Work Text:
He knew Hajime meant no harm from it.
He honestly should’ve expected it too - he’d been disturbing Hajime, hadn’t he? Disturbing his precious work, attempting to pry him away from his duties for no other reason than to gain attention - honestly, how much more selfish could he become?
He’d been watching Hajime read up on some articles and take notes, and it was such a strange sight to see, he thought. If he pretended hard enough, it’d be like they were studying in high school.
But they were adults now, well past eighteen and Hajime was reading one of the articles written during the time of despair and picking apart the meanings in it - something psychologically involved that Nagito didn’t want to think too hard on. He remembered thinking that Hajime’s tasks from Future Foundation were getting more and more bizarre.
It was about six months into their relationship and Nagito had finally grown more comfortable initiating intimate, physical contact with Hajime at random precedents of time. Hajime had even encouraged him to.
So when he’d been talking to Hajime in the library as Hajime worked on his laptop, and Hajime had been nodding distantly he hadn’t quite noticed that Hajime was probably growing irritated with his presence, from the way his eyebrows furrowed, and he glanced at Nagito warily.
Finally, when Nagito had finished his story, he watched Hajime type up some notes and silently kicked his legs against the chair, all of a sudden realizing the lack of attention Hajime was giving him.
He pouted slightly, and wondered if it’d be much too bold to lean his head on his shoulder…but when his eyes glanced at Hajime and his heart did about 200 somersaults in noticing the way his freckles sprinkled like fairy dust across his cheeks, and the tips of his chestnut hair looked almost an ashy blonde in the sunlight, he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted to touch him.
Nagito scooted his chair closer to Hajime and he’d simply laid his head on his shoulder, closing his eyes in contentment as a blush began to color his cheeks, and bringing his hands up to curl around Hajime’s lower bicep-
Only to immediately be shrugged off with a curt, “Not now, I’m working.”
Nagito blinked from the sudden shove of Hajime’s shoulder, and immediately, a sharp pain pierced through his heart.
Oh.
He leaned back in his chair in a sort of shock, his heart thumping anxiously at how cold Hajime had all of a sudden grown. He wasn’t always like this, no, Hajime always welcomed Nagito’s physical shows of affection.
What…what was going on? Was he -
No. He was getting ahead of himself. He stared at the side of Hajime’s face, which at this angle, only revealed the red eye scanning across the screen and flicking up and down, every which way.
He could tell. It was definitely Hajime, not…anyone else.
So that meant…Hajime was just annoyed. With him. Aha…
“A-Ah…I’m sorry, Hinata-kun.” Nagito said, his voice coming out terribly quiet and dejected that Hajime had cast him a quick glance before turning back to his screen and saying disinterestedly that it was fine.
Nagito stayed quiet, letting the pain of how easily Hajime had brushed him off sear into him like a hot iron, and forcing down the burning in his throat. He scooted his chair away, his eyes downcast and looked around for a book he could maybe occupy himself with.
His vision was beginning to blur.
He noticed a poetry novel across from him and grabbed it quickly, not caring to read the title or observe the cover.
He needed a distraction. Maybe he just needed to leave, actually.
Yeah. He definitely needed to leave.
He stood up fast, rattling the table and this time Hajime definitely gave him more than a side glance and Nagito could feel his questioning gaze on his back as he left the library in long strides. He didn’t bother to say a word, knowing he’d be that much more of a nuisance if he were to remain in Hajime’s presence any longer.
He laid in bed that afternoon, attempting to read through the poems in his book but his mind wandered and went back to Hajime and the way Hajime had told him, “not now,” with that twinge of annoyance and how Hajime had nudged him off not even two seconds after he’d softly laid his head on his shoulder.
He saw a tear fall onto the yellowed page before he could stop it.
And then he was sobbing, and shutting his book and throwing it on the floor, wiping at his face helplessly as his eyes swelled and poured out tears.
Nagito knew he was disgusting, and repulsive, and anyone in their right mind would’ve done the same as Hajime but Hajime had never acted so cold before - so distant and uninterested and, oh god.
It hurt. It really hurt. It felt as if his heart was being torn apart from a gesture so small yet so painful.
He’d pushed him away like it was nothing and it was at times like those he feared Hajime was only with him because he pitied him, and nothing was more horrifying than the thought that he was never truly loved in the first place.
Perhaps Hajime just put up with him because he was forced to - not because he really wanted to.
Who would?
Who would?
Certainly not Hajime.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid, you’re so stupid,” He gasped out to himself, and laid on his bed in a crumbled heap, hugging himself tightly and letting the tears run freely down his face.
He lamented the absence of his green jacket - which was currently in the wash - and thought that if it were here he wouldn’t have to feel his own sickly skin against his hands, not have to touch something so revolting. He felt disgusting.
That wasn’t to say he didn’t always, but it was particularly prominent in his mind too, so stark that it felt as if his skin was burning underneath his fingertips like toxins.
He cried harder and squeezed his eyes shut and he knew he was overreacting. He was, what, 21? And here he was, crying in his bedroom about the smallest matter. Hajime had probably been uncomfortable and pushed him away. It was as simple as that.
The subtle rejection was no crying matter for any regular person.
Recently, Nagito had realized he’d grown more sentimental now that he was out of the simulation and was on the road to recovery, his illness no longer terminal. In his high school years he never let anything bother him so much, rarely crying and rarely letting himself be hurt because he was always comforted by the fact that it all wouldn’t matter anyways. He’d be dead in just a few years time.
Now though…now it was different…and with Hajime in his life it made everything so much more complicated and upped his emotions about a tenfold. If Hajime laid a kiss on his head it felt as if he was walking on clouds and reaching for the sky.
If Hajime pushed him off his shoulder it felt as if his thoughts were being rearranged inside his own mind, filling them with doubt and insecurity and fear and…
Nagito hadn’t realized how deep he’d been digging into his own arms, drawing small rivulets of blood on his pale skin. He sobbed his throat raw, thoughts of Hajime floating around in his mind until he more or less cried himself to sleep, leaving his pillow damp.
“Komaeda?” Three knocks. “You in here?”
Nagito felt himself wake up from a dreamless sleep, a fog gently lifting itself from his mind as he reconnected once again with his consciousness.
His head was blank for a moment before the events of the day came rushing back and his stomach was twisting into knots, his eyes growing wet again. He didn’t think he could talk to Hajime right now without making a fool out of himself or saying something he’d regret.
He heard Hajime’s voice through the door again, “Okay, I'm coming in.” And he immediately turned himself around in the opposite direction, his heart thudding loudly in his chest. He closed his eyes and attempted to look asleep, knowing that if Hajime saw him like this he’d probably leave him alone.
But the moment Hajime walked in, Nagito could sense that he was watching him, analyzing his breathing patterns, taking in the way his body lightly shook, and knowing instantly that he wasn’t actually asleep.
Nagito only hugged himself harder and squeezed his eyes tighter, begging for Hajime to just go. He didn’t want Hajime to see him like this - to think even worse of him.
He heard quiet footsteps approaching his bed and felt Hajime’s presence behind him, before a soft hand was placed on his shoulder. He nearly jumped out of his own skin from the amount of warmth rushing through his body and down to the core of his heart, his eyes shooting wide open.
How long would it be until he wasn’t so touch-starved…?
“Ko? Hey. I'm all done with work now.” Hajime’s voice had come out so soft, and he rubbed comforting patterns into Nagito’s shoulder, down to his upper arm.
“We can do something together if you want to. Go to the beach, take a walk, whatever you prefer.” He said, and Nagito dug the side of his head further into his pillow, suppressing the tears at the edge of his eyes from falling.
“You should spend time with the other ultimates, Hinata-kun. Y-You’re better off with them anyways. Not with worthless scum like me.” He muttered, but he knew Hajime could hear the tremble in his words loud and clear.
“I want to be with you though,” Hajime’s hand was now in his hair and Nagito melted against his bed, eyes fluttering at the fingers tangling themselves in his curls. A shaky sigh left his lips and he loosened the arms around himself just slightly.
“Komaeda. Can you turn around for me?”
He blinked and found himself unwilling to ignore Hajime’s request, and without saying anything, he slowly turned onto his back to look up at his boyfriend.
And when he did, the tears rolled down his cheeks and he could only avert his face to the ceiling shamefully.
“Komaeda…”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for always annoying you H-Hinata-kun,”
“No, don’t say that. You don’t.” Hajime softly brushed Nagito’s tears away with both hands, rubbing his cheeks and frowning. “Where is this coming from?”
Nagito shrugged and more tears came running down his cheeks and more fingers were smoothing them away. He timidly wrapped his mechanical hand around Hajime’s wrist and said, “You didn’t want me there.”
“What?” Hajime murmured, his eyes looking into Nagito’s.
“You p-pushed me away...” His voice finally broke and his face was beginning to contort painfully and it was only then that Hajime moved to climb onto the bed, laying beside him.
“No, no, no, baby, shh, don’t cry, I’m so sorry.”
The tears came faster and he sobbed softly when he felt Hajime’s arms wrap around his thin frame, and he brought his hands up to hold them there, pressing them against his chest and letting the gentle pressure against his heart soothe the rapid beating.
Hajime brought his lips to the shell of his ear and kissed it, muttering apology after apology.
“I'm sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Komaeda,”
His words and voice fell on Komaeda like warm, spring rain after a thunderstorm, and he cried louder as he released his hold on Hajime’s arms and turned into his chest to hug him tightly. He hid his face there, effectively soaking Hajime’s t-shirt.
Hajime kept hushedly apologizing, and after a while, Nagito almost thought that maybe he was just saying this to comfort him - not because he actually meant it. But, even if that was the case, it didn’t matter right now. All he really found himself caring about was the physical comfort and consolation of knowing Hajime was still touching him.
Of knowing he still wanted to touch him.
But. Did he even...?
The tears kept coming like an endless ravine down his cheeks, and he pressed his face deeper into Hajime’s chest.
Hajime kissed the top of his head, and whispered, “I promise, I didn’t mean to be cold to you, Komaeda. Sometimes I forget that…” He trailed off, stroking Nagito’s hair and Nagito tensed.
What was he about to say just now?
He pulled back from Hajime’s chest and looked up at him, his cheeks lined with tears and his eyes red and puffy. “F-Forget what?”
Hajime looked down at him, and sighed, kissing his nose swiftly, then going to kiss every other part on his face. “I…I forget that you need a lot of physical reassurance. And when I pushed you away, I wrecked that, didn’t I?”
His heart skipped several beats at how affectionate Hajime was being, but his mind dwelled on Hajime’s words.
He really did need constant reassurance, didn’t he? How deplorable…if Hajime was with anyone else, he was sure Hajime wouldn’t have to deal with something as stupid as this.
Again with the recurring thoughts of Hajime being with somebody else. They always came and Nagito couldn’t find any proper way to purge them completely, and they either always made him cry like a pathetic whelp or brim with unaimed jealousy.
“I-I’m sorry, I d-don’t know why I’m like t-this,” He sobbed, and Hajime gently pushed his head back only to get more access to kiss his face, and he felt his eyes close of their own accord.
“No. No, I didn’t mean it like that, Ko. It’s my fault, not yours, I should’ve done better.”
The kisses and smooches over his eyelids, and cheeks, and occasionally on the corner of his mouth seemed to send rushes of euphoria and bliss through his veins and he could only breathe out a gentle, “I-It’s okay,” before leaning back slightly to let Hajime’s lips wander more freely.
Hajime’s hands cradled the sides of his face and he could only whimper gently every single time Hajime kissed him and when all of a sudden his lips found his neck, their positions changed.
Hajime rolled on top of him and, with his hands still gripping Nagito’s face, Nagito held onto Hajime’s wrists, letting his eyelids flutter when Hajime sucked a bruise onto his neck.
His mind was at war between the fleeting thoughts of doubt and hatred raining down on him like bullets, and the sheer joy flooding the space of his head at how softly Hajime was kissing and lavishing him.
Hajime’s tongue licked a stripe up his neck and it was only then that a moan escaped his lips, and he felt all the blood in his body rush to his face.
“H-Hinata-kun,” He gasped softly, and he felt Hajime smile against his neck.
“Hey…I’m gonna make it up to you, okay?” Then, without warning, he felt Hajime’s knee, nestled in between his long legs, slide up the bed and bump into his crotch. He yelped and immediately, his eyes darted down to his pants to see a tent already beginning to form. His face grew three shades darker and his breath quickened, spots on his neck cooling from Hajime’s remainders of saliva drying.
“If it’s physical reassurance you need,” Hajime muttered softly. “Then it’s physical reassurance you’ll get.”
Ah…haha…this was where it was going…?
Nagito’s heart thudded in anticipation, his ears rang in excitement and his body began trembling as his nervous eyes flicked up to meet Hajime’s half-lidded gaze. He took in his boyfriend for a second.
He was wearing a soft, dark green tee, with some brand name on it and loose, black gym shorts and looked awfully boyish, what with his tousled brown hair and the lazy smirk across his lips.
God, fuck, he was gorgeous, and Nagito, Nagito could hardly believe how lucky he was and suddenly he found his anxiety was being crushed by mounds of arousal and absolute captivation.
Probably love too.
Then Hajime’s smile widened, and his eyes glinted as he leaned back on his haunches to peel his shirt off and Nagito immediately felt his mouth part at the sight, his gaze raking down his boyfriend’s toned chest.
Hajime leaned back in to treat him to a filthy, opened-mouth kiss and Nagito welcomed it happily, even thrusting his hips up to lightly bump their crotches together and Hajime grunted hotly into his mouth, murmuring a curse.
At one point, Hajime helped Nagito out of his own thin, white T-shirt as their mouths moved in synchronization with each other and Nagito felt the spiders of vulnerability crawl up his mind as he realized Hajime was toying with his pants.
They’d done this plenty of times before now. It seemed as if all it took was the first two or three times to get used to one another, to somehow memorize each other’s bodies and claim each other fully before they suddenly upped their sex-drive and it didn’t stop for at least a week, before they began to slow down their pace once again.
But Nagito couldn’t help the constant anxiety that seated itself perfectly in his mind, wondering when Hajime would finally grow disgusted with him and his body and leave him for somebody else.
Nagito was pulled back to reality when he felt Hajime slide his pants down his legs and knocked right back out into another world when he felt Hajime’s hands wrap around his cock, which was blushing and twitching in his palms. He gasped sharply.
“O-Oh, fuck…”
Hajime glanced up at him with steady eyes, and asked, “Are you alright with this?”
Nagito didn’t remember the last time he’d nodded so fast, giving Hajime his full consent by thrusting into Hajime’s hand and groaning in all his sexual frustration, his face red and sweat rolling down his temples.
“G-God, please, Hinata-kun…”
Hajime chuckled and said something underneath his breath, maybe along the lines of “cute” before beginning to stroke him with quick movements.
Nagito moaned none too loudly, shutting his eyes and fisting the covers beneath him, the whirring of his left hand coming to life which…mildly turned him off before Hajime began pumping his cock methodically and his arousal came back at full force.
Hajime pressed a kiss to his forehead even when he was stroking him down to his shaft and squeezing his balls, and whispered, “You know there’s no one in the world I’d rather be with, right?”
He couldn’t even manage a reply to that, partly because of the moans that wouldn’t stop spilling from lips and partly because…honestly…he’d always felt as if Hajime would definitely prefer to be doing this with someone else. If presented the right person at the right time, he’d ditch Nagito in a heartbeat - as he should.
“I’m - I’m sure there are, o-others, much more worthy of your body than I am,” He breathed out, and the moment he did Hajime stroked faster and he nearly choked on his own saliva, eyes widening.
“No. Only you, Komaeda.”
Nagito only whimpered loudly in response, his heart effectively full and his body warm from how soft he’d uttered his words. He let Hajime continue stroking and pumping his cock, which was ready to burst at any moment with how it was twitching and swelling in his hands.
“Ahh…”
Hajime ran his fingers down the veins of his pale cock, before brushing around the foreskin and smearing the pre-cum that had already presented itself at his slit and smiling gently as he listened to Nagito’s string of broken noises.
Hajime murmured, “You’re so beautiful,” and for some reason it seemed to be the breaking point because he let it build up in his body and rush down to his groin before -
Before Hajime suddenly withdrew his hand. Nagito gasped out in despair and threw his head back, not even realizing when he’d lifted it from his pillow and panting pathetically.
W-What…?
Then Hajime was backing away from him completely, not even looking into his wide, terrified eyes as he did so and Nagito’s heart screamed in panic as he latched onto Hajime’s wrist and cried, “N-No, please don’t!”
He had no idea what was happening. One moment Hajime had been edging him to the brink of orgasm and the next Hajime looked just about ready to leave him.
Hajime jumped and finally met his gaze, widening his eyes when he saw the tears beginning to slip down his boyfriend’s cheeks again.
Nagito sobbed helplessly, tightening his grip on Hajime’s wrist, “Please, please, please don’t go, Hinata-kun,”
“H-Hey, hey no, sweetie, hush, I’m not going anywhere.” Hajime reassured immediately and retracted his hand from Nagito’s vice-like grip on his wrist to thumb his tears away instead. Nagito sobbed softly and sunk back into the sheets, overwhelmed by the onslaught of so many feelings at once and trembling as Hajime stroked his cheek.
“I was just gonna get lube,” Hajime said, and Nagito shut his eyes, not even finding it in himself to laugh.
Oh.
Of course. Of course he wasn’t going to just leave Nagito there…he overreacted yet again.
“S-Sorry. I just…don’t want you to cum yet.” Hajime had said the last part with a small smile on his cheeks and Nagito felt his eyelashes bat before he said,
“But I - I was really close...”
“I know. But your stamina is also kind of shit, so…” Hajime chuckled, and leaned over Nagito to open the drawer on the nightstand beside them and reach the lube with ease. He pulled back to open the small bottle and spread a good amount on his hands, warming up his fingers and looking to be deep in thought even with a small smirk on his face.
Nagito couldn’t help the breathless laugh that left him, and felt his eyes close in defeat. “I s-suppose that’s true. I’m sorry…”
Hajime hummed, before bowing down to kiss him silly, all the while looping an arm around his back to probe at his entrance. Nagito moaned into Hajime’s mouth as the first finger entered him, and could barely process Hajime saying, “It’s okay, baby. We’re working on it, aren’t we?”
Nagito nodded distantly, letting the liberating feeling of Hajime’s warm mouth on his and his adept fingers inside him lull him into a gentle high.
Nagito moaned just as Hajime added his third finger and pressed into his prostate ever so softly, before stretching him more and pushing his tongue deeper into Nagito’s mouth. The tears had long since been dried on his cheeks, but he knew they’d come running down again if Hajime kept up this kind of pace.
Finally, Hajime removed his fingers with a wet noise and wiped his shorts disinterestedly, before yanking them right down his hips and revealing his cock. Nagito almost felt a sliver of fear at the prospect that Hajime wasn’t hard, or anywhere near aroused, but one look at the red, flushing cock told him all he needed to know.
As Hajime began lubricating his cock, Nagito took it upon himself to slide his pants and boxers right off his legs completely before throwing them to the floor. He laid there, naked and shaking, waiting for Hajime anxiously and trying to quell the never ending thoughts of insecurity in his mind.
When Hajime was finished, he spread Nagito’s trembling legs apart and lined his cock up with his entrance, and Nagito looped skinny arms around Hajime’s neck, his breathing growing unsteady.
He needed this, he needed this so bad.
Hajime asked, his voice lower and significantly raspier, “Do you want it gentle or rough?”
Nagito hardly thought he was in any position worthy enough to command Hajime to do anything, but if he was asking…
“Rough,” He breathed. He wanted the most stimulation possible and as much as he adored it, he didn’t quite think gentle sex would be able to cut it this time around.
Hajime nodded, before flexing his fingers on Nagito’s thighs and saying, “Just tell me to stop if it gets too much, okay?”
And Nagito’s heart thumped like the beat of a drum before he whispered a quiet, “okay,” and all of a sudden, Hajime had pierced his entire length into Nagito’s hole.
Nagito’s eyes were blown wide open, his cry coming out broken and high-pitched and his legs pushing past Hajime’s hands to wrap around his waist. Hajime adjusted himself accordingly, supporting himself by placing his elbows down on either side of Nagito’s head on the bed.
Hajime didn’t bother waiting a second before thrusting into Nagito at breakneck pace, roughly slamming into him and letting out low moans, his eyes fluttering wildly.
Nagito dug his heels into Hajime’s back desperately and threw his head back onto the pillow even as his arms tightened around Hajime’s neck. His loud, breathy moans echoed in the room and when their eyes met, Hajime gave him the most angelic fucking smile that Nagito couldn’t contain himself from leaning right back up to smash their lips together.
Hajime hummed lowly into the kiss, hands coming to softly grab at Nagito’s locks and he began angling his thrusts, finding Nagito’s prostate with ease and fucking into it harshly the moment he did.
Nagito pulled back from Hajime’s lips to let out a scream of pleasure, eyes filling with tears once more and begging hoarsely, “Please, Hajime, please, I love you - mmph! “
He was interrupted by another hot, open-mouthed kiss as Hajime continued rutting into him relentlessly, slamming into his prostate every single time and moving at a pace so fast Nagito’s mind filled with clouds and his lips leaked a profane amount of drool. He whined sharply as Hajime fucked deeper into him and clawed at his back, distantly noting the marks it would leave on his boyfriend.
Tears began streaming down his cheeks at this point and he could feel Hajime smile into the kiss and moan softly into his mouth, biting his bottom lip and sucking on his tongue. He fucked Nagito hard and deep just as he did so, being sure to hit that same tender spot every single time and making Nagito cry and scream shamelessly.
“Mm…! Mmm!!”
Hajime only whispered short, loving words into his ear every time they pulled back to breathe or moan, making Nagito’s stomach fill with butterflies and his soft, green eyes cloud with pure bliss.
“You’re so fucking hot,”
“Beautiful.”
“It’s only you,”
And then their mouths were on each other again and Nagito felt his own soul had left his body and fuck, he was getting close. He could hardly take this.
Every single time Hajime snapped his hips, licked into his mouth, fisted hands into his hair harshly, he felt himself teetering on the edge of insanity and insatiable desire that he knew would never be quelled for as long as he lived. His back arched at a near impossible degree and his toes curled as he panted hotly into Hajime’s sweet mouth.
How did he get so lucky? Howhowhow-
Hajime pulled back from Nagito’s lips with a loud smack, disregarding the long line of saliva connecting them before immediately connecting his lips to a spot just underneath Nagito’s sharp jaw.
Nagito moaned helplessly, the overstimulation of Hajime’s warm mouth sucking on his skin along with being fucked into oblivion making him light-headed. He cried out loudly every single ruthless time Hajime fucked into him, and his pale legs trembled violently around Hajime’s strong body.
“I - AH!! I love you! H-Hajime!! Please! ” He screamed, blissfully unaware of how loud he was being. He wasn’t even quite sure what he was begging for at this point.
Release? Salvation? Reassurance?
“I love you, Nagito,”
It must have been the latter, because that did it and in a matter of seconds, he’s cumming untouched everywhere and Hajime’s groaning his name and finishing inside him with a few last thrusts. Nagito rode his orgasm out with his heels pressed into Hajime’s toned back and melodic moans spilling from his lips, sweaty locks fanned out over his pillow as cum painted itself in splatters of white over his chest and Hajime’s body.
Hajime sighed softly into his ear as he filled Nagito with his seed, the feeling euphoric, numbing, blinding and all of a sudden Nagito found that his previous thoughts of doubt and insecurity from before had all but left his mind. Hajime’s hips moved weakly, in sharp contrast to the harsh penetration before as he finished inside Nagito completely.
They laid there, panting and breathing heavily in unmatched synchronization, before Hajime brought himself up to stroke his cheek softly and wipe away the tears resting on his cheek. Nagito smiled up at his boyfriend, his heart hurting and aching in all the right ways and let out a small whimper when Hajime returned the expression and pulled out of him. Nagito’s legs fell to the side, still shaking from the aftershocks of the sex.
Semen dribbled out of his abused hole, and he couldn’t contain the whine that left his mouth as Hajime sat up completely and left the bed.
“H-Hinata-kun, where-”
He was interrupted as Hajime leant down and scooped him up into his arms with little to no effort at all, and he yelped, before looping his arms around his neck and before he knew it, he was being carried off bridle-style into the bathroom.
A blush colored his cheeks and he nosed Hajime’s neck affectionately, letting his eyes flutter shut.
Lucky.
It was the only word that seemed to appear in his mind.
Hajime had placed him in the tub of warm water after he’d removed his prosthetic, treating him like a doll and kissing the top of his head before climbing right in behind him and bringing their bodies close together. He pressed Nagito’s naked back right up to his chest and nuzzled into the column of his neck, softly kissing the bruises of passionate love-making from before.
Nagito giggled, leaning back into Hajime and saying, “Our classmates are going to think I’m being abused or something with all these bruises you’ve left on me, Hinata-kun.”
“Mmm…” Hajime hummed into his skin. “No, I think they’ll know. You’re loud enough as it is.”
“W-Well…!” For once, Nagito had no witty quips to make because the reality of the statement was too much to even make a rebuttal against, and he finally settled on, “Hmmph…maybe…” But even then, a smile still graced his lips and the sound of Hajime’s chuckle and the way it vibrated pleasantly on his skin was enough to make him not care whatsoever.
Hajime left a few more kisses on his neck and back before scooching back with a slosh of the water, and grabbing nearby shampoo to lather on Nagito’s fluffy yet sweat-soaked hair.
Nagito let his eyes shut as he tried to memorize the feeling of Hajime’s fingers through his hair, the sensations it sent through his body and the pure bliss settling in on his heart as Hajime would rub and occasionally leave a small kiss on the shell of his ear. He would never truly understand what he did to deserve this type of love, this type of…burden he’d brought upon Hajime. Honestly, Hajime could’ve just left him there in his room, shaking and fucked-out but here they were, taking a bath together, and he was being taken care of like he was something worth more than filth.
“Nagito…” Hajime whispered suddenly, just as the soap was being washed out of his hair and he immediately perked up. He couldn’t help the small surge of anxiety in his chest at the sudden shift in tone, and sank into Hajime instinctively.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, his tone unintentionally wavering.
“N-Nothing. I just…I’m…I’m really sorry.”
The corners of Nagito’s mouth lifted softly, and he shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault. I overreacted. I should be thanking you for the wonderful time you gave me afterwards, anyways…”
“But you didn’t overreact.” Hajime replied instantly, and sighed, wrapping his arms around Nagito’s waist. Nagito’s heart stuttered in his chest and with his good hand, he gently placed it over Hajime’s arm and listened to him as he said, “Don’t just…downplay your emotions like that. If it was the other way around, I probably would’ve made a big deal about it too.”
Nagito considered Hajime’s words, and the only sound in the room for a few moments was the quiet splashing of water and their nearly soundless breathing. Eventually, he hummed, “I guess…it’s just another thing that makes us the same, huh?”
“The same…haha…” Hajime chuckled, and buried his head into the juncture of his neck and shoulder. “You saying that really brings me back.”
“Hmhm, is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Nagito asked, his head tilting.
“...Not too sure which memory I associate it with, to be honest.”
“Hah. Fair.”
Silence once again enveloped the room, and Nagito fell into the warm embrace of Hajime’s arms, the comfortable atmosphere in the air in sharp contrast to the near panicked state he was in only…what? An hour before?
Once again, the silence was broken but this time it’s Hajime speaking. He said softly, with an earnestness to his tone, “Next time, Komaeda? That you need me to tell you how much I…I love you. I’ll show you.” He paused. “Again, and again, and anytime you need me to.”
He thought he told Hajime he loved him after that, but he might’ve fallen asleep by then by the absolute tranquility he’d found himself being blanketed in.
But it was the knowledge of knowing that as long as he and Hajime stuck together, as long as Hajime never left him and the possibility that they could really build a future together stayed…perhaps he’d never have to feel sad and scared anymore.
Truly…he loved Hajime more than the sum of all the thousands of stars in the sky.