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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,151
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    913
    Kudos:
    16,076
    Bookmarks:
    3,053
    Hits:
    90,946

    11 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    They may not have any idea how to do it, but there’s no way in hell the Montreal Metros are going to risk losing their Captain to a more accepting team. Full of determination, grit, open hearts, and absolutely no savvy, this team is going to learn how to be allies, come hell or high water.


    Hayden: did anyone do the optional inclusivity training last season?
    J.J. Boizeau: no
    Lawrence Olsson: no
    Gilbert Comeau: no
    Petro Andropov: no
    Matty Wilson: no
    Cam Stedlund: no
    Albert Schneider: no
    Aleks Miitka: no
    Georges Gagnon: no
    Patrice Drapeau: no
    Hayden: excellent, we’re nailing this so far

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,955
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    1,648
    Kudos:
    14,574
    Bookmarks:
    2,612
    Hits:
    71,866

    24 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya just wanted to show off how many photos he took of the puppies. He didn’t notice the photos in the top left hand corner of his screenshot that were never supposed to see the light of day.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,740
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    413
    Kudos:
    9,974
    Bookmarks:
    1,415
    Hits:
    56,933

    16 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Prompt: All the times Ilya blushes for Shane defeating the “Russians do not blush” line. Featuring Shane speaking Russian for Ilya. From rookie season and past TLG.

    Ilya understands why people think he's blushing. There are logical reasons for these mistakes. They're wrong, obviously, but he understands.

    Or: A million times that Ilya clearly does not blush because of Shane Hollander +1 time that he maybe does.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,050
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    1,299
    Bookmarks:
    267
    Hits:
    11,215

    13 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya hadn’t known the video existed. If he had known, he would have paid someone to have it destroyed. Would have paid someone to murder Kuznetsov, maybe, just for redundancy's sake. But it was peak stupidity, to keep evidence of your homosexual perversion around in a country where that crime could get you sent to jail for several decades, and Ilya hadn’t thought that Kuznetsov would be that dumb.

    Now here Ilya was, watching a video of his fourteen-year-old self on Twitter getting fucked by his former hockey coach.

    So. There go the plans for the rest of his life.

    -

    Or: in 2018, during Ilya's last year with the Raiders, an old video is leaked on Twitter. Ilya reacts, or overreacts. Shane does, too.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,773
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    767
    Kudos:
    9,390
    Bookmarks:
    2,061
    Hits:
    89,711

    10 May 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    [A hand knocks on a hotel door of the Carlyle Hotel. Ilya Rozanov answers the door in only a towel that’s slung low across his waist, his hair damp from a shower. He crosses his arms and leans against the door frame, a lazy smirk on his face.]

    Ilya: Well, hello.

    Shane: Ilya, what are you–

    [A robed Shane Hollander appears behind his husband, and when he sees the camera crew in front of him, he rolls his eyes and lightly hits Ilya’s arm.]

    Shane: Hi there. Ignore him please. Come in.

    [A series of shots are shown of the two men in their hotel room. Shane laughs at something Ilya says while Ilya pours them a generous serving of vodka. Someone massaging Shane’s hands as he’s given a manicure. Ilya doing push-ups on the floor. A steamer working over a garment with a gold gilded pattern. The video eventually settles back on the two men, both now robed, sitting beside each other on a couch.]

    Shane: Hi Vogue, I’m Shane Hollander.

    Ilya: And I’m Ilya Rozanov.

    Shane: And you’re going to get ready with us for the Met Gala.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,005
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    228
    Kudos:
    7,315
    Bookmarks:
    942
    Hits:
    39,811

    08 May 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Welcome to my conspiracy theory that there is an alternate timeline to the Great Tuna Meltdown of October 2016. What would have happened if Shane *had* stayed the night? This is a look at the evening and morning that could have been.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,107
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    887
    Kudos:
    8,049
    Bookmarks:
    2,048
    Hits:
    75,291

    07 May 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya sits down carefully and takes Shane’s hand. “I am going to ask you something, and I want you to try not to freak out, okay? Take a breath, think about it.”
    That sounds… serious.
    “The Centaurs are having a barbeque,” Ilya says. “I would like to go, and I would like you to come with me.”

    Shane meets the Centaurs. As Ilya's close personal friend slash charity partner from Canada.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,188
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    748
    Kudos:
    19,750
    Bookmarks:
    4,214
    Hits:
    119,039

    30 Apr 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    The second time Shane Hollander wakes up on November 16th, he has a panic attack.

    The problem is — he tries to explain through gasped breaths after Hayden basically knocks down his door, shouting that they’re going to miss their flight — the thing is, Shane’s already woken up on November 16th. He’s already flown to Boston. He’s already been to practice, and he’s checked into the hotel, and he has lived this day before.

    He doesn’t mention that he’s also already fucked Ilya Rozanov twice and had a fucking tuna melt that Rozanov made and drank the ginger ale that Rozanov bought specifically for him. He doesn’t mention that they’d snuggled on the couch watching TV like some kind of couple, like boyfriends.

    He doesn’t mention that he fell asleep thinking about how Ilya — fuck, no, thinking about how Rozanov had called him sweetheart and Shane, and that, even now, he can’t quite get the cadence of Ilya’s voice out of his head.

    Or: After the tuna melt fiasco, Shane Hollander wakes up in a time loop.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,420
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    581
    Kudos:
    7,583
    Bookmarks:
    1,971
    Hits:
    52,326

    28 Apr 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane: So, what is this we’re doing again? 

    Harris: It’s called 36 Questions That Lead to Love. They’re questions that a psychologist developed back in the nineties that are supposed to help couples move past the awkward stage and get more personal. It’ll be fun!

    Shane: You always say that it’ll be fun, and I don’t think it ever ends up being much fun. 

    Ilya: I always have fun. I do not know what your problem is. 

    [Harris lets out his signature booming laugh, and Ilya grins widely.]

    Harris: You maybe have a little too much fun. 

    Ilya: There is no such thing. 

    Shane: But what’s the point of the questions if we’re already in love? Like, we’re married. You were there when it happened.

    Harris: Yes, but they can help you deepen your connection, and it makes for good content. People love your love. 

    Ilya: I think we had a pretty deep connection last night, am I right?

    [Ilya holds his hand up for a high-five from Shane, but Shane only glares, and Harris looks slightly horrified. Ilya looks back expectantly, but when Shane doesn’t move, Ilya high-fives himself. With the sound of the clap, the screen goes black.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,781
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    348
    Kudos:
    13,204
    Bookmarks:
    1,737
    Hits:
    70,891

    28 Apr 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    [“Can you tell the camera how old you are?”

    “I’m four!” Shane exclaims proudly, turning back and holding up four fingers in two peace signs, wiggling them at the camera. “I’m going to be the best four-year-old hockey player ever.”]

    “You were so cute,” Ilya croons, reaching one arm out to sling it around Shane’s shoulders and pull him into his side, Shane grumbling all the while. “I love it that you were so very small. Even the jersey is too big! Is so wonderful.”

    “Again, I think that all children go through a phase where they are very small,” Shane says, but he’s smiling by the time Ilya pokes one affectionate finger into his cheek, driving into his freckles. “Stop that.”

    Ilya reacts to videos of Shane playing hockey as a child.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,643
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    71
    Kudos:
    2,449
    Bookmarks:
    363
    Hits:
    16,944

    20 Apr 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    In the quiet of night, twenty minutes after Darya turned twelve, her mother hands her a present with a blank name slip.

    “These are from your uncles, they love you so much. Uncle Ilya misses you.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,816
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    252
    Kudos:
    8,494
    Bookmarks:
    1,209
    Hits:
    37,170

    20 Apr 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    “It won’t stop,” Shane said to the floor. His hands slid down and grabbed at his crotch, rubbing frantically over his boxers. “I can’t make it stop.”

    They were still in the fucking hallway, and yes, it was six in the morning, but it was not private. Anyone could walk in, from their own apartments or the elevator. And Shane wasn’t exactly being quiet, gasping and groaning as he massaged himself. Viagra didn’t do this. It didn’t make you lose all sense of space, of boundaries, of… yourself.

    This wasn’t normal. This wasn’t natural.

    ***

    The morning after Ilya watches Shane and Rose together at the club, he gets a call from Shane. Something is wrong, and Shane says Ilya is the only one who can fix it. Ilya knows it's a bad idea, but that's never stopped him before.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,848
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    475
    Kudos:
    7,643
    Bookmarks:
    2,021
    Hits:
    134,239

    19 Apr 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    In which Shane Hollander's pubic hair goes viral, the internet colour-matches it to Pantone 15-1214 (Warm Sand), and Ilya Rozanov - creates accounts on Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, Tumblr, AND YouTube to anonymously defend his not-boyfriend's crotch using genetics Wikipedia and advanced hockey analytics.

    Features: a one-star Calvin Klein review ("very poor elastic, ruined my life"), Svetlana and Rose who have never once been wrong, and the most romantic use of the word "melanocytes" in the history of the English language according to Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,506
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,043
    Kudos:
    14,222
    Bookmarks:
    3,517
    Hits:
    137,822

    19 Apr 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    To the two users who flirt with hockey statistics in the comments of every post, please get married and leave the rest of us alone.

    (Or: Five times Shane and Ilya ran into each other's burner accounts online.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,621
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    464
    Kudos:
    7,693
    Bookmarks:
    1,072
    Hits:
    31,863

    16 Apr 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    “Got someone special waiting for you?”

    Shane’s breath hitches and he looks up, big, brown orbs settling on the person behind the camera. There’s a blush crawling across his freckles, his voice unsteady as he answers.

    “I wanted to celebrate with Lily, but she isn’t here.”

    The video ends shortly after, and the internet collectively loses its mind. Within minutes #FindLily is trending across all social media platforms, women from across the globe begging Shane to dump her ass.

    OR on the night that Shane wins the cup for a second year in a row, the internet learns of Lily and goes absolutely nuts.
    Inevitably, so does Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,663
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    627
    Kudos:
    20,040
    Bookmarks:
    2,870
    Hits:
    138,699

    14 Apr 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    The problem is that Shane’s not just a sweet, occasionally funny, soon to be famous millionaire. He’s also fucking hot. He’s got these warm brown eyes, perfect skin, and abs. Actual, literal abs.

    But when Jessica licked them last week, he didn’t even get hard. He said he was too stressed about the scouts coming to his next game. Her entire Centaurs loving family would be disappointed in her, but she’s really starting to hate hockey.

    Or: 5 times someone wanted Shane (and later found out why they couldn't have him), +1 time Shane wanted someone back

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,205
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    829
    Kudos:
    14,704
    Bookmarks:
    2,516
    Hits:
    85,399

    12 Apr 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane makes a list: reasons to Come Out on one side and to Stay Safe on the other. It's definitely not meant to accidentally star in the background of his mom's Instagram post for fans to find.

    But now that the world knows, maybe Shane can finally let himself have everything he's wanted.

    If only Ilya didn't go out and get engaged the next day. Which is fine! Rozanov was settling down? Shane could settle down, too. He would find himself a nice man.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,779
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    750
    Kudos:
    18,198
    Bookmarks:
    3,460
    Hits:
    111,655

    11 Apr 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    “Friendly chats. For years. On Instagram.” Ilya glanced up at Shane, who looked… confused. Truly, honestly confused. Like they’d been sending cordial emails and not Instagram chats. And why did that make Ilya smile? A low, rich laugh slipped from his lips. “You really have no idea?”

    “What?”

    “Instagram is for… chatting, yes?” Ilya waggled his eyebrows. “But also, for, what do you call it? Sliding into DMs?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,914
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    303
    Kudos:
    13,111
    Bookmarks:
    1,504
    Hits:
    75,871

    11 Apr 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

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    “What is there to talk about?”

    “What’s there to talk about?!” Hollander scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re playing for my fucking team!”

    “I know.”

    “Why did you have to go and get traded?! You realise we’re going to have to see each other every day from now on, and play together, and-”

    “Yes,” Ilya interrupted. He didn’t want to know how long Hollander’s list was. “I know.”

    Hollander took a deep breath. “Okay, listen,” he said. “Just so we’re clear - we don’t know each other outside of playing against each other, right?”

    “Right.”

    “And we can’t- can’t hook up anymore.”

    ~

    OR: Ilya gets traded to Montreal in October 2014. He's lonely, and angry, and he misses Boston. He doesn't know if it helps that Hollander is there or not.

    title from Buckle by Florence and the Machine

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    93,307
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Comments:
    3,939
    Kudos:
    17,634
    Bookmarks:
    6,528
    Hits:
    478,170

    11 Apr 2026

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