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"Ah-choo!"
Gerard whipped his head around to stare at Frank.
"What was that?"
"It was a sneeze, Gerard," Frank answered calmly. He refocused on the circuit board in front of him.
"What was its purpose?"
"To clear foreign particles from my nose and mouth," Frank muttered.
"Do all humans do that?"
"Yes."
"Can I do that?"
"No, any particles you ingest will be filtered out before they reach your lungs."
"Good. It sounded like it hurt."
Frank chuckled.
They were sitting on the couch, Gerard reading the newspaper aloud, when Frank started coughing.
"What is that? Why are you doing that?" Gerard asked frantically.
Frank waved away the robot's concern. He took a sip of water from the glass on the side table then relaxed back into the cushions.
"Are you broken?" Gerard leaned in close to peer at Frank's face.
"No, Gerard. That was coughing. All humans do it, sometimes involuntarily."
Gerard stared at him for another moment, unblinking.
"Are you sure you're not broken?"
"I'm fine, Gerard," he assured the curious bot with a smile. "Keep reading."
When Frank coughed again over breakfast, Gerard put his hands on his hips and pursed his lips.
"Frequent coughing indicates the presence of a disease. Are you diseased?"
"No, I'm not-" Frank frowned at Gerard. "Were you using the internet without permission?"
"No, I... Yes," he admitted, dropping his hands to his sides.
"We talked about this, Gerard. You need to learn at a measured pace. I don't want you to get overloaded with information. I certainly don't want you learning from the internet." He picked up his abandoned piece of toast.
"You didn't fully answer my question."
"I'm not diseased, Gerard."
"Good."
"Frank, why are you still in bed? Frank, you have a meeting. Frank, you need to be awake for the meeting. Frank-"
"Gerard, please," groaned Frank. "Reschedule my meeting, please. I'm staying in bed today."
"That's not normal," Gerard said, sounding upset. "You don't normally do that. Why are you doing that?"
"I'm sick, Gerard. It's perfectly fine, I just need a day or two."
"But-"
"Please reschedule my meeting."
"... Alright."
The sun was high when Gerard burst into Frank's bedroom.
"I know you said not to go on the internet, but you're broken and the internet has an answer for everything, so I used the internet to find out how to fix you."
"I'm not broken, Gerard, I'm just sick. It's fine, it happens a lot."
"But you're not supposed to be, the internet said so," Gerard insisted.
"You're right," Frank conceded. "This isn't my normal state, but being sick is perfectly normal. It happens to all humans, even robots sometimes. Remember that virus you got last month?"
Gerard nodded, lips pursed again.
"That's what this is, only the human version. I'll get better on my own, it just takes time."
"But the internet said-"
"You seriously need to quit going on the web, Gerard. You'll get another virus."
"I don't go to those sites anymore!" Gerard said angrily.
"No more internet, Gerard."
"Fine."
"I got a book, Frank! It's like the internet, but on paper. It's going to help me fix you!"
Frank rolled over and covered his head with his pillow, groaning.
"The things you have, they're symptoms," Gerard said excitedly. "You just match up the symptoms with the disease and then it tells you how to fix it."
"Gerard, please, my head is killing me."
"That's a symptom!" Gerard exclaimed. "Sneezing, coughing, headaches, excessive sleeping, that thing you're doing now, with your face leaking-"
"Uhg, please don't call it that," Frank begged into his pillow.
"Runny nose, that's what it's called," Gerard told him happily, flipping through page after page. "They're symptoms, Frank! I can make you not sick!"
"Fine, whatever, please let me sleep."
Frank's bedroom door flew open with a crash.
"Drink this!"
Frank wearily took the glass that was handed him and sipped without opening his eyes.
"Uhg!" he cried, spitting it out. "What the hell is that?"
"An ancient Chinese remedy!"
"Get out of my room, Gerard."
"Drink this!"
"No."
"It's soup! Chicken soup! The woman next door said it would help."
"I don't eat meat, Gerard. Remember? Vegetarian."
"Chicken isn't meat, Frank, it's a bird!"
Frank groaned and pulled his blankets over his head.
"Orange juice has vitamins in it, Frank! Vitamins will make you better."
"If I drink the orange juice will you let me sleep for the rest of the night?"
Gerard nodded frantically.
"Okay, gimme the damn juice."
The house was still and silent when Frank finally woke. He could hear traffic in the distance and the chirp of birds outside his window. Checking his clock, he sighed at the realization that he had been laid up for a day and a half.
Frank slowly crawled out of bed and changed into a clean pair of pajamas before heading downstairs.
"Gerard?" he called, voice raspy and throat sore.
"I'm in the living room!"
Frank shuffled into the cozy little room and smiled at the sight of Gerard curled up on the couch, watching the science channel.
"Are you fixed? Did the orange juice fix you?" Gerard asked, eyes wide and caring.
Frank chuckled and crossed the room to sit with his robot.
"Yes, Gerard. Thank you very much."
Gerard pulled him close and covered him in a blanket.
"I read a lot about diseases, Frank. I'm going to make sure you don't get sick anymore, okay?"
"Okay, Gerard."
A few hours later, while Frank was sleeping with his head propped up on Gerard's shoulder, the robot reached over to gently touch Frank's forehead.
"98.6," he muttered. "All fixed."