chococum
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“…You serious?” Healy scoffed, disbelief nestled into the edges of his face. “Come on, March, that’s-“
“An in-depth investigation tactic,” March finished for him, brain too buzzed to think about any potential implications right now, “I work best when I’m in the zone.”
“And you want to get in the zone of someone I’m… Wooing?”
“You make it sound weird.”
Healy started to smile. Because of course he fucking did. “It is weird, March.”
—
or: healy, supposedly, has more skill than march in the seduction department. like any seasoned p.i. worth their salt, march investigates this claim. thoroughly.
Bookmarked by chococum
02 Jul 2026
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“It’s the seventies, March,” Healy says, rolling his eyes. “Some people are gay. You got a problem with it?”
“Me?” Holland demands. “You think I’m homophobic?”
“I mean, I’ve been trying to get you into bed for weeks, and you haven’t caught on, so I figured you were either homophobic or the most oblivious man alive. Guess it’s that second option after all.”
Bookmarked by chococum
02 Jul 2026
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“Hooly." He looked back at March, who now had a snow-made turtle in front of him. "Your word of the day."
"Holly?"
"Hooly, you fucking dumbass. Why would it be Holly?"
"I don't fucking know."
March threw a snowball in his fucking face.
or: Marriage is buying a house for someone you hate. Good thing they’re not buying a house, they’re just getting one rebuilt.
Bookmarked by chococum
02 Jul 2026
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Holland tossed his suit jacket in the back of Healy’s car. “Should we go to the hospital or something? Maybe this was like, a secret chemical weapon from-”
“March, if you try to tell me that Hitler made powder that makes you horny I'm going to break your other arm.”
(aka healymarch sex pollen)Bookmarked by chococum
02 Jul 2026
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“Whoa, wait, back up.” Holland instantly sat up in his seat, grabbing hold of the arm so he could twist round to face Holly. “Klein? As in Janet Klein? Did you fucking punch Janet?!”
“Mr. March!” Principal Harrison admonished, “Language!”
Holland gave him an apologetic wince before he looked back at Holly.
“Holly,” he said, gentler, “Look at me.” He waited until Holly complied with his request. “Honey, did you punch Janet in the face?”
——OR——
Janet runs her mouth, and Holly finds that sometimes, a little violence is very helpful, actually.
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Bookmarked by chococum
02 Jul 2026