AwkwardProfessor



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    “You know,” Shane says to the nobody nearby that definitely doesn’t exist, “You don’t need to hit pause every time I do something mildly interesting.”

    The forest noise swells around him in a great gust of birdsong and tree branch rustling, as if the woods are huffing a laugh at him under their breath. Shane still doesn’t believe in fairytales or spirits, but he’s starting to think that maybe there is a personality to this place. He stops in his tracks at the thought.

    “I’m fucking losing it,” he whispers to himself. “That has to be what this is.”

    There’s something in the woods.

    Language:
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    11/11
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    28 Jun 2026

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    “Marlow’s death is a tragedy for the hockey community. We lost an athlete at the peak of his career, well before his time.”

    “Our hearts go out to Boston.”

    “This casts a long shadow on Raiders captain Ilya Rozanov. What really happened that night?”

    “Yes, lots of speculation about Rozanov, whose year has been nothing but casualty after casualty. Truly bizarre series of events in the hockey world.”

    Something dark is going on with Rozanov. A curse from the past that won't let him go.

    Shane has his own secrets to protect. No one can ever know what he really is. Not even Ilya.

    But if they’re going to tread dangerous water, they might as well do it together.

    (Cursed!Ilya and Folktale Creature!Shane, a ghosts and monsters AU)

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    5/5
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    28 Jun 2026

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    When Paramedic Shane Hollander and EMT Hayden Pike start working nights, they expect to spend their shifts getting fucked over by Response Paramedic—and notorious asshole—Ilya Rozanov.

    Shane does end up getting fucked, just not in the way he was expecting.

    (shane just wants to do his job and ride the ambulance. ilya thinks shane should be riding him, instead.)

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    28 Jun 2026

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    Scott: I’ve been getting asked if it’s me. I considered denying but if we all deny and one person doesn’t, that sort of gives their identity away and I’m not sure they want that.
    Ilya: Everyone thinks is me. My agent asked if I want to comment too
    Scott: Wait, it's not you?
    Ilya: Maybe 🤔 Or maybe not 🤪
    Eric: What?

    Or: When Adrian Dela Cruz reveals he dated an NHL player, chaos and damage control ensue. A story told through texts, tweets, and one pretentious Variety article.

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    28 Jun 2026

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    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

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    28/28
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    28 Jun 2026

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