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You could easily fill a book about everything that's happened in your relationship with Astarion already. There was plenty to say about your zealous and impassioned love affair with the ethereally mesmerizing silver-haired elf you met by the Nautiloid ship.
From the moment you met, you were taken by him - though you tried not to make it obvious. But it was only a matter of time before his silver tongue and enticing smirk had reduced you to nothing but putty in his hands. He'd look at you once with those piercing scarlet eyes, and you would feel your legs turn to jelly beneath you - nearly somewhat compelling you to drop to your knees at his feet.
But unbeknownst to you, there was something else behind those seductive eyes. Something more distressing than anything you could've ever imagined. The pale elf was full of secrets - all of which stemmed from a truly dark and harrowing past that took place over the course of two-hundred years.
Two-hundred long years of trauma, forced prostitution, agonizing torture and endless shame. All carried upon the shoulders of a single vampire spawn, who had nobody left to call family; except for the man who killed him and cursed him with eternal undeath, and the six other spawn that same man had damned to the very same fate.
Astarion, who had not a friend in the world, was carrying his trauma with him when he met you. His interests reduced to nothing but his own survival, he made use of everything he could to earn your trust and protection - including his own body.
You knew next to nothing of what he had endured when he first propositioned you. Alas, you couldn't resist him - and he knew you wouldn't be able to.
All he ever did for the past two centuries was hone his craft until nobody could.
You became exactly what he wanted you to be: his ally, his protector...and his sustenance. All he had to do was ask, and your blood was his to indulge on. You found yourself willing to do anything to keep him safe, healthy and happy...and that clearly meant you were starting to fall head over heels for him, too.
Astarion expected you to fall for him. He needed you to fall for him, to fall for his intricate schemes. It was his plan to seduce you - to lower your guard by giving you pleasure. To manipulate you into staying by his side. But what he didn't expect, were the strange feelings you appeared to be stirring within his own heart - which he truly believed had shriveled up and died a lifetime ago.
Before he could fully realize it, Astarion had found himself slowly unraveling before you. Opening up to you about his past, his vile master Cazador Szarr, and the things he had to do simply just to sleep in a bed for the night - instead of a tattered bedroll in the torture kennels hidden deep within the Szarr Palace.
And every time he confided in you, you listened.
You listened to every word. You knew when to respond, and when to hold your tongue. And most of all...you knew how to help him feel safe - even though as he entrusted you with the secrets of his past, he was in his most vulnerable state of mind.
Your kindness, your warmth, and your caring heart had left Astarion feeling confused. Though he tried to push the confusion aside and carry on with his manipulation, he began to realize that he just...couldn't.
He found his mind starting to drift towards you more often than not. His heart began to skip a beat whenever he noticed you walking over to speak to him. He began to feel a flutter in the pit of his stomach whenever he saw your smile. Did you even know how beautiful you looked when you smile?
And then, he began to realize that the nights he spent with you granted him a pleasure that he hadn't felt in decades. He even found himself unable to rest some nights - thinking of you, of your body...feeling aroused. He couldn't even remember the last time anyone had ever made his body tremble the way you did.
And he began to feel awful. Here you were, fully believing that your little affair was actually blossoming into a sweet romance - when all this time, it was meant to be nothing but a ploy to guarantee his safety.
But...what if it could be something more than that?
Did his relationship with you actually...mean something to him?
Astarion went back and forth between his answers to such questions over several restless nights. Sometimes he'd even have to leave his tent to go for a walk in the woods just to find a sense of calm. He felt as if the very thought of you was slowly driving him to madness.
And then, he just...couldn't deny it anymore. He wanted to be with you. But he just didn't know how.
How in the hells was he meant to commit to a proper relationship, after all, without having it feel tainted by his past exploits?
Two-hundred years of seducing and manipulating others...using his body to secure victims for his master to feed on. Two-hundred years of feeling nothing but disgust and loathing for himself, imagining himself a million realms away every time he laid on his back or crept atop a stranger's naked body.
Those years had left a permanent stain on Astarion's thoughts of relationships and intimacy. So, perhaps...as a start...could it be possible to take intimacy out of the picture entirely?
If he wanted to know how it felt to be with you...to have your companionship without having to entice you into it with sex...would you let him?
Would you still want to be with him if sex was off the table? Astarion didn't even think it was possible.
But you proved him entirely wrong.
Eventually, Astarion couldn't keep his feelings to himself anymore. He pulled you aside one night and confessed everything to you: his plans to seduce you, manipulate you into a tactical alliance - and how it all completely backfired on him when he realized he was falling for you. How he wanted, more than anything, for his relationship with you to become something real...he just didn't know how to make it happen. And his heart pounded in his chest with every word he spoke - terrified of your reaction to his confession, and how you would respond. After everything he'd done...it could've gone either way.
But instead, what you did next...surprised him.
He noticed your gentle smile behind the glow of the candles sitting around his tent. You told him that you cared for him, deeply. And then you took him in your arms and pulled him into a loving embrace.
It had left Astarion completely knocked for six. It felt almost foreign to him: the way your head rested against his chest, your face buried into his shirt...and the way your arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
Your hands never wandered to touch him elsewhere. It showed him that you weren't doing this in hopes of getting more sex. You were doing this out of pure tenderness and affection...for him.
It was unbelievable.
The warmth of your body against his was comparable to the way the sun felt against his skin when he stood beneath it for the first time in two-hundred years. It was a feeling that he loved. A feeling that he relished.
And you felt exactly the same way.
His scent enveloped you as you held him - filling your senses and making you feel giddy with endearment. You felt your heart starting to race and pound like a drum when you felt his arms slowly wrapping around your lower back. You felt his tense body softening in your arms, as his head lowered closer to yours and his face began to gently tuck against the crook of your neck. It was clear that your embrace was soothing to him.
How long had it been, you couldn't help wondering, since the last time someone had hugged him like this?
You felt his grip on you lingering for a moment as you began to pull away. You paused, realizing he might not have been ready to let you go - but you heard a soft sigh escape from his lips as he released you somewhat reluctantly.
It seemed official now - the two of you would be together without sleeping together, for as long as Astarion needed.
Astarion almost saw it as a challenge. There was no denying that making love to you made him feel divine. But you both knew that what he needed much more than sex right now, was to feel empowered again. To regain control of all his decisions, and all of his actions. And you would be there for him, staying loyally beside him every step of the way.
Astarion was growing to love you with all his heart. He loved being able to explore what it was like to be in a relationship, without feeling pressured to bring intercourse into it. The fact that you were being so patient and understanding about the abstinence meant everything to him. He adored you, and there was no other place in the world he felt safer than right at your side.
Indeed, you couldn't deny that part of you was missing the passionate nights you used to spend with Astarion. No other creature in Faerûn had ever been able to send you into a state of such ecstasy the way he did. The way his skin always felt so smooth against yours, and the thought of how captivating it was to feel him moving inside you often kept you awake at night.
But you refused to allow your lusts to consume you. Astarion meant so much more to you than that. He meant everything to you.
It was to be Astarion's choice when the two of you would eventually decide to re-introduce sex into your relationship. You wouldn't have it any other way.
You and Astarion already felt bound to each other, body and soul - and no lack of sex would do anything to break that bond. It's not as if sex was the only thing that brought intimacy to a relationship, anyway.
Even without sex, you would still stroll around your campsite with Astarion's scent radiating off your skin, to a point where your other travelling companions had started commenting on it. That delicious blend of bergamot, rosemary and brandy lingered in your hair, on your clothes...and reminded you every hour of every day that you were his.
But if you weren't having sex...what was it that the two of you would get up to, then, for that scent to linger on you so?
The answer was simple. You spent nearly every night sharing his bedroll - falling asleep with his arms lovingly wrapped around your body. You woke up beside him each morning, your body pressing against his as you reached out to him, half-asleep and hugging him as tightly as you could; your faces graced with blissful smiles as you both let out contented sighs in each other's arms.
On some evenings, after everyone was asleep, you and Astarion would sneak away to gaze at the stars for a while. Sometimes you'd even bring a bottle of wine with you - toasting and drinking together as the two of you admired the flawless beauty of the night sky.
When the wine was gone, Astarion's arm would then drape around your shoulders - and your head would start lolling against his. And then, when you least expected it, he'd place his fingers beneath your chin and lift your face towards his own - pressing his lips to yours and kissing you warmly beneath the moonlight.
On other nights, when it was perhaps too cold to go stargazing...or if the two of you simply felt like hiding away from the rest of the world, you and Astarion would cosy up together in his tent. Sometimes you would sit by the small window of his tent together - and you would be snugly wrapped in his embrace, savouring every moment that passed by. You would even feel his hand moving up every so often to gently stroke your hair. Once, you might have even ended up nodding off to the feeling of his slender fingers lightly entwined within your locks.
Of course, Astarion's body would usually be pressed right up against yours when feeding on your blood to sate his sanguine hunger - and you'd always happily sit there and let him drink his fill. Both of you knew that you enjoyed it when he sucked your blood, anyway - which was just as well, because Astarion found your blood absolutely delectable.
The two of you would even stay up late some nights just to talk and cuddle each other. Sometimes, you'd sit with Astarion's head in your lap - using your finger to gently trace all the details of his face, gushing and blushing over this gorgeous man you were lucky enough to call your lover. As a vampire spawn, he was never able to see his own face for lack of a reflection - but you were more than happy to be there to remind him exactly how beautiful he was.
You enjoyed tracing the shape of his lips especially. Those perfect, heart-shaped lips always looked so warm, so soft, and so...inviting.
You would hear him chuckling softly at the feeling of your touch before he'd slowly look up at you and tenderly smile. And the way his expressions had gradually changed from those dangerous smirks and seductive eyes, to gazes of pure affection and adoration whenever he looked at you warmed your heart in a way you could barely describe. And when he looked at you like that, it was only a matter of time before you'd feel his hand on the back of your neck as he slowly pulled your head down towards him - letting your lips collapse into his own as you kissed each other deeply.
The more time you spent with him, the more you grew to love him earnestly. This man who was slowly learning how to work through his trauma and refuse to allow his fears to control his life. And with you by his side, he felt like he could do it all. He felt like he could do anything.
And he would spend the rest of his days helping you realize just how much you changed his life. Helping you realize that it was you alone who had taught him how to love again.
It was no wonder his scent still followed you, wherever you'd go. Even without sex, Astarion still couldn't keep his hands off you all the same.
And as you laid with him in his bedroll that night, your arms entwined around each other's bodies - you found yourself staring up at him in adoration as his body carefully hovered above yours. His crimson eyes were softened lovingly as he gazed at you - your face cupped in his hands, and his thumbs gently stroking at your cheeks.
Your lover's tender and doting smile was melting your heart. You hadn't once met a man with a more beautiful smile.
And your heart only softened even more when he opened his mouth and spoke to you - his words rolling ardently off his tongue before he dipped his head and kissed you once more.
"You mean the world to me, darling."
"I never want to let you go..."