He was kidnapped by Jack the Ripper, who was terrorizing London. Just before he was kidnapped, he was able to send letters asking for help.”
“He’s... alright now, isn’t he?” Maya asks, a little timidly, while both of her siblings are still staring at Evie in perhaps justified horror.
“Yes,” Evie replies. She glances toward Edward, briefly, then back to her children. “He is.”
(She is... not quite certain how to broach the topic of his being Kindred now, any more than she is certain how to broach the topic for herself.)
“Good,” Maya says.
“Who are you?” Arya asks, following Evie’s gaze.
“Name’s Edward,” he says, smiling a little.
Arya smiles a little back, and offers, “Mine’s Arya.”
“It’s good to meet you, lass,” Edward says.
“My sister’s Maya,” she says, “she’s just shy.”
“And there is nothing wrong with that,” Jayadeep says gently.
“No, there’s not,” Edward agrees. His attention shifts to Evie’s son, and he says, “And you must be Jay.”
Jay nods. “Jayadeep, technically, but... usually Jay. It’s easier to avoid getting confused with Father that way.”
“Aye, that makes sense,” Edward says with a chuckle.
“How do you know Mother and Father and Uncle Jacob?” Arya asks.
...Oh, God help them all, she and Jacob are going to get along far too well. Evie hadn’t thought of that, considering just how little the girls were when they saw each other last.
“We met here in London,” Edward says, “back when Starrick was still a problem.”
“Oh, so ancient history, then,” Arya says.
“Oi!” he protests with a laugh. “Twenty years isn’t ancient history.”
“Well, it is before she was born,” Jay comments a little too casually, “so it’s an understandable mistake to make.”
“That is before you were born too, and you know it!” Arya protests.
Edward laughs at—probably both of them, if Evie had to guess, and she can’t quite hold back a chuckle of her own.
“Wouldn’t ancient history,” Maya says, “be before anyone here was born?”
...She has no idea.
“Suppose so,” Edward says, “but...” He glances at Evie for a moment, and says, “That might be further back than you think.”
“You don’t look that old,” Jay says matter of factly.
“Well, thank you for that, lad,” Edward says, chuckling. “But I’m quite a bit older than I look.”
“Are you?” he says skeptically.
Evie watches as Edward visibly considers his words for a moment. And then he nods and says, “I was born in 1693.”
Jay stares at him. So, for that matter, does Maya. Arya’s the first to speak up, after that, and she exclaims, “That is ancient!”
Edward opens his mouth, closes it again, and grumbles, “There’s more ancient out there.” (There isn’t much heat in his words.)
“Very much so,” Evie agrees, finding her voice a little later than she’d wanted to.
“You really don’t look that old,” Jay says.
“No, I don’t,” Edward says, smiling briefly before it fades. “That’s because of... what I am.”
“...What are you, then?” Jay asks, with less hesitation than Evie would have expected.
His father meets Evie’s eyes over his head, raising an eyebrow. And that could mean any number of things, really, but Evie’s mainly thinking about how much more startled she and Jayadeep had both been when they found out what Edward was.
Then again, there were arguably extenuating circumstances. Such as the fact that he was a legendary Assassin the two of them had only ever heard about, and the fact that they’d watched him tear a Templar to shreds in front of them—a Templar that all too easily could have been Evie or Jayadeep, if she hadn’t known what to do to handle the situation.
In response to Jayadeep’s raised eyebrow, Evie simply shrugs a little.
“Well,” Edward says, “the word we generally use, at least those of us who like to remember we used to be human, is ‘Kindred’. The word you’re more likely to recognize is ‘vampire’.”
“Those don’t really exist,” Arya says very matter-of-factly.
“Do they not?” Edward asks.
He’s not even pretending to breathe, at this point, Evie realizes.
“Of course not.”
“Um,” Maya says, “Arya—”
Edward raises his eyebrows. “Are you sure?”
“Yes!”
“Arya, he’s not breathing,” Maya says.
“What? Of course he is, he has to do that.”
“...No, he isn’t,” Jay says. “So I’m assuming he doesn’t, actually.”
Edward chuckles a little. “You’d be right about that, lad.”
“Why not?”
“That’s just how Kindred work,” Edward replies. “We’re not... alive, although we aren’t entirely dead, either.”
“Huh,” Jay says. “Alright.”
He is... far less alarmed than either of his parents were, Evie notes.
“You can’t go telling just anyone about this, obviously,” Edward says. “But your parents already know, and I reckon you three are old enough to keep a secret.”
“You already know?” Arya demands. “How did you know?”
“What, you don’t think we know everything still?” Evie has to joke.
“No,” both of her twins say, in unison, without any hesitation. Jay snorts and shakes his head.
“They’ve known since we met,” Edward says, which is a... very mild way to put it.
“...So why are you telling us now?” Maya asks quietly.
Edward meets Evie’s eyes, and she takes a breath she doesn’t need.
“Because,” she says before Edward can say anything, “it’s... quite relevant to you all.”
“Ah,” Jayadeep says. He doesn’t sound... disappointed, or alarmed, at least. But he also doesn’t sound terribly surprised.
(Evie doesn’t think that any of their children have caught on, quite yet. She’s all but certain that her husband has.)
She nods a little, then opens her mouth and closes it again as she finds she isn’t sure what to say.
“Aye,” Edward says quietly.
“...What do you mean?” Arya asks.
“When we were finally able to take down Jack,” Evie murmurs, “he put up... quite a fight. I was more hurt than I originally realized.”
“Are... you...” Jay begins, but he trails off before he can finish the question. There are tears in his eyes; Evie doubts he’s noticed them. He’d likely be ignoring them, though, if he had.
(For all that her son looks more and more like Jayadeep, the older he gets... he’s turned out quite a lot like her.)
Evie nods. “Yes,” she says softly.
It’s possible that she shouldn’t be surprised when admitting to that out loud gets her held significantly tighter on all fronts.
Really, she definitely shouldn’t be surprised. And maybe she shouldn’t have been as scared, either, but...
...Well, the fact of the matter is that she was, and denying her feelings has never worked out particularly well for anyone involved.
Evie closes her eyes, and tries to hold them all closer in turn.
The fact that Evie doesn’t hold what Shay had done to her against him is... still more than he deserves. It was easier to push that down, after talking with Jacob, up until Evie’s husband arrived with their children, at which point all of Shay’s guilt came roaring back.
Whatever Jayadeep has sought him specifically out for, when he’s been trying so hard to keep his distance, doesn’t bode well. But he likely still deserves it. Whatever he has to say.
Possibly the last thing Shay would have expected Evie’s husband to say, let alone open with, is what actually ends up leaving his mouth: “Thank you.”
Shay blinks several times, despite the fact that he doesn’t technically need to. “What?” he says, because he can’t have heard that right.
“Thank you,” Jayadeep repeats, “for saving her.”
...Apparently he did hear that right, which doesn’t make any sense.
“I...”
“Evie would have died, if it wasn’t for you,” Jayadeep says seriously, as if it’s so simple. It isn’t. They both know that it isn’t, or at the very least, he should know that too.
“It’s my fault she even wound up in that situation to begin with,” Shay says, looking down at the floor. “If I’d just gone with her right away, then...”
“I was under the impression,” Jayadeep says, “that it was Jack the Ripper’s fault.”
“I hesitated!” Shay snaps, before he can think better of it. “I shouldn’t have hesitated, but I did!”
“Then why did you?” he asks, calm enough for it to be nearly infuriating.
Shay drags a hand through his hair. “Haytham was... not doing well,” he says quietly. “But he was with Edward, so I should have just... gone with Evie. Instead of standing there trying to decide.”
“Ah,” Jayadeep says. “That certainly explains it.”
Does it? Shay’s really not sure that it does.
“I would have hesitated, at least, if I had been in your place,” he goes on, “and Evie had been in Haytham’s.”
“I just...” Shay trails off, shrugging helplessly. “She didn’t have a choice in the matter. She should have, but I didn’t give her one. I couldn’t.”
“Do you blame yourself more than you blame the one who injured her?” Jayadeep says. “Who nearly killed her brother, tortured him for some time, and visited countless horrors upon this city? You are not Jack the Ripper, and you are not the reason why she didn’t have a choice.”
Shay opens his mouth, then closes it again. “Still didn’t think you’d be... grateful...” he mutters.
“I never imagined that I might outlive her,” Jayadeep murmurs, “until I was abruptly confronted with the possibility. Regardless of what led to it, what happened, happened, and my wife would be dead were it not for your actions. How could I not be grateful?”
...Haytham might have said something similar, many years ago now, shortly after Shay’s Embrace. He had been devastated when he thought Shay had died, and relieved enough to discover that he wasn’t gone to take much of Shay’s explaining about why in stride. Somewhat. As much as anyone could have.
Jayadeep is... doing more or less the same thing with Evie.
“I’m... glad she’s not dead,” Shay says quietly, unable to bring himself to meet Jayadeep’s gaze. “But I never wanted to be... like this... and I had no way to know that she was thinking about it. For all I knew, I was forcing her into something that she wanted as much as I had.”
“Perhaps it is selfish of me,” Jayadeep says, “but I would not hold that choice against you even if she... had not wanted it. I would rather she still be here, regardless of how.”
Shay sighs. “Haytham probably would’ve said the same thing, if Lucita hadn’t been trying to punish me,” he admits.
“You obviously were not,” Jayadeep says evenly.
“No,” Shay says immediately. “Never.”
“And I am grateful,” Jayadeep says, “however unreasonable that belief might seem to you.”
“Right,” Shay whispers.
He still can’t bring himself to look at Jayadeep. But Jayadeep is looking at him.
“Then I am glad we understand each other,” he says at last, “at least a little.”
“Aye.”
Jayadeep gives him a long look, before Shay sees him nod out of the corner of his eye, and he walks off, eventually dropping down from the roof.
...He has every right to hate Shay, for what he’s done. The fact that he doesn’t is... it’s far more than Shay deserves.