Personwithproblems



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    “What do you want your occupation to be, Geralt?” the sorceress smirks.

    “Horses,” he blurts out before his brain can catch up with his treacherous tongue. He snaps his mouth shut and feels the telltale signs of a blush creeping up on him. Fortunately for his ego, Yennefer doesn’t comment on it, her face still wearing that excitement he could always recognize when she got herself a new project. (He doesn't become a ranch owner)

     

    Or: In order to raise Ciri safely, Geralt becomes the proud owner of an inn, hiding his witchery nature under a glamour. Meanwhile, a witcher named Julian poses as the bard Jaskier using a glamour himself. He's travelling the world and ends up in Geralt's inn. Shenanigans ensue and pining happens.

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    14 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Jaskier gets jumped by a bunch of bandits, who happen to be so dumb as to stab him with an ancient artifact. When he wakes up, the bandits are slaughtered, and Jaskier has a new hunger. He decides he can't and won't live like this, and searches out a witcher to kill him when he's unsuccessful himself. Of course......he finds Geralt, or does Geralt find him?

    ---000---
    When Jaskier wakes up, the light is uncommonly bright to his eyes, and he has to squint against it. He’s not sure he remembers going to sleep the previous night, and briefly accuses himself of gulping down the bottle of Toussainti wine he’d filched from the inn, leaving a few crowns in its place.

    He rubs his hands over his face, and realises that as he does so, the strange metallic scent that hangs in the air gets stronger. When he pulls his hands away to look at his palms, he stiffens. There are red stains on the skin, some of it dried and flaking in the creases.

    It’s very definitely not wine.

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    06 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    "I'm not quite the helpless damsel in distress I make myself out to be," Jaskier begins.

     

    "Well, that would've been useful to know a hundred fights ago," Geralt says dryly.

    (OR, yet another creature!Jaskier fic, for your pleasure.)

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    31 May 2026

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    “It’s three in the morning,” said Geralt. “Why are you hitchhiking at three in the morning?”

    Jaskier shrugged. “You’re driving at three in the morning.”

    Geralt conceded the point. “Where d’you want to go?”

    “Literally anywhere that isn’t the side of this road,” Jaskier said. “I’m very well-behaved and I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

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    23 May 2026

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    Maybe having Geralt spend the night isn't the best idea. He never stays anyway.

    or, Jaskier assumes they're just friends with benefits and isn't exactly chill with it.

    title from i will by mitski

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    19 May 2026