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When Jake opened his front door on a random afternoon, he fully expected the mailman. Or some door-to-door salesman, if those were still a thing. Or maybe even Milo’s friend coming over to play Fortnite or something.
Really, Jake expected anything but Drew, standing there with red, glassy eyes.
The sight felt unfamiliar, surreal. Jake couldn't help but think that the shorter boy’s gloomy figure looked out of place amidst the warm, sunny, summer background of the front porch. And on top of it all, he had never once seen Drew cry before.
A part of Jake wanted to ask what was wrong. But another part knew a bit better than that.
“I broke up with Zoey,” Drew said flatly, but Jake didn’t miss the way his voice cracked. Alright. Question answered.
The news must’ve been a shock to Jake, because before he even knew it, he and Drew were seated on the edge of his bed. It was weird, as if they teleported.
The silence was thick and heavy until Jake decided to break it. “So, um,” he started, speaking like he just learnt how to. “What happened?” he nervously traced circles on his bedsheets with his thumb.
“I was at the mall, and–” Drew started, and Jake’s stomach dropped. “I saw Zoey there with some stupid college guy.”
“Oh,” the blond said, for a lack of anything smarter to say.
“It’s funny,” Drew laughed dryly, flopping backwards so he was lying down, his legs still hanging off the edge of the bed. Jake turned around to get a better look at him. “She tried to defend herself by saying that she only stuck around him for the gifts,” he continued, and Jake watched as his smile faded. “But she didn't even deny that she did the same thing with me.”
“Shit, Drew,” Jake frowned. “I’m sorry.”
Drew shook his head. “Don’t be. I’m fine,” he crossed his arms. After a beat, he spoke up again. “I– I didn’t like her all too much, anyway.”
“What?” Jake said quickly, his slight loudness disrupting the previous quiet. “But you looked so– I thought you were happy with her,” he added, but it sounded uncertain, almost like a question.
When Drew officially started going out with Zoey a few months back, Jake and the others had congratulated him for being the first among them to get a girlfriend. And annoying public displays of affection aside, Jake was glad that Drew had found someone nice.
And then when Jake saw Zoey with another guy a few days ago, he’d been working up the courage to talk to Drew ever since. Sure, he could've told Drew immediately, but it was his word against Zoey’s and with how disgustingly mushy they’d been, Jake wasn’t sure Drew would believe him.
Looking at Drew’s face right now though, Jake felt a pit in his stomach.
“She was okay. I mean, at least until… y’know. But she was just,” Drew stared up at the ceiling before sitting back up. He still didn’t make eye contact with Jake, who was hanging onto his words and desperately trying not to look down at how close their hands were. “I don't know. I guess she was just a replacement for somebody else.”
Jake’s eyes widened, a lump forming in his throat. He knew that Drew had never been the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, but if he liked someone, Jake thought that he’d be the first to know. “Who…?” he muttered, just loud enough for Drew to hear.
A very selfish part of him lurched forward, making his stomach twist with what he deep down recognised as hope.
He hadn’t even realised how close he’d gotten until Drew turned his head to look at him. He was smiling. “I think you know,” he answered, voice hoarse and quiet.
Jake’s heart was beating so hard he thought it'd explode. He couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn’t even begin to search Drew’s expression for any sort of clarification.
The next few moments of eye-contact were unbearable, but for a fraction of a second, he saw Drew’s gaze drop down slightly, like he was looking at Jake's mouth.
He was looking at Jake’s mouth.
Before Jake even had the chance to second guess himself – before Jake had the chance to form any coherent thought on the matter – he felt a warm hand on the back of his neck, closing the distance until–
—
Everything was dark.
Jake gasped for air as he bolted upright, breaths deep and desperate before softening
When his eyes started to focus, the darkness became easier to see through, and was greeted with the familiar sight of Drew’s TV and Drew’s bookshelves lining the walls of Drew’s room.
Right. The guys were all having a sleepover at Drew’s house. One last time in the summer before junior year kicked up.
Of course, if Jake was ever going to have a dream about kissing Drew, it was gonna be at Drew’s house. That wasn't awkward at all.
He quickly looked at said boy, who was still sleeping.
Or so he thought. The sound of rustling from the bed made Jake’s heart almost stop from the shock. He couldn't help but stare at the source of the noise.
Even in the dark, Jake could make out Drew’s face. “Hi,” he whispered, plastering on a smile that he wasn’t sure Drew could even see.
“Are you okay?” Drew asked, his voice raspy like it was in Jake’s dream right before they–
Jeez, Jake scolded himself. Read the room.
Anyways, Jake’s pulse was still racing. He tried not to shiver as the cold air of Drew’s frigid AC latched onto the sweat on his back. He took another deep breath. “Yeah, I just had a crazy dream,” he laughed a little as he said it, as if he dreamt of a spider or showing up to school in his pyjamas or something stupid.
Y’know, literally anything that wasn't the guy he was talking to kissing him.
It was quiet for a few moments before Drew responded. “Okay,” he rolled over again. “Go back to sleep.”
“Gotcha,” Jake said, absentmindedly. He shuffled back down into his sleeping bag, pulling it up to his chin like it would protect him from god knows what.
Guilt panged in Jake's stomach, radiating across every inch of his body and leaving him vibrating from the impact. Seriously, what was he supposed to do with a dream like that?
Wanting to kiss Drew, as embarrassing as it was to admit, was not a new thought for Jake. He’d realised his crush in sophomore year, but it probably started before then. Knowing Jake, it probably started the second Drew sat next to him in class and showed him any sort of attention.
Every insult shouted across the hall at Hailey or whatever unlucky soul was their victim that day ate him up from the inside. It always dawned upon him that he was one flap of a butterfly’s wings away from being that unlucky.
But still, Jake wanted it. Because even with those stupid insults, and those sickening moments of PDA with Zoey he had to keep his mouth shut for, Jake looked at Drew and felt like he was wanted. With every arm thrown on his shoulders, or every small glance shared between just the two of them, Jake rode the high of feeling like he belonged.
The dream… It was Jake’s subconscious being selfish, assuming that Drew could ever like him as a liar or a music freak and every bad thing Jake was scared Drew would one day realise he was.
At this point, he’d be hiding too much from someone he called his best friend.
—
Jake didn’t know how he managed to get back to sleep after that. But, sitting at Drew’s dining table with the others, he knew that he'd have to get over it.
He watched as Henry and Liam had some stupid argument, before Drew nudged him with his elbow.
“What happened last night?” Drew said quietly, leaning forward ever so slightly. Maybe yesterday morning, Jake wouldn’t notice such a small decrease in their distance, but he did now.
Jake swallowed down his bite of breakfast. “I told, man, it was a weird dream.”
Drew snickered, raising an eyebrow. “What, did Daisy reject you or something?”
Jake’s heart was beating so fast he thought it'd explode. It was a familiar feeling. Despite himself, he laughed. “Yeah,” he put a hand to the back of his neck. “You could say that.”