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  1. Public Bookmark 32

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    What if the third overall draft pick in 2009 was a goalie? And what if they're now joining the Centaurs the same year as Shane Hollander?

    Jason Williams leaves behind the only NHL team he has ever known. slowly finds healing while playing for Ottawa through trauma, recovery, and relearning how to trust himself and hockey again.

    (aka a 3am thought given shape)

    Language:
    English
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    15,983
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    20
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    157
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    01 Jun 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark 60

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    "He loved women, in theory. They were insanely beautiful, fun to talk with, good company. Most of them were amazing kissers, but that was where it stopped for Shane. On top of every shitty thing that had been going on in his life, he had slowly come to terms with the realization that he might be gay."

    or

    Shane Hollander listens to Hayden Pike and downloads a dating app, finding a naked torso covered in moles that is more appealing than it has any right to be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,458
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    255
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    60
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    4,679

    24 May 2026

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  3. Public Bookmark *

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    He remembers their last hook up, a month or so before this. He thinks that’s where his brain had started to go on the fritz. When he’d just finished blowing Ilya in the shower and Ilya had hit him with ‘You need to get laid, Hollander. Waiting for a quick fuck every couple of months is not healthy.’ Shane had acted all indignant and puffy, but only because Ilya had hit a bit too close to home with that, and he’d been so cavalier about it too. Because yeah, maybe Shane had never made a conscious decision to do it, but he felt like he only existed in short hour long snippets when he could slip away and be with Ilya. And that fucking terrified him.

    Then because Ilya was Ilya, he had to one, two punch him by saying, ‘I have ruined you. No one else would do.’ And Shane had to lock that deep in the caverns of his mind because of how true those words rang. He didn’t want it to be true, but it was.

    “I think, maybe, this whole thing is starting to mean something different to me.”

    — Or Episode 4 remix/Chapter 13 rewrite. Shane doesn’t leave after the tuna melts in Boston.

    Part 2 added.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,235
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    137
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    3,946
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    910
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    23 May 2026

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  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya wishes this could be easy for them, like back when they were kids, camping under the stars in Shane’s parent’s backyard. Things didn’t seem so big then, so terrifying. Ilya fell in love with Shane when he was 16 too, he found him boring and naïve and innocent, but he was also beautiful and endearing and he gave Ilya everything he didn’t know he needed.

    A friend, a companion, a partner, a family.

    He’d been with him through all the big moments in Ilya’s life, and no matter how hard he tried to fight it, he knew. Falling for Shane Hollander would always be inevitable for him.

    — Or Shane and Ilya meet a year before Heated Rivalry and Ilya spends two summers with the Hollanders before their rookie year. AU

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,065
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    184
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    1,108
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    36,222

    23 May 2026

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    The Boston Bears group chat had sixty-three new messages in the span of three minutes.

    His coffee forgotten, Ilya swiped open the chat, scrolling quickly to find the source of the commotion. A link to The Athletic, posted by Jensen, their captain, followed by a string of exclamation points. Ilya tapped it, the headline materializing on his screen like a blow to the chest:

    BREAKING: MONTREAL VOYAGEURS’ SECOND DRAFT SHANE HOLLANDER ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT

    Ilya's pulse jumped, hard and sudden in his throat. The mug slipped from his hand, not falling but landing too heavily on the counter, coffee slopping over the rim. He set it down properly, his movements mechanical, and forced himself to read the rest of the headline:

    20-YEAR-OLD ROOKIE OF THE YEAR STEPPING AWAY TO PURSUE HARVARD BUSINESS DEGREE

    Or

    Shane Hollander has spent his entire life living and breathing hockey. At twenty, at the height of his career, he makes an unthinkable choice: he walks away to discover who he is beyond the ice.

    But some things don’t stay behind.

    What happens when the rivalry between him and Rozanov ends, but the pull doesn’t?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,524
    Chapters:
    9/9
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    2,163
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    96,206

    22 May 2026

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