Work Text:
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
It had to be a joke. It had to be.
He just stared at me, his face void of any emotion. I couldn't see the love in his eyes that I had grown so accustomed to. No sign that would say that this was all a joke, one fucking stupid sick joke.
"Are you fucking kidding me!?" I repeated. This time the shock of what he said no longer there to hide the emotions that was streaming out of my mouth, the emotions that would undoubtedly be all over my face as well.
"Harry please. Just listen to me." He said softly, barely even a whisper.
"No Louis! No! You fucking listen to me. How the hell do you expect me to do that!? No Louis, I tried. I really fucking tried". I could no longer hold back the tears that I had been straining to keep in. "Do you know that this is the first time that I've cried since Zayn told me? You couldn't even tell me yourself you fucking coward. I had to hear it from Zayn, and even then I had to force it out of him because I had no idea why you were avoiding me. I can't believe I was pathetic enough to believe that you were avoiding me because of something that I had done. I spent a whole week blaming myself for screwing us up."
Hi you have reached the message that I have recorded that is supposed to inform you that I am not near my phone. So please leave your message after the tone. Beep.
"Hey Lou-Bear. I know it has only been two hours but I miss you. Listen, I'm going to have to take a rain check on our really exciting dinner plans of staying in and watching Shrek and eating really healthy greasy takeouts. My mom called and said something about her mother being really sick, so I’m going to be going home for the long weekend. I already cleared it with management. I know we had plans but to make up for it I made lasagne. It's in the oven. Love you. Miss you already."
*************************************
"Lou. I'm home." I sang feeling rather happy. My grandmother was going to be okay, my mom was just overreacting. "Loooooooooou!"
Thats weird.
"Lou?" I searched the entire flat but no sign of Louis. I couldn't help but feel a little worried. Whenever I came back from visiting my family Louis would always be home, as soon as I would step through the door I would be tackled to the ground. Louis would ramble about how he missed me and how lonely it was without me, and then we would order in and invite the guys over. It was tradition.
I picked up my phone and called Louis. Nothing. Straight to voicemail. I immediately called Niall. If Louis ever felt lonely when I was away he would sometimes sleep over at Niall's. Niall always had a way of cheering people up.
"Hello"
"Hey Niall, is Lou with you?"
"What, no how are you's?"
"Niall. Just, do you know where Louis is?"
"Don't get your knickers in a knot. Probably with Eleanor."
"Eleanor? Why is he with Eleanor?"
"Uhm, maybe because, I dunno, they are together"
I forgot that Louis and I haven't told the boys about us yet, with the exception of Zayn who kinda walked in on us. One of the most awkward moments of my life, but I was glad that someone other than Louis and me knew. It really is nice to be able to talk to someone about Louis who isn't Louis or that voice inside my head.
"Oh, yeah right. Thanks Niall. Bye."
I didn't wait for an answer before hanging up. I contemplated phoning Zayn but felt like I needed to talk to him in person. I also wanted to show him the promise ring that I bought for Louis. I thought about an engagement ring, but seeing that we aren't exactly 'out' yet, I decided against it and got a promise ring instead.
I quickly unpacked my bags and was soon off to Zayn's with the promise ring safely in my jackets inside pocket. When I got to Zayn's flat I let myself in. We all had keys to each other’s place, if one of us wanted privacy then the door would be latched.
"Zayny! Your favorite curly head is here."
"Harry! Youre back! And...You are in a surprisingly good mood.."
"Why wouldn't I be? It was really nice to just get away, as much as I love you guys, the break was good. AND my Gran isn't dying." I said with a grin.
"You haven't spoken to Louis yet have you?" Zayn said with a frown.
"What do you mean 'you haven't spoken to Louis yet'?" I said feeling really confused.
"Uhm...nothing. Just make sure you speak to him soon, okay."
"...Okay? That's actually why I'm here. Have you seen Louis? He wasn't in the flat when I got home and he isn't answering his phone."
"I actually haven't seen or heard from him today, the last I saw him was yesterday when he picked up some clothes from your fla..." Zayn's eyes widened at what he just let slip.
"He picked up clothes from the flat?" I asked feeling more confused than ever.
"Uhh...he probably took it to get dry cleaned or something."
"Okay." I said not really knowing what else I could say. I had this nagging feeling that something was off but quickly brushed it off remembering the ring. "Oh Zayn. What I actually came here for was to show you this." I said taking out the ring from my pocket.
Zayn's eyes widened in shock and what I thought was a flash of something else, guilt? But I brushed it off. "You are going to propose to Louis?" he said in disbelief.
"Don't worry Zayn, it is waaaay too soon for that. I mean you are the only person that knows about us, so it wouldn't really make sense. No, it's a promise ring. I really really love Louis and I do want to get married to him someday but not right now. So what do you think?"
"It's a nice ring."
"That's all you have to say? That it's nice?"
"I don't really know what to say."
"It's too soon isn't it? God I'm such an idiot."
"Harry, don't say that. You are anything but an idiot. It's just, it is just that I don't really know about this."
"Alright, I'll sleep on it. It's getting really late, I should head home. Louis is probably waiting for me."
"Okay, I'll see you soon"
"Zayn."
"Yeah?"
"Thanks"
Zayn just stayed silent with a worried expression on his face.
*************************************
The past week was one of the worst weeks of my life. Without a doubt I know that Louis has been avoiding me. When I got home after leaving Zayn's, Louis wasn't home. I tried calling but after three rings it went to voicemail, which means he doesn't want to speak to me.
We had an interview yesterday. It was the first time that I saw him since I got back. He hasn't been by the flat, hasn't returned any of my phone calls or texts. I'm slowly going mad. I haven't been able to sleep without him next to me. The makeup artist had a fit when she saw me. She took about ten minutes trying to conceal the bags under my eyes.
What hurts is that I don't know what I did. Louis wouldn't speak to me at the interview; he wouldn't even acknowledge my existence. Not so much as a 'hi' or even a nod, he wouldn't even look at me. He completely ignored me when I tried to speak to him and as soon as the interview was over, he left.
To say that I am devastated would be an understatement. I can't handle this pain, this uncertainty. The uncertainty of whether or not Louis will come back, whether or not he will forgive me, for whatever I did. I need someone to comfort me, someone to tell me that everything would be okay. There was only one person that I could turn to, only one person who knew anything about Louis and me, but I'm not ready to speak to Zayn yet. I need something that will help me forget.
*************************************
"Harry do you have any idea what ti.. Are you drunk?" Zayn asked as he opened his front door to a disheveled Harry.
"Well no...no shit Sherlock" I slurred "Are you going to let me in or ju.. or just stare at me?"
Zayn closed the door behind me as I stumbled into his apartment. Looking around I realised that he had been sleeping, but I couldn't give a shit. I was pissed out of my mind and heartbroken. I needed someone.
"Za.. Zayn. Why is he ignoring me?"
"Harry" Zayn started to plead, the sleep still evident in his voice.
"Zayn p.. please. I know you know something. I just want to know what I did so I can say sorry to him, so I can have my Louis back" I could feel my eyes tearing up.
"Harry. This is really something that Louis need to tell you."
"Well Zayn, I don't really know if you've noticed, but Louis and aren't exactly speaking!"
"Harry, please don't make me do this"
With that I broke down, Zayn quickly pulled me into a hug. I couldn't hold back my sobs. An entire weeks worth of heartache pouring out onto Zayn's bare shoulder.
"Zayn. Plea..please just te..tell me." I said between sobs. "I..I just need to make thi..this better"
I could see in Zayn's eyes that I was slowly winning, slowly forcing the truth out of him. I knew I had won when Zayn sighed.
"This is going to be really difficult for you to understand. Hell! I don't even know why he did it."
"Did what?"
"Harry. Louis..Louis proposed to Eleanor. They're...they're getting married"
And just like that. With that one single sentence, my entire world came crashing down around me, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it.
"Louis. You could've asked any of the boys. But no! You had to be a cruel bastard and ask me!"
"I don't want anyone else to be my best man. You're my best frien.."
"BEST FRIEND!! Do best friend's fuck? Do best friends say they love each other? I can't believe I was so stupid enough to believe that you actually loved me"
"But Harry, I do lov.."
"Don't even finish that sentence. I can't do this. I thought I was strong enough but clearly I'm not. I can't be around you anymore. Each time I look at you it hurts, each time I look at you I'm reminded of what is no longer mine. I can't Louis. I...I can't. "
I couldn't bear to look at his face. I have no idea what his emotions were, I couldn't tell if he was sorry. I couldn't tell if he was guilty.
"I'll phone Simon in the morning. I can't do any of this anymore. I can't deal with having to work with you everyday. I'll come and get my things soon, all of my things will be out of your life by the end of the week, and so will I"
As I was walking out I remembered something. I turned around to face Louis. I took the promise ring out of my pocket.
"I was going to give this to you. I may not mean much to you but you meant the world to me"
And with that I left the flat. Leaving behind the promise ring on the table and a very broken Louis.