Rachel5454



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    1/1
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    01 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “It’s my boyfriend and I’s anniversary tonight and I’d like to get him some flowers.”

    “...Ah.”

    Ilya supposes he should have seen that coming.

    He puts even more care than usual in the bouquet, probably out of spite—mostly out of jealousy. It’s childish, and he knows that Shane won’t ever look at his fucking peonies and think ‘These are so gorgeous, I definitely ought to leave my partner for this random florist I met twice’.

    Whatever.

    If he deliberately chooses flowers with awful upkeep that will wilt easily, then it’s no one’s business but his.

     

    or: Shane comes to buy flowers for his boyfriend every week. Ilya hates it.

    Language:
    English
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    9,944
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
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    Kudos:
    656
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    105
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    3,626

    01 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Carter Vaughn (NY): LISTEN UP I will give $1000 to whoever gets Shane Hollander drunk tonight

    Ilya Rozanov (BOS): easy $1000

    Ilya Rozanov (BOS): Hollander has never seen a good time because he lives in montreal with boring montreal teammates

    JJ 🏆💰: he had us in the first half ngl

    Shane: he had nothing in no halves

    Shane: I will have ONE beer

    or:

    Scott Hunter makes a groupchat of everyone staying on the tenth floor at the hotel during the 2016 All Star Game. Shane has more than one beer.

    Language:
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    5,335
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
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    Kudos:
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    667
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    33,630

    26 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Nah, Shane would be a terrible Traitor,” Ilya said. Ilya took hold of Shane’s face, squishing his cheeks and making his lips puff out like a fish. “Everyone look at this face. You really think he can lie?” Ilya yanked Shane’s face closer to him, making Shane stumble. Some of his ginger ale sloshed out of the can. “You think he can lie to me? Please.”

    Shane rubbed his cheeks with a frown once his husband released him. “Thanks, I guess.”

     

    OR: Shane and Ilya go on the very first MLH edition of The Traitors and chaos ensues.

    (Chapters will alternate between the full Traitors episode and the Twitter reaction)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    91,154
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    656
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    1,989
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    631
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    43,483

    25 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “The twins are having some big feelings about being disappointed,” Jackie explained. “We tried to get tickets for Taylor Swift in Toronto next year. But Ticketmaster was… Ticketmaster.”

    “Ah,” Shane said, wincing in immediate sympathy. “Bummer. Aren’t there resale ones, though?”

    Hayden dropped onto the opposite end of the sectional with a beer in hand and snorted.
    “Yeah, for like, the price of a small car. I am not paying that much for a concert.”

    “Why not?” Ilya drawled, turning his head toward Hayden. “You do not have money for resale?”

    Hayden didn’t even look at him. “I have money. I just also have sense.”

    “Ah.” Ilya nodded thoughtfully. “So Montreal paid you so little you must budget carefully. Makes sense. Fifteenth best player on team, yes?”

    “Hey,” Shane said. “Maybe don’t start a fist fight in our living room.”

    Ilya looked up at him, entirely unrepentant.

    “I am helping,” he said. “He says he cannot afford tickets. I am investigating.”

    Hayden scoffed. “You wanna help? You buy them, then.”

    “Okay.” Ilya reached for his phone. “Done."

    Series
    Language:
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    Words:
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    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
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    Kudos:
    1,514
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    Hits:
    22,081

    22 Jun 2026