Antique_Mango
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Recent works
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Date Ideas for the Linguistically Inclined by Antique_Mango
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
17 Mar 2025
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Summary
There is only one thing that Harry James Potter knows he likes. It’s stupid, it’s pointless, and he doesn’t tell about it to anyone unless he is drunk.
What hooks Harry, what makes him read pages upon pages of words about a language he hasn’t even heard of before the essay is the absolute, earth-shattering conviction with which Riddle writes about the historic and cultural importance of Parseltongue.
Harry has never been so convinced of anything in his life.
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In which Harry becomes an English teacher in the late '90s in a Polish city that not-so-accidentally is also home to his academic idol and role model, Tom Marvolo Riddle, the world’s foremost expert on Parseltongue culture and linguistics.
Tom would love to focus on his research, but he is haunted by Merope’s spirit, his community obligations, and Delphini Black. Hot English Teacher is only making things more complicated.
[WIP, currently writing the final chapter. Updates infrequently. Chapter 1 italics are formatted weird in EPUB downloads.]
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The war ends, and his family is still unthinkingly rude to Fleur, his face still looks horrible enough to make strangers jump when they take a good look at it, and his little brother is still dead.
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A story about loss and grief.
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Ron knows that he is emotionally immature, frequently self-centred, and terribly childish (as Hermione has told him many times) but he still has no idea which one of these is making him burst out in tears at 1 a.m. next to a broken water pipe.
“Oh come on,” he hears Something Thomas groan quietly. “Alright, alright, I just thought of something, maybe it’s a brilliant idea that will save the day, wow, it’s so late, you can just go to bed and I’ll go work it out.”
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Ron discovers what it feels like when someone puts up with him without making him feel like they are putting up with him, a.k.a. the world’s most loyal man finds out that he genuinely likes spending time with his best mate’s sworn enemy, and then has a gay awakening while he’s at it. This fic is probably both funnier and more serious than you expect it to be based on the summary.
Chapters correspond to Flufftober 2024 prompts: Mistaken Identity (Day 6) | Bet, Game, Contest (Day 10) | Yes, No, Maybe (Day 16) | Written but never sent (Extra Prompt)
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people never change (just like the good old days) by Antique_Mango
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
31 Oct 2024
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“Are you trying to say that I’m a terrible father?” he quirks an eyebrow, which he never does, but of course he would turn into a sarcastic pillock when they are finally talking about him ruining the lives of their kids. “Me, Harry Potter?”
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In the middle of the slow but catastrophic collapse of Ginevra Potter’s marriage, her husband turns a new leaf and things suddenly get better… until one day she looks at Harry and sees a horribly familiar man instead.
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“Fine,” he bites out, his voice brimming with an anger that is slipping into bitterness too quickly, “I fucked it all up.”
Hux doesn’t look at him.
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6,000 words of angst with some humor, and Kylo's best attempt at making amends.
Series
- Part 8 of The problem with love
Recent series
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Summary
The First Order wins the war on Crait, destroying the Resistance once and for all when, instead of listening to their newly minted Supreme Leader's commands, the Order obeys General Hux's directive. Unwilling to find out how Kylo Ren will handle this, Hux escapes, his ex-co-commander hot on his heels.
But when Ren catches up to him, he doesn't kill Hux. He... gives him a promotion? And takes him to Naboo?
Whatever convoluted, nonsensical revenge plan the Supreme Leader has, Hux is mentally prepared for it; he fully expects to die a painful and unusually cruel death for all his crimes.
Not the least of which is that before the failure of Starkiller Base, him and Ren used to have a thing.
- Words:
- 17,317
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 37
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Summary
Ficlets based on AI-less Whumptober 2023 prompts, arranged into a trio of Tombraxas stories.
- Words:
- 8,242
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5
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The Train Wreck Trilogy of Queerness in the Wizarding World by Antique_Mango
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
23 Sep 2023
Summary
This is a very serious examination of queerness in the main series via crack. From the text and the values assigned posthumously to this 7-book series we can conclude the following about queerness in the wizarding world:
1) Trans people exist (and they want to kill people)
2) Gay men exist (and they should keep that a secret)
3) Asexual monsters exist (and they really shouldn't)The common thread is that somehow they are all related to villainy; apparently the Death Eaters are a trans movement metaphor, Dumbledore's gay episode made him fascist for a spell, and Voldemort is fucked up beyond redemption 'cos he just doesn't get it.
Since Rowling herself is already writing crackfic (Delphini) I'm giving it a shot as well.
Welcome to the 1940's! Aspiring domestic terrorist and tremendous asexual Tom Riddle is forced to reckon with everyone's gender and sexuality (his own included) when really he just wants to graduate and then topple the government. Strong-arming him into said reckonings is Abraxas Malfoy, ready to show the post-Grindelwald world that gay wizards don't have to say no to the man they are attracted to, not even when it's about homicidal world domination.
- Words:
- 9,745
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 7
Recent bookmarks
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Gamol-léac by Castiron for laura47
Fandoms: Old Spice Guy (Commercials), Beowulf - Fandom
24 Dec 2010
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Summary
After Beowulf's death, the men of Geatland meet a strange and powerful warrior.
Series
- Part 1 of Beowulf Fragments
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 482
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 288
- Kudos:
- 1,058
- Bookmarks:
- 270
- Hits:
- 19,918
Bookmarked by Antique_Mango
21 Jul 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
Brilliantly executed transformative work, hilarious and deeply poetic at the same time. Probably the best 500 words you can read on Ao3!
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Lost in the throes of a post-divorce midlife crisis, Harry signs up to be the new Hogwarts Defence professor. Unfortunately the post is still destroying perfectly decent professors left and right, and Harry can’t break the curse without special help.
Which is how he ends up with the Resurrection Stone on his finger and with the shade of Lord Voldemort as his co-teacher.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,032
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 118
- Kudos:
- 1,811
- Bookmarks:
- 568
- Hits:
- 16,338
Bookmarked by Antique_Mango
12 May 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
The story where Voldemort is very dead but he still has enough verve to make Harry, who is alive, want to live again. Featuring memes, news, diverse educational approaches, brilliant dialogue, and a very charming, very heartfelt romance. 10/10 would recommend, delicious crack treated seriously!
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A Letter from “Crawly” to Azirapil by mostlydeadlanguages
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV), Mesopotamian RPF
08 Jul 2019
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Summary
This remarkable letter of unknown provenance surfaced recently in the cuneiform collection of the University of West Wessex. Addressed to Azirapil from a Mr. “Crawly,” it appears to be begging for the other’s return to Ur from a western journey with another individual, Abiraham. The relationship between the two (brothers? business partners? friends?) is unknown.
Bookmarked by Antique_Mango
09 Jan 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
Transformative work!!! An absolutely brilliant blend of narrative, "genre" conventions, and research.
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There are some great quick-and-dirty guides to HTML on A03. This is not one of them - it is a comprehensive guide
It's now 2025, a decade later. A03 supports some new HTML and and we're all walking around reading fic on supercomputers that fit in a jean pocket. It was time to update.
The previous three chapters have been divided into smaller concepts. Each tag continues to have - at a minimum - a link to the w3schools page about it (so you can learn more), a code example, and the result of the code example. Most tags have their attributes, things like [src] or [title], listed and examples of how using the attributes modify the tags.
There's a chapter on Bad Ideas, including how some of the archive's default CSS is available to you to format your work (users can't turn that off by hiding a workskin!)
Oh. And I added a bunny army. You could learn how to add one too.
/)/) /)/) /)/) (..) (..) (..) *( ) *( ) *( )
Series
- Part 19 of AO3 Work Skins/Tutorials
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Summary
Set a week and a half after Man City and The Hug, Roy messages Jamie thanks to relentless prompting from Keeley. She has a fantasy of watching Jamie and Roy together and it's up to Roy to make it happen.
Roy doesn't expect Jamie to be up for it. He doesn't expect to get carried away.
Written completely as texts (but can be read without Author Skin if you don't like pretty formatting/want to use your ereader).
Bookmarked by Antique_Mango
15 Oct 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
Whew whew whew, smoking hot texts!
(And a whole lot of questions being asked, such as Roy/Jamie in the showers fic when. Jamie thinking of Roy while fucking someone else fic when. Other things talked about here fic when.)