Work Text:
desiderium (latin, n.) - desire
Xiao didn’t know when it started.
He’d been feeling…unwell.
If he really had to pinpoint it, it probably started a few weeks ago when Xiao had agreed to travel with Aether while he stayed in Liyue temporarily until he knew what was next. They had been taking a break mid journey when Xiao had felt the traveler’s braid brush his arm as Aether leaned over him to grab something. His hair that Xiao thought was lustrous like spun silk and glowed like the sun certainly also felt like it: it was warm from their time spent outside that day and oh so soft to the touch. Xiao had felt his breath hitch as he had a sudden urge to untie Aether’s braid, run his fingers through the liquid gold, and pull until Aether bared his—
He had blinked then.
And then he had furrowed his brows in confusion at the way that the thought came unbidden, consuming for a moment and intense. Figuring he may have been more tired than he realized, Xiao didn’t think much more of it.
But then his…symptoms continued to persist over the next several weeks. And it always happened during the most inconvenient of times.
Like how Xiao felt his palms sweat beneath his glove when Aether’s cool hand grasped his to pull him over to look at some cute trinkets that a passing merchant was selling.
Or when he felt something in his chest tighten when Aether had presented him with some qingxins he had gathered for him.
Or how he felt a bit warm when Aether had tripped and fallen against him, his hands gripping Xiao’s shoulders tightly as he apologized profusely and righted himself, his cheeks adorably red with embarrassment.
Adepti do not fall ill, so Xiao could not understand what exactly it was that he was coming down with. His karma has always been an unrelenting pain, but this felt distinctly different and Xiao’s lack of understanding of these feelings was honestly starting to irritate him.
Currently, they were fighting a group of hilichurls as part of Aether’s commission. A timely one, Xiao thought, considering his rising irritation and the need to exert it somehow. Though there were a lot of them, he wasn’t worried, knowing he and Aether could easily destroy them within minutes. Despite reinforcements on the enemies’ end, both of them barely broke a sweat.
Finishing off his side of the group, Xiao was just turning around to check on Aether when he noticed a mitachurl running up behind the traveler after having noticed their fight from a nearby camp. Xiao used his speed to teleport to Aether, grabbing him by the waist and then jumping off to the side to avoid the mitachurl’s ax. He gently put him down, ignoring the stuttering of his own heart as his hand slid lightly across Aether’s smooth and toned abdomen.
“Are you alright?” Xiao asked instead.
“I’m fine,” Aether said with a grateful smile. “Thank you for having my back there.”
Xiao gave a curt nod.
Something in Xiao did not want to let go of the traveler for some reason, but he mentally stomped it down and released him.
He immediately jumped back into the fight to divert his intrusive thoughts, with Aether quickly following as they tried to swiftly finish off the increased enemies. By the time that they did, the sun was high in the sky.
Aether swung his blade to rid it of residual blood before dematerializing it. “Phew!” he exhaled, wiping some sweat off his brow, “That was a bit of a workout!”
“The weather is warm as well,” Xiao added, looking up at the blazing sun. He then turned to look at Aether and froze.
He was drinking water from a waterskin and Xiao could distinctly see a drop of sweat roll down the side of his neck slowly. Xiao felt something dark awaken in him and his mouth became dry as, deliriously, an incredible urge to drag his tongue along Aether’s throat and lick the sweat droplet off of him overwhelmed him for a moment.
“-iao? Xiao!”
The adeptus blinked and the world came into focus again.
“What is it?”
“I was asking if you wanted some water,” Aether said gently, though a hint of concern marred his features. “Are you okay?”
“I have no need of it. Best save that for yourself,” Xiao responded, smoothly dodging Aether’s question.
Aether tilted his head and opened his mouth as if to say something, but seemed to think better of it and gave a small, resigned smile instead. “Alright then.”
Guilt lanced through Xiao for a split second. He hated making the traveler worry for his sake and the quick flash of disappointment on his face was nearly enough to make Xiao take a step forward to…what? He wasn’t sure and he didn’t really want to find out. Xiao was by no means one to comfort nor alleviate the worries of another, so he said nothing, a subtle tightening of his grip on his polearm the only sign of his mental conflict.
That night, Xiao dreamt for the first time.
In the dream, he was in his designated room in Wangshu Inn resting on his bed with his back leaning against the headboard, peacefully watching the stars that were scattered across the dark skies outside his window. He turned his head when he heard the door to his room open, then close.
When he saw who it was, Xiao’s eyes widened. Aether was suddenly sitting on his bed, wearing nothing but a thin white robe that left little to the imagination. His expression was sultry as he crawled on the bed towards him and half-laid across his lap. He then leaned towards Xiao, the robe slipping off on one side, revealing a creamy, slim shoulder. Xiao heard himself audibly swallow.
“Xiao,” Aether whispered in his ear. A shiver ran down his spine at his breathy voice.
“Yes, Aether?” Xiao responded quietly, breathless himself.
He closed his eyes and suppressed a moan when he felt Aether ghost his lips along his ear and down his jaw.
“Xiao,” Aether whispered again as he left a fleeting press of his lips against the corner of his mouth, so soft that it could barely be considered a kiss. Xiao’s hand hovered over Aether’s lower waist, nearly touching, but hesitant.
“Hm?” Xiao hummed softly, turning his head to try to catch Aether’s lips, but the blonde avoided him playfully, grinning mischievously. Instead, he ran a small finger lightly and teasingly along Xiao's bottom lip and the yaksha had to refrain from vocalizing his disappointment.
Aether maintained eye contact as he dragged that finger past Xiao’s lips and slowly down his chest, his abdomen, and then lower. He curled the finger over the edge of his pants before pausing and leaning in again, his lips mere centimeters from Xiao’s.
Xiao’s breath stilled, his heart pounding.
“Xiao,” Aether murmured once more, his half lidded gaze flicking down to Xiao’s lips and then back up to his eyes. “Will you let me please you?”
Please him? Xiao never once had anyone in his life wanting to please him or make him feel wanted, desired. He felt his stomach clench in anticipation, in arousal.
“Please,” Xiao whispered, his eyes closing as Aether leaned in to close the rest of the distance and then—
Xiao’s eyes blinked open.
The beginnings of birdsong signaled the arrival of dawn as Xiao sat up slowly and took in the still blue-grey surroundings. He was on the roof of Wangshu Inn, realizing he must have dozed off sometime during the night after returning from a long day of commissions with Aether.
He couldn’t remember his dream clearly, but brief flashes of soft skin, sun-kissed hair, lidded honey eyes, and the ghost of a touch on his lips flickered through his mind. He closed his eyes to try to recall more, but the memories seemed to evade him. The only remnants of the dream left were the uncomfortable tightness in his pants and the sweat down the back of his neck.
Xiao’s hands curled into fists as he gritted his teeth from the surge of frustration coursing through him. He didn’t understand why his body was reacting this way and he was not sure if he was more annoyed with the unfamiliar sensations in his body, his inability to remember more, or the fact that he dreamed at all.
He stood up abruptly and materialized his polearm in his hand.
He needed to kill something.
Over the course of the next few weeks, Xiao became increasingly irate.
He couldn’t stop noticing the smallest things about Aether and his body kept betraying him in ways he could not comprehend. He snapped at a merchant who was being overly friendly with Aether, the worthless human snatching back his wandering hand at his glare. He continued to have heated dreams that he couldn’t remember well, with only the phantom feel of soft skin beneath his fingertips and the echoes of moans still ringing in his ears when he woke. All he knew was that he was waking up more and more frustrated, and all of it involved Aether. He was starting to question if maybe his karma was perhaps manifesting in new ways, and a small part of him wondered if this was what the beginnings of insanity felt like.
Without truly realizing what he was doing, he began distancing himself from the traveler.
He would help him out with his requests and then cite other business he needed to attend to before teleporting away without another glance. He declined nearly all of Aether’s invitations to meals together and other activities outside of his commissions, and he reverted to being more abrasive in his communications with him.
He ignored the brief flashes of hurt on the traveler’s face and Paimon’s occasional snide comments, reminding himself that these new incomprehensible feelings were his burden to carry alone. After all, if this was a result of his karma, he did not want Aether to be harmed by it in any way.
Presently, Xiao flipped his polearm away as he finished the last commission of Aether’s for the day, the weapon disappearing into golden particles. The traveler had mentioned returning to the harbor to collect his earnings after this and Xiao had figured this was a good chance to go with him there to try to catch Rex L–...Zhongli to consult with him about his recent…difficulties.
He walked up to Aether as he was flicking his sword away. “Aether.”
The traveler turned to him and smiled a bit hesitantly. “What is it, Xiao? Thank you for your help today, by the way.”
“I will accompany you to the harbor.”
Aether raised his brows in surprise. “O-Oh. Are you sure?”
“I need to consult with Rex L–Zhongli about a matter,” Xiao replied, crossing his arms loosely and missing Aether’s brief look of disappointment.
“I see. Okay, that’s fine. Is…everything okay?”
“Nothing you need to be concerned about.”
“Hey!” Paimon spoke up, her hands on her hips, “Aether is just asking because he cares! No need to be so–!”
“Paimon,” Aether interrupted, shaking his head. “Calm yourself.”
Xiao felt something like regret surface somewhere inside of him and looked away.
Aether gave him an apologetic smile Xiao felt he didn’t deserve and then asked, “Ready?”
He nodded.
The rest of the short journey there was mostly silent, with some grumbling from Paimon and whispered placating from Aether. Xiao pretended to hear none of it and kept his distance though he could not stop his gaze from continuously wandering back over to Aether. The silky golden braid that rested over his shoulder, the slim curve of his neck, the dip of his bare lower back…Xiao immediately snapped his eyes away, his fingers digging painfully into his crossed arms.
By the time they reached the gates of the harbor, Xiao was sufficiently calmed and he was proud of his ironclad control of keeping his eyes away from Aether during the latter half of the trip. They were just walking through Chihu Rock when, by pure luck, they spotted Zhongli sipping tea at a table at Third Round Knockout. Paimon was the one to call out to him.
“Zhongli!” she called, waving excitedly.
The elegant Geo Lord turned his reptilian eyes on the group before smiling gently and gesturing them over.
“Traveler, Paimon,” he greeted, “And my hardest-working yaksha, Xiao. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Xiao glanced away uncomfortably at the offhanded compliment.
“We were just passing by, actually!” Paimon supplied, “But Xiao said he needed to see you, so he accompanied us into the harbor.”
“Oh?” Zhongli questioned, turning to look at Xiao.
Xiao felt himself tense under his lord’s scrutiny. “I…had something I wanted to consult with you.”
“Why don’t you all sit down to join me and we can discuss over a cup of tea?” The Geo Lord swept an arm over the available seats in a gesture of invitation.
“Actually,” Aether finally spoke up with a sheepish smile, “As lovely as it is to see you, Zhongli, I’m sure Xiao would like to discuss whatever it is with you privately. Paimon and I still need to–”
“Nonsense,” Zhongli interrupted, already pouring three cups of tea. “Xiao and I can discuss at length after you’ve had at least a cup to enjoy. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you after all. Xiao, do you mind if the traveler joins us for a short time?”
While Xiao certainly wanted to get to the bottom of his issues sooner rather than later, he did not have the heart to disobey his lord. “No, sir.”
“Excellent,” Zhongli said, “ Now, have a seat.”
Xiao sat down across from his lord, missing the nervous glance Aether shot him before the traveler himself took a seat in between. Xiao did not partake in mortal food or refreshments, but since his lord poured it, he took a sip of the tea and suppressed a wince at the foreign taste.
The traveler and Zhongli chatted for a few minutes, Xiao content with just observing as he was not socially inclined anyway. Instead, he tried to organize his thoughts internally to see what the best way to explain to Zhongli his recent troubles was. His lord has always been benevolent, providing medication to him for his karmic debt that, some days, nearly cripple him, and while he did not want to ask from his lord more than he needed to, these new feelings he’s been dealing with were concerning enough that he wanted Zhongli to be aware of it, especially if they were truly karma related.
Xiao’s attention was pulled back to the present as he heard Paimon’s high-pitched voice pipe up in response to something or other, he wasn’t really listening. His eyes sharpened though when Zhongli then turned to the traveler. “Aether, you seem more tired than I’ve last seen you.” He reached a hand out to gently grasp the blonde’s shoulder. “Has there been something on your mind? I do not mind lending a listening ear.”
Everything else became static as Xiao zeroed in on his lord’s hand resting so comfortably on Aether’s shoulder, so familiar, and then he felt the cup in his hand shatter.
Everyone’s eyes turned to him in surprise, all but Zhongli, who seemed to tilt his head in curiosity, a pensiveness in his gaze.
Xiao immediately stood up. “I…I remember I have something I must…attend to. I will find you another time, my lord.”
“Xiao–!” It was Aether, but Xiao was gone before he could hear more.
He teleported in bursts, the wind in his ears the only thing that kept his mind from spiraling in his anger. He could not understand why the sight of Zhongli touching Aether drew such a visceral reaction from him. In the millennia that he has served Rex Lapis, never – not once – in his life has he ever felt anything even remotely close to being negative towards his savior. But when his mind flashed back to the friendly grip that his lord had on Aether, the rage in his chest bloomed.
Xiao felt the fangs in his mouth lengthen and he quickly materialized his polearm to have something tangible to ground himself. His eyes narrowed onto a sizable hilichurl encampment beneath the cliff that he was standing on and he didn’t even hesitate before dropping down full speed below.
The enemies didn’t stand a chance.
Xiao plunged, attacked, and struck over and over again. And he didn’t stop there. He warped to enemy territory after enemy territory, killing monsters and shades alike without break. Splatters of blood covered his person and his weapon dripped with the hatred of his slain opponents, but Xiao did not care.
It wasn’t until his hands were shaking from his succession of killing did he finally stop. He ended his rampage at the small lake near the Dragon-Queller tree where he thrust his weapon into the ground and roughly splashed into the basin until he was waist deep, watching blankly as red slowly bled into the water.
Though his body was exhausted and his anger was finally muted, he could feel the confusing myriad of emotions flowing within him like it was alive: discontent at himself for his lack of control, guilt over his reactions (to his lord no less), uncertainty over the entire situation, fear of the unknown, and weirdly enough, irritability at Aether even, for his obliviousness to everything, that it seemed this was all somehow tied to him, as irrational and unfair as it was to the traveler.
Xiao tilted his head up to gaze at the moon, wondering if he would ever get answers to these cumbersome feelings, then closed his eyes, forcibly emptying his mind of all the noise.
He did not return to Wangshu Inn that night, unknowingly leaving a worried traveler pacing on the balcony until exhaustion overtook him.
When faced with something he did not understand, Xiao did what he did best.
He withdrew.
He thought that putting some space between him and Aether would likely help with the uncomfortable feelings he was experiencing recently.
He told Aether that he wouldn’t be able to travel with him for a couple weeks, lying that he had some adepti business to take care of. He told him that if he was in a dire situation, he could still call his name, but otherwise, he would be on his own for a while. Aether likely saw right through his lie if the worried furrow of his brows was anything to go by, but the pretty blonde had given him a strained, understanding smile instead and quietly told him he would be looking forward to the day he came back. As Xiao turned around to teleport away after telling Aether the news, he missed the crestfallen look on the traveler’s face.
During this break from Aether, Xiao meditated and trained incessantly, tucked away in some of the most isolated areas of Jueyun Karst. He exhausted his mind and body daily until he lived and breathed battle, until his mind was empty of honey eyes, of supple skin, and soft lips. At the end of the fortnight, Xiao felt more like himself: calm, detached, and the closest thing to being at peace. This break confirmed to Xiao that perhaps he was only dealing with a particularly severe flare up of his karmic debt and that it only felt like Aether was a catalyst due only to the close proximity.
As Xiao stood on the summit of Qingyun Peak gazing at the stars, he felt ready to face Aether once more and this time, he told himself he wouldn’t lose control again.
It only took one ignorant human to shatter his restraint.
Xiao had been standing on a rooftop in Liyue harbor at dusk, waiting to catch Aether after hearing from Verr Goldet that he had been spending the last week or so there. He didn’t wait long before he had quickly spotted his head of golden hair making his way back and forth between several places in the harbor.
Jumping from rooftop to rooftop to get to him, he paused when he noticed Aether was eventually stopped by what looked to be a Millileth guard who seemed to recognize him. Not wanting to be too close in proximity to another human, Xiao decided to wait and observe.
“I haven’t seen you around in a while!” the guard said, standing close enough to the traveler to be considered uncomfortable. Xiao felt his fingers dig into his crossed arms.
Aether, ever the polite person, gingerly took a step back and smiled, “Yes, I had some things to take care of in other nations. I’m back for a while though. How have you been, Fugui?”
They seemed to chat amicably for a few minutes and seeing that the guard was no longer invading Aether’s personal space, Xiao felt himself relax a fraction.
“Anyway, I have to go now, Fugui. I still have some things I need to finish up for the day,” Aether said, waving sweetly, “I’ll see you again sometime!”
“Wait, Traveler!” the guard called, daring to grasp Aether’s wrist. A flash of discomfort appeared on Aether’s face before he smiled hesitantly and gently tried to remove his arm from his hold. But the guard held on tightly.
“What is it?”
“My boys and I have a day off tomorrow, so we plan to go drinking tonight. Why don’t you come with us? We’ll be sure to take care of you.” His voice lilted suggestively and then he stepped closer, invading Aether’s space once more. Without realizing it, Xiao’s weapon materialized in his hand and his vision began to bleed red.
Aether took a step back but the guard took one forward to match him. “U-um, thank you, but I have plans tonight already, sorry.”
“Come on!” the guard insisted, his fingers tightening on the traveler’s wrist. “It’ll be fun!”
“I’m sure it will be, but I really need to–”
There was a whistle and then Xiao’s Primordial Jade Spear suddenly intercepted the two and struck the ground in between them, forcing the guard to let go of Aether and step back in shock.
“What the hell?!”
Xiao leapt from his vantage point on the rooftop and landed near the traveler, pushing him behind him. “Xiao?” he heard from Aether, but ignored him. He dislodged his polearm from the ground and pointed it at the guard, who cowered away. A small part of him realized that at this point, all of his cultivation away from Aether was all for naught, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care at the moment.
“How dare you disrespect the hero of Liyue,” Xiao said coldly. How dare he put his hands on Aether, holding him so familiarly and bruising his skin. How dare he blatantly exhibit such foul intentions and refuse to take no for an answer. Xiao’s amber eyes were narrowed into slits as he pressed his polearm even closer.
“Xiao!” he felt Aether grab onto his arm from behind him, “Don’t!”
A familiar frustration flared up in him knowing that Aether did not want to take action against this sorry excuse of a guard. “Why?”
“It’s not worth it,” Aether murmured with worry, tugging gently at his arm, “He didn’t do anything.”
“This vermin was touching you despite your discomfort,” Xiao nearly growled, weapon still drawn and cat-like eyes pinning the cowering human in his place. He almost faltered when he felt Aether’s hand slide down his arm to take his hand gently.
“It’s okay, I’m okay. I can take care of myself. Stand down.”
A breath. Two. In which Xiao continued to glower at the fearful human, for once regretting that he had to protect people like him.
“Touch another without their consent again and not even the archons will save you.”
He flipped his polearm away abruptly and turned to face Aether. The traveler seemed to sigh in relief before letting out a gasp when Xiao grabbed him roughly and teleported them back to his private rooms in Wangshu Inn.
He released the traveler before he even fully landed, walking towards the open windows of his room to attempt to calm his anger. He had half a mind to just leap out and kill something when he felt Aether walk up behind him and grasp his hand gently again.
“Xiao,” Aether said quietly, “Are you okay?”
No, he wanted to say. I’ve been slowly going insane from these feelings that you elicit in me. I want to touch you and push you away at the same time. I have these urges that I’ve never felt before and I don’t know what is wrong with me. But he said nothing and gritted his teeth instead.
“Xiao…”
Xiao suddenly whirled around to face him and pinned Aether against a wall. There was surprise in his eyes, but no fear and Xiao couldn’t figure out if that made him happy or annoyed. “You need to take better care of yourself and you need to stop letting people take such liberties with you,” he growled.
“I had it under control,” Aether responded gently and then echoed his earlier words, “I can take care of myself.”
“But he–”
“Xiao.” Aether then raised a hand to softly palm Xiao’s cheek, asking quietly, “Why are you so angry? What’s been going on? Please tell me so I can understand.”
Even in his haze of irritation, Xiao couldn’t help but lean into Aether’s hand. There was a beat of silence where Xiao tried desperately to hold onto the remains of his sanity and then it all came out like a waterfall.
“You…awaken something within me that I do not understand.”
Aether’s breath caught, his thumb stopping their rubbing motion on Xiao’s cheek.
“When I am around you, there is a…heat in my abdomen, my heart rate increases, and I…feel as if I am short of breath. It feels as if I am burning and something inside me aches. It fills me with rage when I see other men touch you, when you let other people take liberties with you. I cannot stop thinking about you and what I want to do with you, to you.” He gently picked up the end of Aether’s braid – slipping off the hair tie in the process – to bring it to his lips, kissing it ever so softly with his eyes closed before reopening them to lock his predatory gaze onto Aether’s.
“I…want to feel your hair between my fingers and pull, I want to touch every inch of your skin until I have it memorized,” he leaned in next to Aether’s ear, “I want to mark your neck until everyone can see that you are mine. I want…” He trailed off, pulling back to let Aether see the desire burning in his eyes. I want everything, he doesn’t say.
Aether looked stunned, a furious, endearing blush on his cheeks and his pretty little mouth open in shock. “Xiao, I–”
And then Xiao kissed him. Hard. And it was like the world shifted.
He snaked an arm around Aether’s waist to pull him close and he let all of the built up frustration and want bleed into the kiss as he delved his tongue into Aether’s mouth to taste him. He tasted like the first bloom of sweet flowers and the clearest waters of Jueyun Karst. Aether in turn melted into the kiss, his arms coming up to wrap around Xiao’s neck to pull him even closer. Xiao groaned quietly when he felt Aether’s tongue lick into his own.
When Aether pulled back for air, Xiao continued his assault on his neck, tugging Aether’s head back by his hair, now loosened, and mouthing and licking along the curves like he’d been wanting to do for a long time, letting instinct drive him. And when Aether let out a sensual gasp at a particular nip that Xiao gave right below his ear, tilting his head to give him more room, a slow inferno ignited inside of the yaksha.
Xiao ran a hand along Aether’s thigh, lifting it up so that he could grind himself against Aether. A moan escaped them both and Xiao kissed his way back to Aether’s mouth, stealing his breath and taking.
When Xiao felt Aether push against his chest, he immediately stopped, jerking back and dropping Aether’s leg. “Did I–”
Aether immediately tightened his hold around Xiao to prevent him from going anywhere and quickly shook his head, panting. “N-no, not at all.” He then flipped them so that Xiao was leaning against the wall, surprising him, and pressed a brief kiss on his lips, a hand running down Xiao’s chest, abdomen, then his pants, palming against the straining bulge. Xiao hissed quietly.
Keeping eye contact, Aether swiftly lowered himself to the ground and Xiao felt something flare to life inside of him at the sight of Aether kneeling to him. The pretty blonde looked up at him to silently ask for permission, leaning forward to mouth at him through his clothes.
Xiao stifled a gasp and forced himself to keep his eyes open as he nodded. He couldn’t help but moan when his cock was freed and Aether took a tentative lick of the tip, catching a bead of precum. Aether then ran his tongue underneath along the length of him before closing his lips over the tip, tongue swirling, and dipping his head forward to take him fully into his mouth.
A choked gasp escaped Xiao as his head thumped backwards into the wall and his back arched. A hand immediately flew to Aether’s head, hovering in hesitation, not wanting to hurt him even in his haze of pleasure. Aether seemed to notice and gently put Xiao’s hand behind his head before sucking him in earnest, his other hand gripping the base and twisting. Xiao fisted his hand loosely into Aether’s hair to keep him there, the golden strands soft between his fingers. It took everything out of Xiao to hold his own hips still and not thrust into Aether’s mouth with abandon.
Very soon, Xiao felt the desire in his abdomen wound tighter and tighter as Aether continued to bring him pleasure, nearly feeling it snap when he felt himself hit the back of Aether’s throat and the blonde hummed around him. Just as he felt like he was going to fall over a proverbial edge, he stopped Aether, pushing him back by the shoulders. Aether released him with a pop, his eyes hazy with lust, his mouth and chin wet with saliva and precum.
Xiao very nearly wanted to thrust back into his mouth at his expression.
He restrained himself and pulled Aether up, smashing his lips into his and licking into Aether’s mouth to taste himself on his tongue. They stumbled their way to the bed, mouths never leaving each other, and fell into the soft bedding with Xiao looming over Aether. Their kissing eventually eased and then they slowly broke the kiss, both panting and staring into each other, as if searching the other’s soul, their ardor simmering down for a moment. It was then that Xiao thought he'd never seen anything more beautiful than in that moment, with Aether breathing heavily, lips swollen, and his for the taking. His traveler reached both hands up to grasp Xiao’s face and pulled his head down to meet his forehead with his own.
“Xiao,” Aether whispered breathlessly. Xiao felt himself swallow with some difficulty at his tone.
Aether then reached for one of Xiao’s hands to bring it to his own chest. Underneath, he felt Aether’s heart beat way too fast, his eyes snapping to Aether’s in question.
“You make me feel like I’m going crazy too,” he said quietly, bringing Xiao’s hand up to his lips to kiss it softly, “I don’t want anyone else but you.”
Distantly, Xiao wondered if this was what victory felt like as the fire rekindled in his belly and he devoured Aether’s mouth in response. Their armor and clothes were swiftly removed and Xiao proceeded to worship every inch of Aether.
They both moaned when they were finally able to press their groins against each other unclothed. Xiao mouthed and kissed his way down Aether’s body, sucking and licking his nipples until Aether was throwing his head back in pleasure and precum was leaking onto his stomach. Xiao grasped Aether’s cock, giving it a few experimental tugs, and Aether cried out, his back arching off the bed and his hands gripping Xiao’s arms tightly.
“W-wait, Xiao–”
Xiao immediately stopped. “Am I hurting you?” he asked worriedly.
“N-no, it feels really good, but I’m really close and I don’t want to come yet. I w-want you to be inside,” Aether said shyly, covering his face with his arm.
Xiao felt like he could burst with his words and leaned forward to remove Aether’s arm to kiss him messily, all tongue and teeth.
Aether panted when they broke, materializing a vial of what looked like slime condensate from his magical inventory and pressing it into Xiao’s hand.
Xiao raised a brow.
“I-It’ll make things…less painful.”
Xiao nodded, taking the vial and leaving it to the side. He ran his hands down Aether’s thigh to position it behind his knees and pushed Aether’s legs towards him, bending him nearly in half.
Aether blushed furiously, turning his head into the pillow. How adorable, Xiao thought fleetingly. He generously coated his fingers with the condensate and, running on instinct alone, ran a finger around the rim of his entrance in warning before slowly inserting one inside, watching Aether’s expression closely to make sure he wasn’t hurting him. Aether gasped loudly, his hands tightly gripping the sheets.
“Are you alright?” Xiao asked, his voice rough. Aether felt so tight and so hot, Xiao was starting to become delirious from imagining something else of his being in there.
“Y-yes, please don’t stop.”
Xiao spent the next fifteen minutes prepping Aether, inserting another finger eventually and another, periodically kissing Aether to swallow his moans until Aether was a panting, drooling mess.
“X-xiao, please,” Aether stuttered, “I need–...I’m so–...”
“I feel the same,” Xiao breathed. He gently removed his fingers, a disappointed moan sounding from Aether, before he coated his own straining cock with more condensate and pressed it against Aether’s entrance.
“Tell me if it hurts,” Xiao murmured.
And then he pushed in slowly. Through the tight ring of muscles and the scorching heat. Aether’s grip on Xiao’s arms tightened and he keened.
Xiao slowed to a stop, leaning forward to brush Aether’s bangs from his sweaty forehead and kissing him gently there. “Hurts?”
“No,” Aether whispered, tilting his head up to kiss Xiao on the chin, “It feels so good. You feel so good.”
Xiao groaned. If only Aether knew what his words did to him. He pushed further, Aether’s back arching with the intense pleasure, until his hips were pressed firmly against Aether’s, bottoming out. Xiao nearly came from that alone, but he turned to nibble on Aether’s ear in order to distract himself.
“Mmmnh,” Aether moaned, burying his face into Xiao’s neck. The sound shot straight to Xiao’s cock and he trembled with the effort of holding himself still as he let Aether adjust to his girth. Aether seemed to notice and he wrapped his arms around Xiao more tightly to bring him in for a kiss.
“Xiao, you can move,” Aether breathed against his lips. He wrapped his legs around Xiao’s hips and pulled, sliding him even deeper than Xiao thought possible. A strained noise escaped Xiao as Aether gasped at the same time.
Xiao pulled his cock back gradually and then slammed home, setting a rhythm that was slow and deep, one that had Aether crying out with his head thrown back. Xiao took the opportunity to ravage his neck, running his tongue along every curve and leaving love bites wherever he could reach.
“F-Faster, Xiao,” Aether panted, seemingly sensing that Xiao was holding back still, “I can take it. Please.”
He crashed his lips onto Aether’s, devouring and taking, before he obliged, seeing how he begged so beautifully. He lifted Aether’s legs to throw over his shoulders and then he leaned forward, increasing his pace and deepening the angle, hitting that spot inside Aether over and over that made him sob and tremble. Xiao kissed away the tears that clung to Aether’s lashes and he hazily thought at that moment that Aether never looked more pretty, honey eyes glazed over, tears rolling down the sides of his face, lips swollen from their kissing, and a lovely blush high on his cheeks.
“So beautiful,” Xiao praised, breathing harshly, “You’re taking me so well, Aether.”
At his words, Aether tightened his arms around Xiao to a near painful degree and then came untouched, his cock spurting out thick ropes to cover his stomach. He spasmed harshly around Xiao with every burst, crying out loudly and slurring his name, and it took everything out of Xiao not to come with him. Something dangerous roared inside him that he needed to see Aether come again.
When Aether finally seemed to come down from his high, Xiao pulled out of him, a discontented moan sounding from Aether, and flipped him over. He pulled Aether to sit up on his knees, Xiao kneeling behind him, a hand gently grasping Aether’s hip and his other arm wrapping around his waist from behind.
“Xiao, what–”
And then he cried out as Xiao sunk back in with a wet sound, his thrusts heavy, unyielding, calculated. He made sure every thrust hit that same spot inside Aether that seemed to drive him insane, unknowingly causing Aether’s vision to fill with black spots from the pleasure pain.
“X-Xiao, I just c-came. I’m not sure I can–”
“You can. I need to see you do it again, Aether,” Xiao growled. A small voice in his head whispered he was being greedy, but Xiao was past caring. He felt drunk with need. “One more time. I need to feel it.” He mouthed at his jaw. “Let me see you fall apart again.”
Aether moaned and leaned his head back against Xiao’s shoulder in surrender, a hand reaching up to hold Xiao around his neck behind him. “Please,” he whispered.
Xiao muffled his moan into Aether’s neck and then started rolling his hips in earnest. He dipped two of his fingers into Aether’s mouth, who immediately began sucking, while his other hand wrapped around his cock to jerk him off. Aether moaned around his fingers, drool leaking out the corner of his mouth, before he pulled back to drag in deep breaths of air. Seeing Aether so unraveled, feeling his hips continuously move back to meet his thrusts, and hearing Aether chanting his name next to his ear, Xiao began feeling the winding in his abdomen again.
Xiao moved his arm to wrap around Aether by his chest, his still-wet fingers brushing over his nipple and it was all it took for his traveler to tense.
“I-I’m going to–”
Xiao felt himself catapult towards the edge at Aether’s breathless declaration. His fangs lengthened, heavy in his mouth.
“Me too,” Xiao whispered.
And then Aether was coming in his hand, Xiao’s name being dragged into a wail as he shook from the force of his second orgasm. As he felt Aether clamp down on him, Xiao himself saw white, Aether’s own name a broken rasp on his lips. He bit instinctually into the smooth expanse between Aether’s neck and shoulder, stifling his moan. He grinded into Aether, his hips flexing once, twice, three times as he emptied into the deepest part of him.
They both panted as Aether slumped bonelessly against Xiao, the only thing holding him up being the yaksha himself. Xiao licked gently against the bite wound before lowering the both of them back down onto the bed, pressing his lips against Aether’s temple before pulling out of him slowly.
“Mmnh,” Aether moaned softly, tiredly.
Something dark and possessive surged within Xiao when he saw his own fluids leak out of his exhausted and satiated lover. He did this. He made him this way. He was the one to please him so thoroughly, leaving a part of himself deep inside Aether, a place that no one else will ever reach.
After a quick clean up of both of them, he re-joined Aether in bed — who seemed to be dozing already — and pulled him close, feeling truly tired for the first time in millennia. Aether cuddled up close to him, fitting himself right under Xiao’s chin, his arms and legs tangled with his.
“Sleep,” Xiao said quietly, kissing his forehead sweetly. “We can talk tomorrow.”
Aether nodded. “I love you,” he whispered sleepily.
Xiao’s breath caught. Love? Was this what this was? Was this why he’d been feeling all those incomprehensible feelings? He received his answer when he felt Aether press his lips against his throat and something warm bloomed in his chest. He nuzzled into sun-kissed hair, the scent of stardust and wind in his nose, and soft skin pressed against his.
“I…love you too.”
But only the sound of Aether’s even breathing met his ears. Xiao closed his eyes to rest, conflicted on whether he felt glad or disappointed that Aether didn’t hear him.
It was a little later, before dawn, that Xiao woke up feeling well rested (he didn’t need sleep despite the ability to feel exhaustion), his karmic pain curiously near non-existent. Aether was still asleep facing him, and Xiao spent the next fifteen minutes watching Aether slumber, memorizing his features and recalling their activities last night, his fingers gently threading through his golden hair over and over.
As his eyes scanned Aether’s fair face, he let his thoughts wander. He couldn’t believe that a creature as beautiful as Aether would choose him, love him. Xiao, his whole life, never once felt worthy of love. Maybe at one point when he was still young and naive, but those hopes were crushed very early on the moment that malevolent god had taken everything from him. Someone as broken as he was, with so much blood on his hands, he didn’t deserve it.
Xiao stopped his threading of Aether’s hair and moved his hand to gently trace Aether’s features. But him. He made Xiao feel like he could defeat a thousand gods, capture the stars in his hand, and burn with the ardor of a million suns. And even though Xiao was the one considered a deity, the yaksha wanted to worship him.
His eyes followed Aether’s perfect brows, the slope of his nose, his soft lips, and then down to his collar and neck, which were covered in Xiao’s marks and exposed to the cold morning air. Something primal and wanting flared inside of him at the sight, deviating from the path of his original thoughts.
He leaned over Aether and then gently began peppering kisses on his forehead, his cheek, and jaw, which slowly turned into heated mouthing down to his neck, shoulders, chest. He laved gently at the bite mark he left on the slope of Aether’s shoulder, an intrinsic feeling of pride welling up inside him. Aether woke up slowly with a cute little mewl and Xiao felt him smile as he kissed his way back up to his face.
“Mmm, good morning,” Aether whispered, pressing his lips against Xiao’s temple.
“Morning,” Xiao breathed into Aether’s ear, causing the other to shiver in response.
Xiao didn’t let Aether say anything else as he covered his mouth with his, kissing and licking into Aether, slow and languid, a hand running softly along his curves. Xiao felt insatiable and needy, something he would have never imagined to ever feel, but it burned inside him like a wildfire. When Aether ran his hands down Xiao’s back, hips lifting to press against him, a slow burn ignited that eventually turned into an impromptu second round of lovemaking.
This time, it was unhurried and sensual, every movement intentional and measured, erotic and intense. They rocked against each other, hands and mouth everywhere, until they both reached oblivion, breathless and panting.
Xiao kissed Aether gently before pressing their foreheads together, his own breathing just starting to calm. He swallowed, looking into Aether’s warm, golden gaze, bright with love and adoration, and felt the words rise in his chest and out of his mouth before he could think harder on it.
“I love you,” Xiao murmured against Aether’s lips before pressing softly to give a brief, but meaningful kiss.
Aether kissed back with fervor, stirring Xiao’s desire back to life, but before Xiao could act on it, Aether pulled back, his hands reaching up to cup Xiao’s face.
“I love you too, Xiao,” Aether said softly, his smile sweet and a little tremulous. “So much. For a while now, actually. I just wasn’t sure you had room in your life for someone like me.”
The look in Aether’s eyes made something warm settle permanently into Xiao’s chest and he instinctively reached his own hand up to cover Aether’s.
“Always,” Xiao said quietly, turning his head to kiss the palm that he was holding, unsure why he ever thought having these feelings and confessing them to Aether could have ever been a difficult or bad thing, “For you, always.”
Xiao kissed Aether on the forehead, who hummed in contentment, then on his nose, before brushing his lips against Aether’s and continuing, “I do not want to ask anything of you. I just…want to stay by your side.”
“Be with me, Xiao. Be mine,” Aether said, rubbing his thumbs under Xiao’s cat-like gaze and gently peppering kisses on Xiao’s face wherever he could reach. “I don’t know where my journey will take me, but all I know is, I want to be here with you, together.”
Together? Something in Xiao’s stomach fluttered. He wanted it, wanted him.
He bent down to catch Aether’s lips and murmured, “I do not care what will happen or where we will end up, as long as it is with you.”
Aether blushed deeply and tilted his head up to meet him, a smile as bright as the sun curving his lips. “It’s a promise then.”
Xiao felt his heart soar.
*
*
*
Bonus:
(Later)
“I heard you the first time, you know.”
They were sitting on the rooftop of Wangshu Inn, watching the sunrise together, listening to the world slowly wake around them. Xiao had his arms tightly wrapped around Aether, who was sitting between his legs and leaning against him, a blanket covering the both of them. Xiao was resting his chin over Aether’s shoulder, content with the scent of stardust in his nose and the warmth they were sharing.
“Hm?” Xiao hummed distractedly, busying himself with brushing his lips against Aether’s hair, cheeks, and temple.
“The first time you said ‘I love you,’ after we…after we…—” Aether flushed beautifully and Xiao couldn’t help but be mesmerized by how stunning it looked on him.
“After we what?” Xiao whispered into Aether’s ear just to tease him, ghosting his lips along the curve for added effect.
He heard Aether’s breathing pick up.
“A-after we…a-after…”
“After I held you against me and buried mys—“
“Xiao!” Aether cried, sitting up quickly and turning around to slap him slightly on the shoulder, his face a darker red than Xiao thought possible.
Xiao huffed a quiet laugh before he pulled Aether back into his arms, missing already how he seemed to fit perfectly into the curve of him. “And you didn’t deem it necessary to acknowledge my words?” he finally said, bringing their conversation back to Aether’s original point.
He jumped back up. “That’s not—…! You were—…!” Aether stuttered. “I was tired!”
Xiao smiled in amusement, forcibly pulling Aether back into him once again. Maybe he should cease with the teasing just so Aether would stop leaving the comfort of his arms.
“I jest, my beloved.”
Aether blushed deeply again, this time, the red spreading down his neck and chest and disappearing below the folds of his loose robe. The sight stirred something within Xiao.
“Can you say that again?” Aether turned his head to kiss Xiao gently on the line of his jaw.
Xiao pressed his lips against Aether’s ear and spoke lowly, “My beloved.”
Aether buried his face shyly into Xiao’s neck. “I didn’t respond because I didn’t want to overwhelm you. I figured there was a lot you needed to think about and I didn’t want to pressure you. I didn’t expect anything and I just wanted you to know that you are loved.”
Aether then pulled back to look Xiao in the eye. “And to be clear, I still don’t expect anything. You are free, Xiao. I love you with everything that I have, that I am, but if your heart decides not to love someone like me—”
“You will not be rid of me,” Xiao interrupted immediately, his hold tightening around the star in his arms, “It’s too late. The connection between us is too strong. Even if you wanted to, it’s too late to sever it. I want no one else, nothing else.”
Aether seemed taken aback for a moment, his eyes glassy. Xiao reached a hand up to wipe away the tears that have yet to fall.
“My heart beats only for you, too, Xiao.” Aether pressed his lips softly against the corner of his mouth, but Xiao turned his head to catch his lips more firmly, pouring his desire, his devotion, his love into the kiss.
And as the skies brightened, the only witness to the whispered promises between them was the sun rising slowly behind the mountains of Liyue.