Chapter Text
chapter one - powder keg, spark
It wasn’t meant to bleed into real life. Was the thing.
Victoria Javadi handled her crush-bordering-on-outright-lust on Dr. McKay the same way she handled everything else in her life out of necessity: with brutal efficiency.
She ignored it when at work, primarily.
Tried to make the way she trailed after McKay on every case excitedly, face open and happy, intently listening, seem like it was just how she was with everyone. Even though it obviously wasn’t.
Then, she’d go home and write down a few things she couldn’t get out of her head like:
- Her sweaty bangs after a long shift or
- I wonder how soft her hands are or
- she looked at me so kindly today I wanted to touch her face
And more frequently as of late, as the weather heated up and it began to rest on bare skin
- that gold chain
- Her goddamn chain
- That fuckass c h a i n
- I just wish she would [redacted] I want to —— her so bad I -
When she got into a scribbling tangent like this, face flushed with embarrassment and want, it often led to the last resort step of her management plan:
Touch herself about it.
But, like she said. It wasn’t supposed to get out of “hand”. Ha.
But that all changed when the fire nation attacked when, in the middle of July, McKay was accosted by a scared and angry patient.
It happened so fast. One minute, Victoria was stepping out to ask Perlah for more sterile gauze. The next, she was coming back into the room as the suture supplies were crashing to the ground, as the college boy was hopping to his feet and trying to tower threateningly over McKay.
“What the fuck man, you said it wasn’t going to HURT - you lying b-“
“HEY” Victoria yelled with more authority than she knew she could possess, although if it did come out a little shrill and panicky, who could blame her.
She stormed into the room, grabbing the boy by the front of his shirt, made easy only by the shock of her arrival. She loosened her grip after a moment and shoved him back down into the padded chair.
“I need help in here!” She called out the thankfully still open door. Jesse came bounding in quickly.
“Hold him,” she said as calmly as she could, heart pounding, “or stand by him. I think it’s ok now but he - he jumped up at Cassie,” the first name just slipped out, naturally. Even though it was the first time she’d said it outside of babysitting, where McKay wouldn’t let her call her “Doctor.”
“I mean- Dr. McKay,” she corrected, and finally turned to look at the woman still sitting on the stool, “are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Cassie breathed out, shakily, cradling her right arm, but her eyes were somewhere else. And it was only then that Victoria noticed her right hand was bleeding. Probably from when the instrument tray crashed. Fuck.
Victoria swung back to look at Jesse, panicked.
“I’ve got him. Take her.” He reassured with a knowing, soft smile.
“Okay,” Victoria said to him, and then again more quietly to Cassie as she kneeled down in front of her, “Okay. Cassie, come on. I’m taking you into another room, let’s get you cleaned up.”
“I’m fine.” McKay said, finally coming back to herself and resisting the idea that she needed to be cared for at all. Victoria ignored this claim, and made her stand with a gentle tug under her armpit.
“You’re bleeding!” She affirmed, stubbornly.
McKay looked down at the top of her hand, and the inch long gash there.
“Oh. Fuck.” She fully stood at last and followed Victoria out into the hall.
Victoria dropped her arm to help preserve her dignity, knowing she wouldn’t want her coworkers to worry too much.
“Go into room 3,” she murmured softly, heart aching when the older woman listened far too easily, quickly disappearing.
She walked up to Central and updated Dana on what had happened, taking the necessary work comp paperwork after successfully begging the charge nurse to let Cassie fill it out herself, so that they wouldn’t need another resident or attending to supervise.
“Fine. Go take care of your doc. I’ll let Robby now.”
Your doc. Your doc.
No Victoria, now wasn’t the time. Stop.
She relaxed her face and headed toward the room down the hall.