Spotty13
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Summary
Crowley is the stylish, sharp-tongued CEO who somehow manages to break everything in his office.
Aziraphale is the patient IT specialist tasked with fixing it.
Every day brings a new “emergency”,keyboards that won’t type, projectors that hiss, emails that mysteriously disappear and Aziraphale starts to suspect Crowley might be causing at least some of them on purpose. -
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Summary
Aziraphale likes his tea hot, his routines quiet, and his flatmate reasonably sensible. Unfortunately, he lives with Crowley,a sunglasses-wearing menace who sings Queen in the shower, sets pastry on fire for fun, and keeps stealing his clothes.
They’re definitely not flirting. Definitely not falling in love. Just… mutually annoying. With benefits. Emotional ones. Probably.
Aziraphale: Also, you borrowed my scarf. Again.
Crowley: Needed it. It was cold.
Aziraphale: You own seventeen scarves.
Crowley: Yeah, but yours smells like you. 😏
Aziraphale: That’s very forward for a Thursday afternoon.
Crowley: You’re blushing, aren’t you? -
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Summary
It is thirty-six point seven degrees Celsius and climbing, and Aziraphale and Crowley have lived together for five years, and everything is completely fine.
(It is not fine.)
Crowley stops wearing shirts. Aziraphale stops coping. They drag a mattress onto the balcony, eat strawberries in the dark, and somewhere around two in the morning, under a London sky that is too warm and too honest, five years of extremely careful not-saying-it finally runs out of road.
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Aziraphale is a food reviewer, Crowley is a chef. Aziraphale's flight is delayed, but he is assured he can still try out Chef Crowley's restaurant. The handsome server charming Aziraphale throughout the meal turns out to be the chef himself. Az finds out Crowley let his staff go home on time and stayed by himself so the other man could make his return flight the next day. They chat, share wine, you know what happens next.
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Summary
A loving homage to one of my favorite fics, Not A Mounted Dildo (But A Fuck Machine).
Excerpt:
Crowley was staring blankly at the kettle as it began to heat up when an idea came to him. What if - rather than sneak around each other and act like masturbation was secretive and taboo - they just did it out in the open, at the same time? They were both straight, so it wasn't like it would change anything between them, and Crowley was sure he'd heard stories of straight men getting together to watch porn and jerk off. Yeah, that was the perfect solution! Now all he had to do was get Aziraphale on board. He heard the shower cut off and poured himself a cup of coffee as he considered his pitch.
"Angel!" Crowley's greeting was full of cheer, his smile bright as he handed Aziraphale a perfectly crafted cup of tea.
Aziraphale narrowed his eyes in distrust, "...what do you want?"