sevenimpossiblethings



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    “Ilya, what are we gonna do?” Shane says.

    Ilya finishes whatever he has been doing on his phone, and tosses it gently to the bed beside him. He crosses the room to Shane, stands in front of him, squeezes into his shoulders with his big hands, rubbing them like he means to warm them up.

    “Looks like we will have a little vacation,” he says, with a big obnoxious grin.

     


     

    Boston and Montreal are sent to Paris to play against each other in an exhibition series in January 2017. Ilya and Shane decide to stay in Paris for one more night. Just one more night, so they can talk. Maybe finally understand each other.

    They aren't expecting a volcano to erupt in Iceland and close all the airspace in Europe, leaving them stranded there. Together.

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    21 Jun 2026

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    If Ilya Rozanov was set to be branded for life in the space above his butt crack, he was damn well going to pay a premium for it.

    Booking with one of the most exclusive tattoo studios in North America was the easy bit.

    Having his brain melted into oblivion by Shane Hollander’s steady hands and even steadier voice was decidedly not part of the plan.

    Or, the one where tattoo artist Shane is very good at giving instructions.

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    21 Jun 2026

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    19 Jun 2026

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    “No vodka?” Rozanov asks, tsking in disapproval but looking amused. “What then? What does the great Shane Hollander want when he does a good job? What is your vice, Hollander?”

    “Hmmmm, mangoes,” Shane sighs out wistfully. It’s not a dangerous allergy for him, but it does mean being itchy and sometimes a little queasy for a couple of days after. Really he knows that he should probably avoid them altogether, but with every other restriction he has and with how controlled he is with his life even outside of that, it’s his one little indulgence, a pressure-relief valve of one bad choice to let some steam off at the end of a season, when he carves out time in his cottage when he can make his annual bad choice and enjoy a few days of wild mango madness before he makes himself buckle back into the restraints he usually keeps his life in.

    He looks up when he hears Rozanov snort.

    “Mangoes?” Rozanov repeats, tugging his shirt over his head. “Really?”

    “They’re good,” Shane defends. “Better than vodka,” he adds, pointedly.

    (shane has food allergies but makes an exception for mangoes) (5 times ilya didn't find out about this allergy and 1 time he did)

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    16 Jun 2026

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    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    uhhh so im on r/shanehollander rn and some guy is claiming to have cloned shane’s dad’s phone and uploaded it to the internet?? has anyone else clicked on this link will it give me a virus if i do

    7:03 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 135.1k retweets | 232.1k likes

    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    okay I googled his dad and he’s a 52 year old forensic accountant who thinks fashion peaked with ralph lauren polo shirts. am I enough of a hollander simp to risk my laptop just to look through the phone of his dad who acts like sandals and bermuda shorts are a risqué choice. yes.

    7:04 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 137.1k retweets | 235.9k likes

    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    oh my god his password for everything is ShaneHollander24. pov you love your son so much that it compromises your bank account

    7:04 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 143.7k retweets | 250.7k likes

    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    HOLY FUCK

    7:19 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 337.1k retweets | 413.3k likes

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    15 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Later when complete.