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Alex has never considered herself shy about her body. In fact, she's rather confident in it. She knows that she's hot, that she's got muscles, that she's got curves. And she knows how to flaunt it if she wants to. Her partying days had been filled with short dresses and low cut shirts and long stares from the people around her. But regardless of what she's wearing, she walks with confidence, and she presents herself as a powerful woman.
But there was a part of her body she was shy about, even though she hadn't really acknowledged her feelings as that. When she started working for the DEO her body had begun to be covered in bruises and scars at the end of the day. She didn't like being able to see the limitations of her body, so she did whatever she could to ensure that other people didn't see it either.
She had stopped changing in front of Kara, afraid of what Kara might say if she saw the black and blue shapes across her stomach, the long scar down her back from a close call with a blade, the bullet wound on her thigh from her first field mission.
She hated the DEO locker room and its open shower area, forcing her to be unable to hide the scars. And even though all of her coworkers had similar injuries, Alex couldn't stand having hers on display.
She hated that every time she had ended up in some man's bed in an effort to feel something, anything, that they would ask what had happened to her and she'd have to lie about her job and they'd treat her like she was some kind of damaged good.
But then there was Maggie. Maggie knew about her job. Maggie knew about her scars. Maggie knew about everything.
The first time she and Maggie made love it was gentle, it was slow, it was intimate. Maggie had paused over every scar and bruise on freshly uncovered skin. She didn't ask. She didn't have to. Instead she simply kissed every mark she uncovered, as if her kiss could heal. And in some ways it did. For the first time Alex didn't hate the marks on her skin.
But that was in a highly intimate situation. In every day situations, where they weren't naked and pressed against each other sharing passionate kisses, she still felt incredibly vulnerable. So she didn't change in front of Maggie. When she woke up naked after a passionate night she would grab a large t-shirt from the dresser drawer by her bed to cover herself while she picked out clothes for the day. She got dressed in the bathroom after showering. She had perfected the method of changing her shirt without actually taking one off first, pulling her bra on or off underneath her shirt. She would quickly pull fresh underwear and pants on when Maggie was turned around. Maggie never saw Alex's body outside of an intimate situation.
Alex didn't realize what she was doing until Maggie pointed it out.
Maggie noticed Alex glance over her shoulder to check if Maggie could see her before pulling her shirt off.
"Hey babe," Maggie said, turning around to face Alex, starting a casual conversation. "Did you ever find a lead on that missing alien case?"
Alex was standing on the other side of the room, having just un-clipped her bra, rushing to cover herself when she saw Maggie turning around. "Uh... just a sec Maggie. Let me just..."
Maggie noticed her hast and embarrassment. "Alex, there's nothing to be shy about, there's nothing I haven't seen already, babe."
Alex pulled a shirt over her head. "I know Maggie. It's just... different... when we're not... you know... having sex. I'm covered in scars and bruises and there's that fresh cut from the other day. I don't know, I just assume people don't want to see that."
"Babe, I'm not people," Maggie said, crossing the room to take Alex's hands. "I'm your girlfriend. I adore your body, regardless of what we're doing, or what new mark it's acquired. It shows your strength, your power, your fearlessness."
"No, it shows what my body can't do! What I couldn't defeat, what defeated me instead." Maggie noticed that Alex looked distraught over the fact that her body wasn't invincible.
"No, babe. You're gorgeous. How long have you felt like this?"
"I don't know.. I guess since the DEO and I started training, and then everything with Kara coming out as Supergirl.... I don't know, I guess it just makes me feel small."
"You're not Kara, babe. Your body can't do everything, but it sure as hell can do a lot. And every mark it gains just shows how hard you fight and how much you can do."
Maggie pulled Alex's shirt over her head after Alex gave her a nod that it was ok. Her lips found every scrape and bruise and scar, just like they had their first night together. But this felt different for Alex. This was intimate, but different. She knew, Maggie had told her, that her body was loved, that her body was strong, that her body was nothing to be ashamed of.
And she'd never felt so loved.