Chapter Text
Louis wouldn’t exactly describe his evening as something akin to finding closure. He’d simply checked a mark on a long list of things he’d had pushed to the back of his mind. Finding Bruce? It had been a lucky coincidence that he happened to receive the information. He knew the satisfaction would be fleeting, before it bled back into grief.
Clean, freshly fed, and feeling as though he might be able to take a deep breath he felt his phone vibrating. He ignored it time and time again, lost in thought as he focused on driving wanting nothing more than to return to his hotel and sleep.
When Daniel Malloy’s voice cut through his mind he nearly swerved the car.
“Hey! I’m trying to call you. I know you’re pissed at me but you need to find your ex. I’m pretty sure he’s in the midst of a nervous breakdown. He’s left the studio and no one can find him. He’s in a real bad way I wouldn’t be texting your brain if I didn’t think it was serious!”
Louis hurriedly pulled over on the side of the road. “You better talk fast, what did you do? What did you drag out of him?”
“He talked about Nicki…and then about his turning. He’s about as transparent about his own abuse trauma as you are. If he were ever gonna try something, as in end his life something, it would be now.
“You got a lotta balls breeching that subject, Daniel, I told you, like I’ve always told you. It’s off limits, I don’t even know the full story what gives you the right?!”
You can scream at me later. Go find him. Now. You know his car and I also know you can feel him, despite you being a fucking liar about that little bit of information.
“If you hear from him, text me. I’ll find him.”
Louis did a U-Turn and headed back towards the studio where he knew the interviews were being done. He aptly closed his mind to Daniel and searched for Lestat’s heartbeat. He felt panic immediately.
It didn’t take long before he could see the orange flickering of flames, his heart picked up speed and his stomach dropped. “Fuck!”
Once he was close enough, he could tell right away it was his maker’s car. In flames and he couldn’t see him anywhere. He could have flown out of here, that was always a possibility.
But then he could hear the murmuring, crying, soft, frantic, like praying. He followed the sound to an out of use bus stop canopy. Lestat had pushed himself as far as possible into one of the rusted corners, gripping his hair, and rocking over and over.
Louis still couldn’t make out what it was he was saying. “Les…hey, can you hear me? What the happened?” He asked as he glanced at the car steadily burning. But if Lestat knew he was there he gave no indication.
He lowered himself down to the ground carefully on one knee, leaning over to assess if he was hurt. “Lestat?” he spoke again, a little louder than before.
This time Lestat made connection with a voice and lurched back violently, banging the back of his head against the structure as he began screaming. “Non! Non! Aide-moi s'il te plaît !
“Whoa! Les, it’s me! It’s me!” He wasn’t sure if Lestat’s legs were hurt but he continued to crawl backwards, screaming ‘no’ over and over again in French.
His former husband’s stare was far past him, not focusing on Louis at all, and now he began to realize what it was Lestat was repeating over and over again. It was indeed praying, a book from the bible, Psalms, he was almost sure. Jesus Christ, what the fuck happened?
He tried to keep himself calm, not to raise his heartrate. He’d never seen Lestat like this, not in a delirious, dissociative state where he might as well be miles away. Lestat was dramatic and emotional about so many things, but this? This was pure terror.
“Les,” he tried again, “Honey…can you look at me? Please?”
Suddenly, without warning, Lestat was sobbing, the force of it coming out like a hiccup, loud and painful. His rambling evolved into shouting, his eyes glazed red.
He doesn’t reach out, not at first, that would be disastrous, but he continued to crouch, giving the other room. He would never have known it was a book from Psalms if not for his brother Paul. Why was he begging God? He searched his memory for the story of Magnus, Lestat had always been infuriatingly vague, never allowing Louis too many details. What he did know for sure, it wasn’t Lestat’s choice. None of it had been, and it wasn’t just his turning. Although never told directly, Louis knew the monster that made him had tortured him, for days, amongst a throng of dead bodies. He was all but certain he’d been raped. Kept drunk, starved, and wounded, he never had a chance.
He balanced on his heels as Lestat continued to sob, deep, from the depths of his chest, they seemed to overtake him as his body shook.
Fuck, Louis thought. That’s what this is. He’s reliving it.
He kept his voice low, even, like one might speak to a child.
“Les, baby, you’re safe. You’re safe, he isn’t here, it isn’t happening.” He carefully pressed fingertips to the top of Lestat’s hand. “Honey…Les, look at me. You’re safe.” He repeated it over and over like his former lover had the psalm.
“You’re not really here.” His voice arrived out of delusion, worn from obvious screaming. “I thought he was dead. I was sure he was dead. But he’s still here. He’s here and I can’t…I don’t…I don’t know…I-I’m trapped. There’s n-no one, n-no one to pull me back…the Lord is mighty…the Lord has chastened me severely, but he has not given me over to death. Why not give me death!”
Louis’s eyes began to burn and his chest seized, since the other hadn’t jerked away, he carefully took his hand. Not holding on, just making contact. “Sweetheart, you’re not alone. I’m right here. I found you…I’ve been looking for you. Everyone’s worried about you.”
“Liar…no one cares least of all you.” he cried, turning his face, the curtain of his blood damp hair had begun to stick to his cheeks.
“That ain’t true Lestat, I know you’re feeling lost right now. But I’m here…you see me? I’m here.” He moved sideways, carefully and calculated. “Oh honey, please look at me.”
When Lestat finally made eye contact, he flinched, as if only now realizing it was indeed Louis speaking to him. A new look of terror broke his already tragic features, the tears flowing with a brand new fervor.
“Louis?” his voice broke, “L-Louis?”
“Yeah, baby, it’s me. It’s just me. Only me and you. No one here to hurt you.”
Now his eyes were locked, blue on green, the blood tears ran silently. “Where am I?”
“Toronto, on some off ramp. You took off in your car after getting really upset. You remember that?” He almost slipped Daniel had contacted him, but he knew that would be devastating in his current state. The return of his stutter was a burning red flag.
As the adrenaline no doubt began to wane, Lestat began to shake. “N-No, where was I? B-Before here…h-he was…followed me…in the car.” His eyes wondered over to the still burning wreck. “Louis…he was t-there.”
Louis almost lost his balance as his maker fell against him in exhaustion without warning. He had no idea how hurt Lestat was, but he knew he needed to get him somewhere warm, quiet, and safe.
“Doesn’t matter, I found you, didn’t I?” He pulled Lestat into his lap, careful where his hands landed. “Baby, let’s get you out of here. Somewhere safe, okay? The place I’m staying ain’t far from here. Come on, I’ll help you, I’m not leavin’.”
Lestat’s chest heaved, his whole body shuddering. “You will leave…everyone leaves…they get what they want from me….a good story…a good fuck…I’m too m-much….too much to l-love. I want to die I wish I could die, Louis, Louis please, d-don’t, please don’t l-leave me here in the dark. I k-know you can’t l-love me but please…”
Louis closed his eyes against the welling of hot tears. “No, no chérie, stop. Let’s get out of here. I’ve got you, I’m here. ” Louis urged him from the ground, taking the brunt of his weight. He took advantage of the sudden closeness and pressed lips to his temple, holding him up in an embrace. “Shhh, I got you.” A sob bubbled out of Lestat’s mouth like a gunshot, as soon Louis kissed his cheek with care the older vampire’s legs gave out completely.