Autistic_Cryptid
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Talk Dirty to Me by Autistic_Cryptid
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
11 Jan 2026
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Summary
Sideswipe never thought he’d have his body stolen by a Decepticon.
He also never thought it would lead to fucking his crush.
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Based on the episode where Vertabreak steals Sideswipes body but instead Vertabreak decides to get naughty.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
March has an affliction for keeping his mouth occupied.
Healy has become plagued by the thought of putting that pout to better use and of shutting him up with something bigger than a cigarette.
Healy decides to go to a club to curb the distraction.
Bookmarked by Autistic_Cryptid
06 Jul 2026
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Summary
“…You serious?” Healy scoffed, disbelief nestled into the edges of his face. “Come on, March, that’s-“
“An in-depth investigation tactic,” March finished for him, brain too buzzed to think about any potential implications right now, “I work best when I’m in the zone.”
“And you want to get in the zone of someone I’m… Wooing?”
“You make it sound weird.”
Healy started to smile. Because of course he fucking did. “It is weird, March.”
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or: healy, supposedly, has more skill than march in the seduction department. like any seasoned p.i. worth their salt, march investigates this claim. thoroughly.
Bookmarked by Autistic_Cryptid
30 Jun 2026
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Summary
Blackmail. Illegal porn. Undercover at a gay bar. The Nice Guys sure are at it again.
“Porn? I can throw a rock in this neighborhood and I’m gonna break the window of a porn store.”
March gestured anxiously, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Healy paused. “Ohhhhh. The nasty stuff. Whips and handcuffs. Girls and animals.”
“Close,” March said, grimacing. He really, really didn’t want to have to explain this. “Think more like…. Disco.”
“Disco?” Healy raised an eyebrow. “What, like the queer music? You think the back room of that store is full of porn for… For disco fans.” He nodded thoughtfully a couple of times. “And you’re an expert about this?”
For a second the whole world went white around the edges and March thought he might pass out. He was too sober for this conversation. What exactly had Healy noticed that morning, how obvious exactly had his full-body reaction to Healy’s hand on his neck been? “I was a happily married man!” March said, and as soon as it came out of his mouth he knew it was wrong. Too fast, too high-pitched, too loud.
Incriminating.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 61,320
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 770
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- 1,245
- Bookmarks:
- 355
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- 15,329
Bookmarked by Autistic_Cryptid
22 Jun 2026
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If You Choose To Run Away With Me by KickassTransAceDumbass
Fandoms: Iron Lung (2026), Project Hail Mary (2026)
02 Jun 2026
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Summary
Simon is a violent alpha, he always has been. So why does he feel different around Grace?
What is he going to do when his rut hits after being dormant for six years?or: They're both Alphas, and Grace helps Simon through his rut
Chap 1: Simon's rut
Chap 2: preparing for Ryland's rut/monster Simon
Chap 3: Ryland's rut and aftermath- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,363
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 140
- Kudos:
- 1,512
- Bookmarks:
- 216
- Hits:
- 18,475
Bookmarked by Autistic_Cryptid
06 Jun 2026
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Maintenance Check by Maniacal_Goose
Fandoms: Iron Lung (2026), Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
01 Jun 2026
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Summary
Simon’s prosthetic arm is acting up and Ryland knows the basic steps to resetting it. The one thing he doesn’t account for is when the system gets scrambled and makes for an… interesting discovery.
AKA: Simon’s nerve functions are acting up and Ryland takes full advantage of it.
Series
- Part 3 of Patron Saints Of One Way Ships
Bookmarked by Autistic_Cryptid
03 Jun 2026