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After everything with Denny, Lloyd, and Fitz dying, Six had been taking Claire from safe house to safe house with hours of roadtripping in between. He would've done it forever if that's what it took to keep her safe. But Six didn't just want Claire safe, he wanted her happy and living her best thirteen year old life, and she can't do that when she isn't staying in one place for more than a month. 

So, Six found himself out of options. Obviously he's not a suitable caretaker, evident by the unsustainable lifestyle he's been forcing onto Claire. She didn't deserve any of the danger he brought with him. 

—

“Claire.”

They're in another safe house, a cute little bakery that was temporarily out of business and happened to have a very secure basement. Claire looked up from her corner of the room where she had been doodling on some receipt paper, inviting him to continue.

“I want to take you somewhere. Somewhere more– more permanent. You shouldn't have to spend your childhood like this,” he kept glancing around like he didn't want to look at her, like he let her down. “I know someone that might let us crash with them,” or at least you, he thought.

Claire's eyes widened as she looked at him.

“I mean, if you don't want to then I won't make you– but, I just thought that.. Well– I just wanted to–.”

She cut him off, “Six. That– that sounds great! I didn't know you knew anyone else? More CIA?” When he didn't respond and avoided looking at her, she continued. “Wow, Claire! I'm so happy you like my idea. No, it's not more CIA, it's my long lost sibling from the good ol’ days, thanks for asking.”

“Wh– Claire–”

She cut him off, again, “Six that's so interesting! I didn't know you had any family, tell me more! I'm so happy you're finally opening up to me after we've been with each other for so long.” She stared up at him through her eyelashes as if daring him to challenge her.

“What, are you some kinda psychic now? Let’s go.”

—

It was currently the second day of the two weeks of spring break, and Ryland had invited Colt and Jody to come hang out at his flat. He didn't really have any plans on what they'd do, probably watch TV (“Not Ryder, Ry, please I can't take any more of him. I think I've met my quota for the decade.”) and bitch about life. But Jody, being the wonderful woman she is, decided to bring cookies and icing to decorate, just for fun.

This is how they end up at his kitchen table, drinking, decorating and ranting.

Ryland takes one of Colt’s cookies (“hey!”) from his plate, “and then he's like, oh but Mr. Grace, I didn't do the homework because I had a dream you said it was optional,” he takes a bite and waves the rest around to emphasize his story, “and he got upset when I said that didn't count!!” 

“Fucking Kevin,” Colt sighs.

Jody laughs at the two and holds up her glass, “I'll drink to that.”

Ryland and Colt both go to raise their glasses to meet hers, until suddenly someone knocks at the door.

Jody glances at Ryland, confused, “are you expecting someone else?” He shakes his head and gets up to answer the door. Maybe it was a neighbor who needed something, or they (Colt) were being too loud about what they hoped would happen to certain coworkers after being particularly annoying on set.

Either way, he opens the door. “Hey, how can I help.. you..” he trails off as he sees the ghost in the doorway, who stares right back at him.

They must've been just looking at each other a bit too long, because Colt puts his hand on Ryland’s shoulder and asks who's at the door, until he looks for himself and is similarly stunned. Unlike his twin, however, Colt quickly recovers.

“What the fuck?!”

—

Claire isn't sure where Six is taking them. He must've been thinking about this for awhile, because in the past couple months she noticed all their safe houses hadn't been more than a couple hours outside of San Francisco, which seems to be where they're headed. 

She doesn't know anyone in San Fran, and Six's vague (and slightly ominous) explanation of who they were seeing only raised more questions in her mind. He said a long lost sibling wasn't far off, but did he mean the long lost part or the sibling part? Did he have a partner that he could only visit in between his CIA gigs? Did he have a sister who worked for the FBI and knew a guy who could help them out? She had no idea.

She knows she shouldn't, but she's kind of been zoning out the entire three hour car ride thinking about this. She knows she should be more aware of her surroundings, but any personal details about Six were just so much more interesting than the types of cars they were passing on the highway.

She must've zoned out a bit too much though, because the car suddenly came to a stop in a driveway and Six was getting out of the car, moving to open the backdoor for her. She grabs her singular backpack and follows him to the front door, watching as he knocks. 

Claire notices that Six seems nervous. She's so used to his stoic, blasé demeanor that him being unsettled kind of worries her. The only other time she can remember him being like this is when he mentioned coming here in the first place.

She glances at him out of the corner of her eye again, and it seems like he gets more restless the longer it takes someone to answer the door. Claire is betting on a partner. If nothing else, she thinks he deserves someone to come home to, someone to take care of him. Claire is pretty sure the last person he had that was there for him was her uncle, and he got him into the CIA in the first place.

Her thoughts are interrupted when Six answers the door– wait. What? No, it's not Six, Six is standing next to her with his hand on her shoulder, his nervousness manifesting in a tight grip. Now that she looks at him, the man at the door, though he does look like Six, is so undeniably different. His hair is brighter, his clothes are comfier, his skin is smoother, and his eyes look less haunted. 

Well, actually she's not sure about that last one. He and Six are staring at each other, both looking completely out of their element. It isn't until another man comes, this one looking disturbingly similar to the original mystery guy at the door, that someone breaks the tense silence that was accumulating between the three of them.

“What the fuck?! Ryland who the fuck is that?? This has to be some kind of sick joke.” 

The new guy turns to look at the first man, Ryland, who seems to be coming back to himself, “I don't– Colt–”, but his babbling is cut short by a woman who must've heard the commotion, or wondered what was taking her counterparts so long.

Jesus, how many people did Six know? Is there a whole circus in there? Maybe before he was recruited he was in a travelling theater company.

“Colt, Ry, what's taking so long? Who is this?”

“Yeah,” says Colt, staring at Six with emotions in his eyes that Claire can't quite pinpoint. “Who are you?” he asks, but it didn't really sound like a question.

Six seems to finally come back to himself. He squeezes her shoulder again, and she's not sure who he's trying to comfort. She doesn't think it's her, because, quite frankly, she has no idea what's happening. This whole exchange has had her head spinning between looking between these random people and Six, and she's not sure any of them even realize she's here. He opens his mouth to answer, but before he can say anything, he's being tackled.

Ryland has his arms around Six's neck, and at first Claire tenses up, ready to attack him and protect the only family she has left, but then she realizes that Ryland is crying and mumbling at Six instead of hurting him. She can only really catch bits and pieces, something about Court, oh my God, and how is this possible and please come inside, with a tone that Claire didn't think Six (Court?) could refuse if he tried. He didn’t look like he wanted to refuse either, he actually looked pretty relieved.

— 

Colt is so confused. 

He doesn't understand how his night can go from pretty fucking perfect, spending it with his two favorite people in the world, to having his heart ripped open and brain scrambled. 

Ryland dragged Court inside of his flat, though he doesn't think Court needed much convincing, given the fact he came here. He brings him past the kitchen table with the cookies to his living room and encourages Court to sit with him on the couch. Colt watches, kind of stunned. This is so, so, surreal.

He turns as Jody gently grabs his arm, and stares at her wide–eyed. He's mentioned having brothers to her accidentally, but he never knew if she picked up on it because she never said anything about an estranged mystery sibling. She looks at him with a look of, well, not quite understanding, because he doesn't think anyone understands what's happening, but maybe knowing. Knowing that yes, he did have another brother besides Ryland, and realizing that even though no one said it, the way they reacted and their appearances told her everything she needed to know. For now.

She moves to guide him to the living room, spurring him out of his shock. It's only when they join the others that he realizes Court didn't come alone. 

He points at the brunette girl standing near Court, “who is that?” The silence that follows makes him realize that Court and Ryland were talking before, and about what, he has no idea. This is so weird. This would be a great movie. He files that idea away for later to pitch to Jody, he knows she has ideas in her head for when she makes her big break.

Court interrupts his train of thought when he answers Colt, “this is Claire. I'm taking care of her.”

What? What the fuck does that mean? “So– so what you, you die in prison and show up twenty–six years later with, what, your daughter? Holy shit. What the fuck.” Colt's shock is very quickly evolving into anger, “I mean, God, Court, where the fuck have you been?? Did you just decide that after going to prison you didn't want to deal with us anymore, so you, what, you– you asked them to tell us you died?? We were only fourteen when we found out! We weren’t even as old as you were when you left!” He's shouting now, and he doesn't even know if he means what he's saying. What is he saying? What the hell is happening?

Jody puts her hand on his arm again. He feels kind of embarrassed for his outburst, but he sees Ry turn to Court on the couch and his eyes say that he wants to hear Court's answer to Colt's questions. He glances at Court, who seems uncomfortable, which further seems justified to Colt. His eyes travel more to the girl next to him, and she seems confused, scared, and very, very young. 

Court follows his eyes to the girl, Claire, and he smiles at her, which seems to make her feel a little better. “She's not my daughter. She’s– well– listen, I couldn't, I mean, I wanted to–” he cuts himself off with a frustrated sigh, “the only thing I ever wanted was to come back.”

—

Ryland watches as Jody and Colt sit on the loveseat next to the couch, watching as Court tries to explain himself. He felt a little bad at the way Colt yelled at him, but he also didn't at all because he felt the same way and had the same questions. It must be their twintuition. 

He sees as Court seems to manually shut off the part of himself that made him look on–edge since Ryland opened the door. Apparently he didn’t lose that power, the one where he can just turn himself off, from when they were kids. He listens as Court tells them a very stilted story that seems more like a report, and definitely not the full version. 

“After I got taken in, I was there for the two years you visited me for, and then at nineteen I got recruited to join a secret government program led by her uncle,” Court glances at the girl next to him. She seems intrigued, maybe she's never heard this either. Ryland glances at Colt, noting that when Court was twenty three, they were fourteen when someone came to their door and told them their brother was killed in a prison riot. Court doesn't seem to notice their shared looks of realization as he continues, “I was trained for a couple months, and then for the next eighteen years I did what they told me because they promised that it would keep you two safe and happy. That's all I’ve ever really wanted, anyway.”

— 

Ryland gets Court and Claire set up in the second bedroom in his two–bedroom flat. After showing them the basics, he leaves them to get settled and goes to join Colt where he's still on the loveseat, Jody comforting him the best she can.

Before he sits down, he goes to the kitchen and grabs the rest of the wine bottle they opened, bringing it with him to his twin and his girlfriend. He opts to sit on the floor next to Colt and Jody instead of by himself on the couch. 

They sit in silence for a minute until Colt interrupts, “I can't believe it's him. Are you sure it's actually him here and we all aren't hallucinating? Jody, did you bring acid or something? Oh my God, this can't be happening. God, I'm so pissed at him, what a fucking bitch.” He turns to look at Jody, “can you believe this guy? What the hell.”

“Colt, love, if we were all hallucinating how would I know what your older brother, who you've never mentioned, would look like?” Jody is so sensible. Ryland thinks she's perfect and that Colt should marry her with the ring he helped him pick out. “Also,” she slaps him in the back of his head (“–ow!”) “Why did you not tell me about him?! I thought I knew everything about you Colton Grace, why am I just now finding out you have a brother who ‘died’ in prison!”

Despite her words, Ryland watches as Colt looks at her like she is his guiding light, and, in turn, she smiles back, telling him she will be with him no matter what.

—

The next morning is strange. Six wakes up and at first he feels his heart try to beat out of his chest because he doesn't recognize where they are, but then he spots Claire curled up next to him on the bed and it all comes back to him. 

He gives himself a couple seconds to get himself together before he gets up and leaves the room. He finds the twins there, easy conservation stopping as he enters the room. Six’s eyes widen as they both stare at him. “Listen– I understand if you guys don't want me here, but Claire needs somewhere to stay. She shouldn't be running around with me. She needs to be a kid.” 

He must've said the wrong thing because Colt looks kind of pissed off and Ryland just seems confused. They look at each other and have their own conservation without saying anything, which always freaks him out, and Ryland says, “Why wouldn't we want you?” Which, normally, would be nice, except Colt, at the same time says, “you’re seriously trying to leave again?”

Now, Six is confused. How could they not see that he's dangerous? He ruined their lives as kids, it only makes sense that he’d eventually do the same to Claire. He doesn’t want to leave. What he wants has never mattered. The only consistency in his life has been violence, whether or not he asked for it. He has no idea how to respond, how to make them understand that they're better off without him. Thankfully, he's saved because Colt doesn't seem to care about what he would've said.

“Court.” Hearing that name is so jarring. He hasn’t been Court for eighteen years. He was barely even Court in prison, everyone just called him kid, condescendingly or worryingling. Some kind of conflict or distress or something must show on his face, Jesus Christ he needs to get it together, because Colt looks– well he still looks irritated, but not as much. “Court, you need to get checked into a psych ward if you think we are gonna let you leave again.” 

Ryland is nodding furiously. “He’s right. We need you. That kid looks like she needs you.”

“But we’re still mad at you! Don’t get it twisted.”

Six thinks he might start crying, so he starts shutting that shit down right away. Crying never helped him– actually, he thinks it has always done the opposite. “There’s not enough space for me here. Claire’s not gonna put up with sharing a room with a man who’s triple her age for long. And– and you’re a teacher, Ry, you can’t provide for both of us and yourself.”

“Cory,” Colt is looking him dead in the eye, and Court is suddenly very unsettled. “Come stay with me and Jody. It's a bigger house, less crowded. We make more than– sorry Ry– a middle school teacher’s salary, especially combined. I– I want you to come stay. Ry, you can come too, like a big sleepover during spring break.”

This is how Court finds himself waking up Claire and telling her they're gonna go to Colt’s house, but she really gets excited when she hears he has a pool.

— 

They've been here for a couple days now. Court has watched as Claire slowly becomes more alive, the way a teenager should be. Well, he doesn't really know, he doesn't even remember what he liked to do as a kid, besides protecting the twins. Actually, he thinks the last time he had a hobby he did just for fun was before their mom died, when their dad wasn’t as terrible. The twins probably don't even remember her that much, they were only two when she passed. He was eleven, and suddenly so much more grown.

Anyway, Claire is settling in and it's great. Colt was right, his house is much bigger than Ry’s flat. He gets to stay in his own room, which kind of makes him uncomfortable. What do you put in a room? Claire has her own room too, Colt and Jody have their own room already, obviously, and for now Ryland is staying on the couch until break ends and he has to leave. He makes a mental note to talk to him about Claire going to school with him. Speaking of, she has taken to his brothers like a house on fire, and everyone is getting along great.

Court feels like– well– he's actually not sure. He finds that now that he doesn't have a purpose, he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't think he's properly slept since Sierra Four died, and he still doesn't know if he can. He's ultimately proven wrong when, on the third night at Colt’s house, his sleep deprivation and exhaustion from being tense and paranoid catches up to him and he passes out, sleeping for almost a whole day. Even when he wakes up, he almost can't bring himself to get out of bed. He just feels so tired. It’s kind of pathetic, actually.

Court decides to stay in bed for a little longer, he can't really justify to himself using the energy to get up. Everyone is probably busy anyway, and he wouldn’t be helpful anywhere.

It's maybe forty minutes later when his door opens and Claire comes in. He notices that she leaves the lights off and closes the door behind her, but he doesn't have it in him to turn his head and look at her. 

“Six– er, Court?” He doesn’t know which one he wants her to call him. It doesn’t matter. He hums at her. “Um, I just– I haven't seen you all day..” She sounds nervous, maybe kind of worried. How could he do that to her on top of everything he's already done? He forces himself to sit up and look at her, hoping the smile on his face is convincing.

“I'm just a little tired, it's been a long couple of months.”

“Okay, yeah. Do you want to come outside with me and everyone? Uncle Colt and Ry seem happier when you're with them.”

It makes something in his chest feel lighter to have her call his brothers ‘uncle’. Just having her silently confirm she still considers him family, even now that he’s not her only option. Besides that, though, she’s a conniving and manipulative demon. It doesn’t even matter to him that she’s lying to try and get him up, he would’ve gone just because she asked him to. Not only because he’s been trained (forced?) to listen most of his life, but because she has him wrapped around her finger, ready to do whatever she asks.

This is how Six finds himself sitting on the grass in the San Franciscan heat, watching Jody braid Claire's hair while Ry tries to teach Colt how to play chess. He doesn't belong here. He's glad he came back to his brothers, if only because Claire seems happier, but he isn't sure that him being here is benefitting anyone beyond her having a more stable lifestyle. That’s okay, all he’s ever been good for is keeping the people he cares about safe. He’s been through way fucking worse, anyway, so really sitting by himself in the grass in the backyard of his brother who hates him because he abandoned him and his twin nearly thirty years ago while he watches everyone else relax and enjoy themselves is a piece of cake. He’s doing great! Sometimes he misses the forced closeness of prison. It doesn’t matter.

— 

Colt isn't really listening to what his brother is telling him. They've been here before, and, really, he just doesn't care about chess at all. He's more focused on his other brother, the one sitting in the grass staring out at nothing. In the few days since Court and Claire showed up, Colt sees less and less of him. He was secretly scared today that Court left again, but then Claire dragged him out of his room to come be outside with them. He’s not really with them, though, most of the time he seems like his mind is somewhere else.

Ryland notices that he isn't paying attention, and follows his eyes to where he's looking, only to turn back to Colt. “Does he seem happy to you? It's like after he showed up and made sure Claire was okay that he doesn't wanna be here anymore.” Colt sees the look of worry in his eyes, and he continues, “I mean, I hate to say it but I don't remember if he was like this while we were kids. He just seems like, I dunno, empty?” He turns to Colt with wide eyes, “I mean, he didn't really talk about what he went through with Claire, or even before that, but from what she mentioned about how he saved her, it couldn't have been good. I don't– Colt I don't like not knowing what happened to him.”

Colt looks between his brothers, between Ryland's concern and Court's, well, Court's nothing. “Dude, he’s a grown–ass man in his, wow, he’s forty–one now, Jesus Christ. If something’s bothering him that much he can just be a man and say it.”

“Haven't you seen the scars on him? It couldn't have been good, what he was doing. Especially working as a secret government agent, I mean, I’m sure you've seen movies about that. I don’t know. If I was forced to go on missions for the government doing God knows what, I probably wouldn’t want to talk about it either.”

Dear God, Ryland is such a teacher. So understanding. Sometimes Colt hates it, like, just let a guy bitch in peace. It’s even worse that he’s making good points. “I think Ryder did one kinda similar a couple of summers ago. Maybe Court’s like John Wick. Super assassin. Actually, John Wick shows more emotion than he does. He’s like a robot, like– like Terminator.”

Ry just looks at him kind of sad and super pathetically, “I just don’t have it in me to be mad at him,” he mumbles. “I just– we have no idea, well, I have some ideas, of what he’s had to do and– and I don’t know if he’s ever had anyone to tell what’s bothering him. I just can’t stop thinking about how alone he must’ve been.”

The conversation seems to end naturally, and it’s actually starting to get kind of dark out, so everyone starts heading inside and getting ready to sleep for the night. How does Court have it in him to sleep any more? That fucker has been passed out for like, twenty hours. Colt considers that being on the run while protecting a teenager could potentially be very mentally and physically taxing. He doesn’t like giving Court the benefit of the doubt. He goes to take a shower before anything else, which he didn’t think about how much that would make him, well, think. He supposes that, objectively, it’s not Court’s fault he went to prison. He understands that. He’s come to terms with the fact that if he were Court and it were either him or Ryland being wailed on by their dad to the point of having to make a choice, he would’ve done the same that Court did. He’s accepted that since Court has been gone. If anything, it’s always bothered him more that the jury found him guilty instead of declaring it self–defense, or whatever. 

So. Okay. Court is in prison from fifteen to.. What did he say? Twenty three? Jesus Christ. He had to celebrate his eighteenth and twenty–first birthday in there? Logically, Colt already knew that, but until a couple days ago he tried to not think about Court ever, so he’s only really processing it now. Alright– so, Court grew up in prison. Well, no, Court grew up being a barrier between their dad and the twins, and then he finished growing up in prison for killing him to protect Colt and Ry. Then– this guy (“His name was Fitz– Donald Fitzroy. He offered to commute my sentence in return for working as Sierra, a secret CIA subgroup. He also said he’d make sure you guys were living peacefully as away from the danger I’d bring as possible.”) takes Court in, and he molds him into a secret assassin for the government, where he spends his twenties and thirties doing God knows what. Then, suddenly, something happens and he has to save this little girl and take care of her after her uncle (Court’s father–figure?) dies. Holy shit.

Colt finishes his shower and goes to bed, where Jody is waiting. “Jodes, I think I fucked by being mad at Court.” She looks at him like she already figured this out, but it doesn’t annoy him like it would’ve from anyone else. 

“Colt.”

“I was thinking about it– and, and if I was him I think I would’ve done the same thing. All of it. He probably didn’t even really get to choose– I don’t– God I’ve been such a bitch and I don’t have any way to possibly understand what’s happened in his life–”

“Colt!”

“I mean, Jody, come on he clearly has some issues and this whole time I’ve been so cold to him–”

“COLT.”

He shuts up. He must be looking at Jody with the most pathetic puppy–dog eyes ever, because she softens up immediately and takes him in her arms. “It’ll be fine, Colt. It’s only been a couple days, and I’m sure he understands that it must be a shock to you and Ryland, having him come back from the dead. I think you guys should just try to talk to him.”

—

They've just finished eating dinner (“Anything you wanna eat tonight, Court?” “I'll eat anything I'm given, thank you.”) and are now at the dinner table playing Uno, per Claire's suggestion. Things are going as well as they can for Uno, until Ryland starts accusing Colt of cheating by hiding cards up his sleeve.

“You know, Colt, maybe I didn't get a degree in math or finance, but I can still fucking count! YOU CAN'T GET RID OF FOUR CARDS IN TWO ROUNDS!!”

“I’M NOT FUCKING CHEATING, DIPSHIT! JODY TELL HIM!!”

“I don't know, love. He made a good point..”

Colt and Ryland continue yelling at each other, Jody giggling in the background, until eventually Claire pipes up, “Wait, what did you get a degree in?” She must be a genius, because the disruption gets both the twins to stop screaming and focus on her.

“I got a doctorate in molecular biology. Why do you ask, Claire? Are you thinking about college?”

“Um, no I'm not even in high school yet. I was just curious. I wanna know more about you guys. What about you, Uncle Colt?” She turned to look at him, catching Six's–should she call him Court, now?– eye on the way. Maybe he didn't know this either, he would've been.. working at the time.

“I dropped out, school didn't make my heart sparkle.”

This makes Court laugh quietly to himself, and it's such a rare sound that everyone turns to look at him. “Sorry– it's just, it reminded me of all the times you got in trouble as a kid, even in preschool,” he explains as he mistakes Colt looking at him as him being offended, “you're better than me though, I never even graduated high school. Guess I'm kinda a deadbeat.”

Everyone is quiet for a minute, and Claire watches as Six gets progressively more uncomfortable. His eyes begin to look down at his cards and his leg starts to shake. “Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the mood.”

“No, Court it's okay,” Jody talks to him, and Colt thinks she is so smart and beautiful for trying to make his brother feel more human than he probably has in years, “if you went to university what would you have studied?”

When Court doesn't seem to have an answer, Ryland figures it's his turn to try and save the lightheartedness of the night. “Oh, Court, I remember when we were kids and you would talk to us about mythology, you told them as bedtime stories! Maybe you should be an English major.”

Colt nods along, “yeah, man, you always told us about the new ones you read from the school library. I think you stole the Odyssey from them.”

Claire gasps, “Six!! Isn't your tattoo of a guy from one of those books? The man with the boulder! You told me you'd let me know if he ever got to the top.”

“Sisyphus?” Jody asks, “he had a boulder he pushed up a mountain, but he never gets to the top, that's his divine punishment.”

“Dude, Cory, when did you get a Sisyphus tattoo?” Colt asks, “actually, why did you get a Sisyphus tattoo?”

“My cellmate gave it to me for my twenty–first birthday,” Court answers with an unexpected amount of fondness, “it felt fitting, especially after Fitz got me.” He pauses for a minute, and turns to Ryland and Colt, “I forgot I read you guys all of those. Too bad the copy I stole is probably long gone.”

The twins look at each other, and come to a silent agreement that tonight took a turn they didn't expect. “Maybe we should wrap up here, dude, I'm falling asleep into my hand,” Colt says, starting to collect cards from everyone.

Ryland agrees, “yeah, it's getting kinda late. Court, d’you wanna help me and Colt clean up?”

Claire and Jody must get the hint because they get up, talking about having a girls’ night and painting their nails. When they're out of earshot Colt rounds on his older brother, “Court.”

He glances up at Colt from his seat, “what.” He senses the tension in the room as he continues, “I didn't realize cleaning up Uno was code for interrogation.”

“We're not trying to interrogate you, Court–” Ryland starts, “just, you know you're not a deadbeat, right?”

“Ryland, I went to prison before I could take the SATs,” he chuckles to himself dryly, as if it’s obvious. “I've never even earned a real paycheck. I think that's the definition–”

“No, Court! You gave up your life to keep us safe, and you kept doing it for almost three decades!! You're a hero, our hero, Court. You saved us, you saved that little girl, and you can't give yourself the same chance.”

Colt clears his throat, “also, I, um, kept the copy of the Odyssey you stole. I'll go find it, you should have it. He took a while to come home too, you know.”

Court doesn't know what to say. He feels his eyes water and he wills the tears in them not to fall, because if he starts crying he doesn't know if he'll be able to stop. “You guys are doin’ too much for me. I– I left you and made you think I was dead. And what I said about my education was true, I can't get a job to help around the house, even if there weren't people looking for me and Claire.” He looks at his younger brothers, who are standing above him with protective looks full of love and sympathy. Six doesn’t understand this switch up from Colt, “I don't know why you want me here.”

—

Can they hear his heart breaking? Colt thinks they can. Holy shit, he doesn’t think he’s heard anything sadder in his life. It’s almost impressive, actually. Would Court let him and Jody make a movie inspired by him? Probably not.. he’ll wait a couple months to ask.

“Court, we want you here because we love you, and you don't owe anyone anything, anymore. You should just enjoy your life.” Ryland isn’t able to force his tears down the way Court can, “I can't believe you don't understand how much you mean to us.”

“I'm sorry.”

Colt groans, “Jesus Christ, Cory. We just want to help you be happy here.”

He looks at Colt, and all Colt can see is pure confusion with a side of misery, “I thought you hated me.”

He didn’t think his heart could break into any more pieces. “Well– look– I know I was hard on you before.. But I thought a lot about everything you’ve told us and I realized that I can’t really blame you for any of it. You’ve been a victim of circumstance your entire life and it’s– it’s not your fault, Court. Any of it.”

The misery overtakes the confusion, this time with a side of terror and pure, unadulterated sadness. Is that the same as misery? Colt doesn’t know. Court just looks really, really, sad and pitiful. 

They all sit in awkward, yet hopeful? Is that the right word?, silence. Colt wasn’t built for silence. This is killing him, oh my god. Court looks like he wants to be literally anywhere else and Ryland is staring at him with so much sadness it actually hurts to see. He has to do something. “So..” Court looks up at Colt, obviously confused about the change in tone. “What’s this about a cellmate?”

Colt doesn’t recall ever seeing Court blush, he got taken away too young to really have a high school girlfriend or anything–not that he or Ry would’ve been old enough to remember–and he didn’t really strike Colt as interested in that stuff anyway. So, the short-lived, wide-eyed and red-faced look he gets in response is kind of unexpected. “No way”. This is amazing. Holy fucking shit.

Ryland is finally broken out of his sorrow spell, “what? What happened?”

“Court has a prison girlfriend!”

“What?? No I don’t!”

“Yes you totally do! I see it in your face! You’re all red and shit, I’ve NEVER seen you like that!”

“You haven’t seen me at all for twenty–six years, how the fuck would you know what me having a girlfriend would look like! God forbid a man has a friend while he’s stuck in a cell.”

Ouch. Fair, but ouch. “Well you’re acting pretty defensive, soo.. Ry agrees with me, anyway.”

“WHAT! I didn’t say that! Even if it does seem like it, I’m willing to give Court the benefit of the doubt.”

“Oh my god, you’re such a pussy, Ry. Who is it Court, what’s her name??”

Court can’t believe what’s happening. “No! There’s no one, and even if there was, it’s been eighteen years, so it wouldn’t matter.” He doesn’t want to talk about this, thinking about his time in prison isn’t something that brings him joy. Who the fuck does Colt think he is? “Would you just fucking drop it and let me leave? I wanna go to bed.”

Colt messed up. Why did he think they were good enough now to tease Court like that about something that clearly upset him still? He just– when he was talking about whoever gave him that tattoo, it was the happiest Colt has seen him yet. What is wrong with him? “Okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push.”

“It’s fine.” Colt watches his older brother get up and go upstairs, likely to beat himself up some more. Colt’s such a piece of shit.

Once he’s gone, Ryland turns to his twin, “that was so his prison girlfriend.”

—

Six can’t sleep after his talk with Colt and Ry. So a couple hours later, when the house is quiet, he goes downstairs for a change of scenery, only to jump out of his skin when he sees Ryland staring at him at the bottom of the stairs from the couch. “Jesus fuck, Ry.”

“Sorry, I heard your footsteps. If it helps I couldn’t really tell it was you until you talked, my glasses are on the floor somewhere and I didn’t feel like searching. Plus it’s dark,” he giggles, “and you’re always dressed so darkly, so you blend in.” Then he looks a little concerned, “why are you up?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Couldn’t sleep, thinking about my lesson plans I need to make before I go back. Now answer me! I asked first.”

“I couldn’t sleep either.. I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about your school,” Six is suddenly nervous, and he doesn’t really know why. It might have something to do with his hatred of feeling indebted to people, he knows logically that Ryland would never try to hold something over him, but he can’t shake it. “Would– uh– would you be able to take Claire to middle school with you? I know she’d need to leave for high school next year anyway, but I think it’d be good for her.”

Ryland looks at him, smiling so uncomfortably fondly, “yeah, I’d love to take her. She is such a sweet kid, Court. You’ve done so well for her.” Six is glad it’s dark, because he has no idea what kind of face he’s pulling right now, but he’s sure it’s not the cool calm and collected persona he wants. “I’ll talk to her about getting registered tomorrow, I think it’d be good for her to make some friends in the district before high school, anyway. Especially because you guys are staying.”

Six is glad that Ry agreed, told him as such as thanked him, and then decided to head back upstairs to try and sleep. He can feel his life catching up to him. It isn’t until he’s in the doorway of his room that he realizes Ryland was assuming that he and Claire were staying indefinitely, and it kind of unsettles him how much the idea isn’t as scary anymore. 

—

Six wakes up to the sounds of screaming and splashing. He doesn't even think as he launches himself out of bed and towards the noise, which takes him to Colt's backyard, where he stops in the doorway as he sees Ryland and Claire playing volleyball in the water against Jody. Six can't breathe. He sees them playing, but he also sees Ryland drowning in the water, a hand forcing him under. He goes back inside to pull himself together. He can’t breathe. Why isn’t he over this by now? What's wrong with him? 

—

It’s maybe noonish, and everyone is outside enjoying the sun except Court, but Colt is trying to be more understanding. He doesn’t want to push him, because he thinks this may be the first time in a long time Court has chosen for himself what to do with his time. 

Colt wasn't in the pool, he was in the yard collecting a floatie that Ry threw overboard. He pauses when he hears the backdoor open, and sees Court looking terrified and on the verge of passing out from hyperventilating. He throws the floatie back into the pool (“I'm gonna go get something to drink, kick their asses Jody!”) and follows his brother inside.

Colt has no idea where Court went. How is he so quiet? It doesn't matter, he needs to find him before something happens. Colt checks the kitchen, the living room, the entire bottom floor, and then decides to look upstairs and he checks Court's room. As he's walking up the stairs, he hears labored breathing and.. sobbing? He bolts.

“Court! What–” he sees Court sitting against the wall, head between his knees with his hands pulling at his hair. He runs over and sits next to him, trying to coax his hands away and into his. “Hey, look at me. Cory, it's okay, it's me, Colt.” The only response Colt gets is frantic mumbling, apologies and I can'ts. Colt takes the hands that he's holding and places one against his chest, “breathe with me, it's okay.”

It's a couple minutes before Court's sobs wither down into sniffles, to which he then seems adamant on not looking at Colt, like, at all.

“Cory, c'mon, what happened? What the hell was that?” Colt huffs when he doesn't get a reply, “I mean, dude you've barely said anything since you've been here, and then I see you completely losing it. What the hell happened?” He's trying not to be frustrated, but, seriously. Although, on the other hand, he’s kind of been suspecting something like this was gonna happen sooner or later.

“I can't– Colt– I thought.. the water, it just.. I can't do this anymore.”

This sobers Colt up. Obviously, his older brother has seen things no one should have to live through. He doesn't even know if he can hope to understand most of his experiences, but he thinks he knows the one that Court is talking about intimately. “Oh, Court. I'm okay, Ry's okay. Claire's okay too. Everyone is safe here, you don't need to worry.”

Court shakes his head aggressively, and subsequently breaks Colt's heart, “I don't know how to do anything else.” He seems to take a minute, gathering his scattered thoughts. “I don't– the last time I've ever made a decision for myself was over twenty-five years ago, and it wasn’t even for me. I don't know how to do anything without hurting anyone, I don't even know what I want to do, or– or what I like to do!” He's close to sobbing again, a little hysterical even, and Colt pulls him into his arms. He thinks Court is done, until he hears him whisper, “I don't even think I'm a person anymore.”

Colt sits there, kind of stunned, until he feels Court fall asleep against him. He seems to be doing that a lot, lately. Isn't that a sign of something? God, he's so out of his depth. Did Court really feel like that? Jesus Christ. He guesses that makes sense from a technical point of view, to have your soldiers objectify themselves so making hard decisions isn’t so, well, hard. He’s heard Claire call Court ‘Six’, and he assumed it was some sort of nickname, but now he thinks it might’ve been his, what, designation? Does he call himself that? How traumatized does someone have to be to no longer think of themselves as a living, breathing, human being?

He needs to talk to Jody. He needs to talk to Ryland. Actually, maybe talking to Claire would help, too. She's more familiar with his brother than he is. God, that stings. 

Colt maneuvers his brother onto his bed (shouldn’t he weigh more?) and heads back outside to see everyone. He opens the door, and he must look especially lost and pathetic because they stop their heated volleyball match to look at Colt.

“Guys,” he starts, dejectedly, “I think we need to do something about Court.”

—

Ryland feels a little bad. Court is sleeping upstairs, and the other four of them are sitting around Colt’s firepit outside gossipping about him. Although, it’s not really gossipping, it’s more like, err, discussing him. 

Colt seems, like, so distraught. He explained to them how he saw Court come outside, run back to hide and lick his wounds himself, and Colt found him losing it. It’s a whole thing. “I just– like– he’s seemed so sad since he’s been here and obviously it’s all catching up to him and I think he has some like mental things going on and I don’t know how to help him and he clearly doesn’t know how to help himself and I just–”

“Colt, take a breath, love.”

“Sorry, Jodes. He just seems so scared and uncertain of himself all the time. I just want him to be happy.”

Ryland has always considered himself the more practical one, which he knows many would disagree with him on, but he likes to think that he considers all of his options thoroughly before committing to an idea. It’s the scientific method. “Maybe we should try to get him to see someone, like, a professional. A psychiatrist or therapist or something.”

“I don’t know if he’d want that,” Claire says, “he’s never really opened up to me about anything until we came here. He’s been trained to not talk about himself or anything personal, I dunno if it would work.”

“Well,” Jody sighs, “we have to do something, and it’s the best option we’ve got.”

—

Everyone is outside, it's a little domestic. Colt is grilling, Six is tending to a fire, and Claire is sitting around the fire with Jody and Ryland, talking about the movie they watched last night. Something about a pianist and an actress? Six wasn't really paying attention, he was kind of out of it last night and didn’t want to talk to anyone.

Colt comes over with a tray of burgers and various toppings on the side, “dinner is served.” No one answers him, and he turns to Jody, “what, no kiss as a thank you for the chef?” She sighs and gets up to kiss him, giggling when Colt dips her and brings her back up, going to sit next to her around the fire. Six ignores the little flame of jealousy in him.

A silence settles, and Six is perfectly comfortable poking the fire, until he hears someone deliberately clearing their throat. “Listen, Court,” Colt starts, and Six looks up at him, starting to sense something is off. He glances around and everyone else seems uncomfortable, so they must all be in on it. 

This is it. They’re telling him to leave. He knew it. Why would they want him here? He’s never brought anything good to anyone. It’s his curse. He’s a fuck-up, a deadbeat, a killer–

“We want you to see some kinda psychiatrist or something. I– we– think it would help you. We all want you to be comfortable and happy here, and right now you’re not.”

Oh. That’s– what?

“What?”

Ryland stammers to take over for his twin, “we just think it’d be good for you! Especially when there’s less people in the house when I have to go back to teaching when break ends in a couple of days and Claire comes with me.”

He doesn’t know what to say. He wasn’t expecting this at all. Actually, until a couple of minutes ago when Colt started talking he wasn’t expecting anything at all. He’s so off his game. He must be silent for a little too long, though, because Claire speaks up, “We all just want you to be happy, Court,” his heart jumps at her calling him that instead of Six, “it would mean a lot to me if you tried it.”

Conniving. Manipulative. He knew it. He blinks a couple of times and swallows, nervously, “okay.” He would do anything she asked him to. Wrapped around her finger.

Colt and Ryland, even Jody a little bit, seem shocked it was that easy. “Okay?” Colt asks, kind of suspicious.

“I said I would do it, didn’t I? You don’t trust me now?”

“Nononono! I– it was just– let's just eat. I put a lot of work into these burgers, you know.”

Everyone takes the segue for what it is, and if they notice that Six is keeping to himself a bit more, they leave him alone about it and enjoy the night.

—

Jody is the only one home when Court comes home from his first psychiatry appointment. They all agreed he’d go for the first time when everyone was away, so that he wasn’t overwhelmed when he came back. He didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Either way, Ryland and Claire are at school, and her lovely Colt was hanging out with Dan while neither of them were currently working on a set. 

Court comes over to where she’s sitting on the couch, working on a script of her own, and he seems like he wants to say something but doesn’t know if he should. She knows she should probably let him do it himself, but she decides to throw him a bone. “How’d it go?”

“Fine. What are you working on?”

Okay. She tried, she’ll let him talk on his own, if he even wants to. “A movie script. The last movie I tried to make was kind of a disaster– well, the movie itself was phenomenal, but the production was a bit of a catastrophe. But it also brought Colt back to me, so really I’d say it was all worth it. Plus I am now a visionary director.”

He seems kind of confused. “What happened to Colt?”

Oh. “He had an accident a year before the movie and broke his back, and he cut everyone who wanted to help him off. He came back because our producer, Gail Meyers, I don’t know if you know her, wanted him back to help her cover Tom’s ass by framing Colt for murder. It was a whole thing, I’m sure he’d love to talk to you about it.” She was trying to act chill about it, she doesn’t know how much Court heard about his brothers while he was in the CIA, she doesn’t want him to freak out.

“Oh. I didn’t know any of that happened.” 

Fuck. He sounds so upset with himself. “Hey, it’s not your fault, there’s no way for you to have known. Plus, he’s okay now and we’re better than ever. And Ryder– Tom– is gone, and Gail is no longer producing! It’s a win for everyone.”

“Okay..” he sounds like he’s trying to hide the worried older brother in him, and Jody finds it cute, actually. She’s an only child, so she doesn’t really know what it feels like to be the worried sibling or the one being worried over, but she does relate to worrying over Colt, so she gets it.

She goes back to her laptop and script, allowing them to sit in comfortable silence. Well, at least until Court breaks it.

“She gave me homework.”

“Who?”

“My shrink. She says I need to think of ten things I enjoy doing.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound so bad. What have you got so far?”

“Um.. well, I like not being on the run but I don’t think I can put that.”

“Oh. Yeah, probably not.” Jody waits for him to continue, but when it seems like he doesn’t have any other ideas, she offers, “well, I can show you some things I like to do. I like movies, obviously, but Colt won’t ever watch musicals with me, and Ryland is usually so busy with his students and planning for his classes. Do you want to watch a musical movie with me?”

She can tell he’s not used to so many questions, so many choices. She’s trying to give him the freedom to be his own individual as often as she can. But, secretly, she really hopes he says yes. If not only for her own selfish reasons of wanting a reason to take a break from writing–she’s hit a dead end–and to rewatch one of her favorite movies, she also wants to get closer to Court, possibly her future brother-in-law.

He considers it for a moment, which she actually likes–that he’s giving himself time to think about what he actually wants–until he agrees.

She smiles wildly as she pulls up one of her favorite movies, Mamma Mia. “I think you’ll like it, it’s about this girl–played by Amanda Seyfried–who’s trying to find out who her father is because her mother–Meryl Streep–slept with three different guys around the same time, and she wants to know so she can invite him to her wedding.”

He actually looks interested as he listens to her talk, “huh.” She starts the movie.

Jody notices that Court seems quite invested, actually, and she realizes that maybe this is the first time he’s seen a movie in a long time. She feels like there’s something else, though, because he gets an odd look in his eye every time one of the songs starts playing. She looks over again during Our Last Summer, and she sees Court quietly crying to himself while looking at the movie. She pauses it, worried. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah– I just.. I remember a lot of these songs. Before she died, my mom and I would dance in the kitchen to ABBA. Things were a lot more peaceful then,” he smiles despite the wetness in his eyes, and Jody figures it’s less of a sad crying and more of a bittersweet, mournful crying.

“How old were you when she passed?” she asks. She has to know how old he was when he was forced to be a parent for Ryland and Colt. 

“Eleven,” he looks over at her, “the twins were only two, they probably don’t remember her that much.” This thought looks like it upsets him, like he can’t bear the idea of being the only person to hold her memory.

“She sounds like a lovely woman.” He nods. “I’m sorry I never got to meet her.” She pauses when he seems to consider this, and continues when he doesn’t respond, “But! At least now you have something for your list. ABBA, and dancing with your mother! That’s 20% done!”

“Hey, you’re right,” he smiles at her, “you can unpause it now.”

“Oh yeah, sorry.”

—

Colt comes home a couple hours after Court is meant to be home, and he walks in to his house to find his older brother smiling and laughing while sitting at a barstool at his kitchen island, happily chatting to his lovely girlfriend while she makes a charcuterie board and I’ve Been Waiting For You plays on his surround sound speakers.

Colt, as subtle as ever, decides to announce himself, “What the hell? Are you cheating on me? I’ll let you know that Court is a taken man.”

Court must be in a good mood, because he doesn’t even yell at Colt for his remark about his mysterious cellmate. He’s leisurely picking at cheese and crackers while Jody goes about getting some wine and glasses. She pours both of them a glass (and not one for Colt!) and when Court tries it he hums, “This is really good! Thanks, Jody.”

“No problem, you can add that to your list too!”

Colt is so fucking confused. “What the hell is happening? What list?”

“My therapist said I have to make a list of ten things that make me happy, and Jody is helping”

Oh. That’s actually really sweet. Colt was nervous all of today about how Court’s first appointment would go, but he seems really good right now. “What’d you guys do while I was gone? You’re not actually cheating on me, are you Jodes?”

“Shut up, Colt. We watched Mamma Mia, talked about your mother, and now we are eating cheese and crackers while drinking wine like two very distinguished individuals.”

Colt is so happy. He’s smiling like a moron, he’s sure. Sue him, the love of his life is making his older brother the happiest he’s been in a long, long time, and he couldn’t think of anything better.

—

Court, Colt, and Jody are watching John Wick (“Look, Court, he’s just like you! Do you think you could take him??”) when Claire comes running through the front door with Ryland close behind.

“Court!!”

She bolts at him, and he sits up, eyes filled with worry, immediately going into crisis mode, “Claire, what happened?” She slowed down when she got closer to him, knowing that he was worried about her going to school.

“Nothing! My day was great! Uncle Ry’s classroom is really cool.” She climbs up onto the couch to sit next to him, hugs him quickly, then runs away to get a glass of water.

He smiles to himself, so unusually content, when Colt interrupts the comfortable silence that Claire left, “You should add that to your list, too. Claire makes you happy.”

Ryland seems confused, so Colt and Jody catch him up on how their days have gone, including Court’s list. At first, he thought it was really stupid. Seriously, how is writing down what makes him happy gonna make him, well happy? Especially when he knew how hard thinking of ten things was? But, after spending the morning with Jody and the afternoon with her and his little brother, he realized that, maybe, he didn’t need all the happiness right now. As of right now, this is exactly what his life is gonna look like for the foreseeable future–Clair and Ry at school, Colt and Jody eventually going back to set–but he doesn’t actually mind. Yes, he recognizes that this day is probably the odd good one in a sea of darkness, but he decides that he should let himself enjoy it while he can, surrounded by the people he cares about.

Claire must’ve been listening from the kitchen, she’s so smart, Court thinks, “Hey Court! You should add gum to your list!”