Simperius
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Crowley keeps trying to outrun gang life, but gang life has a funny way of catching up.
- Language:
- English
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- 3,486
- Chapters:
- 1/?
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- 43
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Severus Snape and a restless student share a secret hiding place across the lake.
Story begins in 1995 in 5th year, canon-compliant through to 1998, and then diverges into a post-war AU.
This is an atmospheric slow burn and my romantic take on a Snape character study.
I have the entire story more or less outlined.
This is a plot focused reader insert.
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Snape barely survives the war, and to everyone's surprise, so does Nagini. She was returned to her human form after being slain by the sword of Gryffindor. Now the two of them are stuck in the hospital wing together as Hogwarts rebuilds, connected by their dark past under Voldemort, and an uncertain future in a world without him.
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I DO NOT ACCEPT FANTASTIC BEASTS AS CANON so I am writning this character without consideration of that storyline. But if you read my slow burn you know I think the maledictus thing is sexy, so that's where this concept came from. AND the author has said that from the start she wrote Nagini with the knowledge of her being a cursed woman. (The name comes from 'Naga' - half human half, serpent beings from South Asain mythology.)
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Severus Snape has a student locked in his storeroom. Filth ensues.
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Crowley is taking the bull by its proverbial horns, throwing herself into a life of grey-suited corporate drudgery. Money, money, money, right? Aziraphale is a lifer, already beholden to the company store. They're soulmates, kindred spirits, best friends - but also nasty, bitchy and disenchanted. Pity they're both gay, otherwise they'd be the ultimate power couple, right?
To the world [fuck the world]!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,142
- Chapters:
- 7/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 93
- Kudos:
- 42
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 682
Bookmarked by Simperius
17 Jun 2026
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Vincent’s problem was always the same: he wants.
He wants, he wants, he wants. And no amount of getting or receiving will ever change that fact, will ever close the cavern inside of him that always wants more. Getting is secondary, underwhelming in comparison to the thrill of wanting. Of chasing. When he found something he wanted, he pursued it single-mindedly. He made a plan, he pulled his strings, he put every piece of the puzzle into place. That was when he was on top of the world. Receiving his prize was little more than a participation trophy, and by the time he got it he had usually already found another want. Want, want, want.
Sometimes, at night, he wondered if his luck would run out, and when. What happened when he met someone he couldn’t charm or bully into giving him what he wanted? Who was immune to his silver tongue, his clever quips, his flashy smile or a flirtatious bat of his mismatched eyes? What happened when he took a risk that didn’t pay off?
When Vincent takes a spring break trip to New Orleans to celebrate his upcoming college graduation, he may just find the answer to that question where he least expects it.
And it will alter the course of his life forever.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 359,243
- Chapters:
- 62/?
- Comments:
- 3,694
- Kudos:
- 3,375
- Bookmarks:
- 478
- Hits:
- 100,638
Bookmarked by Simperius
18 Apr 2026
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Finally, Aziraphale spoke. “You mean to say— you got us married?”
“Just as a precaution, I never really thought I’d end up discorporated again, it’d been ages, you just don’t get stampedes or assassinations like you used to —”
“You got us married, and you didn’t tell me?”
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Crowley gets inconveniently discorporated. And it’s not like it’s ever been easy to get a new body, but this time around, things really aren’t looking good. His new innuendo-obsessed lust-demon of a coworker honestly isn’t helping things.
Meanwhile, Aziraphale has a dead body to contend with, and an occult mortician & his very normal daughter to fend off. What lengths will he go to in order to get Crowley back to Earth?
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,774
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 1,115
- Kudos:
- 5,790
- Bookmarks:
- 1,753
- Hits:
- 64,954
Bookmarked by Simperius
08 Jan 2026
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How to Win a Lifetime Achievement Award for Services to Television (and how not to) by GaryOldman for cellsinterlinked
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
03 Mar 2021
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Crowley hosts a late night comedy talk show. Aziraphale hosts a feel good morning talk show.
When Crowley is asked to present Aziraphale with a lifetime achievement award, everything goes a bit skew-whiff.
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Normally when I don’t get something that everyone else seems to be mad on my first point of call is the wonderful world of the internet, but we’ve had a falling out you see, the internet and I. Despite my many years as late night show host meets investigative journalist meets comic genius meets veritable sex god (though Wikipedia only acknowledges the first of these accomplishments, despite my many attempts at editing the listing) they have turned on me.
I’m a gif. And a meme.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,481
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 442
- Kudos:
- 1,016
- Bookmarks:
- 300
- Hits:
- 14,690
Bookmarked by Simperius
29 Oct 2025
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Eyes Without a Face by thesentimentalist
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
04 Jan 2019
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"Anthony looked at the shrouded figure on the table and smirked.
'You gonna introduce me to your friend there?'
'That didn’t work the last time you tried it.” The man said, “or the time before that. Or the time before that. In fact, it's never worked at all. So why do you keep trying?'
'Just making your life interesting, Mr. Fell.'
'I have the corpses for that, Mr. Crowley.'"Bookmarked by Simperius
28 Oct 2025