Archive of Our Own

It was a rare occasion when Alhaitham actually spent time in his office at the Akademiya. Usually he worked anywhere but the place people expected him to be, so there was a smaller chance of running into them. Today however, he'd found a massive pile of papers and documents he needed to sort through, so he'd had no choice but to sit down and do just that. The sun was setting by the time he finished up, and he was putting his things back where they were supposed to be—people who came into his office during his absence had this awful tendency to move things around without his permission—when a knock sounded on the door. 

Alhaitham sighed, took a few seconds to mentally prepare for having to be moderately pleasant, and called on the visitor to enter. 

The door opened, and in peeked a face Alhaitham was fairly familiar with: a colleague of Kaveh, a fellow Kshahrewar graduate and architect with a similar way of thinking that Kaveh liked to bounce ideas off of from time to time. Alhaitham was fairly sure his name was Ahmed, but his name kept slipping his mind for some reason.

"I do not know where Kaveh is," he said in lieu of a greeting.

"I know, that's why I came to tell you," Ahmed responded, opening the door wider. "He's at the House of Daena at the moment, but when I saw him last now he didn't look too good. Not that that's surprising with the long hours he's making lately, but I thought maybe it's not a bad idea to get him home soon."

"I'm not his babysitter," Alhaitham said.

Ahmed's eyes narrowed, seemingly saying then why do you act like it sometimes? , but then he sighed.

"At least make sure he doesn't fall asleep there again, it gets in the way of the cleaning staff," he said, looking Alhaitham in the eye to make sure the message was received. Then he stepped backward and the door clicked shut. 

Alhaitham ran a hand through his hair. It really wasn't his business where Kaveh was and what he was doing. However, Kaveh had promised to help Alhaitham cook tonight, so he'd better make sure Kaveh followed through on that.

The House of Daena was near empty, most students having already gone home or out for dinner. It was easy to spot Kaveh sitting at one of the tables, surrounded by books and crumpled-up pieces of paper. When Alhaitham got closer, he noticed Ahmed's prediction had been correct: Kaveh's forehead rested on the mess of papers before him, his arms draped loosely around his head as if to ward off any light or sound coming his way. 

Alhaitham grabbed his shoulder to shake him awake, but flinched and retracted his hand when he noticed the fabric of his clothes was damp. He wiped his hand on his pants to get rid of the sensation, then nudged Kaveh with his arm. "Kaveh."

Kaveh didn't move. Alhaitham tried again. "Ka-veh."

Nothing.

It took him almost pushing Kaveh out of his chair to wake him up, his head shooting up and his hands bracing themselves on the table top. "Huh?"

Alhaitham snorted. A piece of paper stuck to Kaveh's forehead. Kaveh didn't seem to notice.

"It's dinnertime," Alhaitham said. 

Kaveh looked at him blearily, taking longer than usual to process Alhaitham's words. He saw now what Ahmed had seen: Kaveh's cheeks were flushed, and dark smudges sat beneath his eyes. "Right," Kaveh said eventually. "Actually, you can go ahead, I don't have much of an appetite today. And there's a lot to do, still–"

"Why are your clothes wet?" Alhaitham cut him off.

Kaveh looked down at his sleeves, as if he'd forgotten the fabric was slightly sticking to his skin. "Ah– I helped some students haul their project things inside. It was pouring like crazy and their device wasn't waterproof, so..."

Alhaitham sighed. Typical Kaveh. How long had he been sitting here in damp clothes?

"You should at least change," Alhaitham pointed out. "Don't forget you promised to help me cook."

"You can cook by yourself just fine," Kaveh shrugged him off. He dragged a hand down his face, wiping the paper from his forehead in the process. If he noticed, he didn't show it. "I'll be back later tonight, I'm busy." 

"Clearly, considering you were sleeping just now," Alhaitham remarked. 

"Ever heard of power naps?" Kaveh knocked back, though he sounded more tired than annoyed.

Alhaitham was running out of patience for this useless chit-chat. A promise was a promise, and Alhaitham was getting hungry. He grabbed Kaveh's arm and yanked him out of his chair, dragging him towards the exit. Kaveh's screeches of protest were fairly easy to ignore, but their tone quickly switched to something more alarming.

"Wait, Haitham, please sto– oh Archons, I'm gonna throw up–"

Alhaitham stopped in his tracks and watched Kaveh tug his wrist free from his grasp, one hand pressed to his mouth. He sank down against the nearest wall and put his head between his knees.

He definitely wasn't looking too well.

Alhaitham didn't often have cause to feel anxious, but this was one of the few exceptions.

"...Kaveh?"

"Hold on, just– let me sit until the world stops spinning," Kaveh said weakly. He raised his head and rested it against the wall behind him. His eyes were squeezed shut and his jaws were clenched, a bead of sweat trickling leisurely down his temple.

Alhaitham pieced the clues together quickly. He knelt down beside Kaveh and pressed his knuckles against Kaveh's forehead. As he'd expected, it was sticky and hot to the touch. Kaveh was breathing hard, and his fingers were shaking where they rested on his knees.

He was in no shape to walk all the way home. 

Kaveh didn't even notice he was being lifted until he sat snugly in Alhaitham's arms. His head came to rest on Alhaitham's collarbone, and Alhaitham felt the heat radiating from him. He seemed completely drained of energy, not even opening his mouth to protest as Alhaitham carried him through the halls. He still looked a little blue in the face; he'd probably crumple like a deflated balloon as soon as he tried to stand on his own.

At least they didn’t live too far from the Akademiya.

Kaveh was asleep again by the time Alhaitham nudged open the front door of their house. He walked straight to Kaveh's bedroom and gently set him down on the bed. Alhaitham watched Kaveh's sleeping form as he tried to determine his next course of action.

He decided to help undress Kaveh first. Sleeping in wet, sticky clothes wouldn't help his fever. 

He got to Kaveh's underclothes before he felt too awkward to continue; they looked slightly damp, but they would do for now. Alhaitham could only wonder how soaked the rest of Kaveh’s clothes had been if the water had managed to reach his underwear. He hung up the garments to dry and then fetched a pitcher of water and a glass. Kaveh was semi-lucid when he returned, following Alhaitham with his eyes as he neared the bed and put the glassware down on Kaveh's bedside table.

"We need to get some water in you," Alhaitham told him. Kaveh made a small sound of agreement, and Alhaitham helped him sit up so he could down a few sips. His skin tingled where Kaveh leaned against him, where his arm kept Kaveh upright. Once he was finished, Kaveh let his empty glass fall into his lap and nuzzled into Alhaitham's neck, wrapping his arms around Alhaitham's waist. 

Alhaitham's body turned to stone.

"I'm freezing," Kaveh mumbled into his skin, shivering as if on cue. "But you're so warm..."

Kaveh all but climbed on top of Alhaitham’s lap, pressing up against Alhaitham as much as he could. “Just let me… warm up for a little bit…”

A moment later, Kaveh went slack against him. Alhaitham couldn't bring himself to move for a good while as Kaveh slept against him, the warmth of his bare limbs burning right through his clothes, his hot breath brushing the skin of his throat. Something in him stirred at the sight of Kaveh clinging to him, tired and vulnerable but temporarily at peace. 

Eventually, Alhaitham's stomach growled, and he carefully peeled Kaveh off him and tucked him into bed. Kaveh was out like a light, not so much as stirring when Alhaitham moved him. He cooked a simple meal of vegetables and rice, and made a pot of broth for when Kaveh woke up; he was certain he heard somewhere that broth helped when one was ill.

Then he sat at the kitchen table, enveloped in rare, yet unusually heavy silence. He kept straining his ears, needing to catch every and any sign that Kaveh might need his aid. Alhaitham sighed, put his emptied dishes in the sink, and got pen and paper to send a message to Tighnari. Surely he'd know what to do.

***

Kaveh slept until the afternoon on the following day. He was barely lucid when Alhaitham sat him up and got him to drink some water again. After that he tried some of the broth, but Kaveh refused to take more than a few spoonfuls, and he threw up what little he had consumed about half an hour later. The toast Alhaitham prepared for him in the evening ended up suffering the same fate.

Alhaitham just refilled the water pitcher, replaced the wet washcloth he'd placed on Kaveh's forehead, and continued reading his book with a brick in his stomach.

Besides the time his grandmother passed, Alhaitham didn't think he'd ever felt so... helpless. He's never had someone depend on him to this extent before. He couldn't rationalise himself through this situation. He was forced to think on his feet, to take things as they came and figure out what the next best step was. His skin crawled at the amount of unpredictability that came with it all. Kaveh couldn't really tell him what he needed, so Alhaitham was forced to make assumptions and hope they turned out correct. All he could do was try his best and watch over him.

He didn't like seeing Kaveh so quiet. He hadn't expected to ever miss Kaveh's constant chattering, or the way he hummed to himself as he made his morning coffee, or the rustling of paper and the scratch of a pencil, but the near-constant silence was starting to hammer on his eardrums.

Tighnari came to check on Kaveh the next morning. He breezed past Alhaitham without so much as a hello and closed the door to Kaveh's room behind him. He reappeared about half an hour later, rifling through his bag.

"I got him to take some fever medicine before he went back to sleep, so that should go down throughout the day," Tighnari said, straight to the point. He fished out a vial of a clear, yellow-ish liquid and set it down on the kitchen counter. "Add a teaspoon of this to a glass of water and give it to him twice a day until his fever breaks. Has he kept food down at all the past few days?"

Alhaitham shook his head.

Tighnari scratched at his ear. "Well, this should help with the nausea, but if he's still not eating tonight, have him chew on Harra Fruit root. That usually does the trick. Aside from that, get him to drink water as often as possible to steer clear of dehydration."

He regarded Alhaitham quietly for a moment. 

"You're more worried about him than you let on, aren't you?" Tighnari said, his lips quirking up. 

Alhaitham found this no laughing matter. "It's nothing serious, right?" he asked instead, fingers fiddling with the pages of his book.

Tighnari shook his head. "Looks like the flu in combination with overexertion. Above all he just needs his rest, and to get some nutrients in him as soon as he can stomach it."

He punched Alhaitham's shoulder playfully, even though he knew Alhaitham hated when he did that. 

"You've been doing a good job with him so far, actually. Who knew you could be so caring?" he remarked with a smirk.

“I’m just doing what I have to,” Alhaitham shrugged him off. The brick in his stomach dissolved a bit, though. 

"I need to get going now," Tighnari said. "If you need anything else, ask Collei. She knows her way around tending to the ill, and she has more time than I do—I can't afford to come and play house doctor every time Kaveh so much as coughs." He disappeared as swiftly as he had arrived, knowing lingering and small-talk were useless around Alhaitham.

Alhaitham smiled to himself. There were few who understood him like Tighnari did, and Tighnari answered his call knowing only his expertise would put Alhaitham at ease. It was not a favour he would extend to Alhaitham too often, but he was there when it mattered.

Alhaitham put his book aside and peeked inside Kaveh's room. Kaveh was still sleeping soundly, eyelids twitching as he travelled through a dream. Did he enjoy being able to dream again now that the Akasha wasn’t harvesting them anymore? Had he missed dreaming? 

Alhaitham shook his head to clear it. Such unnecessary thoughts. He carefully closed the door, grabbed his keys and a bag, and slipped outside to run some errands. 

***

The afternoon sun streamed through the windows when Alhaitham returned, bag of groceries in hand. He diligently put them away, and was about to sort through a stack of notes he'd left on the coffee table when he heard a sound come from Kaveh's room. Alhaitham froze and strained his ears, but he couldn't quite place the noise. Quietly he walked over to Kaveh's room and opened the door.

At once Alhaitham became aware of three things:

Kaveh was awake. Kaveh was talking to himself. And Kaveh was crying.

He lay in bed, his back facing Alhaitham. His arms were wrapped around himself, his fingers tangled in the fabric of his sleeveless top. He sniffed wetly in a way that could only mean tears. 

"I'm sorry, mother," he was saying, barely audible. Alhaitham's feet were glued to the floor.

"I guess I'm not strong enough after all," Kaveh whispered. "I promised you I would be fine, that I'd find a way to be happy, like you want me to be. But I'm so lonely all of the time."

He sniffed again, and pulled his legs up to his chest, making himself small. 

"I'm so lonely and I miss you and I see father everywhere I go and I-I can't– I-If only I hadn't–"

"Kaveh."

Kaveh stopped talking at the sound of his name, but didn't react further. Alhaitham stepped into the room, chest heavy from the sight before him. Kaveh's face was streaked with tears, hair sticking to his cheeks. 

"Mother..." Kaveh sobbed, staring at the wall opposite him. He didn't seem aware of Alhaitham's presence in the slightest. 

One touch of Kaveh's forehead revealed his fever was still going strong, despite the medicine. Delirium most likely explained his current state. 

Panic thrummed through Alhaitham's veins, but his head was clear, and he acted before he fully realised his intentions. Gently he wiggled his hands underneath Kaveh's shoulders and lifted him up, long enough to sit down where his head had been. He laid Kaveh down on his lap and, grabbing the wet washcloth Kaveh had discarded on the bed, wiped down Kaveh's flushed face. 

Kaveh blinked up at him, eyes unfocused. He inhaled shakily through chapped, parted lips. Alhaitham shushed him, pushing his hair out of his face and stroking his head the way he would a distressed cat. Kaveh just watched him with those big, teary eyes.

"It's okay, Kaveh," Alhaitham said. "I'm here. You're not alone." Back and forth, back and forth his hand went over Kaveh's head, fingers running through his greasy hair. Kaveh's breaths evened out, and his eyes fluttered shut. His fists unfurled, revealing angry red nail beds; he must have bitten them as he drifted between wakefulness and fever dreams.

Alhaitham did not know how long he sat there. At some point, Kaveh drifted off again, and he rolled over and buried his face in Alhaitham's stomach as he slept. Alhaitham found himself unable to stop running his fingers along Kaveh's cheeks, his shoulders, the curve of his nose and the arch of his brow. 

Eventually his neck ached from looking down at Kaveh's sleeping figure, and he managed to scoot out from under him without waking him. He distracted himself by cooking curry even though it was nowhere near dinner time, knowing Kaveh found comfort in the dish and he might like trying a bite later. He stared into the pot of greens and sauce and spices, wondering how a heart could feel both so light and so heavy. 

***

It took another day until Kaveh's fever finally broke. When Alhaitham checked in on him before spending a few hours at the Akademiya, he found Kaveh sitting half-upright and gulping down water like a man stranded in a desert. 

Alhaitham couldn't quite suppress the smile that tugged on his lips. 

Kaveh finally noticed Alhaitham standing in the doorway, and he put his glass down a little sheepishly. 

"Haitham," he croaked. He immediately cleared his throat, but his voice still sounded raspy. "How long was I out? Last thing I remember is nearly passing out at the House of Daena..."

"It's been a few days."

"A few DAYS?!" Kaveh echoed, his wonky voice jumping up an octave or two. "Are you kidding me?!"

Alhaitham sighed, crossing his arms. "Easy, Kaveh."

"But I had an important meeting coming up about a commission, and I promised a few Kshahrewar seniors I'd help them with their thesis–"

" Kaveh ," Alhaitham tried again. A small part of him realised how much he enjoyed saying Kaveh's name. He tucked that newfound knowledge away for now. "Everything's been taken care of. I've rescheduled the meeting with your client on your behalf, and those students can wait until you've fully recovered."

A frown still marred Kaveh's face. "But–"

"I won't hear another word about it," Alhaitham cut him off. The fever must have done a number on him if work was the only thing on his mind once he became lucid again. What was the hurry?

"Wait," Kaveh said, his expression contorting into one of horror. "D-do people know that I'm–"

Alhaitham heaved another sigh. So concerned with unimportant matters. "No, they do not know you live with me. However, I had to tell some people you're temporarily staying here until you get better, in case they need to reach you over an urgent matter."

Kaveh still regarded him with narrowed eyes, but the tension seemed to somewhat seep out of his body. "Alright then," he finally conceded, leaning back against the headboard.

For the first time since possibly ever, Alhaitham felt the need to fill the silence that fell between them. 

"Would you... care for some curry?" he tried. 

Kaveh visibly perked up. "You made curry?" he asked. "Out of your own volition? Who are you and what have you done with Alhaitham?"

Thankless brat. Just because he preferred to delegate the task to Kaveh did not mean he was incapable of cooking a decent meal. 

"Hilarious," Alhaitham remarked, completely deadpan. "Guess I'll eat it myself, then."

"No, wait, I take it back! I want to try your curry!"

Alhaitham turned away with a "hmph", but he reheated a plate for Kaveh anyway. Stupid Kaveh with his stupid bright eyes and his stupid childish joy over some stupid curry.

A smile sat on Kaveh's face when Alhaitham returned with a tray in his hands. 

"I also made tea with honey, for your throat," Alhaitham said, setting the tray down on Kaveh's lap. 

"Thank you." Kaveh immediately wrapped his hands around the cup, his smile morphing into something more subdued, pensive.

"What's on your mind?" Alhaitham couldn't help but ask in the following quiet.

Kaveh chuckled mirthlessly, peering into the cup as he stirred the liquid with a spoon.

"I just thought... It feels nice. To be cared for like this."

The brick in Alhaitham's stomach returned with overwhelming force. Here sat a man who got genuinely emotional over getting handed a cup of tea and a plate of curry while he was incapacitated by illness.

It was both laughable and heartbreaking.

"Don't get used to it," said Alhaitham.

Kaveh's gaze turned bittersweet. "Yeah, I know."

Then he turned to the curry. His first bite was a tentative one; Alhaitham wasn't certain it was his stomach or Alhaitham's cooking that Kaveh distrusted. However, a second spoonful quickly followed the first, and something flickered in Alhaitham's chest at the sight of Kaveh's obvious delight.

"This is really good!" he exclaimed in between bites. "Though maybe that's just because I can't remember the last time I actually ate something."

"Always a critic," Alhaitham sighed, but without the usual exasperation. Within moments the plate was scraped clean and Kaveh was asking for seconds. Alhaitham forced him to take it easy, however, and told him to wait an hour or two, just to be sure he could keep it down. 

"I have a few matters to attend to at the Akademiya," he said, picking up the tray as Kaveh sipped his tea. "I will be back in a few hours."

Kaveh glanced up at him, something akin to disappointment etched in his features. "Oh, right. Sure, go ahead."

Alhaitham looked at him. Kaveh shrunk back a little bit. "What?"

"You want something from me."

"I– no! No, I couldn't possibly keep you from your work after all this–"

" Kaveh ."

"Oh, for Archon's sake– fine ." Kaveh put down his tea. "I was just hoping that maybe you could... uh." Kaveh tangled his fingers together, not quite looking Alhaitham in the eye. "Maybe you could help me... take a bath."

His voice tipped up at the end as if he were asking a question, followed by an awkward smile.

Alhaitham didn't want to know why that request specifically made his stomach flip.

Kaveh took his silence to mean he required more convincing. "It's just– I've been in bed for several days, uh, apparently, with a fever, and I feel so sticky and gross but I'm not sure if I trust my legs to–"

"Yes, I'll help you." Those submissions awaiting approval could wait a day longer. Probably. Alhaitham was needed here more.

"Oh." Kaveh seemed surprised at his response. "Alright, um, that's– thank you."

Alhaitham hated how awkward the air felt between them. That's never happened before. He stood to return the tray to the kitchen, leaving without another word. 

He stayed there until all the dishes he'd let pile up were scrubbed clean, trying to scrub his mind with it. He was not one to overthink things; that was Kaveh's job. Kaveh just wanted to be clean. That was all there was to it.

And yet his stomach felt like it was crawling with snakes when he cranked open the taps of the bathtub, dipping his fingers into the water to make sure the temperature was right.

Why was he so aware of Kaveh all of a sudden? One part of him wanted to figure it out, while another didn't deign the subject worthy of dwelling upon.

Alhaitham just hoped that, once Kaveh had recovered, things would turn back to normal.

"Your bath is ready," Alhaitham announced as he returned to Kaveh's room. Kaveh looked up from his now-empty teacup that he'd been fiddling with.

"Oh, um. Good. Thanks."

Alhaitham didn't give the awkward silence an opportunity to form this time. Kaveh had only barely put his cup away when he stepped closer and hoisted him up in his arms.

Kaveh yelped in surprise. "Wait, what are you– this isn't what I had in mind!"

"It wasn't?" Alhaitham was genuinely dumbfounded. Kaveh had been fine with being carried several days ago, and it seemed like the most convenient way to go about things now.

"N-no! Have you gone mad? I just thought you could, like, stand by as I move around in case I fall over or something."

"Oh." Alhaitham didn't allow himself to get flustered. There was no need for that. "Then.. should I put you down?"

"I-I– well–" Kaveh spluttered. Alhaitham noticed the tip of his ears were bright red. He hoped that wasn't a sign that his fever was coming back. "I'm already up here anyway, so just get moving."

Kaveh made a point of crossing his arms to show he Did Not Agree with this turn of events, but he didn't protest any further, so Alhaitham did what he was told.

"It's ridiculous how easy this seems to be for you," Kaveh grumbled as Alhaitham maneuvered through the narrow doorway. "You don't even work out."

"You're not particularly heavy," Alhaitham said. "You could stand to eat more."

"You sound like every Sumerian grandmother in existence."

An image of his own late grandmother flashed before Alhaitham's eyes, and with it came the familiar sting of residual grief. His lips pressed together in a thin line. 

They reached the bathroom, a wall of steam hitting them as Alhaitham set Kaveh down on a nearby stool.

"I will get you some clean clothes," Alhaitham said curtly. "Give a shout if you need help."

Kaveh's wardrobe was a mess. It took him a solid few minutes of digging around until he found a set of clean undergarments, a shirt, and a loose pair of pants. How Kaveh was able to find anything in here was a question Alhaitham couldn't answer, but there were more ways in which he and Kaveh bafflingly differed. Not understanding how Kaveh functioned was not new to Alhaitham.

Kaveh had managed to climb into the tub when Alhaitham re-entered the bathroom, clothing in hand, but that act alone seemed to have drained him. He just laid back and soaked in the water, making no move to clean himself.

Alhaitham put the clothes away on a nearby shelf with a sigh.

"Sit up," he said, grabbing the stool and taking a seat behind Kaveh. "I'll wash your hair for you."

Kaveh didn't respond, but he pushed himself up and scooted as close to Alhaitham as the tub would allow. He leaned forward a bit as Alhaitham grabbed a nearby bowl and got Kaveh’s hair properly wet, so it wouldn't spill over the tub's edge.

Alhaitham poured some of the liquid hair treatment Kaveh always used into his hands and rubbed them together to foam it up. Then he gently massaged it into Kaveh's hair. The strong scent of Padisarah and Zaytun Peach soon wafted through the air. 

Kaveh sighed contentedly as Alhaitham's fingers combed through his locks, his body almost turning to putty in his hands. He hummed every time Alhaitham's nails scratched against his scalp; Alhaitham doubted Kaveh was aware of it. 

Alhaitham, however, was very aware of it. To the point that he might or might not have massaged Kaveh’s head for longer than was strictly necessary. 

When Kaveh's hair was properly soaped up, Alhaitham dipped his hands in the bath water to rid them of leftover suds. 

"Angle your head up for me," he said, uncharacteristically soft. Kaveh did as instructed, and Alhaitham shielded Kaveh's eyes with one hand as he rinsed Kaveh's hair with the other. Kaveh didn't say a word, and stayed unnaturally still when Alhaitham ran his fingers through Kaveh's hair to check if he'd gotten all the suds out.

The silence was once again deafening.

"Is something wrong?" Alhaitham asked. "Are you uncomfortable?"

Kaveh's shoulders stiffened even more. "No, no, it's– I'm fine." His body language spoke differently, but Alhaitham decided not to question it further.

For lack of something else to do, he took the nearest bar of soap and rubbed it between his hands. Kaveh flinched when Alhaitham's soapy palms wrapped around his shoulders, kneading the substance into his skin.

"Relax," Alhaitham said softly, partly to his own thumping heart. His hands almost burned wherever they touched Kaveh, gliding down his arms and up again, squeezing his trapezius muscle and brushing his fingers along Kaveh's neck. 

He'd never been particularly fond of touch, but touching Kaveh... that was a wholly different matter. It sent tingles down his veins in the same way touching soft fabric did. 

It was almost addictive. He had to rein himself in or he’d slip past the point of no return.

He retracted his hands and shoved the bar of soap into Kaveh's palms. 

"I trust you're fully capable of doing the rest yourself," he said, standing up to rinse his hands in the sink. He placed a clean towel in a dry spot within Kaveh's reach and left the room without another word. The last thing he saw before he closed the bathroom door was the bright pink blush on Kaveh's cheeks. 

Alhaitham had to clear his mind. He decided to refresh the sheets of Kaveh's bed; they reeked of that specific musky scent that often came with illness. He threw open the window to allow in the late afternoon breeze, inhaling deeply. 

He felt like a completely different person. One that got overwhelmed by their feelings, was being led by them. Alhaitham had always prided himself on his sense of logic and rationality; this new sense of fragility wasn't something he could reconcile with his view of himself.

Maybe Kaveh had infected him. Wouldn't be unlikely with how much time Alhaitham had spent hanging around a sick person.

Yes, that had to be it.

Kaveh shuffled into his bedroom just as Alhaitham finished fluffing up his pillows, covered in crisp, clean sheets. There was something in Kaveh's gaze that Alhaitham had trouble deciphering. Kaveh crawled into his bed while Alhaitham discarded the filthy sheets—he'd get started on the laundry later that night.

"I know you wanted to get some work done at the Akademiya," Kaveh said when Alhaitham reappeared, "but... can I ask you for one last favour?"

Even if Kaveh hadn't been ill—in his current state, Alhaitham didn't think he would be able to refuse him. 

"What is it?"

"Would you mind reading to me?" Kaveh asked softly. "I just... feel I need some company right now."

Well, that sorry sight was an instant bull's-eye. Kaveh resembled a drenched stray cat more than he did a person at that moment, and as much as he acted like it sometimes, Alhaitham wasn't heartless.

"Very well," he said. "Any preference?"

Kaveh shook his head. "Just take whatever you're currently reading. It's... not really about the material."

Alhaitham once again thought about his grandmother, how she used to read to him whenever time allowed. How the subject matter made no difference, for he just enjoyed hearing her voice; and with his curious nature, he absorbed any and all knowledge like a sponge anyway.

He grabbed the first book he could find: something about the development of language during the era of King Deshret. Kaveh scooted over and patted the empty space beside him, and Alhaitham followed suit. He opened the book to a random chapter and began to read.

His mouth was dry, but he didn't have the wherewithal to get some water. He just moved through the paragraphs, painfully aware of Kaveh's arm pressing against his.

Alhaitham's breath hitched when Kaveh's head came to rest on his shoulder, cutting off his story mid-sentence. 

"Go on," Kaveh mumbled, clearly standing with one foot in the land of slumber already. So Alhaitham continued. He read until he reached the end of the chapter, and then he listened to Kaveh's even breaths. The book snapped shut in his hands, and Alhaitham pressed his cheek against the top of Kaveh's head.

"What am I going to do with you?" he whispered into the quiet, disturbed only by his racing heart.

***

The following morning Kaveh had no issue getting around and tending to his needs. Which meant that, now that his hands were free, Alhaitham had a lot of work to catch up on. From early morning until well past dinner time Alhaitham was busy attending meetings, approving or denying proposals, categorising important documents, and cleaning up the natural disaster his desk had become.

The most bothersome thing to him, however, was how many times Kaveh crossed his mind. 

A week ago he was fine not knowing what Kaveh was up to, but now he couldn't help but wonder what he was doing, if he was eating enough, if he needed help with something. It was new and unfamiliar and it never stopped getting on Alhaitham's nerves.

Cold as it might sound, Alhaitham wasn’t used to spending time or energy caring about anything. He functioned like a well-oiled machine, completing the tasks he had to complete to live a comfortable life. He didn't have any particular feelings about the things he did—he didn't need to. Feelings were annoying and unhelpful, more than anything. The only thing they were good for was getting in his way.

And getting in his way they did, right now. It was no use wondering what Kaveh was doing. Kaveh was an independent being; he managed whether Alhaitham was involved or not. Caring made no difference. It hadn't before, and it wouldn't now.

And yet, something akin to peace settled in his bones when Alhaitham finally turned the key to their house, leaving the remaining wisps of the sunset outside.

In the living room, Kaveh and Cyno sat on opposite sides of the coffee table, a game of Genius Invocation spread out between them. To Kaveh's left sat an unfinished plate of butter chicken, and Kaveh was nibbling on a piece of flatbread as he frowned at the cards in front of him. Cyno tried to toss a candied Ajilenakh nut in his mouth and missed horrifically, but he appeared unfazed. 

"And with that," Cyno was saying, "I unleash an elemental burst, dealing six points of electro damage. It's over, Kaveh."

"Archons save me," Kaveh whined, leaning back in his seat. "That's the fifth time in a row."

"To be fair, you are battling an expert player with several championships under his belt," Cyno pointed out, tossing another nut. This time he caught it in his mouth. "And you only asked to learn the game a few weeks ago."

Cyno might have sounded rational, but there was no mistaking the smug undertone in his voice.

"I'm starting to wonder what the point of these game nights is when you always win," sighed Kaveh. 

"Save some of that credit for Tighnari," Alhaitham cut in, breezing into the kitchen in search of leftover butter chicken. "He properly wiped the floor with you both two weeks ago."

"He's ruthless," Cyno nodded in agreement. "He still hasn't let me live that down."

"Even I caught that fatal lapse in judgement, and I don't even play." Alhaitham flicked on the stove to reheat his acquired leftovers; the chicken had long gone cold.

"You should," said Cyno. "I can teach you."

"And you can stop preaching to a non-believer."

"We should just play chess next time," Kaveh piped up. "At least I'm halfway decent at chess."

"No, you're not," Alhaitham said.

Kaveh scoffed. "Can't have anything in this house," he muttered to himself.

By the time Alhaitham's meal was warm, Cyno had carefully put away his TCG deck and dice. He said he couldn't stay long because it was technically a work night, and he left after passing on Tighnari's well-wishes for Kaveh. Alhaitham sat down next to Kaveh, his plate of butter chicken in his lap.

"We don't usually have game nights on Thursdays," he remarked.

"I'm aware," Kaveh said. "Cyno just dropped by to keep me company. It's dull just sitting around the house doing nothing, you know."

What Kaveh just called dull was Alhaitham's ideal day, but he supposed that's where their personalities differed. 

Alhaitham pointedly looked at Kaveh's unfinished plate. "No appetite for butter chicken?"

"Ah, well, my stomach started feeling queasy after a few bites, so I just stuck to the flatbread." Kaveh frowned. "Ah, I forgot to thank Cyno for bringing it over."

"I'm certain he knows."

Silence settled between them, interrupted by the occasional scrape of Alhaitham's spoon against his plate. Kaveh tucked his TCG deck back into the Casket of Tomes Cyno had gifted him a few weeks back. Alhaitham watched the cards pass through his slender fingers.

"You don't even enjoy Genius Invocation," said Alhaitham. 

It was a statement, yet Kaveh took it as a question, or perhaps even a challenge. He shrugged. "Maybe not as much as Cyno does, but his obvious joy is contagious. Why not play along to make him happy?"

"Because your happiness matters too," Alhaitham pointed out.

"Funny coming from the guy who just gleefully told me I'm bad at chess."

"That isn't the point," Alhaitham said. "You keep putting other people's happiness before your own. You could stand to be more like me."

Kaveh laughed scornfully. "What, you mean I should become a selfish prick like you?"

"Not quite how I would phrase it, but yes."

"You're unbelievable."

Kaveh got to his feet, swaying slightly before finding his balance. "It always comes back to this with you, doesn't it? So easy to point out other people's flaws, according to your views. So easy to look down on people from this high horse of yours. Why do you always feel the need to debate my way of existing?"

"I'm not the one who went bankrupt because of his ideals," Alhaitham shot back.

"That's because you have no ideals," Kaveh snapped. "You're just a cold, cynical bastard who doesn't care about a thing. Who only acts according to his own best interests. There is no one correct way to live life, Alhaitham. And if there was, yours wouldn't be the leading example, no matter how successful you are. I'd rather be broke and have a purpose than be a loaded, stuck-up ass with nothing to live for."

Kaveh stomped towards his bedroom and yanked open the door.

"Living for someone else's happiness isn't a flaw. People are made to care for each other. It's no one's fault but yours that you barely act like one."

And with that, Kaveh slammed his door shut.

Alhaitham sank into the sudden silence like a pebble dropped in water. He stood and brought the dishes to the kitchen, dropping them into the sink to be dealt with later. He got changed, brushed his teeth, and crawled into bed, ready to mark today's end.

When he lay awake later that night, he caught the faint sound of Kaveh throwing up his dinner. Discomfort curled in his stomach, but Alhaitham simply rolled over, clamped a pillow over his head, and forced his feelings down, down, down.

Acting like a person was overrated anyway. 

***

Kaveh had started coughing.

It was sporadic at first, seeping into the living room/kitchen as Alhaitham cooked breakfast. (Only for himself, obviously. He was a selfish person after all.) But it soon evolved into coughing fits that not even Alhaitham's soundproof earpieces could drown out. Today Alhaitham's patience seemed to be thin to begin with, but when Kaveh hacked up his own lungs for the umpteenth time that morning he was through. He brewed a pot of ginger tea, filled a mug, stirred in several teaspoons of honey, and burst into Kaveh's room.

Kaveh jumped at Alhaitham's sudden entrance. "Hey, what are you–!"

Alhaitham harshly set the mug down on Kaveh's bedside table, the tea almost spilling over the rim. "At least look after yourself properly if you insist on causing such a ruckus," he said. "I'm going out. Don't expect me to be back before nightfall, and don't expect me to baby you from here on out."

Kaveh's baffled expression still sat on the back of his eyelids as he breezed out the front door and made his way toward the Akademiya.

Foolish, insufferable numbskull. What good was it to anyone if he just laid there and suffered? It wasn't like Alhaitham cared, of course. Kaveh had said he was incapable of caring. He just saved himself the trouble of dragging Kaveh away from the brink of death, that's all.

At his office, several people dropped by to send Kaveh their well-wishes, some of which Alhaitham recognised, some of which he didn't. People had started to notice Kaveh's prolonged absence and asked him if Kaveh was alright. 

"I'm not his babysitter," Alhaitham simply responded, and spent a fair while in agitated wonder about why students and colleagues alike thought of the two of them as a package deal.

They didn't spend that much time together around other people, did they? And even so, if their public interactions were anything to go off of, he'd assume people would more easily believe the two of them to be adversaries.

He sought out Cyno during lunchtime and presented him with the issue. Cyno fiddled with the fabric of his headpiece as he thought.

"From what I hear, fellow scholars see you as this closed off, hyper-intelligent guy that doesn't deign any opinion that differs from his own worthy of discussion. Yet you always get into arguments with Kaveh, no matter how strongly you guys disagree. The fact that you seek him out just to bicker with him seems proof enough that you don’t truly mind his company," Cyno concluded. He shrugged. "The way I see it, your constant squabbles is how you two show affection. You simply wouldn't bother with anyone else."

Cyno's answer only gave Alhaitham more to think about. He pondered it for hours, but things such as feelings and others' perception of himself were impossible to fit into his logic-based method of tackling issues.

Maybe Kaveh was starting to rub off on him, he realised in dismay.

It was well past sunset when Alhaitham returned home, a paper bag of pita pockets he'd grabbed from a street vendor in hand. Kaveh sat on the couch in the living room, surrounded by books and papers covered in pencil scribbles. The mug Alhaitham had handed him this morning sat on the corner of the coffee table, holding a few sips of tea Kaveh had likely forgotten about. Kaveh didn't look up when Alhaitham entered. He just coughed into his fist as Alhaitham scanned the mess around him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Alhaitham said.

"I don't see why that's any of your business," Kaveh replied. He shivered and pulled the blanket he wore over his shoulders tighter around himself.

"It's a stupid idea to busy yourself with work when you're still recovering." Alhaitham set the paper bag on the kitchen counter and shrugged out of his coat. 

"I've got to entertain myself somehow, don't I?" was Kaveh's sassy response. 

Alhaitham blew out a sigh. "Suit yourself. You want to overwork yourself even more, be my guest. Like you said, it's not like I'm capable of caring, anyway."

Kaveh had nothing to say to that.

Alhaitham put his coat on the back of a nearby chair and ran his fingers through his hair. This day had been far too long for his liking.

"I had no idea my words affected you that much," Kaveh said softly. 

Alhaitham fished a few pita pockets out of the bag and put them on a plate. 

"Only because it was you who spoke them," Alhaitham found himself admitting. He took his plate and locked himself in his room.

Alhaitham had always used words like weapons. Up until that point, however, he hadn't quite realised how they could knock one off balance. He considered it a weakness and proof of poor reasoning when it happened to others, but… Kaveh telling him he thought Alhaitham was selfish and uncaring just when he was starting to realise his... attachment to Kaveh ran deeper than he'd previously been aware of was jarring, to say the least. 

And while Kaveh let his emotions pave the way and often said things he didn't mean around Alhaitham (because his actions often revealed otherwise), the reason this occurrence specifically tied knots in his insides was that Kaveh hadn't been wrong.

It was an astute observation based on the data Alhaitham had supplied him with thus far. It was a conclusion he usually wanted people to make. His attitude was partly built to scare people away, because socialising with other people was rarely worth the trouble.

It hadn't managed to scare away Kaveh thus far. Maybe that thought was what threw Alhaitham off the most: that one day, even Kaveh wouldn’t bother with him anymore.

A knock sounded on his door. 

"Haitham...?" Kaveh's tentative voice seeped through the wood. 

"I know you don't want to talk to me, but... I just wanted you to know that I shouldn't have said what I said before. It was wrong of me to call you uncaring when you've been taking care of me this whole time, and I don't just mean the days that I've been ill. I don't think I can ever properly thank you for all that you've done for me."

Kaveh interrupted his monologue with a string of coughs.

"I'll do my best not to get in your way. You never asked for this, so... I won't ask any more of you."

A moment of silence fell between them. 

"That's all," Kaveh said. "Good night."

Alhaitham sat still as a statue until he could no longer hear Kaveh's retreating footsteps.

For the next hour or two, Alhaitham listened to Kaveh coughing his throat raw, unable to sleep. He peered at his ceiling, arms tucked underneath his head, and watched the moonlight brush over its wooden arches.

He didn't know how late it had gotten when he slipped out of bed and tiptoed into the kitchen. Under the light of a single oil lamp, Alhaitham prepared a cup of ginger tea with extra honey. The leftover pita pockets hadn't been so much as touched, as far as he could see; he left them out in case Kaveh got hungry later.

Kaveh was sitting upright in his bed when Alhaitham stepped inside. From the looks of it, he'd given up on sleeping and was trying to read a book under the moonlight. When Kaveh glanced up in surprise, Alhaitham noticed his eyes were red and puffy. 

Alhaitham got closer and gently pressed the cup in Kaveh's hands. Then he reached out and caressed Kaveh's face, cupping his cheek in his palm. Kaveh flinched at the touch, but didn't move away.

"There's no need to thank me for anything," Alhaitham said softly. "I will take care of you by whatever means necessary, for as long as it takes."

He tucked a lock of Kaveh's hair behind his ear. Kaveh watched him quietly, unmoving, a blush starting to colour his cheeks. 

"Sleep well, Kaveh," Alhaitham said. He pulled back his hand, turned around and left, gently closing the door behind him. 

***

"So you're just not going to allow me to do any work until I'm all better?" Kaveh asked over breakfast. He eagerly bit into the leftover pita pockets Alhaitham had heated up for him. 

"Tighnari said you need lots of rest. I am simply making sure you follow his instructions."

"But my backlog just keeps growing, and I had to reschedule the meeting with my client twice already..." 

Alhaitham sighed, stirring his coffee. "The world will not end because you take a moment to recover. People will manage just fine without you."

"Gee, thanks." Kaveh pushed his plate aside and rested his chin on his palms.

It took Alhaitham a while to catch the meaning Kaveh had grasped from his words.

"I didn't mean it like that," he added.

"I know you didn't," Kaveh sighed. He rubbed his face with his hands. "I just... hate sitting around and doing nothing."

"I could tell," Alhaitham said, the slightest smile pulling on his lips.

He felt he was starting to figure Kaveh out, bit by bit. Kaveh seemed to have this preposterous need to be needed by others, as if he could only justify his existence when he was of use to someone else. That explained his tendency to help people at the drop of a hat even if it was inconvenient or if he didn't gain anything for it. Alhaitham didn't exactly understand it, nor would he encourage such behaviour if all Kaveh did was run himself into the ground. But at least his reasoning—however flawed it may have been—was clear. 

"When I was at the Akademiya yesterday, many people dropped by to ask how you were doing," Alhaitham told him, peering into his coffee cup. "Not that I understand why they thought I would know the answer to that question, but they seemed to be concerned for your well-being, and asked me to pass on their well-wishes."

Kaveh processed that new information quietly. When Alhaitham looked up, he found a smile on Kaveh's face.

"They missed me?" Kaveh said softly. 

"That seems to be the case," Alhaitham affirmed. "So the more you rest, the sooner you can show your face again."

"Ugh, fine ," Kaveh conceded, though his frustration was not fully sincere. "But the least you can do in return is keep me company." 

Alhaitham considered. He did just spend two long days at the Akademiya. A day off wouldn't hurt.

That's how Alhaitham ended up in a chair in Kaveh's room, a book in his lap, while Kaveh sat in bed and drew on his sketchpad. Kaveh insisted it wasn't work, just sketching for his own leisure, yet when Alhaitham asked to inspect the paper he hurriedly pressed the pad to his chest, saying his drawings were personal and Alhaitham had no right to pry.

Fair enough.

The scratch of Kaveh’s pencil on paper permeated the quiet, along with Kaveh’s voice occasionally humming a tune. It was strange how the things he would’ve tried to tune out before were soothing to him now. From time to time, Alhaitham paused his reading to watch Kaveh’s studious face, the way his eyes flitted over the page and his lips were ever so slightly parted. The way his brows furrowed as he inspected his work, the way he tapped the blunt end of his pencil on his cheek when he considered his next step.

Sometimes, their gazes would meet, and Kaveh would quickly look away again, his cheeks tinting a subtle shade of pink. 

They spent their time like this until well past lunchtime, and at Kaveh's request Alhaitham went out to buy them a mid-day meal. They feasted on shawarma wraps, Kaveh now having properly regained his appetite, and drank freshly pressed sunsettia juice. After lunch, Kaveh asked Alhaitham to read to him again; so they settled into bed together, the curtains drawn to dim the room yet letting through just enough light for Alhaitham to see the pages.

As he'd expected, Kaveh fell asleep on him in mere moments. Alhaitham still couldn't quite get used to the pressure of another body leaning against his, but that wasn't to say he disliked the feeling. He simply closed his book and made sure Kaveh was not at risk of slipping off him.

Alhaitham spotted Kaveh's sketchpad on his bedside table, and curiosity overtook him as he picked it up and flipped through the pages. The sketches were mostly related to his job: concepts of floor plans, roof designs, pillars and stained glass windows. Jotted down between them were calculations Alhaitham didn't quite understand (something to do with resource allotment, he assumed), explanations and additions, even notes and reminders to Kaveh himself. His handwriting was quick but graceful and flowy, as well as easy to read. People often told Alhaitham his writing was near-illegible, but his notes were often only meant for his own eyes, anyway. 

This is where Kaveh's genius and artistry really shone through. His ideas were innovative and appealing, perfectly marrying the practical with the aesthetic. His designs were bold and daring, yet fit seamlessly within the majority of Sumerian infrastructure. Alhaithaim had long understood how Kaveh had earned his title of the Light of Kshahrewar, but it became glaringly apparent as he took a peek behind the scenes. 

Alhaitham continued on, scouring page after page, feeling his heart go soft at the sheer Kaveh-ness of it all. Kaveh at his purest, least inhibited form. This was where Kaveh was truly free.

And then he froze.

There were... drawings of him . Alhaitham leaning back in the chair he'd occupied this very morning, engaged in his book. Alhaitham’s face, brows furrowed in concentration. A close-up of Alhaitham’s hands as they flipped a page.

The following sheet of paper was empty, meaning this was the most recent addition. 

Kaveh had been drawing him that morning.

Something unfurled in Alhaitham's chest that he had trouble identifying. Perhaps… The realisation that while Alhaitham had been looking at Kaveh, Kaveh had been looking at him.

He glanced at Kaveh, still sleeping soundly against him. With a finger he pushed strands of Kaveh's hair back from his face, most of which fell right back in place without the support of the hairpins Kaveh usually wore.

Alhaitham flipped the sketchpad closed and gently set it back on Kaveh's nightstand. Then he held Kaveh close and scooted forward so the two of them could lie down horizontally.

A nap sounded like a splendid way to spend the afternoon. 

He positioned Kaveh so that his back was pressed against Alhaitham's chest. Alhaitham loosely wrapped his arms around Kaveh's waist and buried his nose into Kaveh's shoulder, catching a faint whiff of the soap he always used. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes.

Alhaitham hoped he'd find an opportunity to do this again, someday.

***

Kaveh's head was on his chest when Alhaitham awoke. It was late afternoon now, judging by the light squeezing past the curtains. Alhaitham lay on his back, and Kaveh was snuggled up against his side, one arm strewn over Alhaitham's torso and his unruly hair tickling Alhaitham's cheek. 

Alhaitham didn't think he'd ever been so comfortable, so... content.

He lifted a hand to stroke Kaveh's hair, and Kaveh stirred at his touch. Kaveh rubbed his eyes as he woke up, making an endearing little sound. Then he seemed to realise the position he was in, and he shot upright, looking down at Alhaitham with wide eyes.

"What are you–" He spluttered, "how did we–"

"I thought I'd join you in your nap," Alhaitham explained. His hand slid to the small of Kaveh's back and stayed there.

Within moments Kaveh's face was bright red.

"Don't worry, you did nothing strange or embarrassing," Alhaitham added. Kaveh's face switched from surprised to mortified, as though it hadn't even occurred to him that something embarrassing might have happened without his knowledge.

“It’s okay, you can lie down,” Alhaitham said. His hand pressed lightly on Kaveh’s back, trying to nudge him back into his embrace. 

Alhaitham's chest tightened the longer Kaveh stayed quiet. “Is something wrong, Kaveh?”

"I..." Kaveh started. His mouth opened and closed without a single word coming out. Then, in one quick move, he got to his feet, shaking off Alhaitham’s touch.

"I'm going to take a bath," Kaveh announced, opening his wardrobe and fetching some clean clothes. "I won't be needing your help this time." 

And with the clothes pressed to his chest, he fled the room.

***

Kaveh sat tucked away in a forgotten corner of the House of Daena, sketchpad in his lap. It was opened on the page of his sketches of Alhaitham, and Kaveh was just about staring a hole through the paper. 

He had chosen to avoid Alhaitham as much as possible from now on. It was jarring, to say the least, but that was his payment for losing his grip on himself. 

He'd been leaning on Alhaitham for long enough. He'd gotten carried away in Alhaitham's strangely caring gestures, gestures he still hadn't quite been able to reconcile with Alhaitham as he knew him. Bringing him tea, washing his hair, keeping him company... It was like someone picked an ideal version of Alhaitham from his dreams and placed him in this reality (not that Kaveh dreamed about Alhaitham, mind you).

Waking up in Alhaitham's arms made him realise that all that was too good to be true. And even if it had been true... Well, with his track record, something was bound to go wrong eventually. Good things never stuck around Kaveh for too long. 

He'd almost gotten used to it, too, despite Alhaitham's warning. Asking Alhaitham to read for him, to help him bathe... what had he been thinking?! It must have been his fever-riddled mind convincing him all that was acceptable. Normally he wouldn't even consider asking, especially not Alhaitham, and in the same vein, Alhaitham wouldn't even think of saying yes to any of his ridiculous requests—at least, not without asking for something in return.

...And yet he had. It drove Kaveh absolutely insane.

He almost wished Alhaitham would go back to giving him the cold shoulder, putting everything he said or did to discussion and insulting him while he was at it. At least that was something he could handle.

Most of all, Kaveh hated himself for having enjoyed the pampering. For a moment, he'd imagined a world where he was allowed to be treated, where he could accept those kind actions without repercussions. Now some godforsaken part of him missed those gestures, and it left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

He would tough it out. He wouldn't be letting down his guard again.

Kaveh took the page of Alhaitham drawings and tore it out of his sketchpad. 

He crumpled it in his hands, but was immediately hit by regret and frantically tried to smooth out the wrinkles. Obviously it didn't do the paper much good. 

Kaveh sighed and tucked the page between his other sketches before getting to his feet. Today he finally had that long overdue meeting with his client, and he knew that once all was said and done he'd have to double down on his work to make up for the lost time. 

There was a lot of catching up to do. 

***

Alhaitham didn't say a word about his change in behaviour. Quite like Kaveh, he reverted to his routine from before Kaveh fell ill: sticking to his own needs and habits without any concern for Kaveh, and only speaking to him when Kaveh did something stupid (according to him) or got in his way. 

Kaveh spent many long hours sketching, planning, making arrangements, meeting clients or visiting construction sites. Moments he was home were spent either sleeping or doing his chores (he refused to make himself an even bigger burden to Alhaitham). 

He didn't allow himself a single second to get lost in his own head, or replay the moments Alhaitham treated him with such gentleness and care in his mind. It was better this way. 

One night, Kaveh was finalising the designs for his commission over a bottle of Zaytun Peach cider, and he wasn't sure it was the alcohol or the late hour that made his vision swim. Kaveh closed his eyes for just a bit, hoping it would clear his head.

He must have fallen asleep at the coffee table, because the next thing he was aware of was a pair of strong arms lifting him up. Kaveh was too drowsy to say or do anything about it, so he just let himself be carried. Soon he sank into his mattress, and the arms let go of him.

Kaveh blinked, trying to focus on the tall figure making its way toward the door. 

"Haitham," he said.

The figure paused. It turned around to face Kaveh, and Alhaitham's features came into view. 

"Why did you do that?" was the only thing Kaveh could think to ask.

"Sleeping in that position was a bad idea," Alhaitham said. "I just saved you the trouble of messing up your body, and saved myself the trouble of having to hear you complain about it."

Kaveh shook his head. The logic was sound, as always, but... the motivation was not.

"I fell asleep on the coffee table plenty of times before, and all you did then was scold me about taking up too much space in the living room," he pointed out. "You've never concerned yourself with my well-being."

Kaveh sat up, brushing his hair out of his face to properly look Alhaitham in the eye. "So why are you now?"

Alhaitham crossed his arms and looked to the side. "Is it so difficult to believe that I might sometimes have reason to care about something—or someone—other than myself?"

"Only when it benefits you ," Kaveh said. "What could you possibly gain from this?"

He expected Alhaitham to have some convoluted, far-fetched excuse prepared that validated his own reasoning. He did not expect Alhaitham to speak honestly. 

"I like the expression on your face when you eat something I've cooked," he said. He didn't look Kaveh in the eye, and if Kaveh hadn't known any better he'd say Alhaitham looked embarrassed .

"I like the way you lean against me when I read to you. I like seeing you get excited over small things. I like touching you. I like saying your name."

Alhaitham risked a glance at Kaveh. Kaveh was held captive in that gaze, in those intense teal eyes, capable of stripping away all his defenses and drilling into his core.

"I have plenty of things to gain by treating you like you're something precious, as it turns out. And you deserve to receive a portion of the happiness you so thoughtlessly give away to other people, so I think that continuing on these terms would be mutually beneficial."

Leave it to Alhaitham to insult his ideals while confessing he cares about Kaveh, and to phrase his thoughts on how to move forward like a business proposal.

Kaveh couldn't help but laugh. Out of incredulity or resignation, he wasn't quite sure. Tears pricked in Kaveh's eyes as he got to his feet. 

"Well, then," he said, his cursed voice wobbling at the words. "If you insist… Allow me to be selfish, just this once."

Kaveh approached Alhaitham slowly, worried that he might scare him away if he moved too fast, too eagerly. He took hold of Alhaitham’s wrists and placed his hands on Kaveh’s waist, urging– no, pleading to touch him there, to hold him close again. Then, lightly cupping Alhaitham’s cheek so he had the opportunity to move away, Kaveh leaned in and pressed their lips together. 

***

Kaveh was kissing him.

Kaveh was kissing him .

Whatever train of thought had been racing through Alhaitham's brain before now grinded to a halt with a deafening screech, leaving one single phrase in his mind: I don't know how to kiss.

It was such an irrelevant concern, since there was nothing to be done about it at that moment, but it made his muscles lock up nonetheless. He clung to Kaveh's waist as Kaveh took the lead, holding Alhaitham's face in his palm, lips moving against his. If he didn't start moving along soon, Kaveh would take it as rejection.

Fortunately, Alhaitham had always been a quick learner. He tried to match Kaveh's rhythm, and it paid off quickly as Kaveh hummed in response, pulling Alhaitham impossibly closer. He felt Kaveh's fingers tangle in his hair, felt his breath—which still vaguely smelled like alcohol—fan over his face. There was so much to feel , and Alhaitham was taking it all in, gulping it down like a man parched. His hands roamed over Kaveh’s torso, squeezing his sides, climbing up his back and sliding down again. 

After an infinite moment, Kaveh broke away. His large crimson eyes scanned Alhaitham's face, gauging his reaction. Alhaitham brushed his thumb over Kaveh's flushed cheek. Always so concerned about others' feelings.

"I wouldn't mind you being selfish more often," Alhaitham said. "It's quite pleasant."

Something like relief flashed in Kaveh's gaze. He laughed, resting his forehead on Alhaitham's shoulder.

"I suppose that can be arranged," he murmured into Alhaitham's shirt.

Alhaitham wrapped his arms around Kaveh, pulling him closer and resting his cheek on his head. He was so soft, so warm– holding him felt so right . This—the emotional aspect of truth—was something he’d never even considered.

"I will have no choice but to be selfish in return, however," Alhaitham continued. "I am going to touch you whenever I want, carry you around whenever I want, read to you whenever I want. I will care for you in whatever manner I deem necessary, and if you want to stay in this house, you will have to do as I say."

"Hmm, those are some steep conditions," Kaveh mused. He looked up at Alhaitham and grinned. "What if I refuse?"

"I suppose you will have to face the consequences," Alhaitham said, his lips quirking up in a smile.

"Ooooh, scary," Kaveh laughed. "I suppose I'll consider it."

Kaveh's face scrunched up into a yawn. "Mind if we continue the negotiations tomorrow, though? I'm positively beat." 

Before Alhaitham could protest, Kaveh broke away from his embrace, searching his room for a shirt suitable to sleep in. Kaveh smiled at him when he spotted Alhaitham still standing in the exact same spot. 

"I'm just quickly going to change and brush my teeth,” he said, almost as if reassuring Alhaitham. I'll join you in a few minutes."

So Alhaitham returned to his bedroom and slid underneath the sheets. Kaveh entered a few moments later, his hair clips removed and wearing only a shirt and undergarments. Alhaitham could smell the mint on him as he lay down next to him, his back pressed up against Alhaitham's chest just like the previous time. 

Once again, Alhaitham couldn't help nuzzling Kaveh's neck, his arms snaking around Kaveh's waist. He felt rather than heard Kaveh laugh at the touch. 

"I had no idea you could be so clingy."

Alhaitham considered that statement. 

"I do tend to be protective of the things that are important to me," he acquiesced. "It's a pity it took me so long to realise you fall under that category."

"Should've gotten sick sooner," Kaveh remarked, sleepiness slurring his words together. Alhaitham wasn't sure if he was joking or not. 

"You won't get sick ever again if it is up to me," Alhaitham said.

Kaveh hummed. "That's good to know." 

Alhaitham smiled into Kaveh's shoulder. He squeezed Kaveh against him, earning him an endearing little squeak.

"Sleep well, Kaveh," he said.

Kaveh slowly melted into Alhaitham's embrace. The final traces of tension left him with a deep sigh.

"Sleep well, Haitham."

– Epilogue –

“I see you two have found a new way to be insufferable,” said Tighnari, setting a bottle of alcohol down on the table a little too loudly. 

Kaveh felt Alhaitham’s arms tighten around him at the statement. Silly man.

“This is how he recharges, apparently,” Kaveh explained with a laugh. “Don’t mind him, he’s had a long day.”

“Since when are you his babysitter?” Tighnari rummaged around in a chest of drawers, pulling out several boxes of board games. 

Kaveh didn’t have an answer to that. He just shifted in Alhaitham’s lap and patted Alhaitham’s head where it rested on his shoulder.

They really should sit on separate chairs soon, though. 

A few moments later, Cyno entered Tighnari’s living room, staff in one hand and what Kaveh assumed was a paper bag of snacks in the other. He regarded Kaveh and Alhaitham with a raised eyebrow. 

“Do we not have enough chairs?” he asked.

“Alhaitham insisted they sit like that,” Tighnari replied, already sounding exasperated. 

Cyno hummed, considering. He put his staff away and set the bag down on the table, taking a seat. “Glad to see you’re doing better, Kaveh.”

“Thank you.”

Kaveh continued to squirm under Cyno’s intense scrutiny until Tighnari joined them at the table. 

“Are you two together or something?” Cyno said. 

Kaveh blushed. “Ah, well–”

“I’d prefer you didn’t speculate over the nature of our relationship,” Alhaitham piped up from behind him. 

“They’re together alright,” Tighnari concluded. “At least, more together than before. Differently together, maybe.

“So which one of you confessed first?” Cyno prodded them.

“You sound like you’ve read one too many of Collei’s light novels,” Alhaitham said. 

Cyno just looked at them, waiting for his answer. To Kaveh’s dismay, Tighnari seemed equally curious about the situation. 

Kaveh fidgeted with his sash. “Um… Haitham did, actually.”

Cyno and Tighnari exchanged a glance. Cyno smiled smugly, while Tighnari’s ears twitched in annoyance. 

“Archons save me,” Tighnari muttered under his breath. To Kaveh’s surprise, he fished his wallet out of his pocket and started counting out coins.

“What… is happening?”

“We took a bet on who would set aside their pride and confess first,” Cyno said, obviously pleased with himself. “Tighnari was certain it was going to be Kaveh, while I–” Cyno glanced at Alhaitham, “–put my money on our Scribe.”

“How much Mora did you put in?” Alhaitham asked, sounding like he might as well be inquiring about the weather.

Tighnari put his wallet away and pushed a stack of coins in Cyno’s direction. “Here is your 100.000 Mora,” he said sourly.

“ One hundred thousand?! ” Kaveh echoed in horror. 

“I had faith in your emotional maturity, Kaveh,” Tighnari sulked. 

“That’s on you for thinking Kaveh is mature in any way, especially emotionally,” Alhaitham said, amusement clear in his voice. 

“Says the guy with the emotional capacity of a brick,” Kaveh shot back, shifting in Alhaitham’s lap to glare at him properly.

“Can we go play a game now?” Cyno piped up. “I built this new deck–”

“We are not playing Genius Invocation,” Tighnari and Kaveh said simultaneously.

Cyno huffed, crossing his arms. “You guys are no fun.”